Jackson Jambalaya

I am one of the few who doesn't like this book. I quit reading about 1/4 the way through. I lived in Jackson in the 60s. I didn't know women who treated their maids like that. I get the inferences and similarities, but the characterizations were exagerated. I was raised with maids and had them myself. Most of the ones I knew had too much dignity to put trash in the food. Still I will read with some interest other comments.

Waste of time book.

Awful book and probably more awful movie.

As a child, our maid was really my second mother and treated us as her own family and we did the same to her. My Mom even wanted our maid to move with us when we had to go live about 4 hours away. She would have, too, except for the fact her youngest child was still in high school at the time.

I like the book. It represents the south much better than the Jersey Shore represents their folk!

Was it written by Jerry Mitchell?

I thought it was more about the relationships between women...those who are supportive of one another versus those who are competitive and those who are toxic .

I think if women are honest, they will admit to having known or observed a " Hilly" in their lives. And, I think that is why the book came popular. Women I know from " somewhere else" talk about Hilly and her wimpy followers, not about the racial aspects.

Gossip Girls on TV is much the same sort of storyline.

That there are those who treat their employees with respect and those who do not , then and now, is just a fact of life.

That some employees or minority members are more sensitive and reactive to disrespectful treatment seems to me also a fact of life.

Indeed,there is a lesson to be learned for those who are overly demanding and unpleasant when dining in restaurants.

That there were maid's " quarters" in many homes in the past is also just a fact of life. That was true in other parts of the country as well. Our maid had separate quarters above the garage.

That some suspect certain groups of people as being less sanitary in their personal care than others is also true. That some of the perceived risks are mythical is also true. That is why some public toilets to this day have automatic plastic covering.

I do not think it serves us well to be defensive about this book or our past. Our attitude should be to shrug and say, " Yeah, some people held strange notions back then and some still do about other things today. So what? We live and learn. You didn't have any unenlightened folks in YOUR town?"

And, it seems if we truly are that outraged, we shouldn't be willing to profit from and participate in, the movie.

It's "a big deal" only if we make it so. Salem doesn't get bent out of shape everytime there's something about Salem witches.

Like some of you, I was raised in many ways by the family maid. We stayed in touch until her death and there is no doubt in my mind that there was a shared love. But there is also no doubt in my mind that when she worked for my family in the 50s and 60s there was a divide centered on race not just relative financial means and education. When I was a teen we moved into my parents "dream home" which included a "servant's bathroom" within the garage. At best the relationship between our family and our beloved maid was paternal not equal. The Help tries. often imperfectly, to show us what being on the other side of the racial divide looked like and felt like. That's an uncomfortable place for many of us to visit as it explodes myths we have clung to tenaciously since childhood about how good "we" were to "them." We all prefer stories that confirm our myths not undermine them and tend to reject stories that do not. Small wonder that some were not able to get through the book and had to put it aside.

I never knew anyone who treated there "help" like that. Most of these women were part of the first two income households in the South. Husband and Wife worked to keep there house and home together. He, usually, on hard manual labor and she in a white families home. That was the case in the home I grew up in on the end of Wild Valley Drive (BTF79). Her name was "Ella" and she raised me from a Baby. And my Brother and my Sister. And my Mother and Aunt from the time they were Eight and Six. Like 1940 was the start date of her association with my family. My best friend Nat Sampson had is his home a kind Black lady named Matty. And on and on. We teated her with the utmost respect, we knew her wishes and her sorrows. She did not use a separate bathroom and there were three to choose from. But then Truth is stranger than fiction, is it not?

While renovating our home in Woodland Hills last year, imagine our surprise when we came upon the remnants of the "black bathroom"!! And we still have the doorbell the maid had to use on the garage door. Eerie....... and loved the book!

Haven't read it, grew up too poor to hire help. Waste of time.

Can't we all just get along?

I think this book proliferates the negative image the rest of the world has about Mississippi. I think that Stockett has found a way to profit off of this cliche racist Mississippi storyline. It is very convenient for her that she resides in Atlanta where she will not have to deal with any of the fall out when the movie comes out. Stockett should give all the proceeds of the book to Habitat for Humanity or the Junior League of Jackson so that these charitable institutions can continue to improve life for those in need in Jackson. I absolutely hated the book!

Couldn't finish the book, and not because it hit home. I found it boring and the plot seemed to get bogged down in its own self-importance.

Other than that, I will say that there are a few leaguers that the story could be based on (present-day active members). I have no knowledge about the League in the 60's, wasn't born yet.

I think this book proliferates the negative image the rest of the world has about Mississippi.


Exactly.....

I happened to catch this last week and thought it was good story about the 'help.'

http://thestory.org/archive/the_story_1144_Hays_and_Cousin.mp3/view

If you keep picking off the scab, the wound never heals. Ms Stockett is an ace scab picker.

For 40 years, too many Mississippians have been sensitive to their " negative image".
It's not working.
Admit that many mistakes were made in the 60's, bad things happened and MOVE ON.
You make excuses and whine and others think you haven't learned from past mistakes.
Acknowledge the mistakes, say you hate those things happened and vow not to allow such things to happen again.
You rationalize, defend, deny and people think you haven't changed a bit.

I've held off any comment on this because frankly, the woman that helped my family while both my parents worked 20 hour days with three children was black. It is appalling to me that I have to justify my love for her because of guilt by others. Anyone critical of race in a loving family should be ashamed to bring up Mississippi and its heritage to criticize folks DOING THE RIGHT THING years ago before it became an "activist issue" here around town.

And for the record she was not a maid, she was a member of my family, her own mother and children were our family. To generalize a few as the majority is wrong.

8:43
Many of us loved those who cared for us in the same way you describe. I also believe the love was mutual in that most of these wonderful women saw us as innocent children.
But, it has occurred to me that all the hours spent with me and my siblings were hours she didn't spend with HER family and friends. It has also occurred to me that as generous as my father was to our " help" and her family,there is no such thing as adequate compensation for missing out on time with one's own family or tending to one's own family's needs.

Those were the times and given the limited opportunities our " help" had, the alternatives were often worse. So, I even believe that our " help" was grateful to have work and have that work be for a family that showed appreciation.
But, we can't idealize this and ignore the ugly realities of what that meant for those we claim to love...the price they paid.
I'm glad our " help" lived long enough for us to talk about this and I listened. It was enlightening. We cried together. I had no idea what burdens she carried. She didn't blame ME or my family or have hostility, but rather was glad to think she helped raise someone who was compassionate enough to see her sacrifice.
I miss her everyday as I've never known a wiser, stronger, more tireless, more loving or capable woman.

9:05, that logic could be applied to any "job club", not just, ahem, "help". We all work to pay the bills. Well, most of us do.

8:43 AM I think you missed my point. If you had indentured servants then yes your argument is on target, but I am more of the 11:39AM opinion.

Previous post was meant to be FROM 8:43 AM....sorry.

Should have read...

9:05 AM I think you missed my point. If you had indentured servants then yes your argument is on target, but I am more of the 11:39AM opinion.

I don't know your ages 4:26 or 11:39 but I think you are assuming maids worked from 9-5 with some overtime like now. And, you are confusing the affluent with full time " help" and their grown children following the same life style ( which the book is about) and those who were working middle to upper middle class.

The " help" were often there to fix breakfast and stayed to make, supper and clean up the kitchen afterwards and got the children ready for bed. If the family entertained, the maid was there to clean up after the guests left. They worked weekends and holidays as the family demanded and looked after the children and did all the work at family vacation homes. They baby sat when the parents went out. They were paid less than minimum wage with no benefits.

They were not paying for others to look after their children in some joint effort or forming " job clubs". If they were lucky, their mother or an " auntie" who had become to old to work cared for their children, older siblings watched younger ones or else their unemployed/underemployed husband did.

There were maids quarters because the maids often didn't go to their home at all.

Very few married white women with children worked outside the home and those who did needed the money and so few had a FULL time maid.

That you equate any job held today ( possible exception some illegals but their cultural pattern is entirely different with many in one dwelling and a patron )with the situation maids had before the civil rights era is just not even close to being comparable.

Uh, no 7:43PM, not confused; today they are called nannies. And your attempt to compare it to illegals is way off base. But then this is an open thread.

And finally, 7:43PM did you grow up on a plantation in suburban Jackson, b/c it sure does sound that way. Not that there is anything wrong with it, just wondering. The past is the past, I certainly pray that you/we learn from it and improve.

To continue to extrapolate the situation you describe to the general populace and majority experience and try to derive a sense of guilt from the majority is wrong.

Nannies don't usually do the cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, AND child care. Live in nannies are usually SINGLE without children of their own. They don't have their own homes and families they maintain elsewhere if they have room and board with you. Your nanny isn't cooking much of your Thanksgiving dinner and serving your guests either.

If you aren't paying social security and taxes for your nanny or maid, you are now breaking the law and can be penalized. If you are paying less than minimum wage for a full time employee, you can also be held accountable. And, yes, I know many who aren't paying help on the books as I write but at least, SOME are.

The book under discussion is NOT about the general populace. It IS about the privileged class. Yes, I grew up privileged and though still considered privileged today( including by the IRS), I cannot afford the full time " help" my parents or grandparents enjoyed. Perhaps, that's why I " get" it. I know only a very few who currently have that level of " help" and it is usually provided by more than one person and there are either two successful parents working or inherited wealth or extreme wealth. I can't think of anyone with full time help who has that help more than 8 hours a day without paying extra on rare occasions.

Guilt production is not my aim but rather to describe the reality for some that seems to be denied in some comments.


The comparison to illegals was only in the exploitation of expecting long hours for less than the accepted fair wage for all but a specific group of workers identified by race/ethnicity.

I don't feel guilty about the past . I wasn't a responsible adult then. But, I don't try to pretend it didn't happen or justify it or suggest it is comparable to today.

In defensiveness, rationalization, etc, it appears to others that we think things were just hunky dory in the past and would return to those days if we could. THAT'S why our negative image continues.

Why is it so hard to just say, " It wasn't fair or just to treat people unfairly and take advantage like we did back then. We get it"? Let's point out that sweat shops and child labor, and company towns where workers were indebted to the mill stores in the North were no better

Indeed,let's say we get it SO well, we don't think some of our current practices where CEOs run a company into the ground, put people out of work but get big bucks is much of an improvement.

Nannies don't usually do the cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, AND child care. Live in nannies are usually SINGLE without children of their own. They don't have their own homes and families they maintain elsewhere if they have room and board with you. Your nanny isn't cooking much of your Thanksgiving dinner and serving your guests either.

If you aren't paying social security and taxes for your nanny or maid, you are now breaking the law and can be penalized. If you are paying less than minimum wage for a full time employee, you can also be held accountable. And, yes, I know many who aren't paying help on the books as I write but at least, SOME are.

The book under discussion is NOT about the general populace. It IS about the privileged class. Yes, I grew up privileged and though still considered privileged today( including by the IRS), I cannot afford the full time " help" my parents or grandparents enjoyed. Perhaps, that's why I " get" it. I know only a very few who currently have that level of " help" and it is usually provided by more than one person and there are either two successful parents working or inherited wealth or extreme wealth. I can't think of anyone with full time help who has that help more than 8 hours a day without paying extra on rare occasions.

Guilt production is not my aim but rather to describe the reality for some that seems to be denied in some comments.


The comparison to illegals was only in the exploitation of expecting long hours for less than the accepted fair wage for all but a specific group of workers identified by race/ethnicity.

I don't feel guilty about the past . I wasn't a responsible adult then. But, I don't try to pretend it didn't happen or justify it or suggest it is comparable to today.

In defensiveness, rationalization, etc, it appears to others that we think things were just hunky dory in the past and would return to those days if we could. THAT'S why our negative image continues.

Why is it so hard to just say, " It wasn't fair or just to treat people unfairly and take advantage like we did back then. We get it"? Let's point out that sweat shops and child labor, and company towns where workers were indebted to the mill stores in the North were no better

Indeed,let's say we get it SO well, we don't think some of our current practices where CEOs run a company into the ground, put people out of work but get big bucks is much of an improvement.

You are right...on to another thread.

Lulz.

How lovely... someone has admitted being a troll.
I wonder if our politicians are trolls as well as they say and do equally stupid things believed or excused by the gullible?

Actually, I see no value in debating the mundane maid stories and the ladies of privilege.

Wonderful book.
My mom had to work outside of the home in the 1960s,70s and 80s. The black lady that raised me was wonderful - she loved me and my family loved her. She did light house cleaning and cooked one meal a day because her main job was to look after me!
She was a member of our family and our family looked after her until her death at age 90.

To ANSWER Kingfish's question:

Irby!
Holeman
Hederman
East
Barnett

I don't understand the book's popularity. The dialect and one-dimensional characters made it practically unreadable. Maybe a good editor could have pulled it together, but I'm not sure it would have been worth the trouble.

BTW, I'd be interested in hearing what African-American readers think of this book, though I can't imagine why they'd pick it up in the first place.

As an African-American woman who was "the help" (with a lowercase h) for many years, I know for a fact that everyone of us did, on occasion, spit into the food or drink of those for whom we cared. And we laughed about it!

It didn't matter how well we loved or were loved by our white families. It was a tiny exertion of power, that we were not owned body and soul, by those who paid us.

I'm sure it happens world-wide in every arena where food and drink is served. Think twice before you treat a waiter badly.

Hello. I'm a producer for a newsmagazine tv show in New York and would love to talk with people about their reaction to this book. If you're open, please email me at
c.weinraub@gmail.com

THANKS