Monday, July 5, 2010

When will it stop?

Another woman killed by her boyfriend last week. WLBT reported
"26-year-old Charles Kuebler was screaming, in extremely vulgar language, as he was being taken from the murder scene in the back of a police car where he was handcuffed.

His victim was his girlfriend, 28-year-old Tamara Stuckey, better known to her many friends as Tammy Stuckey.

Tammy's boss, the owner of Beagle Bagle restaurant in Madison, 32-year-old Chad Segrest had pleaded with her two days before her death to break off the relationship with Kuebler. He had nothing but praise for her as an employee.

"We told her that this is not a good relationship, this is not something you need. I mean we cared about her. She was precious," said Segrest. "I have had customers cry this morning, and the one time that she asked me about her relationship, I said Tammy you cannot get involved with people when it's a one-sided relationship."

Segrest said Tammy told him she thought she could change the way Kuebler treated her.

"It was trouble from the beginning. I mean you could tell it from her work aspect, boss aspect, asking her what's going on and finding out she is seeing this new guy, and connect the little dots," said Segrest. "For some people they just can't connect the dots when they are that infatuated with somebody. It's dangerous."

Tammy Stuckey worked at the Beagle Bagle in Madison. WLBT talked with three people who worked with her, all of whom had nothing but praise for her, saying everybody just loved her. They
all tried to talk her out of her relationship with the man now charged with her murder."

Another damn senseless murder. Domestic violence. When will it end? Say prayers for the Stuckey family and friends. There's not much that can be said at a time like this so just pray for them as they deal with this tragedy. Meanwhile, the rest of us should think of what can be done to stop the domestic violence that all too often seems to end in someone's death.

Note: One thing I did notice in the WLBT story is Kuebler is pretty. Reeaaal pretty.

37 comments:

Autogyro said...

Tom Royals is representing him, and is claiming an accidental discharge. Even if he is successful in getting the charges knocked down to manslaughter, this would-be tough guy is going to be joining other local knuckle-busters like Bo Tanner and George Bell in the prison system, at least for a while.

Anonymous said...

This is so sad! It is heart-breaking that there are SO many of these relationships out there. I have a lady that works for me that has an abusive husband. She had him arrested for assaulting her and now she is back with him (just a few weeks later). I have tried and tried to talk to her, but it does no good. I just don't understand it. They all (women in abusive relationships) think that they can change them (the abusers) and/or that they have changed after they "get help" after any incident. The one that works for me feels safe and like nothing can happen because he is on probation and knows he will get in trouble if he does anything. WTF?

Does anyone reading this know where I can turn to get this lady some help? Or any ideas on what I can/should do? The hard part is that it's HER choice and with me being her employer I feel like there isn't too much I can say or do. If I say too much or ask too many questions, I'm invading her "personal life" and I don't want to cross any legal lines.

Anonymous said...

She has got to want to get help. Most women in an abusive relationship keep going back, thinking that "they will change". They don't. Mine beat me half to death the last time before I left for good. I know all the excuses, I know all of it, I just thank God that he let me live. There are places that she can go, where he can't find her but she has to make the first step before it is too late. I heard a rumor that this young man had been in trouble before and the comment was made "I wonder if his dad is going to be able to get him out of this one".
Tell your friend to get out before she becomes a statistic! Tammy didn't deserve this.................she was a really sweet and beautiful girl.

Lisa said...

What is making these men so violent and why does society continue to put up with it? It's senseless. If I see even a hint of violence in a guy, I will never see him again. If a guy ever hit me, he better not ever go to sleep. God help him.

Rebekah said...

Domestic abuse isn't going away- it is only getting worse. Lisa, luckily you are a strong woman. Not everyone is so lucky. These "men" make women feel as if they can't get anyone else. They make the women feel hopeless, useless, unlovable, and unworthy. I think something inside the woman dies and she no longer has control over herself- it all becomes about the man...What is strange is that usually (but not always) the abuser might not have a record of abuse with other women. I don't know what makes them fixated on one particular woman. It surely isn't love. Love should not hurt. If a man beats a woman, he does not love her. You can come up with every excuse in the book- drugs, alcohol, his past, his parents, blah blah blah....And most women will try to excuse his behavior until they end up blaming theirself. It is a neverending cycle.
I am finishing up a piece on domestic violence right now. It will be posted this week. I have a few woman who shared their stories with me and I hope people read it and let it sink in. Some of the stories are pretty graphic, but hopefully someone will read it and it will help them. There are other options out there. The MS Coalation against Domestic Abuse is a very good contact. www.mcadv.org/
I know a shelter isn't a place someone wants to go, but usually there is no alternative. There are places for women and children to get out of the abusive home- where the abuser CANNOT find them. If you are or know of anyone who is in an abusive situation contact the coalation. Contact them today. There are people out there who can help. No one deserves to live in an abusive home. If you have children, do it for them. If a man hits you, he DOES NOT LOVE YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE ABUSED. There are people in MS who are working everyday to stand up against Domestic Abuse. Awareness and support are the two main things we need right now. There have to be stricter laws against the abuser as well. If the woman presses charges against the abuser, she should NOT be allowed to drop them- no matter what she says. It should also be mandatory for the abuser to take a 6 month to year anger management class as well. There just needs to be stricter punishments for these deadbeats.
If you are interested in adding to my Domestic Abuse article, please contact me at
shoegirl2u@yahoo.com. Your name will NOT be used unless you give me permission to. Nothing will be printed without your consent. If you just want to talk, everything is strictly confidential. It is hard to talk to friends and family about this- sometimes it is easier to confide in a stranger. Or, maybe you have a success story and would like to share it- whatever the case may be, feel free to contact me anytime.
We need to take a stand against domestic violence and try to put an end to it. No woman deserves to live in hell...

Lisa said...

Shoegirl, that's great what you're doing. The more it's out in the open, the less acceptable it will be. I realize I'm strong when it comes to domestic violence but I think I'm in the minority. Women need to learn to love themselves. My sister runs a domestic violence center in LA and I hear so many stories. It just makes me sick. If we could educate women more, as you're doing, it would help cut down on the violence tremendously.

Anonymous said...

It is terrible that this happened. It is further terrible that it happened in Hinds County. It will never be given the attention it deserves. His parents will pay for a good lawyer, and that will be that.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish...what if she was ugly, reeaallly uuuuggly? Would it matter to you; would you comment on that as well?

Kingfish said...

Go to hell. I've no idea what she looks like. None whatsoever.

Rebekah said...

Anon- 2:01
KF was talking about the boyfriend (Kuebler), not the victim you stupid moron.
Do NOT use this post to exploit your juvenile remarks. This is about domestic abuse and is an article about a young woman who was killed by her boyfriend. Have just a TAD of dignity will you please.....not to mention compassion

Rebekah said...

Autogyro- I don't think I am familiar with Bo Tanner. Who is he? What did he do?

just getting started said...

This is so very sad that women feel trapped into these situations by abusive men. Many times these type have abused animals before moving on to domestic violence. Additionally, I know many women who were in abusive relationships who said the abuser would threaten or actually killed the family pet saying if they left this would be what happen to them. This is why we need a felony animal cruelty law in MS to put these violent offenders behind bars before these become another victim.

Anonymous said...

I believe Bo Tanner killed an old lady across the street from him for her jewelry. I know some "Tanner guy" did that and I think it was Bo.

Kuebler was mean and hateful to my daughter in junior high school. I knew then he would never "amount to a hill of beans" as my mama would say. So sorry this young girl got mixed up with him!

Autogyro said...

That's right - Bo Tanner murdered an elderly neighbor lady who caught him burglarizing her house. He had run up some serious gambling debts and was attempting to steal her jewelry. Tanner was a local bad boy/bully/jock who had been in trouble ever since high school - bad to get in a fist fight. This Keubler guy looks like he's cut from the same cloth.

Anonymous said...

http://www.mdoc.state.ms.us/InmateDetails.asp?PassedId=140911

Not Bo Tanner, but oh, my.

Anonymous said...

Correct on Bo Tanner. Almost got away with it. Shot the old lady in the head with a small caliber weapon, I think that the coroner missed it but the mortician caught it.
Don't forget about Barry whats his name and Oogie

Anonymous said...

I knew a few guys around town like this a__hole back in the
70's and 80's. One of them, (forget his name) picked a fight with a guy at the fair. Well, the guy at the fair happened to have some kind of military background. Needless to say, Mr. Badass got his head caved in and now he needs a wheelchair when he takes a stroll....

I feel so bad for the young lady and her family.

Maybe this "Kuebler" loser will have a cell with a 350 lb. "Mr. T" type who LOVES young white boys!!

Anonymous said...

RE: http://www.mdoc.state.ms.us/InmateDetails.asp?PassedId=140911

This is the DOC's idea of a "Race: White" guy? No wonder they're so screwed up. 3 foot 7 inches? I'd say he needs to be in Protective Custody but I really have no sympathy for people convicted Sexual Battery.

Anonymous said...

S0 you think that he is pretty do ya KINGFISH? Huummm...

Anonymous said...

Tom Royals is a good lawyer.

Anonymous said...

Isn't his partner, Tommy Mayfield, Ed Peters' best friend? Those are the guys who put the current DA, Robert Smith, in office? Good luck on the prosecution. I heard Mr. Patrick Beasley was gonna leave that lack-luster prosecutor in the near future. You know the most the guy will receive will be manslaughter, if not aquittal by accidental homicide.7

Anonymous said...

Went to St Andrew's with Louie back in the day. Based on what I've heard about him since then, can't say I'm surprised. Damn private school kids are ruining Jackson, I say.

Anonymous said...

8:15 you're at least the second person too stupid to be allowed to comment on this thread. since this is apparently your first time visiting this planet I'll type this s-l-o-w-l-y: KF was referring to the practice of older, tougher inmates raping younger, weaker inmates; Louis is in for a lifetime of hell as long as he's in stir.

Anonymous said...

kid's father is a dr., has bailed him out numerous times before. and the acorn doesnt fall far from the tree.

Kingfish said...

So he "accidentally" pointed a gun at her head?

Anonymous said...

Don't suppose anyone has looked at where our state now stands on murder by handgun or murder of law enforcement officers killed in the line of duty?

And, we certainly don't want to look at how we rate when it comes to domestic violence or ask why that might be.

If women are valued only based on their appeal to men and ability to satisfy a man's needs, then women will feel they must have a man's approval to be worthy and some men will have unreasonable expectations.

Autogyro said...

Anon @ 7:03 - Did Kuebler finish at St. Andrew's? They don't put up with a lot of crap out there, especially when it comes to bullying. Two of Charles Irby's kids got kicked out, and he was on the board.

Anonymous said...

Some women just like nice shoes.

Anonymous said...

what a douchebag. i hope he dies with a dick in his mouth.

Anonymous said...

Imagine being an ex husband with a wife that is being abused; and your kids are in the house. She's in denial, the courts don't want to hear it, and guess what, I'm a father with no rights to protect my children.

Anonymous said...

Autogyro - No, he left around 5th or 6th grade and bounced around a bunch of places after that.

And you are right, Charles Irby's kids were kicked out, but it wasn't for bullying, it was for being fucked up at school.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 6:01 is right--after Louie left St. A he bounced around but JA is where he stayed for the longest period of time. Last I had heard he, like most of NE Jxn's so-called "delinquents," had made his way to the Ed Center. not sure if he ever graduated. people that were closer to him in school say his mom is nice lady and that it's his dad who is the enabler (aka Robbie Bell) who always bails him out. a few who had seen him more recently said he was more off his rocker than usual because supposedly he switched from Coke to Meth as his drug of choice.

Anonymous said...

'the gun dropped'?? come on tom, if you can't make up something better than that, hang it up.

i hate it when i've got a huge buzz on at 2am, get the pistole out and start practicing spinning it on my finger, ringo style, and it flies off, bounces up in the air, goes off, and hits a girl in the temple. buzz kill, no pun intended...

Autogyro said...

Thanks for the further information 6:01 and 10:23. I'm not surprised that he eventually ended up at the Ed Center - they have a number of distinguished alums currently incarcerated. And meth use would certainly explain a lot, especially his behavior upon arrest - kicking out the window of the patrol car, screaming and yelling, etc.

I read the newspaper article today, and the "dropped gun scenario" should be easy to prove or disprove with proper forensics. Let's hope JPD gets it right this time.

Anonymous said...

The Ed Center isn't the only private school with incarcerated alums. They do a good job for the kids there. Not everyone fits in at JA or Prep.

Kingfish said...

Gun dropped and just happened to make a perfect shot to the head. Yeah, happens all the time.

Anonymous said...

Are comments becoming more enlightened? Or is it just me? Or the alcohol?



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