You know the type. Their children can't ride bikes to school two blocks away. Might get run over or kidnapped. Can't go to the playground at the park because a creep might be there. Has to do the homework for little Johnny because she wants him to go to Harvard one day. Threatens the school with a lawsuit if junior gets caught cheating. Child has self-esteem issues so he has to be protected. Then there are the ones that go to professional job interviews with their kids. Teacher told me how one was kicked out of an ACT test when she tried to take the test with her child. I kid you not. Meanwhile, a recent study confirmed earlier ones in finding "helicopter moms" are bad for their kids development and leave them ill-equipped to deal with life. The Daily Mail(UK) reports:
"Children with controlling parents are more likely to be depressed or anxious, a study suggests.
Researchers warn that the overbearing parenting style, known as 'helicopter parenting' - where parents hover over their children and become too involved in their lives - affects a child's ability to get on with others.
While some parental involvement helps children develop, too much can make them more likely to be depressed and less satisfied with their lives, they say.
The findings also suggested that children of over controlling parents feel less competent and less able to manage life and its stressors while some parents wrongly consider 'helicopter parenting' to be supportive, rather than detrimental.
The research, from the University of Mary Washington in the U.S., involved 297 American graduate students aged 18 to 23.
In an online survey, participants were asked to describe their mothers' parenting behaviours and rate their own perceptions of their autonomy, competence, and how well they get along with other people.
Children who felt they had little autonomy from their parents were also more likely to be depressed
Children who felt they had little autonomy from their parents were also more likely to be depressed
They were also asked to rate their overall satisfaction with life, their level of anxiety, and whether or not they suffered depressive symptoms.
The results showed inappropriate level of parental control was linked to negative well-being outcomes for students.
Helicopter parenting behaviours were linked to higher levels of depression, decreased satisfaction with life and lower levels of perceived autonomy, competence, and ability to get along with people.
Those who perceived they had less autonomy and competence were also more likely to be depressed, the study found.
Because children's need for autonomy increases over time as they strive to become independent young adults, researchers said they were concerned that some parents do not adjust their level of involvement and control as their child grows up.
The authors conclude that parents should be wary of helicopter parenting, which they labelled a highly involved, intensive, and hands-on method of parenting which undermines their children.
'Parents should keep in mind how developmentally appropriate their involvement is and learn to adjust their parenting style when their children feel that they are hovering too closely,' lead researcher Holly Schiffrin said.
The study was published online in the Journal of Child and Family Studies"
Link to study.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Study says helicopter moms bad for kids.
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12 comments:
They needed to do a study to figure that out?
The new parenting theories in the US are 1) build your child's self esteem in every way as others will give them negative messages ( we have kids with unrealistic ideas of their abilities) 2) social life should be centered around family and church ( we have kids without enough opportunity to learn to problem solve with their peers 3) success and popularity aren't just everything, they are the only things ( we have children with no moral compass)4) Every minute should be regimented ( we have children who can't manage their time or learn how to entertain themselves)
And,our children don't get enough sun, don't get dirty enough and don't get to be spoiled at grandparents house.
We are raising fragile children who can't overcome failure or imagine they could be mistaken about anything.
Can they please do a study about the baby momma kids left in day care all day and then left while mom is with various bf's and no dad to speak of. Which is worse I wonder? Stupid study.
Can't go to the playground at the park because a creep might be there.
I think there needs to be a distinction between the over-involvement along many of the lines discussed in your post and, for instance, the concern for the safety of one's child.
Because the fact of the matter is that depending on your location there are too many creeps loose who do present a danger to children.
Furthermore, I believe the total population that has at its disposal a school "two blocks away" is extremely small.
So I'm down with much of what you highlight but don't agree that reasonable concerns about safety makes anyone a helicopter parent.
No 10:29 AM,
Enough studies have already been conducted about the millions of unwed 10 to 13 year old little girls & their unknown "baby daddies" .....
The "Progressive / Liberal Conclusion" : their twisted logic as usual .... it's the White man's fault .
No 10:29 AM,
Enough studies have already been conducted about the millions of unwed 10 to 13 year old little girls & their unknown "baby daddies" .....
The "Progressive / Liberal Conclusion" : their twisted logic as usual .... it's the White man's fault .
"The "Progressive / Liberal Conclusion" : their twisted logic as usual .... it's the White man's fault . "
Do they mean in "strom thurmond" type fault???
Just as bad are the moms who insist that kids not flush before she has a proper viewing.
Yep intern, that's what they meant.
If we are going to measure parenting effectiveness by comparing our parenting skills to those of an unwed, teenage single, unemployed mother, then we are all effective parents.
And, we are all stupid.
I'm in my early 50's and I can tell you: most to all of the parenting problems are my generation's fault! We learned the right things from our parents (the "Greatest Generation"), like hard work, personal responsibility, not getting something for nothing, etc., but for some reason, those are the LAST things we've taught our children! It makes no sense at all, and I've never been able to figure it out! For the most part, I believe my generation is an order of magnitude better adjusted and better equipped for the world than subsequent generations, and I believe overall statistics would bear me out on that belief. However, it's like there's some unwritten competition in my generation as to who can raise the most worthless children! How many friends of yours have you ever heard say (sometimes about their own children): man, if I had done "x," my mom/dad would have....(fill in the blank)! Nothing has been expected of these kids except for them to be "happy." What they haven't been exposed to is the fact that not only can happiness come from pleasant experiences, it can also come from other experiences, like hard work, struggle, adversity, etc. Try to explain to a young person these days about the satisfaction from a hard job well-done, and they'll have no idea what you're talking about. Anything that requires leaving an air conditioned room, equipped with a flat screen and an Xbox, couldn't be worthwhile.....and let's not even talk about a job (that would require missing out-of-state soccer games.) Likewise, Self-esteem has been "provided to" them, not "earned by" them. As a result, we have a whole generation or two of kids and young adults who believe that anything good in life is given to them, not earned by them....and the generations in the lower socioeconomic demographics simply demand those things.
And it's going to get worse and worse from here. MUCH worse.
The other problem I see is parents still supporting kids after college graduation. Kids are 3-4 months out of college and the parents are still helping them with their car insurance, cell phone bill, etc. Make them be adults. You can't support them forever.
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