Went to the a forum at the Jackson Medical Mall last night for the Jackson mayoral candidates. More will be posted later but here is a sneak preview at the um, Hemp candidate. All she could talk about was hemp and when she wasn't talking about hemp, she was talking about meditation. See for yourself.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
The Hemp Candidate
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
27 comments:
Oh....like dude.....so groovy. Chill.
While she's certainly got the wrong forum (I don't know who she is, so I'm excluding the meditation information from my comment), hemp is controversial only among science phobic people. Otherwise known as Theocratic Republicans.
Jackson a destination city + Jackson a hemp capital = Jackson the drug capital. Political dialogue is always shadow of reality.
Jackson needs a middle class population that is not tied to the school district or public employment.
In short, we need legalized marijuana that can be produced and marketed by the unskilled and dependent class here in the 'destination city'. The hemp lady is correct. It might just be the 'path to citizenship' our alienated youth desperately need.
Good gravy, people. Hemp is not psychoactive cannabis. Maybe she meant cannabis with psychoactive Delta 9-but maybe, maybe she meant HEMP.
Ignorance - Mississippi's number 1 export.
Actually, she lost ME at Ajiculcha.
Lost me at Ajiculcha, too.....pretty sure it is near Apalachicola.
Jackson is so fucked...
Hemp bread! Hemp fabric! Who knew this under-cultivated crop was so versatile? And as Madame Candidate assures us, "it is not marijuana!" Oh, with visionaries like her, can a Golden Age for Mississippi be far off? Now, if only hemp could be made into something that increases fertility, and improves young people's sex drives, perhaps our state can move up from its mere #2 spot in repeat-birth rates for teen babymamas.
I remember swinging on giant hemp ropes in the gym in high school. Maybe it could be cultivated here and processed into dreads. Talk about a market!
Forget hemp....maybe we could do something with kudzu....no planting required, just harvest the stuff.
Wish you would have recorded the part where our "mayor" said he was going to make Jackson a destination city. WTF has he done for 12 years in office to promote ANYTHING?
Jackson is a destination city. People delivering pounds of hemp's sister arrive from Atlanta everyday.
How did those 2 guys keep a straight face??? Her dreads looked suspiciously like hemp....kinda close to the brain.
Now, if only hemp could be made into something that increases fertility, and improves young people's sex drives, perhaps our state can move up from its mere #2 spot in repeat-birth rates for teen babymamas.
Don't worry Mississippi ignorance fueled by oppressive religion and and abstinence only education will get you there in no time at all.
Jackson a destination? Right. If you would like to visit Mogadishu but can't afford the airfare, then Jackson would be an ideal destination for you.
Poor woman. She'll be crucified by the ignorant for the sin of being informed regarding the benefits of growing this highly useful plant. Hilarious - and telling - to read how many knee-jerk responses there are from people who clearly have no idea that there's a difference between the psychoactive marijuana and hemp, a harmless agricultural product. Not growing hemp makes about as much sense as not allowing people to eat portabello mushrooms because a couple of other kinds of mushrooms are psychoactive. If you do just a tiny bit of research, you'll discover that growing hemp is as American as apple pie. Founding father George Washington grew it as one of his three cash-producing crops. She's completely right: We'd be incredibly prosperous if we grew hemp, but as long as there is ignorance regarding this topic (and many others here) then we'll never move ahead.
Ignorant racists of Mississippi were did you go did it get to intelligent in here for you?
Ignorant racists of Mississippi were did you go did it get to intelligent in here?
1:38 and 1:43 please read what you wrote. Did you take English grammar and if so, please do tell where?
I will GUARANTEE you that you are observing a public school education.
I thought hemp was the same botanical species as Marijuana minus THC. if so there could be certain confusion in the legislative writing of such law.
Dear Gawd. This thread is a wonderfully accurate picture of ignorance in Mississippi. Yes, she is nuts for making a mayoral candidacy her forum for such ideas.
HOWEVER, in proper context, hemp IS a profitable agricultural product. And it is NOT psychoactive cannabis.
You know, people from other states can read this shit too, so if you're going to make some ill informed comment, please note whethere you voted for Mahmoud Bryant and his Mullah crew.
What's the difference between hemp and marijuana?
Marijuana and hemp are different varieties of the same species of plant, Cannabis sativa L. There are different varieties of Cannabis, just as Chihuahuas and wolves are different breeds of Canis lupus. They are scientifically different and cultivated in different ways.
Source: The Cap Times
Could she be Jackson's version of Memphis's Prince Mongo? http://youtu.be/4DmTOY7sXy0
Perhaps some of you should talk to those who are involved with the IBC or Mississippi Marathon or the parades or other events.
The increasing numbers who come think our city is beautiful, our food is outstanding, our music, and art exceptional and they, thankfully get to see the best of our hospitality rather than meet those whose ignorance, and negative attitudes reinforce our national negative image.
They come far more concerned about gun toting, hostile rednecks and encountering gross incompetence than about anything else!
Our national negative image is a Mississippi image not a Jackson image and it's thanks to ignorance and racism.
Every place has crime. Every place has minorities and poverty. Every place has greedy, incompetent, embarrassing politicians. It's not "them", it's " you". Get out of your provincial bubble and grow up!
April 4, 2013 at 7:17 AM ... YAWN
"They come far more concerned about gun toting, hostile rednecks "
So, it was "rednecks" who gave Jacktown the highest per capita murder rate in the country?
Name two of those rednecks, please (bonus points if you remember the Rankin Co klansman type who pled guilty recently used a truck to murder his victim, not a gun).
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