Thursday, January 8, 2026

Will Jackson Academy Retaliation Lawsuit Turn Into an Arbitration Quagmire?

 JJ's breaking the news of a lawsuit filed against Jackson Academy for retaliation against a family for questioning whether the school was recruiting set off a media frenzy yesterday as all three tv stations, Tik-Tokkers, and even ESPN radio's Jake Wimberly covered the story.  

Jason and Carolyn Voyles had a son who began his education in kindergarten at JA and was going to enter the tenth grade at the Northeast Jackson private school.  Mr. Voyles noticed more students were transferring to JA that just happened to be athletes.  He compiled a list of the students through publicly available information and share it with two friends.  Of course, this being 2025 means nothing stays private if shared.  

The list proved to be prophetic as four blue chip players transferred from Clinton High School to Jackson Academy during the summer.  Two of the players have signed with the University of Tennessee.  The football team went 11-1, winning the MAIS 4A state champeenship as the team averaged 41 points per game, destroying one and all who opposed it on the gridiron.  

The lawsuit alleges JA Headmaster Eric Wettech met with the Voyles in May 2025 and informed the couple their son would not be allowed to continue attending Jackson Academy.  The Voyles sued the school  and Headmaster in Hinds County Court Tuesday, alleging breach of contract and damages.  The Voyles sought repayment of all eleven years of their son's tuition as well.  Earlier post with copy of complaint.


The complaint included a copy of the Jackson Academy contract.  The contract includes an arbitration clause: 

Any and all disputes of any type whatsoever between Jackson Academy, parents/guardians, and/or student shall be resolved by binding arbitration in accordance with the Federal Arbitration Act, Title 9 of the U.S. Code and the Commercial Arbitration Rules and Mediation Procedures of the American Arbitration Association (as amended and effective September 1, 2022). Parents/guardians and/or students expressly waive their right to a trial by jury. All defenses, including those defenses based on statutes of limitation, estoppel, waiver, !aches, and similar doctrines, that would otherwise be applicable to an action brought by a party, shall be applicable in such arbitration proceeding. Notwithstanding the foregoing, the parents and/or guardians agree that Jackson Academy shall have the right, but not the obligation, to submit and pursue in a court of law any claim against the Parents and/or Guardians for a debt due. No provision of, nor the exercise of any rights under this section, shall limit the School's right to collect on any judgment obtained against any parent and/or guardian under any means available under Mississippi law. The arbitrator may not award punitive damages, treble damages, penalties, or attorney's fees. Each party shall bear its own costs associated with any arbitration proceeding.

The lawsuit may not be going anywhere for awhile. It is a safe bet Jackson Academy will file a motion to compel arbitration.  The Voyles's lawyer, Grafton Bragg, undoubtedly knows this and has something in mind to defeat such a motion.  

The case is assigned to County Court Judge Yemi King.  It would not be a surprise if a losing party files an interlocutory appeal with the Mississippi Supreme  Court after Judge King adjudicates a motion to compel arbitration.  This will undoubtedly string the case out some more before it ever reaches discovery.  

Why would Jackson Academy try to prevent discovery? If discovery occurs, the plaintiffs will likely ask for enrollment records for transfers, including who paid for their tuition.   The school will be loathe to provide such information under subpoena.  Thus iit will probably pull out all the legal stops to prevent discovery from taking place.  

Get some beer and popcorn folks, we may be here a while.  


Kingfish note: The contract mentions by-laws.  Are the parents actually allowed to look at the by-laws or get a copy? 


78 comments:

Anonymous said...

If this were really about academics only a few people would even be interested. But if a rival school appears poised to kick ass on the field or if some brat will never score a touchdown despite dad's money, all hell breaks loose. We should have better things to do. Me too.

Anonymous said...

“Breaking news” huh - it’s pretty clear where KF is getting his information. Did he happen to just check MEC and stumble upon the lawsuit or is he being fed info from the parties?

Quit being in a hurry to get a scoop, KF. Clean up your typos and get your facts straight. The two kids who committed to Tennessee have been at JA since 8th and 9th grade.

Anonymous said...

The local media get many of their leads from KF. Right CJ?

Anonymous said...

In the long run JA will win no matter what happens in court. They will win because they are riding the national tide and their opponents are trying to hold to the past for personal reasons. In Mississippi we should know by now that's a losing battle.

Anonymous said...

Can JA point out any high school that has brought in so many highly rated recruits in one school year that wasn’t as rising 9th graders, not including IMG in Florida?

JA, y’all look awfully stupid right now.

I’m not a Prep, MRA, Hillcrest, etc. person. Just a Jackson person.

Anonymous said...

Grafton Bragg. What a bougie name.
I'm sure a judge who went to Provine and Tugaloo, then Thurgood Marshall Law School will be thrilled to handle a case that amounts to a fight amongst uber rich whiteys.

Anonymous said...

Would not winning a MAIS title really be so bad as to avoid all of this drama? Whether Voyles is a jerk or not is irrelevant. The school pulled some shenanigans to get ringers for sports. They aren't the first and won't be the last but don't get your boxers in a twist when you get called out for it.

JA leadership isn't thinking ahead to where the number of families who are able and willing to pay their tuition and have their children in school at that location is dwindling. There are better options out there in better locations.

Anonymous said...

Good luck! Getting by-laws from a school is difficult to say the least, imo! Wonder why that is?

Anonymous said...

There is discovery in arbitration, too. It’s very similar to a typical lawsuit, only before a private arbitrator rather than a judge/jury. All other aspects are often practically unchanged.

Anonymous said...

This will get settled out of court. JA will be more nuanced in tamping down dissent from now on. Nothing will change on the recruiting front at Hartfield or JA. JA will lose families to Prep and MRA. JA and Hartfield will be the athletic’s schools and MRA/Prep will be the well rounded schools that will not normally win big in the big three sports. JA will be the Jackson school that demographics wise will look a lot like Jackson and Hartfield will continue to be a mega-church like school that focuses on sports.

Kingfish said...

Uh huh. I check MEC on a regular basis. Only other reporter who does is Anthony Warren. some of you have so little respect for me you can't believe in your own minds I can come up with something on my own.

As for misreporting the two players, going by what Mississippi Scoreboard reported.

Anonymous said...

@11:47 JA is already losing students to those schools. And it is laughable that JA will ever look like the demographics of Jackson.

Anonymous said...

JA riding a national tide? What in the hell does that even mean?

Anonymous said...

11:47, when did you move to town? Prep (as far back as the Murrah boys) and MRA are the recruiters. JA is late to the show.

King, his name is Eddie.

Anonymous said...

@11:47 - go check a phonics/grammar book out of the MRA library. They’re next to the coloring books.

Anonymous said...

Public and private schools both recruit heavily. I remember the good ole days when one school would play another, and it was actually kids from one town versus kids from the other town. One team won and the other team lost.

Anonymous said...

12:03 The private schools that dominate the national prep scene in sports have created nationwide recognition while maintaining reputations for better than average academics. In many cases they are Catholic powerhouses but typically they are all well financed private enclaves. Mississippi's private schools, outside the church affiliates, were mainly established to maintain segregation but now find themselves able to enter the national spotlight if they so choose, and if they have the money. JA has the money. A few others also have the cash and they will follow. Just watch.

Anonymous said...

Did he happen to just check MEC and stumble upon the lawsuit ...

You're obviously new around these parts. KF's been breaking news and publishing scoops before the local and state media for nearly 19 years.

You don't have a f'ing clue. Grow a set.

Anonymous said...

You are full of shit 11:20. The junior linebacker and senior QUARTERBACK are 2 of 5 kids to a single (loudmouth in the stands) mom in Clinton, living in an apartment. They transferred to JA the QUARTERBACK'S senior year....why would you either lie like this, or post bullshit that is not correct?

Anonymous said...

You wanna bet? NE Jxn is collapsing to overwhelming "diversity". Neighborhoods are changing fast. Trash, litter loud music, speeding, skid marks, late night "parties", gunshots and crime now everywhere. JA WILL be the school of choice for blacks that have money and white families that resist or are turned off by the "changing culture" will simply leave.

Anonymous said...

College football programs are the latest vanity projects of billionaires.

Apparently, high school programs are now accessories for local millionaires, kind of like the way socialites used to carry around Chihuahuas in their purses.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the provisions re atty fees and penalties are enforceable. I think this arbitration provision could be held to be unenforceable as it’s written.

thelaw said...

A motion to compel arbitration is 100% coming. You can bet your life savings on that. But I'll throw a little gasoline on the fire to keep it interesting. There are some plausible arguments here to challenge the enforceability of the arbitration clause. Two strains of unconscionability are recognized--procedural and substantive. On the procedural side, there's a handful of factors to consider. The enrollment agreement is likely a contract of adhesion (i.e., the school has superior bargaining power). Also, the arbitration provision does not visually stand out amongst the other provisions (e.g., no FULL CAPS, size differential, special typography, etc.). This is important because our courts consider whether "inconspicuous print" is used. There is no "neutral construction clause" negating contra proferentem (hence, this contract will be construed against the drafter, i.e., the school). As to the substantive unconscionability, our courts have held the "disparities in the rights of contracting parties must not be so one-sided and unreasonably favor the drafter" of the contract (i.e., the school). JA carved out a provision in the arbitration clause that allows the school to bring a debt-collection action against the parents "in a court of law" and outside of arbitration (slightly one-sided, eh?). Who knows which arguments might prevail. But JA messed up on one other little detail in their arbitration clause. All of the questions I have raised will likely be decided in court (before the case is sent to arbitration). Why, you ask? Because the contract could have had a provision that states the parties agree the arbitrator gets to decide the enforceability/unconscionability arguments (meaning it would get kicked to arbitration immediately even if it was unenforceable). However, our courts have held this type of arrangement will not be inferred. The contract must "clearly and unmistakably" state that the arbitrator decides enforceability. Where it doesn't, the case stays in court until these issues are resolved by the judge. So I suspect we will see some court action before this case is roundhoused into arbitration. Which I appreciate. Our founders thought open judicial proceedings were so important that they included an "Open Courts" provision in our State Constitution. See, MS Const. Art. 3, § 24. So let the sunshine in--and let's have some open court action hahah

Anonymous said...

"It will be settled out of court", says one news-breaking genius. Well, what the hell do you think arbitration is?

Meanwhile: I completed this sentence...Parents/guardians and/or students expressly waive their right to a trial by jury (EXCEPT IN CASES WHERE...).

Anonymous said...

11:20 here - what exactly did I “lie” about? The 2 Tennessee commits have been at JA a while. There are adult classes aimed at improving reading comprehension. Enroll in one.

Anonymous said...

Jackson Academy has already lost and its descent has begun. Within 5 years don’t be surprised if there is a push to move north similar to saint Andrew’s.
I don’t have a horse in this race, nor, do I really care about the outcome. However, when parents that can afford JA begin to weigh the pros and cons of each school they are considering, the cons column has gotten much longer. The pro column only gained a paid for championship.

Anonymous said...

Hartfield distinguishes itself by invoking a moral covenant with families in addition to the formal enrollment contract implying obligations based on trust and shared values that extend beyond enforceable terms. I wonder how that court battle would play out (not that I can afford it)?

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting a comment with some meat on the bones.

Just curious, do you know if there has been much litigation involving JA in the recent past? I'm wondering if JA are properly squared away on all the details. Piss poor performance exposed on a prior occasion or perhaps it could be this time?

Anonymous said...

What he said.

Anonymous said...

January 8, 2026 at 1:33 PM, there are one, or more pathological liers that post regular to this board. They lie about anything, and everything.

Anonymous said...

Were you aware of these provisions you don't like before you signed?

thelaw said...

@2:48 - I'm not aware of JA being involved in a bunch of lawsuits. But litigation does have its way in ironing out / testing the details in legal instruments. I'm sure they'll take a nice, close look at whether that contract says what they think it says. I'm a litigator myself, so I generally don't do the contract building. I'm in the let's-find-out-what-it-actually-means business.

Anonymous said...

Well stated. Hope you got to bill for that synopsis

Anonymous said...

Isn't the JA Headmaster in his first year? He might be well served to remember the name Yates.

Anonymous said...

Is there any hope of some reform in the MAIS because of all the publicity? Will the MAIS have to act on the recruiting accusations against JA?

Anonymous said...

@1:38pm dude, what? Do you people get off to these fantasies of the collapse of Jackson? Trash AND litter? Speeding?? The horror!! Take a chill pill buddy. Everything you mentioned is happening everywhere in this country. Ridgeland Madison Flowood Brandon Clinton are no exception.

Anonymous said...

Lots of private school parents are reading this, so I'll pose the question: How many of you would opt for a private school in the Jackson Metro, which was FREE OF SPORTS? I'm not talking about a school for wacked-out Carrie White types, but a real, Upper Middle Class private school?

We managed to raise three spectacular kids, with just a combination of Martial Arts/Krav Maga and bodybuilding (trainers make great Summer Break mannies...). So, the (usually implicit) argument that without sports, kids'll grow up to be shapeless, underemployed zhlubs, is invalid.

If there WERE a valid option, for a school which doesn't revolve around sports, would you pay? ... and send your offspring to it?







Anonymous said...

4:20, that school exists - St. Andrews.

Anonymous said...

4:11. Keep denying. I have lived in NEJ for over 50 years and if you cannot see the cancer, it is because you refuse to. We have horrible decay going on here DAILY, along with serious crime. Duh.

Anonymous said...

Hell yes!!!

Anonymous said...

home school is the next best option once they force school choice (JPS) on everyone

Anonymous said...

They all recruit, but they all do not have overzealous daddies and coaches that BUY players....err students.

Anonymous said...

My child went to another MAIS school for 13 years. He played football. Prior to his sophomore year the school, which perennially struggled in football, recruited a dozen new students from surrounding public schools. They all happened to play football. The school’s fundraising director called and asked if I would contribute a couple thousand to a scholarship fund to help get those poor, underprivileged children a decent Christian education. I said some decidedly unchristian four letter words in reply and that was the last time he asked me for any donation. I think they won 3 games that year.

Anonymous said...

6:14, that's awesome!!!

Anonymous said...

@4:11 Dude, if you’re comparing crime in Madison to crime in Jackson, you probably don’t need to reproduce.

Anonymous said...

Does this championship, and the way JA won it, make anybody want to stroke a check to attend JA? No thanks. You sacrificed the future because some well heeled boosters wanted a championship now. Reminds me of Hillcrest back around 2006. They never recovered. All of the tuition paying families left.

Anonymous said...

Mississippi Scoreboard never reported any transfers being D1 signees. YOU are indeed misreporting

Anonymous said...

So this all stems from a set of entitled parents who after spending all that time and money on travel ball and private lessons, realize that little Johnny isn’t good enough to make the varsity squad. It’s not fair! We’ll the fair only comes around once a year. Little Johnny is going to struggle when he gets into the real world.

Anonymous said...

It’s a shame football has become a God in America. It holds importance every bit on the same level as church in Mississippi. This proves it and all of you parents of boys from 8-12 grades know it’s the truth. You are for NIL, school choice, and private school athletic recruiting. You see nothing wrong with this. So, good luck! Your son won’t play college ball either. He may get a frat bid- sigma chi at state if he’s a private school boy or phi delt at ole Miss. then what? After 5 years, what will he do? What has this taught the boy? What a disappointment.

Anonymous said...

I do think it's kind of crazy that they terminated the child from the school. If I was a parent, especially an alum of the school, I would be upset and rightfully so...however, the silent part they are trying to say is that they don't like that poor black kids are taking their kids spots on these sport teams. Maybe instead of spending thousands of dollars on paying for a lawyer, why don't you spend that money on hiring trainers and private practice sessions for your child so they can actually compete and WIN their spot!!

Anonymous said...

4:11 NE Jackson has decayed beyond reason. Have you driven around heatherwood, briarwood, near McLeod etc.? In the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s these neighborhoods were like Mayberry. Even the less expensive neighborhoods like Canton Heights or the Sedgwick were well maintained and virtually free of crime. The condition of all of those neighborhoods is sad. The public schools in those areas have gone to hell with the neighborhoods. The grocery stores and retail - same thing. Might be hard to believe but we left our doors unlocked, keys in cars, bikes unlocked on the rack at Deville cinema, tote-sum, bowling alley or wherever. It was an incredible place to grow up. The house I grew up in was small and in a cheaper area near briarwood pool. The neighborhood was just as well maintained as Eastover. I saw 4 non-running cars in front of houses on my old street during the holidays. That never happened even when guys were in Vietnam. The neighborhood is approaching ghetto status. It’s sad and pathetic

Macy Hanson said...

In my experience, judges compel arbitration 100% of the time (even under extremely unconscionable facts; like a blind lady).

Also, in my experience, discovery in arbitration is significantly limited.

Anonymous said...

St. Andrew's has a strong athletic program. Research it.

Anonymous said...

Bye, bye Eddie. Your ego has been transferred to another state. Good riddance.

Dark Side - Wink Wink said...

Either the "No Recruiting Allowed" rules will be enforced or they won't. So far, they're not.

Nobody really gives a shit other than the crowd who believe they exist in a "Blind Side" movie. And that's the same group who hope their kid will survive the influx from 'The Dark Side'.

Anonymous said...

@thelaw - thanks for the clarification, but could one argue that the arbitration clause is not enforceable since JA terminated the contract with the family? No contractual relationship means no contractual commitments.

Anonymous said...

I’m trying to understand this. The headmaster said he didn’t care about the facts of the PDF.. Only that the PDF file embarrassed the school?

So the recruits embarrassed the school???

How do the recruits feel about that?

Anonymous said...

I don't know if tuition-paying parents will leave JA over this teapot tempest but I do know of a private school in Hinds County that lost half of their academic teachers when someone left a copy of employees' salaries where everyone saw it. The teachers were being paid peanuts compared to the coach's salary. The teachers walked out to find better jobs. That school has never won a championship in anything except maybe self-righteousness.

Anonymous said...

8:03 PM proves the meathead “little Johnny life’s not fair” crowd can’t do simple mathematics.

Based on their meathead logic, each of the private schools should just go out and get enough NON-TUITION PAYING football players to fill every starting position…from where ever they can get them, just to win fake championships.

Maybe somebody like Heaf Jank Trailer Man can explain it; that “allegedly” paid tuition for a bunch of recruits at one of the local MAIS schools his boy was attending, but then, when his boy wouldn’t have (wait for it) “the opportunity to play,” they packed up and moved to another school, so HIS “little Johnny,” would have (wait for it) “the opportunity to play.”

If true, you really can’t make this level of “meatheadedness” up!

Anonymous said...

That could be said of most Jackson residents; however, the horse got out of the barn.

Anonymous said...

4:11 PM , I reckon you aren't in Jackson for Holiday " Fireworks Shows" such as we have every year for New Year's, FOFA July, Memorial day, etc.
I do live in NE Jackson and I have gotten very proficient in distinguishing pyrotechnics from semi- automatic weapon fire . It goes on for days, every night. I'd bet that doesn't happen in Madison, Brandon, Gluckstadt, etc etc etc. Nor do they tolerate the general junkiness and trashiness and litter of most main streets that you see in most all parts of Jackson outside of Eastover.

Anonymous said...

Let’s stop pretending this isn’t welded to school choice. The whole scheme only works if you normalize and excuse wrongdoing. If JA looked at a mostly Black golf team and said, “These kids aren’t cutting it—can we go grab some white golfers from Reunion to fix our problem?” that wouldn’t be coaching, it would be open, unapologetic discrimination. Kids have civil rights too whether adults like it or not, and no amount of religious language or “values talk” makes violating them acceptable. You don’t get to preach morality while enabling abuse, chaos, and cover-ups. That’s not getting an education.

Anonymous said...

The commonsense solution here is the one nobody mentions: simply ban the act or practice of going outside and recruiting ringgers.

Why isn’t it mentioned, reckon? Because you sportsball hypocrites aren’t averse to such tactics when it goes your way and you have your championship year; then you come down with a case of the sore-ass when your competition recruits a superior breed of ringgers.

Just ban recruiting and this shit ends. Play with what’s homegrown and not what you can import.

Anonymous said...

The only real issue should be whether the "recruits" are academically capable of performing to the private school's standards. If they are, unless they are doing something illegal who should care where the money for their tuition comes from? If playing a varsity sport is so important to a parent
but the schools athletic program is too competitive, you can always go to another school, maybe your kid can play there. If I can't play at Ole Miss I can try out at Belhaven if it is so damn important.

Anonymous said...

Parents think joining a team means fun learning sportsmanship nah scumbag coaches and private ball parents turned it into a semi pro pipeline with privately trained ringers for hire. My kid's team got assembled in 2nd grade before we signed up, in the 4th grade teacher and new QB moves kid to the school by 7th grade full recruiting!! Fake families with laughable staged two-parent households so there are no-hood vibes for the scouts and that glorious bag.

Private schools are helping run the fake ass show and staging fake ass games.

Hey hotty toddy? How many damn near 30 year old "student athletes" were out there getting paid last night?

Whole damn system rigged from elementary to SEC.

Anonymous said...

It's astounding the amount of people who are commenting on here who literally have no idea what they are talking about. I wish this damn website would implode and take all of you old, racist, negative, jealous, and immoral bigots with it. KF, I don't know how you sleep at night knowing that you provide a platform for this behavior.

Anonymous said...

9:57 what a joke. Open unapologetic discrimination? You ignore the obvious question: Do all great golfers who are available happen to be white and live in Reunion? It's about putting together a great team, not race. I understand arguments for and against recruiting. I can see both sides somewhat. But the reality is that its allowable presently, under certain circumstances at least, and it's been going on for a very long time. Don't cry about it. The free market will fix it. Either more and more strong families will start leaving and JA ultimately will pay a heavy cost for what they did this last season, or maybe they won't. Maybe the ones who are gonna leave have already left, and the remaining ones want to win championships and identify with a winner, so they end up not minding (or at least not leaving). The lawsuit is interesting. I guess we shall see what happens. Again I understand both sides. But arguing that it's unapologetic discrimination just because the best available players happen to be a certain color is no such thing. In fact, your comments are more discriminatory in nature than what JA did. Pretty sure JA didn't care what color the athletes were, just that they were the best available and could bring a state title (which is exactly what they did). Now JA has made it's bed and will have to lie in it. But that bed might just end up being awfully warm and cozy...and full of a ton of trophies in the end...time will tell...

Anonymous said...

These athletes should demand payment.

Anonymous said...

@9:18 There are scholarships and assistance available to students that need it - but they are limited in scope. It appears that JA bypasses those limits in shady ways just to bring in ringers to win a championship outside the bounds/limits presented in their own contracts and handbooks. I would think that a parent paying the kind of tuition for their kids to attend JA would want to make sure that most of that investment is going towards developing THEIR kids. Not footing the bill for others in excess of what is transparent and agreed upon in their enrollment contract.

Anonymous said...

It's NUMBER OF people: not AMOUNT OF people. How did you make it through Seventh Grade English?

Anonymous said...

People pay a hefty sum to attend JA - I think it's fair for the parents to expect those resources and programs to be targeted primarily at the families that pay to be there. Using those dollars to bring in recruits without being transparent to the folks that foot the bill is shady.

Anonymous said...

1:27 Trophies 😂? Seriously. Not many parents give a flying 💩about trophies. Parents (realistic ones) would like to see athletics be a portion of the overall experience, not the focus. Delusional ones who think lil Johnny will be on TV one day playing sports may care....and those that hang their existence on JA may care. Overall, most could care a less.

Anonymous said...

1:14 PM’s post, including the words “old, racist, negative, jealous, and immoral bigots,” is code for - 1:14 PM doesn’t like the fact that the truth can be told and learned.

Its alternative media sites like Jackson Jambalaya and independent YouTubers that keep us from having to listen to the traditional media lairs without being able to fight their propaganda.

Thank you KF for bringing these stories to the public, and giving us the opportunity to fight this leftist communist mentality of taking from tuition payers, and giving to non-payers, just so coaches can win in athletics!

Anonymous said...

Aren't we talking about a private school? Somebody suggested banning "outsiders" and limiting players to those whose parents pay their own tuition. If my rich uncle pays my tuition who cares? If some rich guy pays the tuition of a good player why should you care? It's a private school. What's an "outsider" if they qualify and somebody pays their tuition? This is some crazy bull....

Anonymous said...

You don't have kids do you snowflake? No need to answer. You will just lie about that as well.

Anonymous said...

3:58, tell us like it is! We know you speak from experience, right? You’ve personally stepped up for your kids spending or having spent 6 figures on each of them for a private school education and private school opportunities, and you didn’t care when your son was screwed out of his opportunity because some meathead coach and/or meathead Dad brought in non-paying players so the meathead(s) could have him/themself a pretend trophy, right?

P.S. nobody cares if kids come’s to an MAIS school organically via a rich uncle, etc. But that’s not what’s happening. And you’re either too dumb to know how retarded it would be for a meathead coach to stack the entire football team with NON-TUITION PAYING players (telling all tuition payers tough luck) or you’re smart enough to know that meathead coaches bringing in 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 or even 1 non-tuition paying player for the purposes of accomplishing the meatheads goals, is BS.

Anonymous said...

I do wonder, though, hypothetically, if a parent were uber rich enough, could Daddy Gotbucks pay money enough to get his boy on the starting squad even though the lad was the worst player suited up? I think it's very likely a team position could be bought. But then the poor tyke would likely suffer a season-ending injury during practice.

Anonymous said...

People in Clinton need the private school graduates to give them future jobs anyway.


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In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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