Thursday, December 10, 2020

Hablas Espanol?

 You might want to learn Spanish if you want to read the Clarion-Ledger.

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Dispatch from Pelahatchie: Food Fight Edition

 What would a Pelahatchie Board of Aldermen meeting be without a food fight?  

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Wednesday, December 9, 2020

There Was a Kaboom!

 Starship crash-landed today after making a pretty badass flight. Although the landing will make the SpaceX bloopers reel, the mission was still 95% successful.  Watch it all from start to finish below.

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MEMA Director Contracts Covid-19

2,746 new cases

First Consul Tate Reeves announced a new round of Covid-19 restrictions at a press conference he is holding right now.  It is streamed below.

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Lynn Jumps In

 Attorney Generalissimo Evelyn Fitch issued the following statement. 

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Robert St. John: Easy Bake Oven 2020

This week's recipe: Italian Cream Cake

 

Two days ago, a friend made a Facebook post that referenced the Christmas section of the old Sears Catalogue that used to come out once a year. The release of the Sears Christmas Wish Book was a momentous event every fall. I couldn’t tell you what any of my first-grade readers looked like, but I can still recall almost every page and item of the toy section of the Sears Catalogue.

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New Tech Catches Contraband

 MDOC issued the following statement. 

 

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Sid Salter: A Baby Boy's Arrival Brings Hope & Joy to the Pandemic Darkness

Our family, like most, is nearing the end of our collective ropes in COVID-19 fatigue and pandemic uncertainty. Enough, already.

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Tuesday, December 8, 2020

We Have a Winner

 Angelique Lee will be the new Councilwoman for Ward 2 in Jackson.  The Ridgeland resident clobbered former Hinds County Sheriff Tyrone Lewis 60-40.  She received 1,672 votes while Mr. Lewis got 1,110 votes.  

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Meltdown!

 Here is something for the Ole Miss fans to enjoy.  Baton Rouge sports radio talk show host Matt Mascona had a complete meltdown yesterday about the LSU football team's, well, meltdown this season.  Everything he said is true and the Rebel readers are going to enjoy watching his misery. ;-) 

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Supremes Reject Bar Reject

Bar reject threatened to "beat y'all's asses unconscious" in filing addressed to Supreme Court

 It's a safe bet Zundria Crawford will not become a lawyer anytime soon.  She failed the bar exam in 2015 but instead of re-taking the test, she sued the Mississippi Bar.  The Mississippi Supreme Court rejected her "appeal" yesterday. 

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Ms Gets $495 Million Grant for Rural High-Speed Internet

 Senator Roger Wicker issued the following statement. 

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Is George Bell Getting Special Treatment?

 George Bell was moved to the 1A section at the Central Mississippi Correctional Facility in Pearl.  George Bell is serving a prison sentence of life without parole after he brutally murdered his girlfriend and kidnapped her best friend on September 10, 2007.  1A is a medium security section at the Pearl prison.

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Monday, December 7, 2020

Uncle Tom-foolery in Ward 2

 It appears some dirty tricks are taking place in the runoff to replace Jackson Ward 2 City Councilman Melvin Priester, Jr.  Someone is apparently trying to "Tom" Angelique Lee.   This flyer was dropped all over Ward 2 last weekend. 

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Hops & Habanas Closing

 Hops & Habanas announced yesterday on Facebook that it will close at the end of the year : 

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Dixie National Rodeo Plans Announced

 Ag Commish Andrew Gipson issued the following statement. 

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Public School Enrollment Falls 23,000 Students

 The Mississippi Department of Education issued the following statement. 

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NBER: Media Fear-mongered on Covid-19

 Has the media been tipping the scales a bit when covering the Covid-19 pandemic? A team of really smart folks at the National Bureau of Economic Research asked that question and found the American media engages in a bit of fear-mongering with its Covid-19 coverage.  NBER compared American and foreign media coverage of the virus and found 91% of American article were negative while only 54% of foreign media was.  The abstract says it all: 

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Ouch!

 SEC Shorts gave LSU a nice send off before it went off to do battle with the Alabama Crimson Tide:

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Sunday, December 6, 2020

Enjoy a True Masterpiece

 The Metropolitan Opera is streaming a real treat until tomorrow night: Pavarotti in Tosca.  The Met has been streaming a different opera every night for free since it cancelled all performances earlier this year. 

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Closed

 Campbell's Bakery in Madison is shutting it's doors.  The business announced on Facebook yesterday: 

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Dragon Flies, Falcon Returns

SpaceX launched the first un-manned resupply mission to the International Space Station this morning. A Falcon 9 first-stage rocket booster launched the flight and safely returned to Earth.  Watch the exciting liftoff and return below.

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Sunday Morning Sermon

 The late Dr. Frank Pollard preached on the Sabbath about the Sabbath in this 1991 sermon. If you played hookey this morning, enjoy this sermon about playing hookey on Sunday morning.  ;-)

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Bill Crawford: Un-Merry Covid Christmas Looms

Move over Grinch. It’s no childish matter Dr. Seuss. The new holiday story this season is “How the COVID stole Christmas” by Drs. Robert Redfield and Thomas Dobbs.

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Saturday, December 5, 2020

Fighting Crime Has a New Ring

Jackson's use of private Ring cameras to fight crime is raising eyebrows and drawing national attention.   NBC and former Clarion-Ledger reporter Bracey Harris reported:

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Do as I Say.....

 Just a case of more Hollywood hypocrisy when it comes to Covid-19 shutdowns.

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Friday, December 4, 2020

Talent!

 They definitely don't make 'em like this anymore.  You're welcome.

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Pitiful!

 It's not a homicide but close enough for the poor victim: 

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Sit Down and Shut Up!

Questioning shutdowns will apparently earn a shutdown. Watch what happens when someone attempts to debate restaurant shutdowns this morning. 

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It's Tuition Toss Weekend!!!

 

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Idiot of the Day

 The Madison Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Clinton Gets a New Restaurant

 The city of Clinton issued the following statement. 

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Thursday, December 3, 2020

Coming Soon.....

The greatest Christmas story ever told returns to the big screen Friday for a week long run at several local theatres. 

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Double Killer Convicted

 Madison-Rankin District Attorney John Bramlett issued the following statement. 

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Where Does She Live?

 Ward 2 City Council Candidate Angelique Lee tried to dispel questions over her voting record and residency on JSU-TV Sunday.  Ms. Lee won the special election primary and faces former Hinds County Sheriff Tyrone Lewis in a runoff election on December 8.  

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Former U.S. Attorney's Home Shot Up

Update: WLBT posted audio of the shooting.

 The home of former U.S. Attorney Greg Davis was shot up on Thanksgiving night.  

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C19 Update: New Records Set Again

 The Mississippi State Department of Health reported 2,168 cases of Wuhan virus and 28 deaths today.   However, 27 of the deaths took place between November 26 and December 2.  The total number of cases is 159,036. The virus has caused 3,879 deaths.  Nursing home deaths comprise 40% of overall Covid-19 deaths in Mississippi. There are 128,746 recoveries. 

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Time to Get Drunk

It's that time of year and you know what it means: It's time for my award-winning egg nog recipe:

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Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Homicide on Mobile

 JPD tweeted the following statements. 

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Lawyer Calls Judge "Mean Hearted"

 It is never, ever a good idea to tick off a judge, much less one of the federal variety.  However, Jackson attorney Abby Robinson is managed to do so in federal court.  U.S. District Judge Daniel P. Jordan, III had enough and chewed her out but the lawyer was determined to have the last word, forgetting the Court always has the last word.

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Robert St. John: Recipe Testing

Over the course of my 38-year restaurant career I have been a part of 21 restaurant/bar openings. Three of those openings— the first three— were while working in other people’s restaurants. The remaining 18 openings were restaurants that were my concepts.

Grouper w/black bean, salsa, & corn. Recipe posted below.

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Sid Salter: Efforts to Abolish Electoral College Will Dilute Influence of Rural States

 The Electoral College, as confusing and messy as it often becomes in presidential politics, remains the only safeguard against having our national leadership chosen by the citizens of a few densely populated states on the east and west coasts of our country rather than the voters of all 50 states.

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Professor Shoots Back at Shad

 Attorney Rob McDuff of the Mississippi Center for Justice issued the following statement.

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Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Funny of the Day

Talk about brave.  Michael J. Fox makes fun of his Parkinson's Disease in this old sketch.  Enjoy.

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Scotty, We Need a Vaccine

 When history is written about the Covid-19 pandemic in the distant future, Operation Warp Speed will hopefully receive the credit it deserves.  The vaccine breakthroughs that were announced a few weeks ago are simply unprecedented in human history.  The New York Times dived into the weeds last week and published a pretty good article about Operation Warp Speed.  The newspaper reported:

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Governor Provides C19 Briefing

 Governor Tate Reeves is giving a Covid-19 briefing.  It is streamed below.

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State Auditor to Protestin' Professor: Pay Up.

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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Idiots of the Day

 The Clinton Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Eastover Leads the Way but not in a Good Way

Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba said Eastover and other Northeast Jackson neighborhoods lead Jackson in Covid-19 infections. 

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D.L. Gardner: Guarding 1st Amendment Rights

The Bill of Rights was key to getting all of the original states to sign and ratify the U.S. Constitution. Our Founders had fought for freedom against the strongest military of that day, and they were still in a fighting mood if the new government threatened to act like the one they had just defeated. The First Amendment listed basic freedoms Americans had not had under England’s rule. 

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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