Thursday, December 21, 2023

Time to Get Drunk!

 It's that time of year and you know what it means: It's time for my award-winning egg nog recipe:

Ingredients
1 cup bourbon 
1 cup brandy 
1 cup Tia Maria (Hard to get.  Use a coffee liqueur such as Kahlua (coffee flavor) or Frangelico)
12 eggs
quart cream
quart half & half
1/2 lb powdered sugar


 


Directions: Separate eggs, and combine booze and yolks, and whisk in 1/2 lb of powdered sugar.
Store in fridge for 24 hrs. Keep the whites chilled also. (This is the key step.)

24 hrs later, whip cream in large bowl until thick, then add half & half and the yoke/booze mix.

Add the egg whites and whip till frothy.

Chill for a while before serving.

Get blowed up or bring to your next pancake social.

Onward. 


Enjoy getting drunk.  Stone Pony, baby!!!


20 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love egg nog and I can't say I have ever looked at a recipe but I have a question. How are the raw eggs safe to consume? I am not being a smartass I am genuinely curious

Anonymous said...

I've been looking for a good eggnog recipe for a while. I might have to try this! How long will it last in the fridge if I am making it ahead of time?

@4:37. You can pasteurize the eggs first. You heat them to a certain temp and then cool them back down. I did this last year when making a homemade mayo- just to be safe.

Kingfish said...

You don't need to. There is so much alcohol in there it doesn't do anything. It keeps fine for a week or so.

The drink is deceptive. Do not spike it as a friend did a couple of years ago. Her friends thought it was too weak and needed some boost. So.... they poured a bunch of bourbon in it til they got the taste they like. Big mistake. Her husband said it was the worst hangover he ever had. Just think of the old hurricanes. Tasted like koolaid til BOOM!

Anonymous said...

Powdered sugar? Maybe honey, maple syrup, which would contribute to "thickness" of the egg nog.

Anonymous said...

If you heat an egg to high temp, it will turn rock solid within 19 seconds.

Bond, James Bond said...

I take the easy way out. Just buy good egg nog at the grocery, then add KF's bourbon, brandy and the Tia Maria and enjoy. Don't waste your money on high shelf bourbon. My mother made this from 10 year old Charter. I prefer Buffalo Trace or Makers. Either way, it definitely gets the job done without the mess.

Anonymous said...

This seems like a decent recipe for eggnog. I'd like to share mine for those whose tastes in cocktails don't run to so much egg, dairy, and sugar:

Obtain a very nice tumbler, crystal preferably, and it is best if it fills the hand but not overly so.

Pour into that at least two fingers of really, really good whisky - not "whiskey," whisky, i.e., Scotch. Single malt or really nice blended, your drink, your choice.

Think of eggs or chickens or cream or cows, if you so desire, but by no means add any of those things. Or ice. A splash of water, flat or sparkling, as you wish.

Drink. Repeat as the situation dictates.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, you said the old hurricanes. I had forgotten that drink until I read that. Strangely, my whole body just stuttered and I squinted from the pain. Oh I remember those.

Anonymous said...

Hi. Just me, Ol' Funkiller here. Please drink responsibly.

Anonymous said...

I drank some of Kingfish eggnog. Wow! Started flirting with my wife ugly girlfriends.
Had to spend the next 3 nights in the Chicken Coup!
Thanks Kingfish!

Kingfish said...

Some people are trying to trash my recipe in the comments. Happens every year and as usual, they don't get approved.

Anonymous said...

"Some people are trying to trash my recipe in the comments. Happens every year and as usual, they don't get approved."

Alternative cocktail recipe poster above here - I'm not a big eggnog drinker (I'll have a small glass or two over the entire holiday season and enjoy that small amount) but I think you ought to approve the would-be trashers. Your recipe seems well within the reasonable spectrum of eggnog recipes so it might be amusing for the sane folks to read what must be pretty goofy comments.

"Here's my recipe for scrambled eggs: 1. Get eggs, 2. Scramble them, 3. Cook them, 4. Eat them"

"WHAT?! You call that 'scrambled eggs?!' What kind of liberalcommiepinkoGOPMAGA supporter puts fuckin' EGGS in scrambled eggs?! Besides, my brother's girlfriend's cousin read on FaceTokGram that even a single egg has enough closetatroll to kill 47 people AND a cabal of Satan-worshiping Federal Reserve Bankers raise all the chickens anyway! Plus chicken farts are the prime source of whorehouse gases and those punch holes in the prozone layer! Don't you listen to Alex Jones? He was talking about eggs, Satan, and how his instant breakfast smoothies contain nothing but 100% pure spring water! That's right, no floridadation to make your precious bodily fluids all commie! Don't let Satan-worshiping bankers ruin your breakfast and steal your manly essence!"

Cricket said...

This is the BEST recipe for egg nog. Hands down better than anything you can buy and I use Kahlua because it’s easier to get. I make 3-4 batches a year and have for many years. F the naysayers cause they don’t mean a thing….. Dpnt knock it til you try it.

Anonymous said...

I've dodged making KF's recipe for years because I'd get fat and drunk. This Christmas, I no longer care about any of that, so bottoms up!

Happy holidays, everyone!

Anonymous said...

I've dodged making KF's recipe for years because I'd get fat and drunk.


On the positive side, it cannot make you any more stupid than lesser cocktails, so no worries!

Anonymous said...

It is never time to get drunk and you should be ashamed.

Anonymous said...

Is the 24hrs a key step or will it still be ok chilled for only 10-12hrs? Also, do you sprinkle in some nutmeg or cinnamon once poured?

Rudolph said...

9:30pm of December 21 needs to relax and enjoy Christmas.

Anonymous said...

@ December 21, 2023 at 9:30 PM
Lighten up, Francis.

Anonymous said...

The recipe looks interesting, but the headline certainly is not. Sorry, not cool.


Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.