Friday, March 4, 2011

Breaking: Irby in trouble

Update: Ok, the Kingfish has run down this story all afternoon. Here is what I have been able to find out from multiple sources. There was a family outing for Karen and Stuart's son that apparently included Karen's ex-husband and his kids. One of them just so happens to be an attractive teen-age girl. Mr. Irby superimposed her face on the body of a bikini-clad woman in a picture and sent it to her father. The father gave it to the girl's mom, who just happens to be a cop. I've been told no pornography is involved. Karen's ex-husband and Mr. Irby have gone at it before in court and in other um, forums. No love lost between the two.

Original post (March 3, 2011):

Police are searching Stuart Irby's house right now. Mr. Irby is supposedly on his way to turn himself into Madison as an arrest warrant has been issued for Mr. Irby for activities involving the internet. JJ can report local media is already on this story.

93 comments:

Ironghost said...

Think he'll face any actual trouble this time?

Jane said...

No fair reporting it without the juicy details. Some of us have no patience!

Anonymous said...

Im Shocked! Not.

KaptKangaroo said...

Here we go again!

J. Kev said...

The case involves the internet, a young female -- who may be the daughter of someone in law enforcement -- and salacious photographs. Possible photo-shopping.

This does NOT necessarily imply child pornography charges.

Anonymous said...

Wow... I am amazed...!!! Anxious to see how this plays out...

reximus said...

:popcorn

Anonymous said...

WLBT is reporting he was arrested for cyberstalking a minor.

Curt Crowley said...

Five bucks says Irby wins this one on a motion to quash.

Anonymous said...

How is that Curt?

Anonymous said...

The Charlie Sheen of central Mississippi, ladies and gentlemen!

Anonymous said...

Five bucks says he could pay another lawyer $400,000 to plead him guilty to the offense.

Anonymous said...

Can anyone really be surprised that this spoiled brat with no conscience will stoop to any lengths to entertain himself? Have seen him in many night clubs airing his entitlement to a particular parking place, an already occupied table, and harrassing the wait staff. What a supreme pompous ass.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but this seems fishy.

1) wife driving home, husband is passenger, car hits and kills 2 people

2) wife is prosecuted since she is the driver of the vehicle.

3) at sentencing, the family of the people killed in the accident ask the judge for leniency for the very person who was driving the car and killed their family members (that one always stuck in my craw)

4) judge sentences wife.

5) family members of those killed try to go after husband, who was not driving vehicle, but does have family money. Local authorities in Hinds county say no for various reasons.

6) family members of those killed go to the attorney general and tell him to go after husband. AG says no for various reasons.

7) all this time goes by and out of the blue----cyberstalking comes up associated with the husband. House in Jackson is searched, but JPD not there (Hinds county, who said there was nothing to prosecute.) Its Madison police, the sheriff, and the AG.

Just saying...

Anonymous said...

Just wait for it: We're going to hear from $10,000/hour hired "experts" (read: "doctors" who no patient should get near and are hired guns) that this is a behavior/personality change as a result of unspecified head injuries from the car accident.

If he gets out of these charges under a plea of not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect (aka "insanity" type affirmative defense), I HOPE HOPE HOPE he isn't able to finagle "treatment" at a facility of his choosing (read: expensive country club type location that promotes a 'healing millieu' by playing golf and going swimming) under the guise of saving the state the costs of his rehabilitation. Judge should go for Whitfield!

Anonymous said...

"The Charlie Sheen of central Mississippi, ladies and gentlemen!"

Yeah, a little bit Charlie, a little bit O.J.

Anonymous said...

3:27 Anonymous -- you seem to imply that the car crash victims' families (I can't remember how to spell both of their last names or else I would use them) have some sort of involvement in this, either for political or financial reasons.

First, I think that insinuation is in pretty poor taste. Second, these charges would have NO bearing on any sort of litigation - civil, criminal, or otherwise - involving Stuart and the victims' families. You've been watching too much Law & Order if you think that somehow this is a trick to get Stuart to pony up dough (or admit guilt or something ??) in the other case. Irrelevant.

Anonymous said...

Stuart Place is the hopping street today (former and current residents).

Anonymous said...

3:36 Anonymous
Not implying that the families have anything to do with this. I did note that I thought it was bizarre for them to ask for leniency at the sentencing of the person who drove a car and killed their family members. By simply reading news coverage of this story back then, they seemed to be a little persistent on going after the passenger of the vehicle. To this day, I still think that is odd.

Second, don't watch that TV show so your reference is lost on me. These charges would go a long way from a PR standpoint (get people talking about what a horrible person this guy is, etc).

Third, "these charges would have NO bearing on any sort of litigation". Didn't say they would. Do you think I'm the only one bringing up the car crash case? From reading the stories out there, every reporter is bringing up that case. Heck, look at some of the comments on this blog.

Anonymous said...

3:27, not fishy at all. He just got caught. What will be fishy is if he gets away with it.

Anonymous said...

So...Dale Danks moved to Madison and became a judge?

Anonymous said...

97-45-15. "Cyberstalking"; penalties.

(1) It is unlawful for a person to:

(a) Use in electronic mail or electronic communication any words or language threatening to inflict bodily harm to any person or to that person's child, sibling, spouse or dependent, or physical injury to the property of any person, or for the purpose of extorting money or other things of value from any person.

(b) Electronically mail or electronically communicate to another repeatedly, whether or not conversation ensues, for the purpose of threatening, terrifying or harassing any person.

(c) Electronically mail or electronically communicate to another and to knowingly make any false statement concerning death, injury, illness, disfigurement, indecent conduct, or criminal conduct of the person electronically mailed or of any member of the person's family or household with the intent to threaten, terrify or harass.

(d) Knowingly permit an electronic communication device under the person's control to be used for any purpose prohibited by this section.

(2) Whoever commits the offense of cyberstalking shall be punished, upon conviction:

(a) Except as provided herein, the person is guilty of a felony punishable by imprisonment for not more than two (2) years or a fine of not more than Five Thousand Dollars ($5,000.00), or both.

(b) If any of the following apply, the person is guilty of a felony punishable by imprisonment for not more than five (5) years or a fine of not more than Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000.00), or both:

(i) The offense is in violation of a restraining order and the person has received actual notice of that restraining order or posting the message is in violation of an injunction or preliminary injunction.

(ii) The offense is in violation of a condition of probation, a condition of parole, a condition of pretrial release or a condition of release on bond pending appeal.

(iii) The offense results in a credible threat being communicated to the victim, a member of the victim's family, or another individual living in the same household as the victim.

(iv) The person has been previously convicted of violating this section or a substantially similar law of another state, a political subdivision of another state, or of the United States.

(3) This section does not apply to any peaceable, nonviolent, or nonthreatening activity intended to express political views or to provide lawful information to others. This section shall not be construed to impair any constitutionally protected activity, including speech, protest or assembly.

Sources: Laws, 2003, ch. 562, § 6, eff from and after July 1, 2003.

Anonymous said...

Ch. 16 reported that JPD responded to a domestic violence call at Irby's house yesterday and a Ms. Lane or Lang complained that he had trashed her car. Whether charges or brought depends on whether the victim presses them.

Anonymous said...

Gayle Lang is Karen's mother.

Curt Crowley said...

3:08, I base that statement entirely on the cyberstalking statute itself. Tough case for the state, except in the most egregious cases.

Statute first enacted in 2003, and not a single prosecution has made its way to the Supreme Court.

3:12, that's harsh. Accuracy not disputed, though.

Anonymous said...

I have never said this before, but "OMG!"

Anonymous said...

Thank you Curt. The funny thing is that the definition of stalking in MS is so broad as to allow extreme abuse; especially when civil cases are pending. Under all codes, the problem is with the term "harassment"; it allows for a broad interpretation of emotional feelings, not concrete criminal definition of harm. I am curious to see where this one goes.

You want a specialty, go defend these types of cases and bring the civil suit on the backside. Cha-ching.

Anonymous said...

Oh, BTW, I base my belief above on the number of calls that come into the police over the scanner. Somebody said something to someone that is getting divorced and whala, in trouble city for ya.

I feel bad for the guys enforcing the law that have to deal with this shhheeeat.

Anonymous said...

Gotta love Curt's banner framing the Irby story over @ WLBT.

Anonymous said...

Stuart Pervy

Frugal Gal said...

He played photoshop with the teen daughter of his wife's ex-husband? And sent it to her dad? What a moron. Please jail him for being that stupid and that much of an ass.

Kingfish said...

If that truly is what he did, I think he deserves an ass-chewing or a punch in the nose from her dad, don't know if that is really cyber stalking.

Anonymous said...

Agree KF. Dumb ass and asshole move, but I can't see a felony here.

Anonymous said...

glad we finally got some good dirt to read about. I was getting bored shitless with redistricting. A re-post of the state cheerleader would really round out the week nicely.

Anonymous said...

Let's just see what turns up with the search warrant.

Anonymous said...

I think you all are missing what's really going on. An excuse to get into his computer and see what's there.

It's not about the teenage girl, a photoshop head on a body is done all the time. It' more about the images and threats that potentially will be found in the hard drive of his computer, against others.

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with Stuart is that his frontal lobe of his brain is damaged. This is the part of your noggin that tell you "don't do that moron." A classical example was the guy with the railroad spike that went through his head named Phineas Gage, who before the accident was a god fearing, rightous man. After the spike messed up his head he was frequently found publically masterbating. The problem with Irby is that prior to his wreck, he was a spoil, sociopathic, self-indulgent, womanizing, bipolor asshole, but now he has no way to hide his true character from the public. He needs to be committed to Whitfield or whatever other "high end" containment center for the rest of his life.

Anonymous said...

Stuart's behavior at the recent Bacchus Ball certainly was indicative of somebody who's out-of-control, just ask Con Maloney!

Anonymous said...

I am reading this with tears in my eyes because GI is the most precious kind little soul. He has been with Gayle since Christmas and I thought that was such a good thing that obviously Stuart and Gayle must be getting along on some cordial level for SI to allow Gayle to have GI. But reading this makes me think that if Gayle is willing to engage and fight with Stuart (rather than getting in her car and driving away) loud and bad enough that the cops have to be called then neither of them deserves to raise GI. So sad.

Anonymous said...

As stated before, this law is ripe for abuse. The AG was present during the search?

Anonymous said...

That precious little boy is missing a childhood of love and fun and just being a kid. What he is seeing now is it's OK to fight, hit, curse, act stupid, drink and how to visit your Mom in prison.

Next he will probably learn how to visit his father in a mental institution.

Why didn't they keep that precious child out-of-state? Karen's Mom is the root of many of the problems, originating in the birth and raising of Karen.

Anonymous said...

Why didn't they keep that precious child out-of-state? Karen's Mom is the root of many of the problems, originating in the birth and raising of Karen.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Give it a rest. Karen's mother is not the reason or cause for Stuart's stupidity.

Anonymous said...

I second.

Anonymous said...

Stuart can't help being crazy. What I hate is that, given the latest Supreme Court ruling on the crazies picketing funerals, apparently crazy people have free reign to inflict emotional damage and property damage on others.
We no longer have any protection against the insane...many of whom need to be permanently committed as they can't function in a civilized society.

Anonymous said...

7:34am "that if Gayle is willing to engage and fight with Stuart (rather than getting in her car and driving away) loud and bad enough that the cops have to be called then neither of them deserves to raise GI."

Gee.....Here we go again trying to blame the Grandmother. Were you there? Did you see what happend or are you just assuming Ms. Lang wanted to engage and fight with Stuart?

Anonymous said...

I was thinking about the sad state of affairs and wondering why Stu left Arkansas? He is obviously a pariah here.

It is difficult to understand why continues with his antics around town.

Why not move to Florida?

The last place I would be, if I were him, is Jackson, MS. All that lies here for him are problems of the past.

So sad.

Mark Geoffriau said...

9:47 -- Somehow I doubt Mr. Irby's alleged actions fall into the category of political protest.

Anonymous said...

Since when did photoshopping become a crime?

Anonymous said...

I suspect Stuart's family can't do much with him. He's a loose cannon, and nothing good is going to come from him hanging around anywhere. One day he's going to do something his money can't buy his way out of. So very sad particularly for the minor child. Thank goodness he has a loving Grandmother and his sister both who he loves very much. I feel for Ms. Lang having to deal with Stuart. It can't be easy.

Anonymous said...

Don't you mean, Loving fighting screaming Gramma.

Anonymous said...

If he sent the photo to the father, an adult, why all the talk of cyberstalking a teenage girl?

Anonymous said...

12:42...seriously?

Anonymous said...

I heard that he just boarded his private plane headed to Destin to hang out with Claiborne and Tal B. These guys are fit for each other.

Anonymous said...

I just can't figure out why on earth he'd send the stupid thing to the girl's DADDY!?!?! to begin with. Does he have a death wish? Why didn't her daddy blow SI's brains out for even THINKING of his daughter in that way?

Anonymous said...

sounds like illegal search.

what crime is it to superimpose
a face over a person in a swimsuit?

and why would Madison police serve a warrant in Hinds.???

The fact that there is bad history between the two adults suggest that madison police better hope that they werent used.

Anonymous said...

Question: Would ANY of the men on this board have done what he did? And send to the girl's Daddy who you have bad blood with on a good day? What was his purpose if not to start something?

Anonymous said...

The question isn't whether any of us would do something like this, but the question is whether doing that is a crime.

Anonymous said...

I say have the girls' dad work him over and then when he gets through, let her mom (the cop) pepper spray and tase him! All I ask is that they video it and post it on YouTube. WHAT A PUTZ!!!

Anonymous said...

Crime or not, it deserves an ass whoopin at the very least. I agree with 2:07!

Anonymous said...

1:10

Because he *wanted* the girls daddy to know he was thinking about her that way. It was a very immature 'neener neener'. That may have backfired.

What better way to 'get' a fully grown man than make some sort of lewd gesture at his minor daughter? Although, you're right, in the south that might get you ventilated.

Anonymous said...

I wish someone would make a Jib-Jab-like animation with Stuart's mug shot and cop mom with Stuart saying "Don't taze me, ho' "

Anonymous said...

2:17 not just in the south

Frugal Gal said...

If it's not a crime, it ought to be.

Dude takes the image of one of my teenage neices and photoshops her face on the body of some half-naked swimsuit model? HELL NO. That's using technology to turn a minor child into a sex object. That's not photoshopping fun, that's basically saying "I'm pictuing your little girl naked."

If I'm that cop momma, I start thinking of using his "other head" for target practice.

Anonymous said...

2:30 PM that just might get you arrested for cyberstalking. ;)

Anonymous said...

So if I paste a picture of, say, a 17 year old girl's head on the body of someone in a bikini, I should go to jail? I thought you conservatives didn't believe in government overreach?

Anonymous said...

This just in! Tal Braddock has just been retained to serve as co-counsel on behalf of Mr. Stuart Irby in this case.

Anonymous said...

Stu, D T S. dumber than s**t!

Anonymous said...

this is not the right crime to charge him with, as I don't think it fits the elements. it sounds more like a case of menacing to me.

Anonymous said...

4:08 PM, that's too funny! Poor old Tal. He needs to find a job he where he can be productive and not a danger to the general public. Anybody have any ideas?

Anonymous said...

KF, your stories and the comments you get is one of the reasons my house is such a fricken pit! There's just so much interesting reading, and I have a hard time in breaking away to do laundry or scrub a toilet. I really need a maid.

Anonymous said...

He is rich and goes to First Pres in Jackson. Leave him alone, he is on the list.

Anonymous said...

6:02PM, According to the Hattiesburg paper Tal filed qualifying papers to run for County Attorney in Lamar County, but then 24 hours later he withdrew. Now that is what you call hysterical.

Anonymous said...

6:02PM,you gotta be kidding? Whacha think he was on?

Anonymous said...

a few observations, first: Donna Ladd has been quiet about the child burned alive. I wonder if white flight and subliminal racism drove the poor black mother to put her child in a fucking oven and burn him to death concentration camp style. Second: When are you going to do a story KF on the moneymaking machine that is Pinelake Church. Seriously, Chip Henderson needs your attention. Third: Claiborne, Austin, and Spencer are all fucking rat bastards and need to be in prison, but they and Tallywacker don't have diddlyshit to do with Stuart Irby, other than the fact that they to are spoil wealthy assholes.
Fourth: The douche known as Kaptain Kangaroo is a total dipshit. Enough said.

KaptKangaroo said...

Ah...9:30PM; I do take your rant with the full weight of the viral you intend. You do know I am a parody, right?

Your only point of worth regarded Mr. Chip. While I would love to tell the world to look into things that I disagree with; I find that the best advise is for you to start your own blog.

Next, douche is close to touche; so, I really don't take offense, rather, I take the time to consider your offensive words and calmly respond.

As for this particular post, I'm of the opinion, we are watching a soap opera replete with a$$ holes like you. Thank you for your time, would you like fries with that?

Anonymous said...

well, at least we agree Chip is a Jim Jonesesque false messiah. Praise be from Chip from whom all blessings flow.....I wonder how much he is really making at the end of a year beaming his image to all those lucrative branches??

Auburn Rat said...

I have just returned from jfp! Don't worry I am fine.

The head banner concerns a bike trail and an editorial about the shrinking consrvadems and conservatives in the most conservative state in the union, I must add. Tom head has made reference to the shrinking white majority in the state in a post of his own. Never mind that the black minority did not grow at all! This would tell me that the white majority actually grew instead of shrank as it did not change either. I know this sounds odd but, I say it grew enough to keep it the same.

I am knocked quiet about little stuey! What other disgrace can he bring down on that fine family! And I am not being cute here. Time for a 72 hour hold! But send him to Emory and get him away from Jackson, he can't be helped there as they are too well connected in the whole medical community. And also you guys do not need to be terrorized by him anymore.

Anonymous said...

6:02pm Tal would be really good at shoveling manure. He's been doing it for years.

Anonymous said...

The bulk of Chip Henderson's income over the last several years came from real estate deals that were brokered within the church...by members of the church, who only did business with those in the church...and of course the young pastor well deserved these "tythes" that were paid him in a variety of ways...His home is awesome, and very large and valuable...good for him. The "Lord" has blessed him beyond measure! Along with a large handful of other members of the Pinelake Baptist church. But whats most comical to me about Pinelake, other than the fact that so many people buy into Chip's bullshit, is that probably 60% or more of the congregation dress as though they are attending a concert on Sat night rather than Sunday church...or could it be that a vast majority just didn't have time to change from their drunken stupure the night before?

Auburn Rat said...

Oh and I was posting as extension of anon9:30pm. I to visit the jfp. I do like the site and I do think donnerk is a fine journalist. She is a bit too far to the left for me and the ideology is just not something I can get a gip on. I really like kingfish jamba site and feel most comfortable here. The bigger y'all politic is too politically bases for me to comment as I am not really political. Now before someone yells tmi and "this is not match.com" I'll chill. One more thing......I do like the captains posts. Touché and ta ta........

Anonymous said...

Me thinks me needs some hair products...

Auburn Rat said...

Sounds like creflo dollar and bishop Eddie over here! What about all the people in the church that haven't been blessed yet? WAIT UPON THE LORD! PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN, I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!

how little then world changes.....

Anonymous said...

if the public really knew how much money Chip Henderson made, they would throw up. Jesus shouldn't be a moneymaker.

Anonymous said...

But Chip isn't Jesus and has never claimed to be. He can be credited however with playing a tremedous role in bringing people to Christ.....me included. Millions of pinelake dollars are used all over the world to spread the word and bring others to salvation. You guys have gotten mighty off track here and as a regular reader here and often annonymous poster I feel obligated to give my two cents worth.

Mary Ann Kirby

Wiley Coyote said...

Someone ought to photoshop SI's head onto a Jackass's body!

Kingfish said...

OK, I've let you clowns hijack the thread for awhile. Hijacking is over. No more comments about Pine Lake will be approved. Period.

Anonymous said...

Stuart is going to be crazy wherever he is. Sending him to Ark. or Fla. won't change his behavior. Crazy people get fixations and , apparently, if they are political or religious ideations, they get their own show and/or Supreme Court protection. But, in any case, they make the pursuit of happiness impossible for those who are at the center of their crazy fantasy world.

Anonymous said...

All I know is, if I were that girl's daddy (or mama) he wouldn't have a 'center' to fixate on anymore and the only call I'd have made to the law was to tell them where his pieces were after I tore him limb from limb. You just don't 'DO' that to somebody's teenage daughter's picture. What ever happened to the 'gimmie's' in the world? You know, the things we all just 'knew' not to do?

Anonymous said...

Check out Claiborne's mug shot in Destin! HA HA

Kingfish said...

Where do I find it?

Anonymous said...

People are still talking about how strange it is that the families of the 2 doctors killed are trying their best to go after Stuart. The families seem to be very smart people. Did anyone ever think that they may know the whole story and they want Justice. Their lawyers won't let them speak. Not all evidence I'm sure was given to the press and the general public. They seem to be smart people. Doesn't anyone think, maybe the sheriffs office did not look at all the evidence. Remember Stuart paid for Karens lawyer. Who do you think was going to jail?
Carma is a bitch. Just maybe Stuarts family will get tired of bailing him out and get rid of the black cloud that they call a family member.

Anonymous said...

And Karen is still married to him!

Anonymous said...

S & K Irby kill two people. K gets sentenced to jail. S walks. Most people know the surface of circumstances surrounding this tragedy. S "claims" he didn't remember a thing about the tragedy. So I must be missing something here: Why didn't K simply testify S grabbed the wheel and why didn't an attorney worth a shit (such as a B. Kirk@#@) defend her under such a scenario? Too late now I imagine. Or is it?



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.