There is a map of New Orleans on Judgmentalmaps.com. It would be fun to create one for Jackson soooo..... since I am slowed down a little bit, you guys are welcome to make suggestions for such a map in comments or emails. Have some fun. See below for an example.
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I've been back to the city once, just after Katrina. But I went to Tulane (most miserable days of my life, and it wasn't just the Yankee guttersnipes I went to school with: the city is an IMPOSSIBLE place to live, if you have goals in life other than being drunk and wasting time - and that's BEFORE you factor-in the crime).
Anyway, the map shows the city EXACTLY as it was pre-Katrina. I assume the "Nice!!!" over on the West Bank is English Turn. What a brilliant idea! And it's actually much more informative than any other map or guidebook I've ever seen.
The "Not as old money" (if I've got my bearings) refers to the lakefront homes of Mafiosi (the ones who haven't moved "ta da Nawt Shoh".
Oh, and "Scary place" is precisely that. And if you've ever taken an exit where it says "dead bodies dumped here" or "more bodies", you'll see why they're the preferred spots for dropping off the bodies in da trunk udduh Townkoh.
I mean create a map for Jackson. Rename parts of the area in similar fashion.
Sorry, just commenting on the wonderfulness of the New Orleans map. The Jackson map should be really fun to do.
I'll start with the RAPE'-n'-GO GAS STATION in West Jackson (where the poor lady got gang-raped, and the man behind the counter wouldn't even call police for her).
BIG LABELS: Madison County: 'Rednecks'; Rankin County: 'White Trash'; and Jackson, of course:'Blacks'. Really, at a glance, the Jackson Metro should offer those three main choices: Rednecks, White Trash, and Blacks.
Then, you can subdivide, and have a 'Black Aristocracy' label for Hanging Moss Road, and 'Old Black Money' for Pecan Park, maybe.
'Swingers', of course, for the Yacht Club and for Reunion. With maybe a pineapple graphic... (and if centers for each of the many swinger cliques in the metro can be identified, I think that labels such as "Rich Geriatric Swingers", "Pineapple Cult Swingers", "Affluent Middle-aged Swingers", "Starter-home Swingers", "Elite Reservoir Bodybuilder Swing Group", "Trailer Park Swingers", "Fratrat/Suzie Swingers"... that would be something New Orleans' map doesn't have.
'Fake Old Money' for Eastover. 'Old Fake Money' for Country Club of Jackson.
Madison can be labeled 'Switzerland' (I swear, there's a fancy new bank on every street corner), while Canton can be labeled 'Haiti'
Lost Rabbit can be 'Edge of the Known World', with sea monsters from medieval maps depicted in the Rez.
Other labels like 'Trailer Parks', 'Bad Trailer Parks', and 'Really Bad Trailer Parks'.
And how to cleverly (and with fewer words) indicate that an area would have been a nucleus for a community Jackson doesn't really have? ("If we had any Old Money, they'd live HERE", or "Gays would live here, if there WERE any.", or "This once had potential for becoming a thriving Jewish neighborhood", or "Intellectuals would live here, in Belhaven") Or amenities Jackson used to have (movie theatres...).
But that New Orleans map is brilliant, and it's going to take a lot of thought...
Madison city hall: no democrats allowed
St. Catherine's....photography studio
Trace grill....best baby back ribs in the state
Ross Barnett...muddy pond
Downtown jackson...Detroit wannabes.
Ben aliens office....propaganda from a pro jackson cheerleader
Meadowbrook to Northside from 55 to the river is White Island.
Clinton - closet Baptist gays
Reservoir - supposedly a resort area, but mainly rednecks who got tired of drinking wine coolers at their Mexican restaurants
Pearl - trailer parks and a world class resort destination
Brandon - Jesus freaks who are scared of black people
Midtown - made up district for hipsters and apologetic white people
Fondren - artsy fartsy (including the gays) and on the edge of the ghetto
Belhaven - historic houses with terrible foundations and public roads riddled with begging bums
Downtown - wasteland of businesses no more and the Capitol Street River
County Line Road - newer wasteland of businesses on one side and the barrio on the other.
Ridgeland - from County Line to Lake Harbor - Little Mexico
Highland Colony - Towards Jackson - wasteland that attracts no developers - Towards Madison - overpriced colony where you can live, drink, and play
Flowood - Chain restaurants for the rednecks that move here from the north part of MS. Also, supposedly a resort area.
Madison - inflated property values due to poor leadership to the south and north
Richland - wish we were livin right, but just rednecks and trailers trash
Florence - more high class rednecks and trailer trash
Eastover - old money trying to hang on for dear life
Leftover - close enough to Eastover to be safe - maybe
Lake Trace / Pear Orchard / Northtown - specimen for studying white flight
Fondren - hipsters/artist
Belhaven - self-affirmed intellectuals
Eastover - 'mo money, 'mo problems
NE Jxn - use'ta'coulds
County Line - restaurant graveyard
Renaissance - little Sunset Blvd
Madison the City - "NOT UP IN HERE", brick mason's pipe dream, nary a cell tower
Brandon - Good ole boys
Rez - My boat's worth more than my house
Jackson overall should be labeled Fem-O-Cratville, then sub-divided into People on parole, people on trial, people on the lamb, career criminals, wanna be criminals, rapist, muggers, home invaders, car jackers, shoplifters, robbers(armed and un-armed), scammers, crooked politicians, people who wear cartoon clothes and have made up names like Abdullah Lallapalooza,
Madison- Redneck Riviera of Madison County.
Martin Luther King Dr.- Gateway to Jackson.
Bailey Ave.- Zoo Keeper.
West Jackson- Drug Mall.
Just label the whole thing "THE CITY THAT SHOOTS DOGS."
http://www.msnewsnow.com/story/26630764/like-snipers-neighbors-describe-animal-control-killing-dogs
The gas station rape incident was in SOUTH Jackson, so make sure to correct before labeling! But yeah, most of these suggestions sound on point, with of course a lot of humor involved so don't take them seriously, no one is making fun of anyone's lifestyle. But as for as Jackson the City goes, I think it should be divided into North Jackson (which would include Northwest & Northeast, Fondren, Meadowbrook, Broadmoore), East Jackson (Eastover, Leftover), West Jackson (West Capitol, Bailey Ave, I-220, Clinton Blvd), South Jackson (Terry Rd, Highway 80, McDowell Rd, Daniel Lake Blvd), and the Downtown area (East Capitol St, Amite St, Pearl St, Pascagoula St). As for the suburbs like Ridgeland, Madison, Clinton, Brandon, Flowood, Richland, & Florence, those are small enough to where we don't have to divide those up any.
Oh, there are a LOT more names for neighborhoods just within the Jackson city limits. This'll be fun when I have a little time to work on it. I'll leave the surrounding areas to others...
Clinton - Mayberry gays
Reservoir - redneck haven
Pearl - white trash and proud of it.
Brandon - Jesusland
Midtown - we got away from Jesusland
Fondren - coexist
Belhaven - Cognitive dissonance
Downtown - don't tell me there is no hope at all
County Line Road - big box blight
Ridgeland - from County Line to Lake Harbor - the melting pot
Highland Colony - Towards Jackson - Underground Railroad of drugs - Towards Madison - Corporate welfare
Flowood - our kids get the best drugs
Madison - reverse mortgages coming soon!
Richland - white flight hwy
Florence - bubba land
Eastover- the Jackistocracy
Leftover - underlings of the Jackistocracy
Lake Trace / Pear Orchard / Northtown - now what happened here?
South Jackson - Hood rats and bullet casings
West jackson - hit the deck!
N. State street - dont cross the train tracks!
lower Rankin Co.- Ex-South Jackson Middle Class, now we live in South Jackson East
why the hate to Clinton Baptists? we have so many fabulous baptist churches that are just spectacular! snap!
there's also a few 'other' churches out here that see right through it..
8:41: Eric Stringfellow's daughter in law works at Madison City Hall. You can bet your sweet ass she's a democrat. But, you could change that to: Madison City Hall ~ We actually screen resumes.
Be sure to label I-55 as a black motor speedway. Not sure if anyone has noticed, but Sunday afternoons on 55 north have become suped up crotch rocket and import shitbox speedway. Pretty sure there are several all black clubs in town that race around 20,220,55 for sport. Almost was rear ended again. Where are the cops? Fuck Jackastan.
Excellent addition to the map, 8:26! People need to know that it's becoming dangerous to simply drive THROUGH Jackson... on the Interstate.
Last year, I think it was during the State Fair, I was nearly rear-ended by SEVERAL of the sort of cars you described - within maybe a minute. Considering that they all sounded alike, and were modified in the same manner, and all traveling easily in excess of 100, I would assume they were racing - weaving around other cars in early-nighttime traffic.
And those 'Crotch Rockets' seem to come out of nowhere. If only one loses control, then a deadly Interstate pileup would be pretty-much inevitable.
If you can't even drive through Jackson or Birmingham or Chattanooga without being endangered, then maybe the entire REGION is becoming too dangerous for reasonable people.
So, YEAH! Let's label Jackson's major thoroughfares appropriately.
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