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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
45 comments:
Hey, Chief, I get it. “I’ll just ride that old “no comment, ongoing investigation” nag until I fill my saddlebags with excuses, rationalizations, and buck-passing.”
Otherwise, the rest of it reads like a goddamned Hallmark card.
I read nextdoor in Fondren and I see loads of people asking for fun control. These crazy liberals think that these criminals have legally purchased these guns that commit the murders yet at same time complain no one answers the 911 calls for JPD. Yes let’s turn in all legal guns and allow the criminals to be the only ones with guns. How stupid are people in this country? I came here from South Africa as a 18 yr old and i realize more and more a lot of Americans are either stupid spoiled or don’t understand how the real world works.
"I will be able to answer all of the questions that we can." What the hell does that mean?
He could borrow some of Lord Mayor Chowke's excuses to fill out his excuse list:
1. It's a perception of a mass shooting
2. It's those damn gun shows
3. Or it's that "open carry" (he doesn't have a clue what that means)
4. It's white flight
5. Maybe it's the Jim Crow laws
6. It's Trump's fault
7. It's the NRA's fault
8. The dog ate my GPS and I couldn't find the school
9. The 9-1-1 dispatcher was on her mandatory break
10. It's the state's fault
11. The real time crime center lost power
6:57. Belhaven remind you of the Townships?
Joe Biden infers that the republicans are blocking gun control. He has worked in Washington on the publics payroll for 50 years. I might add surprisingly he has also amassed a personal fortune. Democrats control the House of Reps., the White House, etc. and he still blames the republicans. Quit drinking his Kool add.
Buy whatever you can while you still can. Because the mentally ill, fatherless 15 year old thugs of Jackistan will have no trouble acquiring “assault weapons” to raid the burbs after the democrats disarm the population. And don’t think for a second that single shot smoothbore muskets and scatterguns will be sufficient to defend yourself.
6:57: The majority of reasonable people (both R and D) want common sense gun laws. "They're going to take away all our guns!" is the mantra from the right-wing gun nuts who don't understand why any 18-year old shouldn't be able to buy AR-15s before he can legally purchase a handgun. How stupid do you have to be to believe that? Guess you don't understand how the real world works.
6:57. . .Well said!!!
It's already a capital crime to, wait....murder someone. It takes a special kind of stupid to think that making any possession of a firearm illegal will prevent crimes. Hell, most of the Jackistan shooters are convicted felons and can't own a firearm.
Somebody correct me if I am wrong but I understood the The "Chief" holding everything up was the school district chief of police on scene (in the hall).
@9:08
You are correct. I don’t believe that millions of law abiding 18 year olds should be denied their constitutional rights to bear arms simply because a handful of psychos were able to get them too. I believe there are millions more commie eradicating heroes like Kyle Rittenhouse, than there are pathetic school shooters under the influence of SSRI’s.
Umm 6:57, the Uvalde shooter waited until...his 18th birthday...to buy the assault rifles used in the shooting. You know, when it was legal to purchase them.
Do what Australia did. NOW. https://www.vox.com/2015/8/27/9212725/australia-buyback
America doesn't have a gun problem it has an incel problem.
In China and Japan, where it is extremely difficult to legally acquire a firearm, they still have incel mass killers. They use whatever they can. A few years ago, Japan had a guy stab a bunch of people and then he burned the Kyoto animation office building down. Killed 36 people. He didn't have a gun.
https://www.asahi.com/ajw/articles/14010742
@8:57
You asked if Belhaven reminded me of the townships? I never lived in township I can to a private school on golf scholarship called university of Miami and did my residency there as well then a Ortho fellowship at Washington university in St. Louis and I do live in Woodland Hills Fondren not Belhaven. Although doctors in our group do live in both. Not sure you understand how things work in South Africa. At St. Andrews lower school they told my son blacks were slaves in South Africa and that isn’t true the Indian population were the slaves. My son now goes to FPDS.
Why isn’t there any criticism focused on the teacher who left a door propped open? If the door was closed and locked the gunman couldn’t gain entrance to the building.
11:09am Your lack of maturity and education blinds you to what is now the present reality of Australia. They are a completely totalitarian regime now and a powder keg of patriots are about to push back hard. They've been on lockdown all this time, and the media does not report on it.
Australia used to be the dream getaway country if the world went to shit, now their world is a complete disaster.
There are less households in the US with guns than in the 1980s… what’s your point of banning guns. Listen you bring the knife to a gunfight not me. What about the black poor inner city single mothers there with young children. You want there guns also.? Only white elite liberals want gun control. That’s bc
Like Hollywood. They love in gated or pay local security and have armed guards. Look at Maureen Dowd… wrote article for gun confiscation in ISA today the same week she increased seemed security.
11:09
Australia a few months ago dictated severe lockdowns for Covid scare: why did Australian troops beat people in the streets? Because people were not armed.
Imagine what current crop of marxist politicians would do here if they weren't afraid of armed people. In fact, that is why we have the Constitutional right to carry guns, to protect ourselves, especially from oppressive government tyranny but also from crooks, killers, rapists, carjackers, etc.
Biden and his Obamunist handlers want your guns so they can make you a slave to their marxist plots.
@11:20 is correct and low value males are a growing worldwide problem. Usually TPTB will spark a World War to draft all the low value males and send them off to die.
“I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!”
12:07
Your right only the poor minority community will be ravaged by gun ban… Eastover and other white areas will pay security and armed guards where the minority neighborhoods can’t do this generally.
The cowardly police should be publicly stripped of their badges and their weapons and drummed out of the school.
6:57 The Ulvade shooter did buy it legally the minute he turned 18.
Nearly 100% of the guns were legally purchaced by the shooter. The remainder except for the one domestic abuser who did have his illegally, were easily available in the home or from a friend.
There's a list on line and if you are inept as to not know that, I sure hope you and your gun aren't out pretending to defend anyone. You have too little judgement not to screw that up like the Ulvade LEO's did.
I actually know Australians and y'all are just making crap up or hopelessly unable to tell actual news from propaganda and/or have no friends with a brain.
As for criminals, did you never learn about how guns laws "tame the Wild West" and got "tommy guns" out of the hands of Mafioso?
What grade did you finish? How old are you and did you and were you in Special Ed all of school or did you suffer a brain injury or take too many drugs?
Marxism has proven to be a fail philosophy. Even the former Commies all became capitalists.
You don't seem to know your word definitions. If you did, you'd know only N.Korea and China under Mao, even got close to Marxism. They did that by putting their criminals and psychopaths in the military and their mentally and physically deficient and threats in " training camps or prisons" or just murdering them.
Forms of government is about what the government should or should not have authority to govern to make a society function.
There are lists for each buzz word you don't understand.
However, Fascism seems to be making a comeback. And, as in Hitler's time, using fear and ignorance to turn communism and Jews into more of a threat than they were was at the heart of Goebbels propaganda.
Try to stay off.
Communism quickly evolved into oligarchies and dictatorships.
Please try to read real history written by those who studied it rather than those who never even took a history course after high school.
I agree with the gun control law limiting purchase of gun after age 21. Common sense.
Swiss-based leading research project - estimate that there were 390 million guns in circulation in the U.S. as of 2018.
Even if there's a total totl ban on gun sales there are 390 million used guns for sale.
So, Communism is not a problem?????
May 30, 2022 at 9:08 AM; your use of "reasonable" is no more inflammatory than comey's use of "reasonable" when he said no "reasonable" prosecutor would investigate hillary for her illegal email server scandal. thereby implying, before any investigation even started, that the prosecutor would be unreasonable, tainting the entire investigation. you've already identified yourself as a leftist. meaning, you are willfully ignorant, or lying on purpose to push an agenda.
you must not have been watching beto "hell yes, we're coming for your ar15" o'rourke, tell the world, that is exactly what they plan. dianne feinstein said that if she had the votes she would outlaw guns, and that i believe, was about 25 years ago. the left wants guns outlawed. that's their end goal.
the degenerate left doesn't want "common sense" gun control, they want control, they want all civilians unarmed because they do understand what the 2nd amendment is for. they aren't stupid, they are just evil. pay attention to the WEF, WHO, and the UN, they're telling you what they want to do to everyone on the planet, and that's pretty damn difficult as long as the united states is armed.
there are already plenty of "common sense" gun laws on the books. however, there are no laws currently on the books that will stop a committed deranged psychopath. none. not one. if a bad guy wants a gun, they can get one. the only "common sense" gun law that is not on the books that the degenerate left wants on the books is the law that outlaws guns. you outlaw guns, only the outlaws will have guns. you think jackson is bad now, take away every law abiding citizen's ability to protect themselves. and add that disarmed citizenry along with a defunded/disbanded/abolished police, and see how much better things get in your delusional utopia fairyland. take away all guns and see how fast the government will force you into a quarantine camp for at least 3 weeks when the monkey pox, or what the fuck ever the next pandemic, scamdemic, or plandemic they decide to unleash on the world is. it's not conspiracy theory, it's fact. australia did it, china's doing it, and we already have the camps in place.
the age difference between buying a rifle and hand gun is just some arbitrary age difference put into law by politicians. doesn't seem to affect the minor teenagers in jackson, chicago, st louis, and any other degenerate leftist-run shithole from shooting each other and innocents.
the uvalde school shooting was a monumental failure on the government's part. from the government's school teachers, the government's police, to the government's inability and unwillingness to secure schools, and not because of lax gun laws.
we have pissed away billions and billions of dollars on ukraine alone, not to mention all the other ridiculous waste of our, your's and my, tax dollars. wouldn't take that much to secure the schools. it's not rocket surgery. not is it brain science. it's called common sense.
2nd paragraph, 4th line....''texas rangers are investigating''
so.....................?
does calling themselves rangers give them some kind of credibility?
do they leap tall buildings in a single bound?
no ...they just one more set of cynical , know it all cops
no different that the cop cowards who refused to enter the school and engage in a firefight
2:34, I left the Republican Party because nuts like you weren’t silenced. I won’t be a democrat just yet but the louder voices like yours grow, I’ll be damned if it’s not unforeseeable.
May 30, 2022 at 3:49 PM; blah, blah, blah, blah. save yourself some time, and go ahead and go be a democrat. go be a proud member of the party that turns everything to shit when they touch it.
stopping mentally ill psychopaths from killing people with guns is not going to happen by trying to control what guns i can buy and how many rounds a magazine holds.
seems like renting a truck or van and mowing down a bunch of people at a parade is pretty effective to me.
3:49 pm?? What part of the 2:34 pm comment was nuts? I thought it was spot on.
The internet cowboys are out in full force. Too bad you were not on the internet at the time to save everybody. This would have never happened. Wait.
Just more liberal tears. You can get rid of guns but people will kill without them, it’s hard to get that through a liberals pea brain. If they want to raise the age limit to 21 that’s fine when they also raise the voting age and enlistment age to 21. Liberals get all excited when these types of events happen before the bodies are even cold. They ignore when a person drives through a crowd of people because of the narrative, then Buffalo happens and they run with the racism narrative, not guns, and Mumbles shows up for a photo shoot, now this happens and the pro choice crowd cry about kids who they don’t even care about, and run with the gun narrative so mumbles and knee pads can use it for a photo shoot. Why won’t mumbles and knee pads come to Jackson to talk about banning fully semi auto AR-14 ghost guns? Do Black Lives not Matter to them? Where are all the local liberal idiots crying about this, shouldn’t they be out there stomping around pissing and moaning? Where’s BLM? Panthers? I guess the paid protesters aren’t get $20 and a lunchable to cry about the kids here, instead you get ballon releases.
@3:49
I’ve lived in oppression by a government that gave no rights to the citizens and they were glad we didn’t have guns. If we did they would never have been allowed to do what they did. Go to Miami and talk to Cubans. All will tell you this. Problem is you only know freedoms you enjoy in America and can’t relate otherwise. Your eyes are limited by your knowledge of the world and your inexperience. People wonder why Cubans and Colombians vote 90% republican.
Tens of thousands died last year due to fentanyl overdoses, and the government does pitiful little to stop the thousands of pounds coming in through our open border with Mexico. Where’s the outage about that? There is none because the media doesn’t want to report on yet another of this administration’s failures!
3:49 pm. I’m with 5:01. Just go ahead and turn democrat because you already sound like one. These spoilt liberals, democrats, whatever have no idea that the government is just salivating at the chance to take our guns. They are willing to use any excuse. You really have to look at the current administration’s actions have been since Biden took office. Is it stupidity or a concentrated effort for chaos by turning off our oil and by opening up the southern border. Climate change, my a$@.
All you commenters that view everything through political lenses are sheep. Quit ingesting so much Fox / MSNBC garbage. They feed on making you think that way. Democrats aren’t “degenerates.” Republicans aren’t responsible for school shootings. People think differently. All are Americans who love this place just like you.
If they'd have used the word "community" just a few more times, I'd be convinced.
Weird how these things happen, almost on cue.
Over 100 years ago you could buy an assault rifle from J. C. Penny and the mail man would deliver it to your home. There wasn't any school shootings. The military still used the old bolt action rifles. It was another 40 years before the military finally were issued assault rifles. Not a single school shooting in those 40 years. Can anyone explain why there were not any school shootings? Assault rifles could be bought by anyone who could order it from a catalog.
Now we have people blaming the gun for the school shootings. Did the guns get mad? Did the guns go to the schools?
Could it be that the guns are not the blame for school shootings? Do you think the person shooting the gun might be the cause of school killings? Did it actually take assault rifles over a hundred years to take over and start shooting people? Give this some serious thought.
@1:44
It is because the nation is no longer mentally and spiritually healthy. The mental and spiritual health of this nation was intentionally destroyed. The problems that we face today exist by design. Any more specific details and this comment will be censored by the blog comment moderator.
I vote we throw the sperm and egg donors who created these brain dead incels who shoot up schools in jail too.
YOU should be liable for the weapon YOU created.
Stop blaming inanimate objects for your own abject failure as a parent.
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