Friday, April 12, 2013

Cave-in or smart politics?

The Clarion-Ledger reported Senator Wicker voted to end a filibuster on the President's gun control bill:

"U.S. Sen. Roger Wicker was one of 16 Republicans on Thursday who voted to end the filibuster of a gun control bill and invite debate on the controversial measure.

Watched by tearful relatives of Newtown school massacre victims, gun control supporters in the Senate won the first showdown over how to respond to the December shootings in Connecticut, defeating an effort by conservatives to derail firearms restrictions before debate could even start.

Thursday’s 68-31 roll call gave an early burst of momentum to efforts by President Barack Obama and lawmakers to push fresh gun curbs through Congress. The National Rifle Association, along with many Republicans and some moderate Democrats, say the proposals go too far, and the road to congressional approval of major restrictions remains rocky.

But Wicker, R-Miss., said his vote “is in accord with the NRA’s position. I have never voted for gun control and will not do so. This begins a debate to put the Senate on record about a basic constitutional freedom
.”

I'm already seeing the Facebook freakouts as everyone hits the ceiling over Wicker's vote. Everyone calm down and think about it first before firing away on the status pages. Sources inform JJ the bill will not pass the Senate. The Democrats wanted a filibuster so they could blame the Republicans for not passing a gun control bill. However, there are quite a few Democrats up for re-election in Red states next year (Senator Landreiau for one) who do not want to be forced into a vote on this bill. The gamble is they will vote against the bill as they fear their voters more than they do the President. Hence, the decision to end filibuster and make the Democrats actually stand and be counted. I think the term "wedge issue" comes to mind, this time the wedge is the vote used to split the red state senators from the President to kill the bill.

Sources inform JJ there is no way the bill will pass the House. That assessment is probably correct. It is true Boehner and Cantor are not exactly profiles in courage, but the members can read polls and do listen to their constituents. Nothing brings out the voters nor stirs their passions more than gun control fights. Ask the Democrats how 1994 worked out for them.

I'm not saying I agree with all of this logic although it make sense, but that is what the word is from the Hill. The vote to end the filibuster is a gamble. The question is does it pay off into a victory for gun rights, or were the Republicans being too cute? I don't mind smart politics when it works, the problem is the Republicans, well, just haven't always been that good at it. Stay tuned.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

You could be right; however, having watched and listened to Wicker for a decade, I'm not at all sure he's capable of this sort of in-depth reasoning.

Anonymous said...

Wicker has voted pro-gun and anti-gun-control since his days in the state senate. I know he is right on the issue. A number of conservatives want to create a "key vote" to use against Democrats on this issue. The legislation is going down to defeat sooner or later, so why not use this opportunity to create a vote to use in the future elections? Wicker, an astute politician, knows this.

Anonymous said...

In looking at the 30,00 view, this was a smart move. Make the Dems get on the record for gun control and make the red state Dems buck the President.

Sadly, the Facebook reactionary crowd can't see past the end of their nose, much less a 30,000 landscape.

exjxnres said...

The real sad part about all of this is that the real problem (mentally ill people) are not being taken care of as should be. This issue about controlling guns is totally out of the question, due to our Second Amendment Rights. The Liberals should look up the meaning of "infringe". If we were taking proper care of the mentally ill, they would never have an opportunity to obtain a weapon or harm anyone else.

Anonymous said...

Good article and information; however, with respoect to the 1994; we are NOT in 1994 any longer. Healthcare didn't pass back then. So don't be surprised if the Dems win some sort of gun control law.

Obama desperately wants to take back the House to attempt to kill the 2nd amendment. We are living in an age where thinking is obsolete and the media has power over the mindless. It could happen; don't be so certain that the Dems will have a big loss in 2014.

Anonymous said...

I think you've over-estimated Roger's intelligence and highly doubt he came up with this strategy. The junior senator should stick to obstructionism and important issues such as 'guns on a train'.
Honestly though, whatever his motive, I appreciate his vote to end the filibuster.

Anonymous said...

How low does the public approval rating of Congress have to get for those in both parties to realize the public has had it with partisan games?
That every issue is about one party or the other winning or losing rather than the best interest of the Nation IS the problem.
That those who have a position don't have the guts to be accountable for their vote and want to have it both ways IS the problem.
That a special interest group like the NRA can threaten our elected officials and make them fear the about of money spent on negative campaign ad will cost them their seat IS the problem.

As for me, I don't want my legally blind father or his friend with senile dementia driving a car OR owning a gun! I'd also like to the idiot who gave my mother,age 88, who'd never held a gun in her life, a loaded .22 with ammunition out of the trunk of his car to have been held accountable! Fortunately, mother's purse and counter top were the only casualities!
Get real...no one is trying to take your guns, just trying to make sure you know which end spits out the bullet and can tell that your neighbor isn't an invading Martian or elementary school children a threat!

Anonymous said...

Cave-in !! The limp wristed weeny. I'm in his district and will remember this in the next election.

Joseph said...

Said sources have more faith in the Senate and House than I do. Methinks in their attempts to play three dimensional chess with the Democrats the GOP senators who voted for this bill are too clever by half. As Charles C.W. Cooke pointed out yesterday at National Review, today's exemptions will become tomorrow's loopholes. I, personally, find the risk too great, and would remind Senator Wicker, as he ruminates on the political machinations meant to trap the Democrats, of the observation attributed to Field Marshal von Moltke: "No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy."

Anonymous said...

I'm hearing from a lot of conservatives who are VERY disappointed with Wicker on this.


2nd Amendment supporters have a LONG memory, and they.. vote

Joseph said...

A correction of terms: my earlier post should say "voted for cloture." That's what I get for not proofreading carefully enough.

Anonymous said...

I would have preferred the Republicans stand together and do the filibuster. Mainly, because they need to show the dems. that they DO have a pair. But, I would rather win the war than the battle and in D.C. nothing makes sense, so I'm withholding throwing Wicker under the bus for the time being.

Republicans need to win on this issue.

Anonymous said...

Wicker didnt need to vote for this for it to pass....the bill had enough votes already. So what was he trying to do? He surely didnt think he could EXPALIN his "ulterior motive" to everyone and they understand! So whats his explanation? Democrats want to put as many restrictions on guns as possible. Why? They want to control people. Its has nothing to do with safety. Why do democrats want nationalized health care? They dont really want people to have health care...they want people hooked on free govt and they want votes...they want control. Sen Wicker should have pulled a Michael Corleone and said, "I will give you my answer now Senator if you like, Nothing." Instead he voted with the Dems. Whatever his REAL reason is, be sure he wont give it. I didnt see Cochran voting for this. This vote tells me Wicker cant be trusted in the future. He has now set a baseline to predict future behaviour. Remember, Haley Barbour disappointed us in the end with his PARDONING MURDERERS....i have a bad feeling Wicker will disappoint us as well.

Anonymous said...

I am very glad that Wicker voted for cloture - let Harry Reid bring this bill to the floor. There is no doubt that Wicker is anti-gun control; only the mouthbreathers on FB and JT's crowd could think otherwise because as 7:54 noted, they cannot think at the 30000' level.

No gun control bill will ever pass the House; probably won't even get out of committee. So no way it could become law. It probably will not pass the Senate but if it does, so what?

Let the Senators get on record with a vote. Why in the world would Repubs want a filibuster? Frankly, a keen observer would note that it was the Dems that kept talking up the filibuster - many of them were the ones hoping that the Repubs would keep this off the floor.

Anonymous said...

9:08- Everyone should read Joseph response here. It is spot-on. Just because one is APPOINTED to the Senate doesnt not mean ONE SHOULD believe he needs to start thinking. Dont think senator...do as your supposed to...Haley started thinking and it didnt end well. Nothing is sadder than seeing someone who thinks they are smarter than they really are.

Anonymous said...

@7:53, I was with you until you called Wicker "an astute politician." Now I'm second-guessing myself.

As for @8:34, where to begin? You want to complain about extremism in Congress? Take your frustrations out on majority-minority districts and related gerrymandering. Most districts are drawn such that only an extremist can win, and more districts are tilted with each round of redistricting.

Your story about the .22 has more holes than your mom's purse and counter top. Why did an 88-year old lady who had never handled a gun (hard to believe) take the .22 that was handed to her? And somehow it just went off? Yeah, that happens all the time. Be happy it was "loaded . . . with ammunition" because you'd have had a real mess to clean up if the .22 was loaded with BS like the rest of your story.

As for your dad and his friend, take responsibility for them if you feel that strongly about it but don't bring on a nanny state because you can't take care of your family.

It's a dangerous world out there. The best I can offer you, I borrow from Billy Shakespeare: "Get thee to a nunnery!"

Anonymous said...

All anyone is going to get coming out of DC in regards to gun legislation might be something to extend background checks to close the loopholes at gun shows etc. Crap, you people apparently remain stuck in the 3rd world void of any information, 80% of NRA members support background check expansion. Quit showing us all your ignorance every day and get a damn job or something.

Curt Crowley said...

Wicker isn't capable of independent thought. He just affixes his lips to Lindsey "I ain't gay" Graham's ass and tags along.

Curt Crowley said...

"80% of NRA members support background check expansion."

Source?

Curt Crowley said...

Never mind, I'll source it for you.

The 80% figure comes from none other than Nanny Bloomberg's Mayors Against Illegal Guns, and financed by rabid anti-freedom control-freak Nanny Bloomberg himself.

Do you have a poll from someone other than a bunch of failed inner-city mayoral hucksters and a jackass billionaire elitist trying to buy policy?

Anonymous said...

Good one, Curt. Don't mind saying so and I'm not one of your big fans.

Anonymous said...

The same (80% figure) was said on Fox this morning by a republican senator. Can't think of his name.

Anonymous said...

Roger made the correct move here. Anyone who knows or who has worked with Roger understands he's a highly intelligent and understands the political games being played in DC. There is no question to me that Roger came up with the reasoning to vote yes on this issue. He's NEVER gotten sideways with the NRA or the voters in MS on second amendment issues, and he won't this time either - why, b/c he believes in the second amendment and won't do anything to harm it.

I would say personally if the bill only focuses on issues putting a protective layer between mentally ill people from getting a gun I hope he supports it. Anything else and he will vote against it.

Lastly, this vote could hepl the GOP take the senate back. There are three or four Dems up in 2014 from red or purple states who are in a NO WIN situation on this vote, and it will be used against them either way.

Joseph said...

Ahem, 11:12 seems to have bought the "gun show loophole" argument. This, indeed, shows a clear lack of intellectual curiosity, as there are reams of paper (and the electronic equivalent) spent patiently explaining that the "gun show loophole" is merely a phrase ginned up by anti-gun folks who desire to infringe upon the rights of those private individuals who wish to buy and sell at said events. The "gun show loophole" could just as easily be called the "intra-office loophole," the "hunting camp loophole," or the "church small group loophole." It's private transactions between individuals, stud hoss, and as such I see no reason for them to be subjected to these background checks. Regarding those praising Wicker's astuteness and pish-poshing the idea that this will pass the house, please reread what Kingfish pointed out regarding the lack of willpower, as it were, from the Congressional leadership. One comment suggested we lose the battle and win the war; however, basic military science will tell you that if you lose enough engagements, your victory in the overall effort is most certainly in question. How's that for a high-level view from a mouthbreather such as myself?

Again, too clever by half, these senators, and I fear it'll bite them in their hindparts. If I am wrong (and I hope I am) I'll be the first to say so, but I'd prefer they not play fast and loose with my rights.

Anonymous said...

Response I received from an email I sent Senator Wicker about his vote. We will see.

Thank you for contacting me to express your support for the constitutional right of law-abiding Americans to keep and bear arms. I am glad to have the benefit of your views on this important issue.

Since coming to Congress in 1995, I have consistently voted to protect our Second Amendment freedoms and will continue to do so. On April 11, 2013, I supported, along with 15 other Republican Senators, a procedural motion on debating S. 649, the so-called Safe Schools Act.

I believe that S. 649 is deeply flawed legislation, and I oppose the measure. However, this vote signals the opening of a robust debate that will put the Senate on record regarding a basic constitutional right. Far from shrinking from it, I welcome such a discussion and believe it is long overdue.

The Founding Fathers conceived of the U.S. Senate as the proper forum for public deliberation of this kind. Law-abiding gun owners should not be put on the defensive when it comes to a fundamental American freedom.

In addition, contrary to the intent of the bill's authors, bringing this measure to the floor gives us the opportunity to vote to add provisions to strengthen gun rights, such as an amendment to protect veterans from unfair restrictions when purchasing a firearm. I would filibuster passage of a final bill that contained any increased, gun restrictions or a weapons ban.

I have worked to protect and preserve the Second Amendment. Rather than adding new laws and regulatory burdens, Congress should focus on ways to make existing laws more effective. The goal should be to increase safety and punish criminals – not unfairly hurt law-abiding gun owners.

Be assured that as Congress considers gun control legislation I will continue to defend our right to bear arms. Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can ever be of assistance.

With best wishes, I am

Sincerely yours,

Roger F. Wicker
U.S. Senate

Anonymous said...

I don't think the 2nd Amendment should be subject to a popular vote in Harry Reid's Senate.

Ever.

No compromise. No accommodation.

Anonymous said...

I Ike Cochran way of thinking on this issue. Just vote NO. Simple, no explanation needed. No one is mad at you or trying to defend your vote. So why would Wicker vote for something that had the votes to pass anyway? Now he has to explain himself. Doesn't sound like an astute politician to me. Sounds like an idiot.

Anonymous said...

The lack of logic that " buys" into the notion that we should not close or tighten loopholes ( be it tax or guns) simply because some will still try to do wrong is astounding.
One may as well argue that we should have murder/rape laws because people will still murder and rape.
Responsible gun owners shouldn't mind requiring responsibility.
The GOP is becoming the party of the extremists and those so immature they will " take their marbles and go home" rather than try to reach solutions to real problems.
And, 12:37 pm, I don't want you doing private sales unless that person is licensed because you don't know as much about private lives of others as you arrogantly imagine!
Sen. Wicker, I appreciate that you commented, but be aware that not ALL of your constituents are hard headed nimcompoops that think all compromise is a sign of weakness.

Mark Geoffriau said...

2:45 PM --

"And, 12:37 pm, I don't want you doing private sales unless that person is licensed because you don't know as much about private lives of others as you arrogantly imagine!"

Fortunately, there's no "license" requirement for purchasing a firearm in the state of Mississippi, whether it's from a private individual or a FFL-holder. Perhaps you ought to be familiar with the existing firearm laws before you attempt to "fix" them?

Anonymous said...

Dear Mississippi NRA Member,

The U.S. Senate is going to consider anti-gun legislation as early as this Tuesday. Your U.S. Senator, Roger Wicker, has been a strong and consistent supporter of our Second Amendment freedoms and has committed to opposing any anti-gun amendments or proposals that come before the Senate, including the misguided "compromise" proposal by Senators Joe Manchin (D-WV) and Pat Toomey (R-PA) that would criminalize the private transfer of firearms between law-abiding citizens; Senator Dianne Feinstein's (D-CA) proposed ban on commonly owned firearms; and Senator Richard Blumenthal's (D-CT) proposed ban on commonly owned magazines. Please contact Senator Wicker and thank him for supporting our Right to Keep and Bear Arms and opposing all anti-gun proposals and amendments. SO I WANT TO KNOW IF THE NRA IS GOING TO SEND OUT A LETTER PRAISING SEN. COCHRAN FOR VOTING FOR THE FILIBUSTER. OBVIOUSLY THE NRA IS CONFUSED

Joseph said...

Pray tell, 2:45, how am I arrogant in believing that I have the right to determine whether or not someone is fit to purchase property that I have put up for sale? It is, after all, already quite illegal for me (a private individual unengaged in the buying and selling of firearms as my primary business) to sell an arm to a person that I know or have reason to think is prohibited from receiving or possessing a firearm. This law already being in place, what is the purpose of more laws, other than to assuage the conscience of those who demand (as the blogger Ace of Spades frequently mentions) Something Must Be Done?

It is worth pointing out, yet again, that this is not a "loophole." It is a basic right of property, a Lockean idea that heavily influenced the founders. The "loophole" does not exist, but is a figment of anti-gunners' imaginations. If you wish to argue for the disavowal of property rights, please do so, but this talk of "loopholes" is disingenuous.

Additionally, 2:45 (and I do wish more folks who wish to be anonymous on here would at least use a handle; doesn't have to be your real name, but something to identify you with better than a time stamp would be useful), I believe you misconstrue Wicker's position. From what I've been able to tell from statements regarding this bill, he is not planning on voting in favor of S.649. My criticism of the senator revolves around what I believe is a rather ill-conceived bit of political gamesmanship that can altogether too easily backfire on him and the rest of the senate GOP. Games are for children, I think; our rights should not be placed in such jeopardy.

Finally, 2:45, since you stand in such full-throated support of S.649, I would ask...why, exactly? The latest figures that I've been able to find from the Bureau of Justice Statistics point out that, among prisoners who carried a firearm during the offense for which they were serving time, nearly 80% had received said firearm through "friends or family" or illegal sources. Yet S.649 does nothing to curb transactions between friends and family that do not involve advertisement, nor can I logically see how it will make particular transactions that are already illegal somehow "more" illegal. I fail to see your logic here.

Anonymous said...

Have you read the bill? It is crap and so unnecessary. The bill will not do anything make anyone safer but you can bet that the demoncrats will attach so much to it, it will look like a New Year’s day float. It will pass the Senate and they will be that much closer to the control of the sheeple that they so desire. Don’t think for a minute that Boehner has the cojones to stand up to the machine!

Anonymous said...

4:06 pm
I simply appreciated Sen. Wicker's taking the time to respond. I don't expect him to ever vote for any gun control measures.
I also thought I made clear that, unlike you, I don't think this bill ( or any other) will end gun violence or illegal arms sales. Indeed, I thought I made clear that pointing out that no bill will is a poor argument.
However, if my roof is leaking and I can't afford a new roof, I will take measures to keep the leak from causing further damage. I'll put a bucket under the leak if nothing else. Your argument( and the NRAs) is that if one can't stop the leak completely, to let the water pour.
When you sell your house, you don't imagine yourself " fit" to decide if the person wanting to buy it is qualified!
You think you know the private life of all your friends? You will know if they become suicidal or are beating their wives or are at the early onset of senile dementia?
Don't be foolish!
You are FOR making it easier for gun traffickers and criminals to sell and trade guns. You are FOR making it easier for the mentally deranged and those with a history of abuse or stalking to obtain guns. You are FOR making it easier to kill more people in a shorter period of time ( NRAs reload test is a joke and any competent gun person should know it). Your argument is that if you won't stop all of them, you should stop none.

You ( and the NRA) attribute more organized thinking and planning ability to the mentally ill and criminals than most have.

You ignore all the other rights in the Constitution that have responsibilities and thus limits ( regulations and licensure) attached and pretend there is only a part of a sentence in the Second Amendment.

Worse, you have let yourself be duped who make their living by fear mongering misinformation to their members...the NRA! You see that other special interest groups use that tactic but you can't see it with the NRA.

The GOP is losing the woman's vote, not just on all the vaginal issues, but on this one...oh wait, maybe the vagina is involved as our children who one inhabited that space are being killed outside the womb too!

And, finally, your " more guns" will end gun violence ( the shoot them before they shoot us) isn't working. Again, ask the guys in Texas who KNEW they were targets and were armed why they are dead...oh you can't...here's a hint...ambush!




Curt Crowley said...

9:26 "And, finally, your " more guns" will end gun violence ( the shoot them before they shoot us) isn't working."

Worked pretty well for this guy.

Anonymous said...

"9:26 "And, finally, your " more guns" will end gun violence ( the shoot them before they shoot us) isn't working."

Worked pretty well for this guy. "

Video evidence is great for shutting up fools like 9:26.

The defender might run into trouble for shooting at their backs as they fled, but I doubt any jury would convict for that.

Anonymous said...

Well...yahoos...not surprised you will find the rare examples...but the fact is that the more guns and gun ownership we have in this nation, the higher the rates of crime and violence have become.

Gun ownership just simply hasn't deterred crime or violence. Your rationale is that if everyone has a gun , then they would be able to stop criminals. Just ain't happening.

One or ten or a hundred examples isn't convincing compared to number of successful crimes where a gun is used.

Math is hard for some.


Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.