Friday, August 16, 2024

Food Fight: Mississippi Swindle Edition!

 Disgust! Outrage! More Outrage!  Such were the reactions of the politeratti in Mississippi after State Auditor Shad White's book, Mississippi Swindle, hit bookstores last week.  This tome was no milquetoast corporate writing but a no-holds barred account of the DHS scandal.  No punches were pulled as the State Auditor threw more than a few at former U.S. Attorney Mike Hurst, Attorney General Lynn Fitch, and others.  Needless to say, they took none too kindly to their characterizations in the book.  While they fired back in fury, the politeratti gasped "How could he?" 

Mr. Hurst took his grievances to the airwaves Monday morning as he appeared on the Clay Edwards Radio Show.  The show is posted below.  


The interview with Mr. Hurst is the first 40 minutes of the video.  The rest of the video is the second hour of the show were Clay Edwards and Shaun Yurtkuran discussed the book and the interview.  Mr. Hurst told Mississippi Today

It’s sad and disappointing that our state auditor would stoop to these levels of lies, rumors and innuendo in order to bolster himself politically and enrich himself financially during an ongoing criminal investigation. While fantasy and fiction may sell books, and maybe in his mind bolster his chances for higher office, it is not in the best interest of, or the right way forward for, our state.

Mr. Hurst took strong exception with the book's claim he met with Nancy New alone.  He told the interviewers he met New but with two prosecutors and an FBI agent at his office.    

The Attorney General had a few things to say as well after the book called her "Lazy Lynn": 

On the Ethics in Government Act:

 

The people should be able to expect that those they elect will comply with the letter and the spirit of that law, including when it says "no public servant shall use his official position to obtain, or attempt to obtain, pecuniary benefit for himself other than that compensation provided for by law."  

Shad White chose to work for the people.  And while still on the people's payroll, he chose to get paid for writing a book about that work and about his previously private, undisclosed investigative conversations.  This seems to be the very situation the Ethics in Government Act was meant to address.  

 

On the Timeline:

 

Shad White made his decision early on to make his case on Twitter and in front of cameras instead of doing it methodically the way a serious auditor or attorney would.  He made a choice to buddy up with Jody Owens who could count the number of days he'd been a prosecutor instead of taking the evidence to the US Attorney or Attorney General.  He says he wanted a show of bipartisanship, but perhaps it was because he didn't see a Democrat district attorney who just left his job suing the State as a threat to his ambitions.  

When Shad White finally shared the evidence, it was in the kind of slow drip that makes successful litigation more complicated. The first of it was disclosed a year and a half after White and Owens announced the indictments and the rest of it a whole year after that in 2022.  Yet even now, it still seems we are discovering there is more.  Being methodical and strategic may seem boring to him, but to those of us who take our work seriously, it's the only way that demonstrates respect for the people and the law.

Mississippi Today reported the Attorney General's office said:

We can’t speak for others, but as far as its account of the Attorney General’s role, we consider the book fiction. 

Mr. White fired back at his critics with his own statement: 

If Mike had had his way, he would have slow-walked a prosecution and cost taxpayers millions of additional welfare dollars. Before my time in office, the auditor’s office turned over a case to the feds involving the Mississippi Department of Education, and the feds took years to indict anyone and didn’t charge a single additional person beyond the people we’d identified as culprits. Neither the district attorney nor I were willing to watch that happen again here and watch more welfare money burn. We acted. 
The truth, unfortunately, is that Mike was not a particularly good U.S. Attorney. Consider that he took a meeting with Nancy New while it was publicly known we were investigating her. He potentially turned himself into a witness in the process and did not launch his own investigation at the time. He did not put her on a wire to wear around other potential welfare fraudsters. He did nothing at all. If Mike is complaining that he wishes he would have had the chance to work on the case earlier, he could have acted then. He didn’t. In fact, by the end of Mike’s time as U.S. Attorney, he had taken no real action on the welfare case whatsoever. 
Everyone knows why Mike is trying to criticize me and play Monday morning quarterback now. It’s because my book pointed out his sloppy, unprofessional behavior. Mike is a wannabe politician who knows the truth about this case threatens his ability to launch another failed run, so he’s mad. And people can read for themselves about what happened and decide what they think.
The same could be said for Lynn, because her handling of the case could end her career. She knows the book tells the truth about how she failed to prosecute a soul, failed to seize any property bought with stolen welfare money, and forced the state to hire private attorneys to get the welfare money back because she won’t do her job. That decision by Lazy Lynn has cost taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars and counting. Nothing the book says compromises the ability of the Jones Walker lawyers to get the welfare money back. I have a First Amendment right just like any other citizen to tell the story of what happened, and it’s even more important here because the story is a true and tragic tale of a scheme that cost taxpayers millions.

 Mississippi Today jumped into the fray with some rather pointed coverage by veteran political reporter Geoffrey Pender.  It is probably only a matter of time before columnists Sid Salter and Bill Crawford wade in with their opinions.  

The book can be purchased at Amazon in hardcover or Kindle format.  However, before you read this book what you need is a drink and Briarwood Liquor sells drinks that are perfect for reading.  

Kingfish note: Allow yours truly to play devil's advocate.  While Mr. White has received criticism for publishing such a book while the investigation is "open," the truth is, the investigation is actually closed for Mr. White as well as the state.  Mr. White investigated the case.  The District Attorney prosecuted the case and obtained convictions.  There remains a federal investigation and the DHS clawback lawsuits.  However, those are not in Mr. White's purview.  Mr. White said a plethora of books such as Bad Blood (Theranos), Going Infinite (SBF), and those covering the Enron scandal were published before all prosecutions and lawsuits were completed.  


89 comments:

Anonymous said...

Regardless of what one thinks about the right or wrong of a state auditor publishing such a book with inside knowledge only he would have, this is not something that will help him politically. If White has aspirations for future political office, and most think he certainly does, this is going to be a stain on that white knight persona he had before.

Anonymous said...

Mike may be a wanna be politician, but he is a real attorney, and a good and honest one at that. Shad....well hopefully this is the nail in the coffin for his political aspirations.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was well written and laid out well. I enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...

I think it shows pretty poor judgment on White’s part to publish this book. I expect he has burned a number of bridges doing this, and that will hurt him. People don’t succeed in politics or anything else by attacking others who might could be helpful. It really isn’t a very good idea to pick a fight with someone when it isn’t really necessary.

Anonymous said...

It’s a sleazy move to write the book while in office. I’m just surprised we are actually able to comment on it since he advertises so much on the blog. Least it gives lil Shad a way to get in those anonymous comments of how great the book is and “enjoyed it so much” ha.

Anonymous said...

Shad’s deference to Jody Owens is about to bite him in da arse.

Anonymous said...

I read that he was praising himself for trusting Jody Owens with pursuing the Brett Favre case, Can anyone get him to comment on that decision now?

Yossarian said...

Lynn, Lynn, Lynn . . . The evidence wasn't shared fast enough? Unlike the DA, doesn't she have upwards of 50 certified law enforcement investigators on her staff? Unlike the Auditor, doesn't she have upwards of 100 semi-qualified attorneys in her employ? All these people at her disposal and she never thought to conduct her own investigation?


Our Attorney General always has an explanation for doing nothing. But you know what they say, if you are explaining, you are losing.

Yossarian said...

How can the AG say she did not have the evidence when her investigators performed the phone dumps on all the cell phones for the Auditor's office.

Anonymous said...

Lynn Fitch is mad at Shad for writing a book. I will be equally impressed if she would read a book.

Anonymous said...

Little Ole Shad just could not overcome his ego & littleness. He’s pretty much caved his political future in my opinion. The average voter does not think well of a mean & vindictive unbalanced politician!

Anonymous said...

What did Mike Hurst ever do/accomplish, other than get a cush job at a mediocre regional law firm?

Anonymous said...

Shad needs to get comfortable at the auditors office and try to keep that job.

Go Shad! said...

When is Lynn's book about her lawsuit against China going to be released?

Anonymous said...

Lynn and Mike wear the same suits - empty.

Anonymous said...

Hurst is a political creature, and Fitch is playing one on TV. I couldn't imagine either of them ever being willing to step on the toes necessary to expose the people behind the DHS/TANF scandal, so I actually applaud the auditor for going around them.

Anonymous said...

Shad's criticism of Lynn seems to be on target, although the name-calling is obviously petty. His picking a fight with Mike Hurst seems strange to me, though, since Mike isn't running for office, was a Trump appointee, has a lot of support and connections from his prosecutions, previous political run, etc. It seems just so unnecessary to go there. Sure, the people REALLY paying attention might have wondered why Shad didn't go federal (& suspected it was to protect Phil Bryant), but for 99% of people, that was off their radar. That angle also tied him to the hip with Jody Owens - and we'll see how that goes.

I'm still a Shad fan, but this whole book thing isn't going to help him and seems like a poorly thought out plan. Maybe it will all work out if he waits in the Auditor's job for another 7 or 11 years before going after Governor or whatever, but this seems to hurt him in the short run.

Anonymous said...

Might I suggest "Milquetoast Mike" to go with "Lazy Lynn?" Shad is running circles around them. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever heard a positive thing about Lynn. Her and Mike are both just kind of "there."

Anonymous said...

Mixed opinions here. He shouldn’t have published the book while still in office. Lynn is right about why he chose Owens to prosecute. But Shad is right about both Lynn and Hurst. They are both empty suits. I still remember that commercial Jim hood ran some years ago calling Hurst a cute lap dog that won’t hunt. Hilarious and still true.

Anonymous said...

Eh, I think this book'll be a wash in regards to helping/hurting Shad. Sure it'll piss off the Ol Boy Republican network, but what DOESN'T piss off the Ol Boy Republican network. They're just the mirror image of the rot in Jackson's political establishment.

Anonymous said...

Yes it’s hurts when one of your on puts your dirty laundry out in public! The former president will talk about y’all asses if you cross him and you then get in the public’s ear and support him. Shad just like the former President ain’t shutting you’ll asses.
Shad will not lie because he knows he could get sued for slander! If it’s a lie sue him or shut the hell up!

Anonymous said...

Haha... hope Mike doesn't kick his skinny butt. Shad's writing an awful lot of checks his body can't cash.

Anonymous said...

The commentary here is fascinating. Most of the criticism for Shad goes something like "this will ruin his political career." It's funny reading this from the same folks who purport to always cheer against the good ole boy system. Honestly, it's refreshing to see a politician take on the system with reckless abandon.

The book reads as an essay for welfare reform painted by the author's own experiences--both personal and professional. God forbid Shad or anyone else have an opinion.

Anonymous said...

Shad’s primary reason for writing this book was an attempt to fortify the narrative that he’s pushed for the last several years. He’s misconstrued facts and concealed evidence and those who need to know that, do indeed know it. He’s been out of the loop on the investigation for a while now, as he’s admitted, and there’s probably a good reason for that. Unfortunately for him, it’s not because the investigation is “at the end” as he apparently hopes. Shad’s got problems on the horizon, and if his ego would allow it, he’d be better off keeping quiet.

Anonymous said...

NGL, I'm a Shad fan looking forward to reading the book. At least Shad was pushing and publicizing the investigation. For that alone, you have my vote for whichever office you run for.
Mike and Lynn appear to have been doing nothing so that their fellow Republican crones wouldn't have to face any consequences. I'll vote for a Dem before I vote for either of them.

Anonymous said...



"Lynn and Mike wear the same suits - empty."
August 16, 2024 at 12:31 PM

Au contraire! I fondly remember a picture of Mike, on the steps in front of some important DC building. He's wearing a suit, in one of those fine 'Super 200s'-type materials, featuring flat-front trousers. I'm assuming boxers are underneath. My husband only wears boxers, when he wants to distract and intimidate other men (they're too busy wondering whether they've been caught looking, to dwell on the importance of a clause our attorneys have inserted in a document, and...). Anyway, at least in that photo, the suit was definitely not empty.

Beneath that screwed-down goodboy hairdo, and affirming the possibilities implied by that square-jawed English-type face, I can see why the jock-sniffers running Mississippi concluded that Mike is a fine young man.

Anonymous said...

Local official stealing your money?
Shad says that's not funny!
But instead of just cutting them slack,
He actually tries to get money back.
So now you're upset he wrote a book?
Well he's the one who made us look!
He deserves the royalties it pays
And keep in mind this short phrase:
Got a bigwig doing bad?
Just call Shad!
Want to do right?
Vote Shad White!!

Anonymous said...

Shad’s ‘Stay in the Sip’ interns are busy on social media today it appears!

Anonymous said...

I will agree with the majority that Lynn is absolutely terrible and nonexistent at her job but Mike Hurst if y’all will remember, did the Eppes case and one of the people involved was a very powerful person from Rankin County so the fact that he is somehow not doing anything or soft don’t crime is complete BS!

Anonymous said...

I found that the facts of the case were interesting could have left out the personal attacks . That makes me think he picked of Hurst out of happily and thinking that he may be a future political rival.

Anonymous said...

Calling the fella out for the sunglasses and frat boy haircut and trashing the guy on the CPA board who is over 4 people showed me Shad has a complex

Anonymous said...

1) As long as the information in the book was not privileged at the time written and as long as the book was written on Shad's personal time and dime, I see no ethics violation.

2) In a classic case of guilty deflection, Lynn & Co. talk about what Shad did instead of what she did.

Anonymous said...

The star of the book is Ritchie Mccluskey bar none . Shad is just reaping the benefits

Anonymous said...

Shad is just trying to get his book out & cash in before this fades out of the national spotlight with the Farve name in it. Outside of Mississippi, this book is a nothingburger. In Mississippi, there are a lot of people, even politicos, who could care less about his book. The scandal and the consequences, yes, but Shad's book, no. He is trying to make hay while it still has a glimmer of national media talking about it. I hope Bryant, Farve, et al get what they deserve, but this book is just Petty Patty and Shad trying to make some money for himself while he can. I bet the Mike Robertson's Flim Flam book sells more copies than this one.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't Mississippi have a state law version of the federal Hatch Act that would cover Shad profiting personally from the works of his government office?

Anonymous said...

The book is not fiction, it’s the truth and the truth really hurts when it shows the true color of the naysayers!
If it’s a lie, then sue!!! I hear crickets!

Anonymous said...

Before you take Shad’s word on everything, I’d highly recommend listening to Mikes interview in Clays show!

Anonymous said...

Get a grip, KF - and quit being a Shad apologist.

You have no way of knowing if the investigation is over, as you say at the end of your post, covering for White. The Feds are still investigating the part that Shad didn't want to be looked at - the role of his annointer and the center of this scandal, a former Governor with a rugged head of hair.

Yes, the investigation as far as Auditor White (appointed by a former Governor with a rugged head of hair) is over; at least he wanted it to be. He took it to DA Owens (bet today he wishes he had not put that part of the story into the book, but I digress) because he wanted to keep all those on the top floor of the Sillers Bldg out of the fray and knew if the feds got involved they would continue following the blood drops until they found the wounded body.

Nice try; you'll still have your access and leaks from his office - even if you have the cajones to print this comment.

Anonymous said...

1:38 I’m with you. Shad you the man, the Big Gun! Kind of like the Trooper that would arrest his own Mama for speeding. You got my continuous vote and support Shad!

Anonymous said...

Shad should have named his book Three Blind Mice to reflect his ability to not see things he didn't want to see.

Anonymous said...

Shad is the modern version of Ray Mabus, all show and no substance. It worked for Mabus for a few years but didn't last long at all.

Anonymous said...

I see the Supertalk crowd is mad. LMAO. Shad will make out alright in the long run. It may limit some of his higher aspirations for State, but it'll blow over eventually.

Anonymous said...

Eh, I think this book'll be a wash in regards to helping/hurting Shad. Sure it'll piss off the Ol Boy Republican network, but what DOESN'T piss off the Ol Boy Republican network. They're just the mirror image of the rot in Jackson's political establishment.

^^THIS^^

Anonymous said...

All you posters here are just concerned that when the truth is finally out you will discover that the only difference between Bryant Reeves and Lumumba is one of them is black.

Anonymous said...

I've always defended him, in going after embezzlers large and small, thinking he and his staff were paying attention and possibly deterring others from dishonesty. I could cast a vote for him again in his current position. But I am highly disgusted with his arrogance and attitude and would never support him in representing Mississippi in a higher office.

Anonymous said...

Shad supporters who came here to “help” just making sh$& weird lol

Anonymous said...

Shad’s got sand.

Anonymous said...

Nice try...but you cannot paint this as some noble gesture.

Anonymous said...

If it's a lie, they should sue. They won't because it's not.

Kingfish said...

Mr. White told he his part of the investigation was over. The state cases have been fully prosecuted. I even wrote the Feds were still investigating and DHS was pursuing lawsuits to clawback the money. What part of that did you not get?

Anonymous said...

I hope the state insurance health plan covers carpel tunnel surgery; cause Shad is going to need it after responding in all of these comments.

If Shad is so HONEST, let's see how Shad answers this question, "Shad, have you asked any Lobbyist/Consultant to buy a block of books to look like sales are bustling?" I will hang up and listen.

Anonymous said...

"Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican." - Ronald Reagan's eleventh commandment. Young Shadrack is about to find out why.

Anonymous said...

So many defenders of the corrupt upper class. The aame people who were defending Nancy New as a “good Christian Woman,” no doubt. It takes balls to write a book like this. Shad takes action while the rest of our politicians (and some commenters here) do nothing. Shad is the man. Keep it up.

Anonymous said...

How to judge if this hurts Shad’s political career; See if he goes to the next Grip ‘n Grin or Irl Dean’s breakfast.

Anonymous said...

Shad may have stepped out on a limb here but time will tell if he's correct. May have been a rush to judgement involving Jody but at the same time Jody may have set this whole thing up. Bringing in the FBI to create the Opportunity for Bribery, raiding his place for a good cover?? We'll see before long-

Anonymous said...

I will vote for Shad White Evan though he is no a member of the Mississippi “good ole boy” network.

Anonymous said...

He was as of 5 min ago

Anonymous said...

Shad chill bro. All the “go Shad” rah rah commenting is pathetic. Nobody comments like that on here. They should have a giant sign saying from the auditors office.

Anonymous said...

The Hatch Act speaks to those in federally funded positions coercing or requiring subordinates to support certain political positions or candidates.

Anonymous said...

Lynch and Hurst fired back in a fury! If the book has lies about the former US Attorney for Mississippi - Hurst and the current Mississippi Attorney General -Finch let the courts vindicate! My money is on Shad! A good lawsuit will sell them books!

Anonymous said...

The subsequent US attorney had no problem prosecuting the News. Of course, he had the good sense not to meet with them privately.

Anonymous said...

I will make this very simple. Phil was at the top. Phil had the ability to get the money to people through other people. Shad will not touch Phil. Shad is an arrogant, small minded little hack. No more comments needed.

Anonymous said...

What lawyers/law firms have represented Shad individually and who paid the legal bills?

Anonymous said...

All Rs in Mississippi right now look like a monkey f'ing a football. 8 statewides and a legislative supermajority and a full three years to get real stuff done, and everyone is at each other's throats over stupid stuff. Ridiculous. The media will continue to have a field day with this. Hurst needs to figure out whether he wants to be party chair or not but he cannot use the party chair spot to run a personal fight.

Anonymous said...

WOW! That anyone would think it's better for a public servant ( yes that's what those we elect are supposed to be) to remain silent than to ever inform the public about how their tax dollars were misspent and who allowed that to happen, is shocking.
That so many of those who oppose this book ignore how their favorite politician has made money is telling. Geez... He sold memberships to a club to those hoping to "see" him for $200000. Now that figure has doubled. He and his family do not "make" anything or hire people to make products or work in their buildings. They sell their name.

Anonymous said...

Shad has pissed off too many people. Does he not realize what he has done or is he that stupid? We all know Haley pulls the strings in this state and he is holding back his anger at what this lil fella has done.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Hurst and Finch feelings are hurt! The best way to tell a story is to write a book about your experiences and get paid for the story. These young politicians have no loyalty to the ole farts like Hurst and Finch! Shad you have what it takes to go to new heights in Mississippi politics. You Biden’s ( both democrats and republicans need to move on to retirement from the public trough cause these young bucks are taking tequila shots and not that stinking ole whiskey.We ain’t doing that back room politics no mo!

Anonymous said...

to 10:08..not quiet...i got a comment.......mississippi is the only state where a state auditor , who has made huge strides toward prosecuting pubic corruption and embezzlement, be villified and criticized for doing his job and telling the truth. that only means one thing........there is a lot of public corruption and embezzlement going on in this third world country called mississippi.

Anonymous said...

@10:08pm Agreed. "The guilty dog barks the loudest."

Shad covered for Phil, and now he's howling about it all to cover his own guilt. He's a simple lawyer-politician who depends on the sheeple believing his spin on any given subject. Shad's career is all done because of one decision - to stay loyal to a corrupted governor, and he knows it. The book makes his credibility even worse.

Go Shad! Stay the Course! said...

"The 'lady' (and man) doth protest too much, methinks."

Anonymous said...

Great job aggregating the reporting that’s been done, Kingfish. Worth mentioning that Magnolia Tribune was first to report on the Ethics in Government Act, Lynn’s response and Shad’s response to the ethics’ charges. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Since Hurst is now head of the Republican Party, in Mississippi, having been fired when Biden took office, he must not have pissed in his whiskey with all the seer-sucker-britches wearing republican elite.

With his hesitancy to investigate, he gave that bunch just what they wanted.

Anonymous said...

9:17: You obviously haven't lived in Texas.

Anonymous said...

I agree ! I will continually vote for Shad White. He rocks in doing his job.

Anonymous said...

9:08
Mike is not even 50, far from an old fart

Anonymous said...

Don't think Shad has had any intention of remaining here for some time. He's fizzled politically here, and will find more lucrative jobs in Virginia. From there, he can safely, like most of our self serving affluent white critics, lob potshots at his home. Probably all depends on his parents health and well being. Then, he's goner than a Grisham or a Tartt or other favorites of the Beltway types.. Even Wall Street perhaps.

But, kids, come on. Mississippi is not even in the top 10 most corrupt states. And let's factor in Chicago, LA, NOLA, etc that outweigh our entire state. Puhleeze. Typical RINO/LiberaLtarian self loathing that makes you gullible as hell.

Anonymous said...

1:37 I know Mike is not an ole fart, sorry my bag! I got carried away.

Anonymous said...

As mentioned earlier , definitely a Ray Mabus in the making, smug

Just a normal dude said...

Instead of this being the end of Shad's political career, as some here suggest, it would be a beautiful thing if Shad ran for AG against Fitch in the republican primary. I don't get most of the past criticism against Shad, but there is no doubt that Fitch has been an awful AG. Hell, the previous AG, Hood, who had publicly stated that he wouldn't prosecute judge-bribing Scruggs "because he was like family", was a better AG than Fitch. even given his stance on Scruggs.

Anonymous said...

I agree with your assessment but I’m with Sean Tindell on the AG’s race. I think Lynn is out of a gubnatorial run

Anonymous said...

5:15, The Scruggs prosecutions were federal.

Also, I believe Hood's statement was it would be "like prosecuting a relative." I read this mean there would be a conflict of interest and he would have to recuse himself, but I could be mis-reading it.

Anonymous said...

While the investigation may appear to be over, sentencing has not yet taken place … so not really over.

Anonymous said...

Shad wrote a book to tell his story and to make money ! I don’t think he would lie and slander anyone mentioned in the book because the ones slandered could sue! I also do not think anyone would say the things in this book if it wasn’t true!
Shad is no dummy! I’m sure he thought this thing through!!! If he hurt your feelings then you don’t belong in politics! The truth hurts, especially when you are called out in the public and in print.

Anonymous said...

Shad has gone out of his way to make this entire case about Nancy New and family, and Brett Favre. He’s pretty much ignored John Davis, Phil Bryant, Christy Webb and Marcus Dupree. Phil and John controlled the purse strings and while Phil has talked some (to his detriment), John has been muzzled. Shad wants to cast stones at Mike Hurst for alleged inaction, but why did he never move on Christy Webb? She’s the only one who has plead to actually stealing funds. He’s been aggressive on Nancy and Favre, who unlike Webb are tied to Phil Bryant. It makes one wonder…..

Anonymous said...

I will admit, kinda made me wince when he publishes a book while still in office. Lots of folks do. But I dont really care for that.

Anonymous said...

OK...who the hell are you talking about? I know of no "politician operating a club charging $200,000 to see him".

Anonymous said...

3:23AM to answer your question, start with a “T” and end with a “p”, and show around some top secret government classified docs at the dinner table while you are at it

Anonymous said...

Same!!

Anonymous said...

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻


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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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