Wednesday, April 22, 2026

Robert St. John: Between the Arctic and Africa

 “Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.”

— Dalai Lama

 

LISBON—Seven weeks ago, I stood in snow 200 miles above the Arctic Circle in Tromso, Norway watching the sky turn green. Tomorrow I will stand on a cliff in the Algarve 200 miles above Africa, looking at the last stretch of the Atlantic before it runs east to Gibraltar.

 In between was Tuscany, three groups, an Easter off, and a suitcase packed for three seasons in two months.

That is what travel does to a man my age. You stop counting the days and just count the trips.

I had been waiting 25 years to see the Northern Lights in the actual sky over my head. I was nervous about it the whole way north through Stockholm, Copenhagen, Bergen, and Oslo. Every night one of our guests pulled up an aurora forecast app, and we stared at the projection the way people on the Gulf Coast stare at Doppler radar before a beach wedding. I was worried the whole trip was going to turn into one long letdown. Twenty-five years of building a moment up in your head gives that moment almost no way to live up to itself.

We were in the middle of a king crab dinner when it happened. Somebody stepped outside, looked up, and came back in yelling, “It’s the lights.” Twenty-five grown adults left an excellent hot meal on the table and spilled out into the snow like children at a fire drill. Somewhere back inside, a Norwegian chef was watching his beautiful king crab go cold and quietly rethinking his career.

I have stood in some of the great cathedrals of Europe. I have stood on the rim of the Grand Canyon at dusk. I have never felt closer to God than I felt that night in the snow 200 miles above the Arctic Circle.

The trip knocked another item off the list, too. Dog sledding. I love anything where a dog is part of the work. Truffle hunting in Italy, quail hunting back home, now sled dogs in Norway. A dog with a job is my favorite kind of company.

The temperatures stayed in the high 20s and low 30s. My son went to Finland the January before and said it was brutally cold. We had it easy. We were bundled up, together, and chasing green fire across the top of the world.

From there I flew south to Tuscany for three tours, and in 15 years of showing up to that part of Italy, I have never seen a spring that cold or that windy. The first two groups got the raw end of the weather. The third group got Tuscany the way Tuscany is supposed to be.





 

Easter sat in the middle of those three tours, and I don’t work around Easter in Italy. I don’t want my guests fighting holiday airport traffic, and I don’t want my Italian team members working through the biggest holiday of their year. So, I caught up on some writing, had dinner with friends who happened to be in Florence on Easter night, and watched Italy come back to life the next week. When I had landed, the grapevines were bare sticks in the ground. On the morning I left for Portugal, the vines were green, and the first poppies of the season had arrived.

“A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.”

— Tim Cahill

Portugal, I knew almost nothing about. I had dipped a toe in 15 years ago but never properly toured the country, so my team and I went to work building a trip that could stand next to the best ones we’ve ever run. Porto in the north, Lisbon in the middle, the Algarve in the south. Top to bottom in eight days.

The Douro Valley almost did not make the cut. Thank God it did.

The hills that rise out of the Douro River do not photograph. They are like grand cathedrals; you can take a thousand pictures and show every one of them back home and still not make anyone understand it. The whole valley is terraced. Every hill. Every slope. All the way up and all the way down. The first night I put my guests on a boat for a sunset cruise and a buffet dinner on the river. The next morning, we loaded 25 people into Land Rovers, drove to the highest point in the valley, and spread out a picnic breakfast on a ridge where you could see every vineyard and every bend of the river below.

Two of those 25 guests, Jackie and Pam, were on their 10th tour with me. Both of them have seen a lot of the world from my itineraries over the last decade. Both said, standing on that ridge with glass in hand and the Douro laid out below them, that these might be the best views we have ever had on any trip. I can’t disagree.

Tomorrow in the Algarve, I’ll be wearing short sleeves and squinting at the Atlantic. I had left Mississippi in a coat and the Arctic in three, and I’ll finish the trip in one short-sleeved shirt. Three seasons in two months, all out of the same suitcase.

I say it to myself on every tour, and every now and then I say it out loud. You can’t see this in Mississippi. I’ve done enough of these now to know what comes next. The views are the easy part. The views stay in your photos. 

What you bring home is something else.

For a quarter of a century, I waited on those lights. They were worth every one of those years. So was Tuscany in the cold. So was every mile in between. A man can live a whole life and never get a spring like this one. I got one. And the only way I know how to say thank you is to sit down on a Tuesday morning and tell you about it.

Onward.



Spinach Flan

2 cups              Heavy cream

1 ea                 10 oz. package frozen chopped spinach, thawed, drained well

4 ea                 Eggs
2 tsp                Kosher salt
1 tsp                Fresh ground black pepper
1/8 tsp             Ground nutmeg

Grated Parmigiano Reggiano as needed for garnish

1 recipe           Roasted Tomato Coulis

Preheat oven to 275.

Combine heavy cream and spinach in a small sauce pot and warm over low heat, just to take the chill off. Remove from heat and puree until smooth. Strain through a chinois. Discard any solids that remain. Transfer to a bowl and combine remaining ingredients gently. 

Coat 8 4-6 oz. oven safe ramekins with non-stick spray and divide mixture among them. Bake in a water bath for 30 minutes or until set. Allow to cool slightly. Using a paring knife, loosen the flan from around the edges and unmold onto desired plate. Garnish with fresh grated Parmigiano Reggiano.

Yield: 8 servings

 

Roasted Tomato Coulis

6 ea                 Roma tomatoes
1 TB                Vegetable oil
½ tsp               Kosher salt
¼ tsp               Fresh ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 350.

Coat tomatoes in oil and place on sheet pan in the oven for 20-30 minutes, until skins begin to wrinkle and begin browning. Rotate tomatoes every 10 minutes to avoid one side burning.

Allow to cool just enough to handle, remove skins and place in food processor or blender with salt and pepper. Puree until smooth. Pass through a chinois if a smoother texture is desired. Serve warm.

Yield: 1 cup



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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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