Attorney General Lynn Fitch issued the following statement.
Thursday, July 8, 2021
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
37 comments:
Has China paid out those billion$ yet? Asking for a cynical friend.
read the first line closely. ms fitch didnt sue anyone. she merely intervened in a suit filed by the AG of another state. if she wants to do anything about antitrust matters, she needs to spend her time doing something about the fact that blue cross has a virtually monopoly over health care insurance in this third world county called mississippi .
More taxation without representation. This will come to a screeching halt soon. The pendulum always swings back. And when it does, duck
ms fitch would have you believe that she ''pioneered'' this antitrust litigation. read her press release. all the heavy lifting had been done long before she showed up.
like most of these fake career politicians , she has never had an original thought in her entire career.
the only thing redeeming about her is that she managed to beat that clown mark baker.
/facepalm
dear ms fitch,
i can live just fine without google, but i cant get by without health insurance.
since you fancy yourself as the greatest lawyer since abraham lincoln, why do you do something about the total monopoly that blue cross has over health insurance coverage in mississippi?
is it because blue cross has you on their payroll? tell me!
go down to wall mart and buy your self that board game called ''monopoly''. that game has been around since the 30s. learn to play it and maybe, just maybe , you will understand what im trying to tell you.
Seeing where some states are filing suits against their governors for stopping federal unemployment benefits. Anybody planning to file a suit against Tater? Lots of $
You can join a lawsuit by filing one sheet of paper.
No, she agreed to sign on to a suit by 37 other AGs. Groundbreaking stuff, for sure. I'd love to hear her theories on antitrust law.
Okay. To bad these companies have grown in "BladeRunner" style stuff. The ship has sailed....WE are all now slaves to Google...FB....Twits and any others. It's over folks. We slept to long.....comfortable in the shells.
Should be an easy case to win as long as Lynn doesn’t get involved further than signing her name and issuing press releases.
Alright… one of y’all has to know… who’s gonna run against her??
Thanks for joining EPIC and it's suit against Apple/Google! #fortnite
It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
Good!
Wasn’t Jim Hood widely ridiculed when he sued Google? New boss same as the old.
This is a landmark day for Liston & Deas
Joinder queen!
What a brave brave AG!
How’s the suit going to overturn democracy….you know the one you joined….
to 11;14........''theories on antitrust law''?........ms fitch would not know antitrust from antibiotic.
If Attorney General Fitch was a democrat we would never see all these negative posts. Leftists will continue to spout their lies until stupid people start to believe them. That is their Marxist strategy, Tell a big lie and tell it often enough and it will be believed to be the truth!
Let's just eliminate the AG's office and let Google, FB, Wall Street, et al stomp all over your asses and steal every nickel in PERS so these assclowns dont have to worry and fret about which political party the AG is from or if lawyers who represent the state and front litigation costs and expenses and spend their time working for nothing in hopes to get a fraction of what is recovered and their expense money back.
@ 4:22 PM
I am 99% sure she is a democrat. She sure acts like one. She certainly can’t tell you her views on an issue without a teleprompter
I've asked before, and got crickets every time. Has the woman ever been in a courtroom or litigated in any capacity? God help us all when she publishes her resume in two years.
422
She gets paid not to work. Sounds like a liberal to me
You know she’s a train wreck when she praises the twice impeached idiot every chance she gets and the Republicans still hate her. I expect she will start doing some local companies very big favors soon. She will need to have a job lined up as soon as this term is over and she isn’t impressing anyone with her ability.
@4:22
I don’t care what party Lynn is in.. She’s useless and clueless!
11:39...I'm still waiting for an answer to your very legit question...anyone?
Republicans would be meeting with these companies to create opportunities.
Democrats sue them.
She files one frivolous suit after another.
Jim Hood actually did do his job.
4:54, methinks thou dost protest a bit too much. you'll make millions w/ very little risk. They'll pay your "tax", pass the cost on to Joe Schmoe and not change a thing. cigarettes anyone?
Not to worry, Lynn just secured two spots on Supertalk next week.
Gallo & The J T show would be my first guess.
@7:17
Yes, I prefer to watch the live feed so you can see her struggling with her bifocals to read the pages and pages of scripted notes. Some people don’t need a script, some people can get by with a few talking points, but some people have talent
Lynn, you didn’t get the best us attorneys that were available who hope you know that! People don’t live those job to work for someone like you!
Interesting move for someone who loves to Google herself
Fresh paint and new office furniture ain't gonna pay for itself!
Thanks JJ for bringing this to light. Personally, I think it's a waste of taxpayer money. There are many things the Attorney General works on that I think are appropriate, but jumping on this misguided bandwagon for political reasons is wrong. I download apps from many sites, including the Internet. It's a free market. The more we push against technology, the further we will get behind China and the other countries that are attacking us. Be mindful of these lawsuits.
Follow the money...Fitch's contribution reports are a roadmap...
Someone smart could compare her contributions to the hiring of outside counsel...
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