Tuesday, November 4, 2025

The Purloined Perfume

 The Gluckstadt Police Department issued the following statement. 

Perfume Bandit Caught
On Saturday, November 1, 2025, officers with the Gluckstadt Police Department were notified of a shoplifting incident at Relish Home Accents around lunchtime. Further investigation revealed the suspect had taken more than $500 worth of merchandise from the store.
Officers canvassed the area for surveillance footage, and by Sunday night the suspect was identified as Kenya Denae Johnson. A warrant was quickly obtained, and on Monday afternoon, Ms. Johnson was located and taken into custody in Ridgeland, Mississippi, without incident.



A special thank you goes out to the Ridgeland Police Department and Constable Justin Lancaster for their assistance in locating and apprehending the suspect.
Crimes like these can have a lasting impact on small local businesses—many of which are the heart of our community. The Gluckstadt Police Department takes every crime seriously and will continue to go to great lengths to ensure offenders are found, arrested, and held accountable.
Ms. Johnson has been charged with one count of Shoplifting.



Posted by Kingfish at 10:00 AM

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

They never learn that they should shoplift at one of the upscale highbrow boutique stores in Jackson. If caught, they would get a blessing and sent on their way to steal another day. Right?

November 4, 2025 at 10:04 AM
Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, only a misdemeanor. Your legislature amended larceny and shoplifting to make those a felony only when the value of the things taken exceeds $1,000.00.

November 4, 2025 at 10:23 AM
Anonymous said...

All the hood rats are leaving Jackson & making their new nest in Pearl. Florence, Clinton, Ridgeland, Madison & Gluckstadt.

November 4, 2025 at 10:26 AM
Anonymous said...

Interesting that they let her keep her wig on for the mugshot

November 4, 2025 at 10:26 AM
Anonymous said...

She should have been trying to shoplift a bra

November 4, 2025 at 10:59 AM
Anonymous said...

She should set up a restaurant called “Char’d” that serves microwaved Bobby flay meals and plays autotuned rap DJs and MCs during weeknights until the sun rises.

November 4, 2025 at 11:06 AM
Anonymous said...

10:23 - The Legislature, again.

November 4, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Anonymous said...

Shoulda stole a better bra.

November 4, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Anonymous said...

The only reason she didn't steal 10 million dollars worth of stuff is because it wasn't within her reach.

November 4, 2025 at 11:35 AM
Anonymous said...

lopsided low hanging fruit

November 4, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Anonymous said...

She was just doing some Christmas stealing to get ready for the holidays.

November 4, 2025 at 12:29 PM
Anonymous said...

Waitaminnit
Gluckstadt Police did something other than a speeding trap?!?

November 4, 2025 at 12:36 PM
Anonymous said...

Don't forget those evil tint violations.

November 4, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Anonymous said...

Is this a tourism commercial for Madison?

November 4, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Anonymous said...

This needs more attention :D

November 4, 2025 at 2:17 PM

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Recent Comments

Loading...

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.