Wednesday, April 6, 2022

"I Should've Caught That"

 Former Governor Phil Bryant actually sat down with reporter Anna Wolfe for a three-hour interview about the DHS scandal, Brett Favre, Prevacus, what the Governor knew, and when he knew it.  Kudos to Ms. Wolfe for bagging the elephant.  There are some nuggets in the quiz.  Some excerpts: 

MT: So going into your last month as governor, Jake offered to bring you on with ownership into Prevacus. You said you wouldn’t be able to until January 15th.

Bryant: No, I think I said, “Let’s, talk to me about January 15th.”

MT: “Governor, can we bring you on board with ownership now?”

“Cannot until January 15th, but would love to talk then. This is the type of thing I would love to be a part of. Something that saves lives.”

Bryant: Right.

MT: So what was the difference between January 14th and January 16th? Why couldn’t you do it until—

Bryant: I think the 15th was when I was leaving office. So, I didn’t talk to anybody about anything in business until I left office. People would come up to me and say, “We want you to be a part of our business. We want you to come around board. We want you to come in and join our firm.” And I would always say, “I can’t talk to you until after I leave office. I don’t even want to talk about it.”...

So, I would love to be a part of something that saved lives, again, back to the concept of that, but not — here’s the important thing, I think the important thing: I never asked for, received, or wanted stock in that company. Never. Now, were they offering that? But people come up to you all the time and say, “Oh man, I’d like you to do this. I want you to do that.” And I try to be nice and say, “Thank you very much. We can talk about it later.” But if you notice, I didn’t take it. I turned that down. I could have, I could have said — OK, let’s say, I leave office on the 15th. Well, two weeks later I could have said, “Well transfer it,” whatever stock looks like. I’m not sure how you do that, but—

MT: Would that be appropriate?

Bryant: No, it wouldn’t be appropriate. That’s why I didn’t do it....

MT: A calendar entry from Davis’ email says that you and Favre requested the meeting with Jake and Nancy and John Davis—

Bryant: That’s not true. I don’t remember—

MT: —to discuss concussion research and the new facility at USM.

Bryant: Ok, who wrote that?

MT: John Davis. It was a calendar entry.

Bryant: I can’t help what other people write. But I would not have requested that meeting take place. Wouldn’t have gone to it. Now, could someone have told John I asked him to do that?

And that’s the other thing as governor, the number of things that people say I say or do, were astronomical. We would try to guard against it. We would literally tell people, “Now don’t go out and say I did it,” or, “Don’t go out and say I’m for it.” But they would anyway. ... 

MT: A couple of weeks after the meeting at Brett Favre’s house, between Jake and Nancy and John Davis, Jake texted you, “Governor, I’m working with Nancy New on our phase 1A funding,” among other project updates and you responded, “Great report. We will get this done.” Did you have any thoughts —

Bryant: I have no idea what that is.

MT: –about that when you saw it, or why would he be talking to you about Nancy New?

Bryant: Again, I probably were wrong in doing it, but my standard reply was that very positive response — “good,” “great” — but I did not thoroughly process that. And I should have caught it. 

Check out the rest of the long interview.  Indulge in a glass of Sazerac, some medical marijuana or a Fuentes cigar.  

Kingfish note: It's hard to believe the former Governor actually exposed himself to a three-hour interview on this subject.  


69 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, no idea why he sat for that interview. Political suicide 101. What an idiot.

Anonymous said...

It’s no fun when the rabbit has the gun, where’s the comment’s republicants?

Anonymous said...

A damned fool for doing that. He thought he was smarter than she and that he would be able to explain it away.

Anonymous said...

Not a huge fan of the former governor, but I do respect him for sitting through this painful process. Anna is good, but I HATE a "gotcha" reporter. At this point, I believe he was just enamored with a former NFL quarterback and a product that sounded promising, thinking about what he might become involved with when out of office. He was possibly used by Brett.

Anonymous said...

I agree with 4:24. Bryant should have consulted a criminal defense attorney first, but he probably thought he could handle it himself.

As for "gothca" reporting, this was not an ambush. Those were legitimate questions covering Bryant's actions as governor of the state. She didn't make him look bad; he did that all by himself. She just did her job.

Anonymous said...

Trent Lott performed the same political suicide as Phil when he appeared on BET.

Anonymous said...

Gov Phil Initially DECLINED to be interviewed.
by Anna Wolfe
April 4, 2022

Before publishing Part 1 of our five-month investigation into Bryant’s involvement Mississippi’s welfare scandal, we requested an interview with the former governor to allow him to respond to our findings.

PART 1: Phil Bryant had his sights on a payout as welfare funds flowed to Brett Favre

After initially DECLINING to discuss the investigation with Mississippi Today, Bryant gave a three-hour interview on April 2. He said there is more to the story than the text messages, which he acknowledged don’t “Look Good.” Some of what Bryant told our news organization in the interview below is contradicted by texts he sent.

Anonymous said...

I hear you 4:25pm but this is way more than a "gotcha" moment. He used his position to order the laundering of federal funds meant for welfare recipients with the hopes of getting rich. It is disgusting and he has gotten away with it in the public's eye for way too long.

Anonymous said...

Has it been asked or investigated if Phil directed MDA to provide healthcare incentives or workforce grants to this company? Hmmm?

Anonymous said...

Bless his heart.

People get locked up for being criminally stupid every day.

Even Deppity Pheel should have remembered that!

Anonymous said...

His ability to remember the contents of his text messages was really curious. Sometimes he claimed not to have any recollection of the texts existing or knowledge of what they said, even when he substantively responded to them at the time. But on other occasions, he remembered them so well that he was able to refer to portions that the reporter did not even have with her.

Interesting.

Anonymous said...

CoMe oN, dOn’T bEa RINO. OnLy RINO’s gO aFtEr feLlOw cOnSerVaTiVeS.

Anonymous said...

@5:01 No matter how hard Phil tries he will not do himself any favors at the grand jury.

No diminished capacity defense in Mississippi as far as I know!

Anonymous said...

@4;48 - very correct. This was not 'ambush reporting' as Phil's folks want to claim.

She could have run with the article as it was - well researched, documented, and I am sure checked out by their legal staff. But as a good reporter (which she is, although some of her previous reporting got tainted by her tending to add a racial component) she offered to let Phil address these questions to whatever extent he chose.

Problem was, Phil was for some reason not adequately prepared for some of the questions she asked. My bet is that he had no idea she had many of these text messages and thought he could bluff his way through as he has the rest of his political career (check out the monogram on my boots, Anna!)

The fact that he showed up on a Saturday for a three hour interview the day before the teaser was going to run says that he finally realized that this wasn't going to be good and he needed to at least attempt to quinch the fire.

Afraid though that the result is that he pitched a can of kerosene on it instead.

Part II coming to a screen near you soon.

Anonymous said...

Anna is a leftist hack.

Anonymous said...

Toward the end of this conversation, Bryant denies having control over state agency spending:

MT: Don't make decisions about state funding?
Bryant: Right
MT: About agency funding?
Bryant: Right


But if you go back in the interview when he discusses the idea that this could have been an economic development project, Bryant said he could have called MDA and told them to "put a million dollars here", or "they need a building, lets get them some money", etc. When Bryant needed the escape he used the question about why DHS and stated that he would have directed the decision about that "state agency funding".

Which one you gonna believe - your lying mouth or your other lying mouth?

Anonymous said...

And somewhere in Tchula or Iuka, Shad has his crack team getting ready to pounce on the head maintance guy who used his Fuelman to fill up his car once. A 3 hour confession from the guy who appointed him? That'd be a waste of his time.

Anonymous said...

I'm beginning to think coming up through political the ranks must be more of a pillow fight than a forge.

Once these hacks have to answer to someone who isn't kissing their asses, they just fall apart.

Anonymous said...

I’ve met Mr Davis on several occasions when he was a County Director DHS in Lincoln County (Brookhaven). He seemed to be a caring and decent person!

What happened when he became State Director of DHS, I have no idea!

I’ll bet $20 that John did nothing without the boss knowledge!

I just hope he doesn’t lay down and take that rap. Even if it was wrong, I can’t see him doing anything without approval!

He seemed timid/weak the times I had interactions with him.


Anonymous said...

Phil is certainly more guilty than Favre or the doctor. At least they said multiple times “if legal”. A sitting Governor has access to all the legal help in the world for free. They all look like dopes, but New is the crook. She wanted to make all dreams come true.

Unknown said...



I heard Phil speak at an event where he stated all he ever wanted to be in life was a deputy sheriff. I thought after hearing that then and reading his explanation of events and text deputy sheriff should have been his ceiling for a job.

Anonymous said...

Phil and Deb took every chance to take pictures with Nancy New and be on tv or in the paper! They were her biggest cheerleader!! UNTIL.... she was used as the scapegoat for their greed. They destroyed her and John Davis and soo many others. They have lied and cheated the people of Mississippi.
It is clear to see that Shad White had a part in this and covered for Phil and helped cover up his part!!
this whole thing is disgusting and sad!
There is a special place in Hell for Phil Bryant!!

Anonymous said...

I'll give Gov. Bryant credit for agreeing to do the interview & confront his accuser. It would have been much worse to say "no comment," in which case you're automatically judge guilty in the public's eye. He's right, this doesn't look good, but it's better to offer your perspective & acknowledge you could & should have done much better. It's the only hope he has, given his own texts.

Anonymous said...

Phil's got nothing to lose with the barbarians (i.e. Feds) at his gates.

I wouldn't be surprised if Shad himself has said to him, "Phil, I did all I could. It's out of my hands now. You might want to get out ahead of this by beating the press to the punch."

There's just no other rational reason to do that interview at this point.

Imagine being Feels criminal defense attorney said...

He was ambushed alright.

He ambushed himself with his overestimation of his own brilliance.

Anonymous said...

I'm a conservative. I believe in right and wrong. I (along with many others) suspected Phil was crooked but had no proof. I think the proof is going to come out.

Nail his ass to the wall. Favre, Nancy New... nail their asses to the wall.

Corruption is unacceptable.

It won't stop until the tempted agree the risk is greater than the payoff.

Anonymous said...

I recall when Phil pulled the plug on the pediatric palliative care facility in West Jackson at the old Calvary church because "his consultants" told him how cost prohibitive it was, only to award a much bigger contract in NE Jackson for a similar facility that would bear his wife's name. This is after the folks at Calvary had been working on this project for decade. This article will make you sick when it alludes that the NE Jackson facility was all Deborah's brain child, when people had been working on it since the Barbour years. I have to assume their friend Miss New directed some funds to this project that will bear the Bryant name forever.
https://www.ebdarch.com/blog/2019/12/11/groundbreaking-mississippi-center-for-medically-fragile-children

Anonymous said...

Who do you look at when all hell breaks loose in Mississippi Government, the Governor! Who appoints Agency Heads? The Governor! Who approves million dollar handouts, the Governor!

This shit ain’t rocket science!

Who gets thrown under the bus? The Agency Director!

That shit ain’t right!

Do you really think all the monies in question were given out without the Governor’s approval???

If so, why didn’t you get any?

Anonymous said...

Either Shad takes Bryant down, or Shad's political career is over. There is no middle ground. Of course, he could always host Howdy Doody Time on cable.

Anonymous said...

This is the guy we are counting on to bring the former governor to justice. Won't happen.

https://www.google.com/search?q=pee+wee+herman&rlz=1C1GCEU_enUS889US890&sxsrf=APq-WBtATdd3CJxz-ansiZdYHElWnvlHgA:1649292408547&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjs_pCB3YD3AhUylWoFHeJeCB8Q_AUoAXoECAIQAw&biw=1280&bih=577&dpr=1.5

Anonymous said...

7:29 with the history lesson. This got about 60 seconds of fame, but I recall it sounded bizarre at the time. In light of the Nancy New stuff, it sounds par for the course. Too many things don't add up. Kill a deal that's been in the works for 10 years and then magically announce a new thing named after your wife that costs twice as much. That's what we call republicanism. I hope Shad or the FBI is reading this blog.

https://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/politics/2018/01/24/mississippis-sickest-children-could-get-new-home-jackson-but-where/1058498001/

Anonymous said...

He knows that he is "too big to fail." That's Mississippi good ol' boy immunity.

Anonymous said...

@ 7:29…..Nancy New was the only one fighting for your palliative care project. The Bryant’s hijacked that and sold it to Palladium, a higher bidder, who Bryant Songy Snell currently represents. Deborah Bryant drove the train. Focus your blame elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Nancy was used and set up to take the fall from day 1. I’m hoping she’s about to help expose and burn them all!

Anonymous said...

Additional commentary- someone else seems a little skeptical:

Brett Favre And Former MS Gov Phil Bryant Never Heard Of The Stringer Bell Rule, And It Shows!
Are you takin' notes on the criminal f*ckin' conspiracy?
By Liz Dye on April 4, 2022 at 6:18 PM

“I just simply did not carefully look at those texts and realize the intent in them,” Bryant told MT. “And I know that’s hard to believe and I know people read it and say, ‘Well, of course he knew,’ but I’m telling you, I just did not realize the details within those texts.”

That’s right, he just responded to those texts without reading them. That’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

So when Favre texted the governor in 2018 “It’s 3rd and long and we need you to make it happen!!” and Bryant responded “I will open a hole,” the sitting governor wasn’t promising help to secure FDA approval for a concussion treatment drug Favre had invested in. He was just, you know, talking sports. The fact that Favre’s company got $1.7 million from state welfare officials a week later was entirely coincidental.


https://abovethelaw.com/2022/04/brett-favre-and-former-ms-gov-phil-bryant-never-heard-of-the-stringer-bell-rule-and-it-shows/



Anonymous said...

I’m shocked and appalled. I must commend my fellow conservative blog readers. You have shocked me tonight. Salud…

Anonymous said...

@7:47pm. GOAT

Anonymous said...

Are there any good criminal defense attorneys on staff at Bryant Songy Smell Global Partners LLC? Asking for a friend!

Anonymous said...

Regarding the palliative care project, this is a better read. It was one of the first Bryant moves that left everybody scratching their heads. Whether New was involved or not, it left everybody involved with a slimy feeling about Bryant, Bryant and Songy. He and She lied their asses off about how the project was conceived and the church called them out on it. Sweetheart deals all around.


https://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/politics/2018/01/24/mississippis-sickest-children-could-get-new-home-jackson-but-where/1058498001/

Anonymous said...

Why has Shad White sat on these details about Phil Bryant and Brett Favre for so long? He said Phil was the Whistleblower which appears to be total laughable BS now. Inquiring minds want to know!

Henry Kissinger said...

" If it’s going to come out eventually, better have it come out immediately."

Anonymous said...

Feel will be in a wheelchair tapping a little bell before this is over...

Anonymous said...

... that left everybody scratching their heads.

... it left everybody involved with a slimy feeling ...

Who is everybody? How do you know?

Seriously doubt you're an insider.

Anonymous said...

Either Shad takes Bryant down, or Shad's political career is over. There is no middle ground.

Sure, whatever you say. You've got your finger on the Mississippi pulse.

Anonymous said...

I must commend my fellow conservative blog readers. You have shocked me tonight. Salud…

We're all sooooo happy that you are happy. Pat yourself on the back and complete the circuit.

Anonymous said...

Scam gives a whole new meaning to "Favre rates"......

Anonymous said...

Yep, young Shad is just another right wing political opportunist!

Anonymous said...

If PHil was a Dem, this thread would be smoking with activity and probably set an all time record for comments from brain washed conservatives that can only speak in the language of FOX.

Anonymous said...

If you read the article, Nancey New was 100% involved and not just a pawn. Remember she signed a personal contract that would have benefited her alone with the medical company (albeit with fed funds ).

Anonymous said...

And the AG continues to try and protect political cronies, provide political cover and derail DHS's civil suit to recover the pilfered funds. Lots of other fish out there running for cover. Ever heard of Lobaki?

Uncle Feel said...

"I'm dumb, I wear cowboy boots, I holler yee-haw from a coliseum buckboard and I gave you Cindy Hyde-Bryant-Smith and the Cowboy Hat. I hunt clip-winged quail up at Louisville and got me a thousand hunting acres named after me. And I should have consulted with counsel before jumping on this interview. Yep, shoulda hired a lawyer. And not my daughter. A real lawyer."

Anonymous said...

Lobaki? That's a tech startup that Innovate keeps promoting and bragging about. What in the world did they do wrong?

Anonymous said...

Looks like Songy spent some time on here this morning cleaning up.

Anonymous said...

If PHil was a Dem, this thread would be smoking with activity ...

If you weren't a troll you might start your own gig and compete with Kingfish in the marketplace to determine who would draw a wider and larger audience.

Anonymous said...

@8:51 there's no signed personal contract between the News and the medical company. There never has been. They've never owned stock in that company. That's been a lie from Day 1.

Anonymous said...

Here's another dot to connect:

As soon as the kitchen-heat got warmer and the shit got closer to the fan in regards to the girls' volleyball money spent at Southern Miss (Both Bryants' and Favre's almer-tomahto), a certain college president resigns.

Oh, but that was a month ago. Right. That's when the kitchen door opened and the heat came out. And his resignation isn't yet effective. Right...but it's been announced at just the right time.

But you can't jump on a college president who happens to be black. Oh, really? Every other player in this money laundering scheme is white...why not add a little diversity? The college president knew damned well this expenditure did not meet the purposes intended to help welfare recipients. But, a governor, a first lady and the schools most famous alum all said, "Hey, no problem". Right.

Anonymous said...

@6:44 PM
Your definition of a crook is odd : Keeping your two bosses happy by doing what they “ask” you to do (or there’ll be no funding) does not a crook make.

Anonymous said...

Not the whistleblower. How can people still believe this?

Anonymous said...

Elaborate on Lobaki. See Brett appeared on their Facebook page in 2020.

Anonymous said...

The college president announced he would be leaving when his current contract ends June 30, 2023, or sooner if he finds a new professional opportunity. Word on the (Hardy) street is the college president was told he would not be receiving a contract extension. Interesting to speculate if the volleyball facility funding situation contributed to IHL's decision not to retain him as president. The athletic department's leadership has changed since VolleyballGate was initiated so no one there to take the fall.

Anonymous said...

Anyone interested can google for info about Lobaki. There's a lot to see!

Just add a name or two:

"Lobaki"+"Lumumba" gets you the press release for Jackson partnering with Lobaki in some way to help fix or replace the City of Jackon's decrepit Russell C. Davis Planetarim.

"Lobaki"+"Bryant" gets a video with Phil the Whistleblower looking goofy in a VR headset! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZW_Uns7XEjk

"Lobaki"+"Mississippi Development Authority" gets you (among other things) a press release where Phil's former head of MDA joins the board of Lobaki. https://www.innovate.ms/lobaki-adds-glenn-mccullough-jr-to-board-of-directors/. Could it be that this helped grease a new contract with MDA in 2021 for VR Trade Show something something? From PEER: https://www.peer.ms.gov/Reports/reports/rpt666.pdf

Only $16,250, that kind of money falls out of Mississippi MDA's pockets every day just getting out of bed in the AM!

Lobaki Contract
Per MDA staff, local convention and visitor bureau leaders expressed
interest in utilizing virtual reality for trade shows to showcase their
communities to group tour operators and tourism professionals in the
United States and other countries. Due to Vicksburg’s popularity with
international travelers, Visit Mississippi has chosen to test the concept
in Vicksburg, and in August 2020, MDA signed a contract with Jackson-
based company, Lobaki, for a 20-minute 360 virtual reality (VR) video
experience. Visit Vicksburg worked with Lobaki to match video ideas
with marketing efforts surrounding ideas such as arts and antiques, civil
war history, and adventure.
According to MDA staff, MDA has not received the video due to Lobaki
experiencing personnel issues. However, Lobaki has indicated those
issues have been resolved, and they are working on the project. As
required by the contract, MDA has partially paid for the completed
portions of the video.



ASKED FIRST RIGHT HERE AT JJ:

Can the defendants plead out after they are charged and get sentenced to house arrest with 40 hrs a week of Paqchmann VR? That way they can do their time, still attend church on Sundays and help keep Mississippi Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

In his interview, "Papa" Bryant keeps telling Anna Wolfe that he "had such faith in the controls within government." What total horseshit!

DHS had been cited year after year by the Auditor's Office, well before Shad White got there. DHS was known for years to be a train wreck and nothing was ever done about it. Take a look also at CPS, Medicaid and oh let's not forget MDOC. Phil is a lying POS who has finally been exposed.

Anonymous said...

10:56 Like a typical tinfoil hat wearing conservative, you only want to interact with people that also only speak FOX. That is known as inbreeding. It does wonders for the intellect of the community.

Anonymous said...

@7:31. Are you really asking why Shad White would “sit on all this information “ for over two years? It's plain as day, when he came out all guns blazing without even basic investigation, he was hiding someone very important and thought the News would simply roll over. Not so fast, ......things are not always as they seem at first.

Anonymous said...

Did "the Debra" ever find her AR-15?

Anonymous said...

Hopefully Phil is made to repay every dime he stole and spend the rest of his pathetic life in prison. What a thug POS loser.

Anonymous said...

Aww, these folks'll be lining up to vote for the "fear, fascist, fraud" party at the next election, despite all this. That's just Mississippi. All any fraudster's gotta do is scream "librul!!!"

Anonymous said...

Looks like Phil’s brilliant daughter would have advised against that self-incriminating interview. I mean she was such an exceptional lawyer right out of law school that the Madison County Supes hired her before the ink on her diploma was dry. Perhaps a little look-see is in order in regard to that transaction too. Or maybe everybody is confident that Shad will put party above ethics and all of this will just fade away as usual.

Anonymous said...

Well, it's about time someone finally started connecting the dots. Shad White had this information and chose not to make it public. Nancy and Zach New were indeed the scapegoats and were having to take the fall for what was put into motion by Phil Bryant via John Davis. There are a lot of dirty fingers in this pie but Nancy and Zach New are not the crooks.


Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.