Thursday, March 16, 2017

Layoffs at UMMC

UMMC issued the following statement. 



UMMC FINANCIAL ACTION PLAN ADDRESSES REVENUE SHORTFALL



Media contact: Marc Rolph at (601) 815-5133 or mrolph@umc.edu. Release can be found here.



JACKSON, Miss. – The University of Mississippi Medical Center today announced its financial action plan to address unanticipated reductions to patient care reimbursement and other revenues currently totaling $32.7 million.



The Medical Center has identified $24 million in savings through a combination of reduced spending and enhanced revenues to be realized by June 30, the end of the fiscal year. That includes the loss of approximately 195 jobs and the elimination of vacancies totaling 85 positions, all spread proportionately across the organization. In addition, a number of faculty took pay reductions.



“Unfortunately, it was not possible to reach savings of this magnitude without reductions in staffing,” said Dr. LouAnn Woodward, vice chancellor for health affairs and dean of the School of Medicine. Her only conditions for the plan, Woodward said, were that leaders make adjustments “without negatively impacting the patient experience or academic integrity. All other options were available to meet the target.



 “The people who lost their jobs are good, hard-working people who will be missed as team members, and we appreciate their service,” Woodward said.



The employees who are impacted represent all facets of the organization, including the health system; the academic, research and service areas; and the faculty. 



“We have arranged outplacement services to assist them with job searches, benefits or transition to retirement, when applicable,” Woodward said.



Much of the savings will come from restructuring. For example, the duties associated with multiple positions performing similar tasks have been consolidated into fewer positions, Woodward said. A number of programs are being modified to run more efficiently, she said.



“We have placed additional constraints on the hiring process – not an outright freeze, but a more carefully managed review,” Woodward said. “The principal exception is for new hires viewed as crucial to patient care.”



The decisions “have been extremely difficult,” Woodward said. “But it is imperative that we align our costs with our revenues. Academic medical centers are facing many unknowns. We have to take precautions to respond proactively.”



Savings of $24 million won’t completely solve the Medical Center’s current financial problems, Woodward said. “We expect these pressures on our revenues to continue, so our emphasis on efficiency, growing revenues and finding new ways to provide the same or better services at a reduced cost will continue through fiscal year 2018.”



She stressed that the financial challenges with UMMC’s operations will have little or no effect on strategic priorities such as clinical quality improvement, health professions workforce growth, and the $180 million children’s hospital expansion, which includes a $100 million fundraising goal. “Now more than ever, community philanthropic support is critical to our efforts to meet our mission and create a healthier Mississippi,” she said.

                         

The state’s only academic medical center is on a journey that “presents worlds of opportunity and, occasionally, difficult challenges,” she said. “We will surmount this current challenge and, together, continue our journey toward a leaner, more efficient and better organization for our staff, for our patients, and for Mississippi.”

65 comments:

Anonymous said...

Someone needs to dig down really deep to find out exactly what is causing the budget shortfall in the State. Is it all of the "tax breaks" the legislators have given. The raises they have given themselves, or what. They want to cut UMMC, the Health Department, and other agencies that protect the citizens of Mississippi. They want to give back federal funds! Some of which we receive $10 for every $1 WE put in. How smart is that. Maybe we need to "Go Trump" and drain the swamp here in Mississippi!

Anonymous said...

With the cuts to health departments and St D, just watch the ERs fill up at Baptist and St D. Legislators can't figure out why Medicaid costs keep soaring. 2018 will be another record.

Anonymous said...

The fat cats at the country clubs tonight don't care. They'll have a few more bucks to hoard since they got their tax cuts. I'm through with the Republican Party. Incumbents beware. At least fix the roads on your way out.

Anonymous said...

UMMC CAMPUS MEMO

TO: All Faculty and Staff

FROM: Dr. LouAnn Woodward, Vice Chancellor for Health Affairs

SUBJECT: Financial Action Plan

For the last few months we have been closely watching our financial situation as we’ve experienced unanticipated cuts to our revenue. Late this afternoon I met with about 100 senior administrators to announce an action plan to improve our financial position for the remainder of the fiscal year that ends June 30.

http://kingfish1935.blogspot.com/2017/02/deficit-forces-ummc-to-cut-budget.html

Did any of these 100 senior administrators get fired today ?

Is Dan Jones still on the payroll ?

Anonymous said...

The budget shortfall is caused by overspending. Increasing spending by $2B each year is the opposite of what government should be doing. We are having record revenues at both the state and federal levels but continue to spend more than we take in.

The answer IS NOT more revenue.

MS has the 2nd highest (behind AR) state revenue per capita in the immediate south. 30% more state revenue per capita than AL.

And, in MS, 35% of spending goes towards education and 25% towards medicaid

Anonymous said...

UMMC was and is bloated. Feel sorry for anyone who loses their job but to somehow act as if the UMMC sacred cow is untouchable is absurd.

Anonymous said...

Number of administrators fired?...

Anonymous said...

The sacred cow is really a herd. The multiple regional colleges are most sacred. They are redundant in the information age. The IHL is another sacred cow. Education is still in the industrial age. Elementary and middle schools could be smaller and neighborhood-based. I think the whole charter school thing is an attempt to make schools smaller. Get rid of bus fleet, auditorium, lunchroom, and offices. Teach kids near their home and make their parents pack them a lunch. If President Trump is able to police neighborhoods, they can walk home from school and get some exercise that way. The high schools could have the larger programs and campuses. Educated people are healthier. We are sliding back in education and health.

Anonymous said...

@853 -- yes, he is the chair of the department of medicine, the largest department on campus.

Anonymous said...

How many gun shot patients do you think pay their bill. To start with.

Anonymous said...

Colorado collected over $200 million in tax revenue off legal marijuana last year. Our politicians are f'kin idiots.

Anonymous said...

To the smart people at 853 and 958. Do math much? That's an average of 1:100 "administrator to staff" ratio. What in your learned opinion is the correct ratio? And please feel free to add a citation.

Anonymous said...

@ 12:20....not sure what data you are using for your conclusion of 100:1 ratio, but it really doesn't matter. It isn't about an "ideal administrator ratio" at all. Your self proclaimed "learned opinion" is focusing on one metric that isn't considering the bigger picture and is fundamentally flawed if you don't consider other metrics. It is well known that UMMC is top heavy with administrators that have nothing to do with actual patient care and could (and should) be terminated long before medical staff. This is a hospital and terminating the medical staff that actually are the ones that provide the service that the hospital is designed to provide over administrative staff is a symptom of the bigger problem that UMMC currently finds itself.

It's truly a shame that anyone has to be terminated. I pray that this course of action was implemented as the best option in terms of the hospital as a whole....but....I fear that this isn't the case. Both the short term and long term consequences of going about this the wrong way are sure to make matters much worse than they already are.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the people that were cut are the ones actually doing the work so the 100+ administrators don't have to. I've seen this in the corporate world for years. If companies would start at the top, hit management in the wallet and take the high salaries, bonuses and stock options and such away then the may see things start to turn around. It would make employees happier to see management taking the hit instead of them THUS better moral and incentive to work and do a good job.

Anonymous said...

Everything will continue to get worse and worse. On a macro level- when you have more takers (govt assistance) than givers (taxpayers) the books will never balance out. Doesn't matter how much the givers give because the takers keep voting in those that give them bigger and bigger pieces of the pie to take. Just living in MS alone one should be able to take a larger federal tax deduction since so much money has to go to those that have learned how to work the system rather than actually work.

Anonymous said...

Medical research money is drying up in the Trump budget. Nobody excepts hospitals to become money-makers but our legislature with their healthcare partnerships.

Anonymous said...

@ 6:45pm

All bullish*t aside - they really will have an adverse affect on our states economy. Because when it comes to running our state as we know it, someone has to pay. Tax cuts means, someone else is going to pick up the slack.

So when the legislature eliminates $250 million revenues, because they eliminated income taxes for the top 5% of earners in Mississippi - well there goes funding for something? That money is no longer there. So where do the recoup that funding that covers the Health Department? MEMA? Corrections?

Phil Bryant and Tate Reeves tell people - Government has grown. O.k. - where have we grown, what can we eliminate?

So they tell you entitlements are the problem? Funny thing about that is that 90% of entitlement programs in Mississippi are paid for by the Federal government? Not Mississippi!

Even Chris McDaniels will tell you that and he doesn't want that money, because he doesn't want the Federal government telling the state what to do.

But over the pass 10 years, even under Obama, southern states have had the rights to do as they felt with those entitlement dollars. Mississippi has passed drug screening, peeled back eligibility for entitlement programs, cut funding to meals on wheels. It got to a point that they even had a surplus leftover from some welfare programs. YES - A SURPLUS! They sent the money back to DC.

While yet, the Mississippi Food Bank - which is a non-profit - is picking up where the state left off.

But here it is - the tax cuts are now going into affect, and this is just the beginning. Many of us anonymous bloggers stated many moons ago on Jackson Jambalaya called out the Mississippi legislatures foolhardy attempt passing the same austerity measures as Louisiana and Kansas; the electorate ignored the warnings - gave the state a Republican super majority from Governor, Lt. Governor, Treasurer, State Auditor, Senate, all the way to the House - gave them carte blanche - our bond rating will go down, property taxes will go up exponentially, possibly even a sales tax increase as well.

They went nuclear with the budget and with a state like Mississippi that is already in poor fiscal shape, was fiscally irresponsible

Will the taxpayers of Mississippi reward them with more power in 2018?


Anonymous said...

i'm really waiting for the day where if you don't have health insurance you don't get care.

meals on wheels-for the weak. arts and education- pay for them if you want but don't expect the free variety to be good

we already spend more on the military than the next 2-7 top militaries do Combined. let's increase that to the top 20-otherwise we are weak

looks like society is headed to a future where upper-middle-class and above is like it is now, others join the military, and you starve if old or poor.

Anonymous said...

Did LouAnn or Kevin Cook take a pay cut ? If not, I don't feel bad for them. KF- it would be interesting to see what all of the executives at UMMC are making?

Anonymous said...

The dicTATEr is to blame.

Anonymous said...

Their are 60k Mississippi citizens that admit substance dependency and most will not seek treatment until they lose their job. The state closed the chemical dependency unit at Whitfield and are rolling up mental health services at the same time. The legislature liberalizes alcohol manufacturing and resorts to throttle more abuse? The healthcare answer of our state leaders is the Healthcare Collaborative Act of 2017. See pending bill. http://billstatus.ls.state.ms.us/2017/pdf/history/HB/HB0926.xml

Anonymous said...

@10:23pm How do you propose kids whose parents can't afford lunch eat? There are some school systems where a large majority of students depend on meals at school for their nutrition.

Anonymous said...

6.58 is right.

Anonymous said...

$25 million shortfall? Wonder how much that UMMC rebranding campaign cost several years ago?

Anonymous said...

@8:38, if schools are a social welfare agency, are they designed to function in that way? In other words, are they properly staffed with nutritionists and social workers? The social dysfunction in our society cannot be addressed unless policy is directed towards the agencies that provide the services. The schools that do a good job providing meals might not do well with identifying learning problems, medical, or more serious developmental needs. Some schools might have excellent meals, athletics, and transportation, but have behavioral problems that limit learning and graduation rates.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a beef plant in a lab coat. If this Health Care Collaboration deal works out, the delivery of healthcare will NOT be subject to the regular ethics, transparency, open meetings, or other checks so we can expect a select group of beneficiaries or vendors to profit from these new entities. They can issue debt too! How much medical benefit will result for those in need?

Plain ol' Catfish said...

@ 6:58am

"Everything will continue to get worse and worse. On a macro level- when you have more takers (govt assistance) than givers (taxpayers) the books will never balance out. Doesn't matter how much the givers give because the takers keep voting in those that give them bigger and bigger pieces of the pie to take. Just living in MS alone one should be able to take a larger federal tax deduction since so much money has to go to those that have learned how to work the system rather than actually work."

1. "Doesn't matter how much the givers give because the takers keep voting in those that give them bigger and bigger pieces of the pie to take."

Who are the takers - the ghetto, trailer, country folks? Or the corporate donors who pad the pockets of lobbyist in Mississippi?

2. "Just living in MS alone one should be able to take a larger federal tax deduction since so much money has to go to those that have learned how to work the system rather than actually work."

Yeah, those rich bastards sure do need to start chipping in. That's why Phil Bryant is walking away with a healthy war chest. Because he filtered out so much Mississippi taxpayer money to hustlers and swindlers. Let's place the blame where it needs to go.

Anonymous said...

8:38...Here's lesson one. The federal poverty rate is an absurd joke. Lesson two. To qualify for meals during and after school, a 'scholar' can be a member of a family making almost twice the poverty rate. This program is nothing but a liberal, feel-good handout. Mississippi is hiring. Get a damned job.

Anonymous said...

Strange . . . medical research money is "drying up" under Trump, but under the insurance plan I pay thousands for a year, prescription med costs are SKY HIGH because me paying a higher costs "funds medical research." Very strange. -Mr. 37

Anonymous said...

Do away with at least 5 of these people, and I'm sure no one would notice. That would save at least 1.5 mil right there. https://www.umc.edu/About_Us/Leadership.aspx

Anonymous said...

tells me UMMC overstaffed by 280 positions--

Anonymous said...

Just found out that they fired my diabetes doctor. I was on a weekly regimen with her. I am waiting to see if they are even going to notify me. It makes me sick to see all the new construction at UMC yet they never seem to have enough money. The "100 senior department heads" that Woodward called to some meeting is proof that they are heavy on the top end and light on actual patient care.

Anonymous said...

Alabama is a state with a long history of tax revolts that refuses to make an honest effort to pay more of its own way, and has recently had critical budget issues. You want to follow that state's lead? There is more income in the Mountain Brook area, meanwhile, or used to be at least, than in the entire state of Mississippi.

Anonymous said...

It would be very interesting to know if Lou Ann or the CEO took a pay cut. Neither are "revenue producers" - only administrators - they have instituted pay cuts in nearly every department from doctors on down, now layoffs, and yet haven't cut their own salaries... it's my understanding Lou Ann makes north of $700,000 per year and the CEO north of $900,000. For reference, the sub-specialist doctors at UMC (so the highest paid) that have been there for years don't make any more than $375,000 - and all of them have taken pay cuts because of this mismanagement.

Anonymous said...

The dog being walked dropped this wet steaming morning package:

Will the taxpayers of Mississippi reward them with more power in 2018?

Anonymous said...

The current UMMC staffing cuts are supposed to balance their budget through the end of this fiscal year which I think is July 31. Expect to see more cuts thereafter.

Anonymous said...

UMMC layoffs are part of Trumpcare. Give the states some block grants for Medicaid, medical savings accounts or vouchers for the middle class, and engineer the state healthcare delivery system to give you maybe sixty-six years of life expectancy. The EPA and public health agencies will be neutered. The medical research folk will pump you with free, experimental therapies when you get sick. The hospice industry will take your worn out body when the last effort fails.

Anonymous said...

Since when do those earning in the top 5% not pay any Mississippi state income tax? Such blatant lying kills any credibility you thought you had.

PittPanther said...

Elections have consequences.

As you can see by many on this​ thread, they don't feel the state has cut enough yet. So yes, expect these guys to win to next works, and get an even larger majority in state Congress.

Keep cutting. Kansas did it, and they're doing just fine.

Anonymous said...

@9:05 - it is pointless to compare per capital spending between MS and AL or LA or ARK or TN. ALL of these states have MANY TIMES the population of MS therefore, the same "per capita" tax revenue received in those states adds up to much, much more money to support basic government services in those states than what we have here. If we want the same things and the same quality as those states, individually, we are going to have much, much more. But we can't afford to be taxed any more, therefore, spending HAS to be cut to a level that we can afford to fund it. Solution: Increase the population of state - and do it with tax PAYERS instead of tax TAKERS.

@6:45 - tax breaks for economic development do not "cost" the state one DIME. The revenue that you want to tax at a higher amount would not be here AT ALL in absence of those incentives. The math here is easy: No matter how high the tax rate on $0.00, the amount of tax collected is.....$0.00

@10:09 - I think you'll find that most of the building on the UMMC campus is being funded by grants..not our tax dollars.

And, @6:23 - UMMC is FAR more than just a hospital. There is MUCH more going on there than "patient care". It's more like a small city than "a hospital". THAT's why they have to have "administrators" who aren't doctors...and that's why 100 or so admistrators is not necessarily an excessive number. And, a large number of the doctors employed there are actually "administrators" who provide oversight much more often than involving themselves with direct patient care (if they EVER interact with a patient), there is not reason to believe that the loss of a few M.D.s (out of the 100s the have) is going to adversely affect patient care. It's the NURSES who do that.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...Just found out that they fired my diabetes doctor.
March 17, 2017 at 10:09 AM
BUT doctors being laid off hasn't been reported. The public was told all that happened to docs was a pay cut. With Diabetes care critical to our state's population, WHY would they do this?

Anonymous said...

...and that's why 100 or so admistrators is not necessarily an excessive number.

Right, and you are the expert.

Colonel Jones Survives... said...

You silly nitwits think you can pretend to believe this is Trump's fault? The man has been office less than two months. This is a result of the administration of this clown-circus not properly preparing for the fact that Mississippi did not go along with the medicare increase, period. That happened over three years ago and this is the outcome of it. The hospital leadership ignored reality and failed to acknowledge the train coming out of the tunnel, as if were a mirage.

'Oh, but this is Trump's fault. He will cause the nation to slide into the sea.'

Aside from the obvious lack of preparation, the next biggest disappointment is that Jones is still drawing a paycheck. Who the hell does he have photos of?

Anonymous said...

keep voting for those so-called fiscal conservatives just b/c they have a (R) behind there name.......or because some other uninformed idiot told you too....keep voting for'em.

Anonymous said...

... just b/c they have a (R) behind there name.......or because some other uninformed idiot told you too....

The only two reasons a person of your towering intellect concludes as possible.

Yes, by all means, I want you making all the political decisions for me and mine. We'll sleep so much more soundly now.

Anonymous said...

@ 2:53, yea because the D's that run Jackson have done such a great job!

Anonymous said...

The Republicans and Democrats in Mississippi are ineffective, incompetent and useless!!!! Neither group knows how to invest in Mississippi. When will Mississippians wake-up and learn that they are watching an endless clown show!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

It's a very big place with lots of administrators...here are just a few of the ones at the top:
https://www.umc.edu/About_Us/Leadership.aspx
You can also look at the org charts that UMMC shares on their web site to get a better idea of the complexity of the place. While there is always "dead weight" at an organization this size, I'm sure the vast majority of UMMC employees are dedicated and devoted to their patients and the students they are training. Let's not forget UMMC is responsible for training your soon-to-be family doctor/internist/surgeon/nurse/dentist/physical therapist/medical technologist in your hometown. As Mississippians, we should treasure and support this place when we can. What's happening now may certainly be administration's fault so I hope they took a pay cut like all the faculty did. Did they? Was the person(s) responsible for this lack of planning laid off like so many others? I don't support badmouthing UMMC but the public deserves answers. 8:43 a.m. mentioned the branding campaign...what was that? How much did that cost? Is it still going on? I've seen those Archie Manning billboards. Who paid for that? Has it generated enough support to make sense? Gosh I hope those administrators who have to find ways to conserve resources take a hard look at these things. Best of luck to those who lost jobs and to the staff left who must pick up any slack. God Bless.

Anonymous said...

salaries for administrators of non profits are available on Guidestar website. Look at what CEO of St D makes- you will be shocked....

Anonymous said...

I was in the health care business for a long time, and I always said that if you're more than two levels removed on the org chart from the people who are putting their hands on the patients then you'd better keep your resume current. Hospitals can do just fine with flatter organizations.

Anonymous said...

4:40 - In the past eight years I have had the following operations in Mississippi: Three stents, one knee surgery, gall bladder removal, bilateral discectomy and carpal tunnel release. Not one of these surgeons was trained in Mississippi. So don't give me your bullshit about this facility training my next practitioner or surgeon.

Nor was the physician who does my colonoscopy nor the one who did my nerve conduction test nor the one who sent me for an MRI to determine the reason for my hearing loss. I'm not sure where my dental technician was trained.

Anonymous said...

Medicaid and DSH payments. I wonder why DSH payments to UMMC decreased?

Anonymous said...

"I always said that if you're more than two levels removed on the org chart from the people who are putting their hands on the patients then you'd better keep your resume current."

Did you now? Well, just to test your theory, when was the last time you heard of people at that level in a hospital getting a pink slip? And how many at that level, in this current discussion, are shopping resumes around? ZEE ROW!

Anonymous said...

Hospitals have to get paid even if they are nonprofits. How difficult is it to land on absolute zero in turns of the accounting ledger? I heard that Baptist Hospital was organized as a 'research hospital' at one time. They probably qualified under the laws to get a stream of funding from a drug company who needed experimental leeway. At least they were creative. UMMC is both a charity and a research hospital. But more important-a teaching hospital. Now they are driving into another area--health care collaborative!?! What is that?

Anonymous said...

Does anyone know why UMMC's finances/form 990 are not available on guidestar? As a nonprofit, aren't they required to file form 990 with the IRS?

Anonymous said...

Here is the URL and you have to create an account to get the 990. https://www.guidestar.org/profile/64-6008520

Anonymous said...

I have a guide star account. The problem is that UMMC doesn't have a 990 posted. The information is blank. Does anyone know how/why UMMC, as a nonprofit, is circumventing the requirement to file a form 990 with the IRS?

Anonymous said...

That is a leap. Just because Guidestar doesn't have it doesn't mean it wasn't filed.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's that big of a leap.

By law, 990s are public.

By law, nonprofits are required to file them, although there are some exemptions.

What I want to know:

Is UMMC required to file a 990? If so, where is it? If not, I want to know why they are exempt from filing.

Ghost of Reb.. said...

He refers me to Guidestar for information and then when no information is available on Guidestar, he says that doesn't mean the information is not out there somewhere.

OK....

Still - Can anybody in the universe explain why Dan Jones is still drawing a state paycheck and racking up PERS credits?

Anonymous said...

https://www.aamc.org/advocacy/washhigh/highlights2015/421370/010915irsissuesfinalruleonchnasandotheracarequirements.html

IRS Issues Final Rule on CHNAs and Other ACA Requirements

January 9, 2015—The U.S. Department of the Treasury and Internal Revenue Service (IRS) issued its final rule, “Additional Requirements for Charitable Hospitals; Community Health Needs Assessments for Charitable Hospitals,” in the Dec. 31 Federal Register. While the regulations are effective Dec. 29, 2014, hospitals can continue to rely on both the 2012 and 2013 proposed regulations until the first taxable year beginning after Dec. 29, 2015.

Included as part of the final rule:
Government hospitals that are recognized as 501(c)(3) hospitals must meet the requirements of the rule, except those related to information that must be attached to a Form 990 since government hospitals generally do not file a 990;

Anonymous said...

UMC is the most poorly run place I have ever seen. Too many administrators and managers, many of whom are not qualified for their jobs. They've just been pushed up over the years and advanced to levels far beyond their capabilities. Of course this dead weight stays around, who else would hire them and pay them that much money? I used to do business with UMC. Their contracts and accounts payable departments are a total disaster. We would always give them our highest pricing schedules because of the headache and extra time that it took to deal with them. Your tax dollars at work...

I hate to see anybody lose their job, but salaries there are out of control. Kingfish, I encourage you to try to get a copy of UMC's full budget including detailed salary information and publish it. I say "try to" because, though it is public information, they will make it difficult for you to see it and inconvenient (if not impossible) to get an electronic copy of it. What don't they want people to see?

Doktar Emeritless said...

4:40 - I reviewed the link you provided. Quite an 'impressive' grouping of photos and names aboard the vessel but not one of them is actually toting an oar or paddle. They're all in the wheelhouse shouting down below deck.

And where is Dan Jones on your list/link?

Anonymous said...

UMC is a university and a agency of the State of Mississippi not a non profit 501-c-3.Government does not file 990s.

Anonymous said...

@1044 -- Dan Jones is Interrim Chair of the Department of Internal Medicine, he's not in the upper tier of administration.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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