Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba issued the following statement.
Saturday, February 1, 2020
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
35 comments:
After watching the channel 16 news last night, there is so much raw sewage running in the streets of Jackson, he better be worrying about a nasty outbreak of some virus in "his city".
Please tell me this is a joke. With all issues facing Jackson, our mayor is trying to “save” China.
The captain of the Titanic concerned that we help the poor endangered polar bears. We stand ready to help.
any press release on the downtown shooting? you know, something that actually happened in jackson?
It can start with people washing their hands. Always shocks me how many people walk out of the bathroom without washing their hands. You nasty!
Bless his heart.....
Think he is waaaayyy behind the 8 ball on preventing the spread in China, may want to hang on to the supplies to help prevent the spread here
Hahahaha. Our Mayor is a genius!
I work in the medical field. I looked at our masks and gloves.
ALL of them were made in China.
Hahahaha!!!
@10:46
You are absolutely correct. Open sewers is just asking for trouble.
I'm sure Mayor Lumumba will find some way to blame white flight if a dozen or so third world diseases that still kill millions in Africa, suddenly appear in Jackson due to a failure in the standards created to combat such diseases.
His over usage of the word "that" shows how uneducated whoever wrote this letter is. I would say what an idiot but there you go.
Code Words "medical partners gather supplies"
GIVE ME, GIVE ME, GIVE ME
Not every post about Mayor Lumumba is an opportunity for you hate filled racists to attack him.
There is genuine fear in the Jackson Metro about Coronavirus.
There are hundreds of Chinese living in the metro. They rightfully fear racism due to this nation's history of racism.
What is wrong with the mayor addressing the issue?
What measures have the Mayors of Brandon, Flowood, Pearl, or even Clinton taken to address the fear of the population?
I'm only hearing crickets.
Dear Political Hack and Moron: The masks are made in China. You're depriving infants, the elderly, and other immune suppressed Mississippians and their caregivers of protective supplies during flu season. Your stupid political pandering is harmful.
At best, it's pointless as they'll be sold off by thugs to panicked stupid people and are never going to reach the ill in Wuhan.
The masks are not really very effective on this anyway, and the only need for them is if you are handling a patient or suspect patient, and then only within 6 feet. This ain't FMD or measles that will travel airborne longer distances, or some magic Ooogah Boogah movie-science thing that comes from outerspace.
Signed, Exasperated Mississippi
Don't effing kill a sick kid, Grandma, or a cancer patient because you're stupid, Mayor Moron. You are too stupid to realize Asians will wear masks on regular occasions because sneezing on a subway car without one is like farting on national TV. They don't need them anymore than we need them, in most cases.
But at least they have a reasonable proximity to a small set of actually infected people and it will keep a ring closed.
We need them here for flu, for newborns, chemo patients, and those on immunosuppressants for a variety of illnesses. So, now, you'll encourage idiots to run out and clean out Walgreens over nothing. Idiot.
Worried about coronavirus in the STD Capitol of the country-
@10:50 AM - it makes sense when you consider that China is a COMMUNIST country.
Oh mayor, IT IS NOT A PANDEMIC!
And how about fixing your own damn problems in Jackson?
Some the get this straight, he wants us to gather up masks to put on a slow boat to China. Those would be the masks that came here in a slow boat from China.
The problem is not that China doesn't have enough masks. It's that they don't have enough masks in the places that they are needed because their transportation network is geared for export not in filling the needs of their citizens.
Because Communism.
Sending more masks to clog up their ports will not help them. But perhaps that is a good reason to do it.
Arrogant deflecting ass. As folks say, shootings, sewerage problems, flooding, etc yet China with Coronavirus is top priority. I repeat, arrogant ass. Anyone knows Coronavirus came from a brewery in Mexico. Just kidding about the Mexico aspect wheel chock.
I'm an ortho physician and I live in NE Jackson also I voted for this clownshow we call a mayor. I'm so sick of him and his priorities that mean absolutely nothing for our local community
@12:11- You do realize he’s requesting donations to ship to China, right??
How does shipping products “made in China” (do you know the costs to do this!) back to China (I won’t even TOUCH the costs already incurred importing, but will let you ponder depleting our medical resources if they WERE actually needed) addressing the “genuine fear” in Jackson?
The truth is you didn’t read this letter. You just jumped into defense mode for a mayor who WASTED time, resources, and tax-payer dollars typing this letter and releasing it to the media. Jackson has 999 problems today... and, this virus ain’t one of them!
Has he not seen anything on TV? The only way to avoid breathing the virus is with a class of respirator only those in the medical community have. Surgical masks are useless for airborne viruses....including flu. It can keep droplets and phlegm from flying but not the virus. How could the supplies even reach people....and if PRC is refusing to let our CDC staff into the country to help, what makes anyone think they would accept supplies...much less give them to the masses? Surely, someone put this out without his knowledge? No one could be that dumb.
This letter is so embarrassing I almost feel sorry for this mayor. Deep down he thinks he is a globalist. Over the past twenty years or so the bar for management in this city has plummeted! I guess a large segment of the voters must be ok with the way things are going so I say continue on.
I'm sure if masks were needed in China that would have been addressed at the federal level. No need for a third world country's leader to suggest local 'partners' answer a non-existent need.
So much could be said about the opening line, "It has come to my attention...".
I'll start with: "As busy as I am, one of my servants has just brought me word of...."
Alright 12:11, I'll bite on this one.
"There is genuine fear in the Jackson Metro about Coronavirus."
OK, so sending the preventive resources away, that you need HERE to help prevent it from spreading HERE does not help. It has spreading through China and since they make the items there, they should already have them.
"There are hundreds of Chinese living in the metro. They rightfully fear racism due to this nation's history of racism."
WHAT. THE. HELL. DOES. THAT. EVEN. HAVE. TO. DO. WITH. ANYTHING. BROUGHT. UP. IN. THIS. POST.
Can you not go one argument without using the hot button "Racism" route?
"What is wrong with the mayor addressing the issue?"
What is wrong is the Mayor wasting valuable time and resources making this statement, instead of working on issues that he could actually make a difference on. Jackson's problems (crime, sewers, homeless population, roads, etc) are spreading faster than the Coronavirus. He couldn't make a dent in helping out China.
"What measures have the Mayors of Brandon, Flowood, Pearl, or even Clinton taken to address the fear of the population?"
None. Because this Mayor is using it as a diversion tactic. It has spread, it doesn't matter how many boxes of medical masks the mayor collects for China, it is here in the U.S. already.
"I'm only hearing crickets."
But you are missing the eye rolling. Unfortunately, the Mayor seems to be all show and no substance. He has been in office for years now, and I can't think of anything substantial he has done for the betterment of Jackson citizens or businesses.
This guy just likes to sign his name on stuff
Ole Chuck and his new world order has once again embarrassed the city. Please tell me one of his family staff wrote this without his approval. Where do we need to start. The zoo, dead bodies everywhere, crumbling infrastructure? Can’t wait for Kenny to publish his man crush remarks. And please tell me one think Chuck has done to help our medical community he brags about. It is the best, but gets no credit for it. Now it’s the boy who cried wolf to scream racism.
Worried about coronavirus in the STD Capitol of the country
He’s worried about problems in a fraternal COMMUNIST enclave.
This guy is genuine freaking nut job. This is what you wanted Jackson, now you’ve got it.
@12:11
As a resident of Jackson I can assure you that this post of baby chokwe has nothing to do with racism... I went to private school with chokwe and I've known him for over 20 years. Also only racist people could point to racism on such a posting as this one. As a citizen of northeast Jackson I can tell you that people are tired of his garbage agenda color aside. Get lost or better educate yourself on issues that way race won't be your excuse for everything in life. Your lack of knowledge of the big picture is what has handicapped you.
12:11 PM, that is only the sound of the two BB's rolling around in the echo chamber between your ears you're hearing.
What Chokewad should be addressing is the possibility of the ever presence of airborne lead poisoning in Jackson and the open sewers in his dimocRAT utopia.
He isn't doing anything about the virus. He is being a talking head to get his weekly TV time. Next, expect to hear from Michael Moore's brother from a different momma Kennuf Stokes.
As far as the surrounding cities, well their city clerks are so far ahead of Chokewad its funny. All I can say for citizens is "Embrace the Suck"!
@ 7:43. "This guy is genuine freaking nut job. This is what you wanted Jackson, now you’ve got it". He will be back again and again. The folks in Jackson know no better and do exactly what they are told to do. My friend, one of the handlers, told me this.
Eehh what a maroon.
This funnier than a Sunday afternoon Stokes' presser.
Anyone that wants to run for Mayor, this letter is all you need. This city can not even repair a water line break and properly backfill and compact said backfill in a hole.....as a result of aforementioned inabilities, we then incur the cost of patching that hole multiple times, in a month, and probably also incurring the cost of repairs to damaged vehicles. This has to be the single most stupid thing I have seen from this mayor, and that is saying a lot
This has aged really well.
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