Monday, January 4, 2010

Food Fight!!!

Well, they just couldn't resist. The Jackson Free Press just had to go after Alan Lange's book, Kings of Tort. Let the games begin. Lynch goes after the Minor prosecution, the Republicans running the Justice Department, the chamber of commerce and almost every other goblin that makes him wet his bed at night but strangely avoids any mention of the Scruggs scandal in his "critical" review of a book that is mainly about the.......Scruggs scandal.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

And with the readership of the Fondren Bugle, be afraid, be very afraid.

NOT.

Paul Mitchell said...

I cannot believe you continue to try to force me to read that crazy crap. Ignore Ladd and her cult, everyone else does.

Kingfish said...

This is humor, dude, humor.

Paul Mitchell said...

I know it, the "free press" has always been humor. And my favorite part? Ladd thinks her readers are smart. Well, compared to concrete, fruits, and processed meat products, they are. Well, sorta.

Kingfish said...

You know, I read that piece and I'm wondering WHY they ignore Scruggs when most of the book is about Scruggs. I mean, that review Lynch wrote could've been written by Paul Minor's defense attorney.

I'm also tired of seeing Dawson taking hits for writing a book. Presidents, Attorney Generals, CIA agents, FBI agents, FBI directors, congressmen, staffers, and other government officials write them all the time and suddenly we are worried about a lawyer in the justice department do it? Now if you want to make a case that the JD should screen books written by former employees that is fine and I agree with it but what he did is no different than any other government official or politician that wrote about his experiences and made a profit from it after he left office.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else notice that Jeff Good's outfit stopped advertising online with them after this issue came out? Odd.

Anonymous said...

Problem is Fish it is a terribly written book. Awful.

Kingfish said...

Haven't read it. I've gotten it but I am reading Gasparino's book, The Sellout, right now as well as Max Boot's latest. It's next up after those two.

Anonymous said...

Attention: Inmate No. 12930-042 has reported!

Anonymous said...

For someone who hasn't read the damn book, Ladd sure is opinionated about it. I guess that's her deal.

Hookah said...

Ladd is pissed cuz her writing classes aren't listed in the "thank you" section.

Anonymous said...

You obviously haven't read even an excerpt of the book 6:37PM. Lange would have benefited from every bit of personal advice he could glean.

Anonymous said...

The book is on its second PRINTING. Read that and WEEP.

Write it DOWN, It WILL be a movie.

Anonymous said...

Second printing of a self-published book means nothing because a print run can be of any size. How many copies has it sold?

Anonymous said...

The actual quality of the book aside, it was a good promotional effort by Lange. He got the book out quickly and right before the holidays, and also promoted it heavily. Now he's being quoted as "author Alan Lange" in the C-L. He's definitely raised his profile. He shoulc have spent some money on jacket design, though. A generic cover.

Anonymous said...

So what. The C-L quotes Matt Steffey as if he is a famous nationally renowned legal scholar.

Paul Mitchell said...

And the C-L actually publishes articles from Bill Minor and employ Ronnie Agnew and David Hampton. The only way that it could be worse is if they hired Donna Ladd.



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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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