His eyes were absent of fear as he sped past for the third time in his pilfered Jackson police cruiser, almost oblivious to the chain of screaming squad cars following like flies after a Chicago meat wagon.
The Capitol Street roundabouts proved minor impediments that transformed him into some kind of mini Burt Reynolds in a bad bandit film. "There'll be no water in Hell!" he seemed to shout back toward his pursuers in his quest to find a permanent escape route; one which would never materialize.
For whatever reason, whether through ignorance or sport, this Downtown road demon would fail to activate his own blue lights in the stolen hardtop; a move that might have bought him precious time as the realization must've rolled in like a quick fog that Mr. Toad's Wild Ride was coming to its inevitable conclusion.
And then, too soon for the spectators who had cheered his journey as some breath of fresh air in a crime-troubled, pothole-filled asphalt jungle, the hounding sirens went silent and we knew, with heads hung low, that our Andretti of the night would drive no more.
For whatever reason, whether through ignorance or sport, this Downtown road demon would fail to activate his own blue lights in the stolen hardtop; a move that might have bought him precious time as the realization must've rolled in like a quick fog that Mr. Toad's Wild Ride was coming to its inevitable conclusion.
And then, too soon for the spectators who had cheered his journey as some breath of fresh air in a crime-troubled, pothole-filled asphalt jungle, the hounding sirens went silent and we knew, with heads hung low, that our Andretti of the night would drive no more.
19 comments:
Anyone who would cheer a criminal needs to be hung. That’s what’s wrong with our society.
But didn't the City Council issue a proclamation a few months back that they wanted to see professional sports back in downtown Jackson?
Chain Gang Charlie: “They said you was hung.”
Sheriff Bart: “And they was right.”
-- Blazing Saddles
NASCAR us making an appearance in another troubled city, Chicago, in 2023. Maybe the current admin in Jackson is on to something.
@12:46 Lighten up, Francis.
Come on, at least give credit to the writer.
Jackson must be hell cause there's no water there either.
Creative writing, University of Iowa
The JPD chief announced that there will be no charges for the car thief, because it is "against policy" to leave the engine running.
WTF does that have to do his criminal intent? He stole a car and it makes no friggin' difference what policy is as he isn't a city employee.
What a third world LE agency!!!
It's open season boys! If you come across an unoccupied JPD cruiser with the engine running TAKE IT FOR A JOY RIDE!!!
This is the funniest literature I have read in a long time! The fellow officers will never let him/her forget this one!!!!! The Duh Award goes to..... ?????
Where's all the Jacktown leaders now? Silent about Jackson PD chasing down one of their own cars!....this wasn't an out of town jurisdiction trying to catch a Jackson thug attempting to get back to his safe haven.
Funny how City Council and JPD didn't complain about this particular car chase.
It's just a stolen car after all.
Jackson is a nice place to live. Unless you need water, drivable roads, police protection, depreciating property values, etc.
Surely its a joke that chief said no charges.
@4:22 PM, it was an equity crime. Those don't count in Lumumbaville.
Are the Capitol Police going to charge this car thief? If JPD won't do it, the Capitol Police certainly should. A speeding car can be a deadly weapon. Suppose he had killed someone with that car?
This is Benny Hill material for sure! We just need the music.
I’m all for law and order and putting criminals in jail, but y’all do realize the perp is mentally ill, right? Check the WLBT story.
I’m not sure what the answer is since we let our crazies wander the streets now instead of putting them in the State Hospital thanks to the ACLU.
Probably inspired to do this as East Bound and Down was blaring from the cruisers radio as he was walking by it.
Post a Comment