Saturday, March 25, 2017

The Gutter Punks

The Gutter Punks of New Orleans.  They look so homeless  as well as disgusting.  It seems more and more of them are popping up like mushrooms.  They sprawl out on the sidewalks with their dogs, look and smell as if they haven't had a shower in weeks, and beg for money.  A homeless crisis of sorts, right?  Guess again.  They are called Gutter Punks for a reason because they are anything but homeless. It's an adventure for many of them.  Check out this picture taken in front of a French Quarter hotel:



SUV? Check.  Backpacks? Check.  Pungent odor spray? Check? Dog? Check.  Everything one needs to gutter it in New Orleans while sleeping the night away in a comfortable bed at the Bourbon Orleans.  They even have their own message boards and website.  Check out Squat the Planet. Read the forums, they are somewhat entertaining.  

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

FWIW, Gutter Punks of NO. is the title of a bootleg album by the Who recorded at the old Warehouse In NOLA recorded around 1971.

Anonymous said...

That is why I don't leave Madison. New Orleans is almost as bad as Jackson.

Fake stucco said...

@4:23 the world is a better place with you staying in Madison ....Madison however...

Anonymous said...

I would recommend reading some of the Jack Kerouac and other similar books. They give some insight why people travel and have adventures.

Samuel Begley said...

Folks in the nineth ward refer to them as gypsies.

Anonymous said...

The so-called "gutter punks" make an interesting study of a phenomenon going back to the 60' and 70's. The liberal so-called hippies and other counter-culture whites who chose to live on the streets and in self-imposed poverty to make statements about the inequity of society were just as bullshit as these "homeless" types.
After getting bored with this lifestyle they go back to their high society and trust funds now able to tell their preppy friends how they "know what it's like" to be oppressed and hopeless. It would be great if they had a twilight zone experience and no one recognized them when they go back to their money and friends.

Anonymous said...

4:12pm, do you have a copy of this album or did you see the concert? Pray tell.

Who fan said...

The actual bootleg title I'm familiar with for this is "Gutter Punks At A Warehouse" (CD - Hiwatt Japan).

Recorded at the Warehouse, Tchoupitoulas St., New Orleans, Louisiana, November 29, 1971.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLzbNIW9kxE

lol- the robot preventer for this was select all images with grass :-)

Anonymous said...

I hope 4:12 is making that up, because it would be one of the best comments I've read on this site.

Anonymous said...

WOW, what a low "high"'life....

Anonymous said...

http://www.thewho.net/bootlegs/cds/gutterpunksatawarehouse.html

Anonymous said...

The Who blew through Jackson on one or two occasions. The first in '67 at the Coliseum is well-documented but the late Drake Elder told me of a second at Capitol Towers. He wasn't sure exactly and I've never seen any reference online. I got to meet Roger Daltrey and he confirmed the infamous toilet explosion story that happened at the Holiday Inn in Jackson after their concert. All I had to do was say I was from Jackson and he said "ah yes, they are rather famous for their toilets."

Anonymous said...

My parents thought rock n roll ,in general. and Elvis ,in particular, represented the end of civilization. Elvis represented the " corruption" of our youth in the '50's was probably part of a communist conspiracy until the Army straightened him out.
Before that , it was the "hoods" represented well by Marlon Brando in his youth. Their ducks tails and leather jackets and loud motorcycles and gang mentality were a curse.
Before that, it was the beatniks.
And, before that is was Jazz and flappers.
There will always be youth who look at their parents' life with dismay and think it meaningless. And, they will find some form of rebellion. Some will get tired of rebelling just to rebel and find something more constructive to do. Some will not.
But, for certain, there will be those who will seize the opportunity to feel superior. Most of those will have forgotten that they were less than responsible and wise in their teens and 20's and did stupid things.
But, y'all go ahead and get all worked up and offended and take comfort in being perfect humans now.




Anonymous said...

9:24 - 4:12 here. Why on earth would you think I made that up?

7:12: Yes, I have downloaded that CD more than once. I have no idea where to get a physical copy of it (pretty much everything I listen to nowadays is downloaded).

7:56: Thanks for posting the corrected title. I posted from memory from a hotel without my laptop at hand.

11:36: Do tell - I never heard that story but, since it involves Keith Moon, I believe it automatically :-) and RIP Drake Elder. His son should be graduating HS next month.

Anonymous said...

@7:19- your parents were right. Elvis begat the Beatles. The Beatles gave us the '60's. the 60's gave us the sexual revolution that begat disco. Disco gave us rampant STDs. Disco begat rap. Rap ( and rock, ...., disco) is the putrid bottom of all things that gave us the moral sewer we live in today.

Anonymous said...

That story about how the Who's flight to Jackson started:


https://whoshaq.wordpress.com/2014/12/03/the-who-a-wright-of-passage/

Harmonica Henry.. said...

We've had this phenomenon in the Mississippi Delta for most of a hundred years. Wannabee blues divas and dudes will dress in denim and goofy hats, sweep down through the gate of Memphis, hang for a few days between Clarksdale and Vicksburg, listen to one or two blues records, take the obligatory twelve photos of themselves, eat what they are told is 'soul food' and then leave, experts on The Blues and all things Delta.

Many even write an article or publish a short book and pretend to understand the Delta and The Blues.

Most of the readers of this blog have done this.

Anonymous said...

Harmonica Henry, how OLD do you think "most of the readers of this blog" are? Nobody gives a flyin' puck about the 'Blues', except for an effete few younger misfits, and a dying few older alcoholics/pseudointellectuals/snobs - mostly people who went to Ole Miss. Basically, it's people who think that by listening to that dreck, they'll become "Ivy League".

I grew up in the Delta, live in MADISON, and have NEVER been into a "Soul Food" shithole. I did, however, have some tenants from California, who were hosting friends from California. THEY all went to one of those places. That cured them of their yen to experience "local color". After the eatery, they decided to miss the music portion of their Outward Bound experience.

Anonymous said...

White people complaining about white people trying to act black.

The layers and levels and degrees of wrong are impossible to calculate...except one thing.

Y'all need to get a life.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 4:22 seems totally oblivious to the hundred of thousands of visitors to The Delta from foreign countries and 49 other states, all races, ages and all three sexual demographics.

Meanwhile, his 'local color' is restricted to the Red, White and Blue of PBR on his Madison patio behind the 8 foot fence.

If you have 'tenants from California', that's as far as you need to go with this discussion...

Anonymous said...

If you know where to look, the "gutter punks" can also be found in Jackson, usually around, or en route to, the rail yards near the King Edward. Many work the pot fields in California, and then they head south after the grow season. New Orleans is a mecca, especially around Halloween. I have friends who live the lifestyle by choice, even though daddy might be a doctor in Jackson. They prefer to be called "travelers ", and many live in "squat houses" in the lower districts. I've actually given rides to several groups over the years. Some have sadder stories than others. One group of 4 was stranded on 49 near Flora after getting off the train to get water. I brought them into Jackson and bought them lunch. They all had cell phones and were coordinating with different people around the country on what train to hop in which part of this train yard or that one. It was a lifestyle choice for some of them. That's the first I heard of squattheplanet.com. Personally, it fascinates me.

Anonymous said...

I went to Ole Miss but was fortunate enough not to end up in treeless Madison.

Anonymous said...

"Anon @ 4:22 seems totally oblivious to the hundred of thousands of visitors to The Delta from foreign countries and 49 other states, all races, ages and all three sexual demographics.

Meanwhile, his 'local color' is restricted to the Red, White and Blue of PBR on his Madison patio behind the 8 foot fence.

If you have 'tenants from California', that's as far as you need to go with this discussion..."

March 26, 2017 at 5:29 PM

I'm more than aware that there are visitors to the Delta. I used to drive by "Freedom Village", or whatever it was called, on my way to The Washington School, as a kid. That's where they had the first Blues Festivals, I think. Looked pretty wretched, to me. I'd hear that the fire ants were eating those yankees up - particularly the ones who'd pass-out. As for the "hundreds of thousands of visitors", are you saying all those people come for the Blues events? I suppose that if you added them all up (all the ones who've come since the first "discoverers", in the 1920s & 1930s), they'd probably number in the hundreds of thousands, since that's around 90 years.

Do you think you can guess the gender of posters, by the way they write? Or, maybe you think that only men post on JJ.

There is no booze in our home. And I HATE red, white & blue (including all flags in those colors), so if we DID go in for simple carbohydrates in bottled form (we don't buy soft drinks, either), we'd go for something in less "all-American" packaging - probably some "craft" beer or something, with a label in greens & browns & berry colors.

Fences here are limited to SIX feet (unless you submit plans for something really substantial, from an architect or LA, for board approval - which is as it should be, since tall fences become actual structures, with serious windloads and foundation issues). So, we make-do with six-foot fences, and heavy landscaping. We're currently in the process of upgrading, so thank you for your interest. There's no "patio", though. The plans call our outdoor space the 'Loggia'. We've never understood the need to SIT outside. Maybe that's because we don't smoke, or associate with people who smoke. And neither of us is from a family of big 'sitters'. So, the Loggia's just an empty space for drying-out umbrellas and garden clogs. Should we buy some furniture for our loggia? I'm sure you have an opinion.

Actually, I have tenants from quite a few places (and buildings IN quite a few places). But I'm curious as to why having tenants from California would disqualify me as a poster. Does that make me too "elite"? Or are you implying that people from California are all "nuts & flakes", or druggies, or "liberals" or something else of which you disapprove? In residential properties, I've had several Californians, who were in the area doing internships and residencies. In any event, the tenant who went to the Soul Food place, was from Palos Verdes Estates. His white grandmother invented the Mink Keychain. The Olive side of the family are aristos from Venezuela. I'm sure you'll be able to find something wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

Where is the Flora train-yard? That story is bullshit. PS: Food is served at several places in Flora.

Anonymous said...

10:48 I'm afraid you're busted. Freeedom Village south of Greenville has been nothing more than an agricultural bean field for at least 40 years. And, yes, it was the host site of the Delta Blues Festival for a few years. In fact as many as twelve thousand folks showed up for those events. One power pole and a stage and eighty acres of sunshine.

Other than listening to yourself rattle-on, I'm unable to determine your point in posting. Visit The Delta. You might find something you like. You can have one of 'your people' drive you and they can scout ahead for toilets that would be suitable for your use. If you like, I can get you Morgan Freeman's autograph and I can certainly arrange a turnip-green sandwich for both of you. Chitlins if you book ahead of time. Y'all come on back now.

Anonymous said...

Hey 10:23. Not sure why you are calling "bullshit" on my story about picking up the "travelers" on 49 near Flora. There is a rail line that runs north out of Jackson to Memphis (I never said there was a rail yard there). I had plenty of friends that used to hop north bound trains in downtown Jackson for fun and jump off in Flora (20 years ago). I'm not sure if those tracks are still active, but this was over 5 years ago when they were active. It was summer time and the kids jumped off a moving train in Flora to find water. All the subsequent trains were going too fast for them to hop back on. I had business in Flora and was on my way back to Jackson when I saw them sitting on the side of 49. They were headed south and so was I. My only regret was that it took weeks for the stench to leave my van! From Jackson, they hitched a ride to Meridian. Apparently the train that goes to New Orleans from Meridian arrives at a more desirable yard (for "travelers") in NO than the passenger train that leaves out of Jackson.

Anonymous said...

I was walking through Manhattan and came across a woman sitting in front of an office building holding a cup with a sign that said something like, "homeless, hungry. Please help. God bless." She had her head down, but I could discern a few things. She was white and looked to be in her mid 20s. Her clothes were shabby, but not ragged (similar to the people in the picture above) and she was not thin like someone who was genuinely hungry. In fact, she looked like a person who kept herself in shape. Bottom line was that if she was hungry and homeless, it was by choice, and it was a choice she could likely alter at her whim.

"Please help." All I would have been helping was for her to continue dabbling in her vagabond lifestyle.

This is the province of the well-to-do. They're playing hobo, and even if they are completely self-sufficient in this endeavor (i.e. not driving mommy's Honda Pilot from town to town), they have a safety net that real people in need do not. If they get in too much trouble, the 'rents are a phone call away with a free plane ticket to a warm bed and a home-cooked meal.

As someone above said, they're convinced that they are getting a real understanding of the plight of the homeless, but all they are doing it dipping their toe in, knowing they're never going to completely drown. There will always be someone to bail them out if their little experiment goes south. In the process, they are damaging the genuinely needy, because as we become inured to these hucksters who are begging for a few bucks to keep living a life of low responsibility, we stop assisting those who may really need our charity.

I find societal leeches like this totally off-putting. They're the same people who wait in line for ten days to buy the latest iPhone and regale their friends with stories from their "adventure". All the while, someone who works is subsidizing their little urban camp-out. Someone is keeping the rent paid and the lights on at their residence. Someone is feeding them and clothing them and taking care of them while they waste a fortnight waiting for the privilege of spending $650 on a piece of technology that they pretty much already have.

Maybe this has occurred in previous generations, but I think it is amplified now. At best, it's obnoxious and annoying. At worst, it can cause real damage to others who don't have this grand choice to leave when they're tired of their Columbia sleeping bag and are ready to get back to their Tempurpedic mattress.

Anonymous said...

I'm always very surprised by what people are willing to say on the internet.

Thanks for your opinion, Greenville to Madison with Venezuela ties.

Here's an interesting link on the Delta.

Anonymous said...

9:34 AM They are young and just learning. They will eventually figure out to be a real societal leach you have to be in one of the offices in Manhattan.

Anonymous said...

This thread has attracted the best in creative writing.

Anonymous said...

Straw Man at 4:23 was damn effective. Pile up this NOLA thread with hate for all things MaAadison, 'cause that'll sure fix everyone's issues.

Anonymous said...

@12:29pm Tee hee. I know you think you're clever.

Fact is that these are rich kids playing poor. It's become far too tolerated in our society to allow young people to grow into physical adulthood with no stake in the game of maturity. In other words, we indulge the overgrown adolescent. I never thought I'd see a time where society holds up and praises 33-year-old fat guys who dress up like Batman or Captain Kirk to play pretend with a bunch of other thirtysomething people.

This urban bummery is just another manifestation of such. Kids can go on pretending to be characters from TV or super heroes or hoboes, and mom and dad subsidize it.

I know two guys who are in their mid 30s. Both were kind of nerdy kids and were awkward around girls. One had a deadbeat dad and was raised by his grandparents. He went to work at 20 and met a nice girl. He has two kids and a house now and coaches his daughter's soccer team.

The other one still lives at home with his mother (his dad died) and works on an IT helpdesk. He pays no rent, no utilites, and helps with the groceries. He plays a TON of video games and collected comics at least until last year. He's very inactive and is probably 75 lbs overweight. He has no direction and no ambition. He is complacent in his activities that are better suited for a middle teenager.

I used to feel sorry for the guy who was raised by his grandparents, but they didn't coddle him (they really couldn't afford to) and he is now an independent man. The other guy is nice as can be but as a grown-up, he's pathetic. He couldn't live on his own if he had to. He doesn't even do his own laundry, for Pete's sake!

I contend that letting your child bum around the US, begging for change and traveling from town to town is just as bad. You teach them that they need not progress in life. In fact, they can pretty much drop out and be worthless.

This is not new. Jesus's parable of the Prodigal Son is all about this behavior. The difference is that the Prodigal took his inheritance and squandered it, then was ashamed. Today's kids are doing that, but there is little shame in coming home. In fact, many return with a sense of entitlement, as if to say, "I'm done with this phase, now I demand you feed me and clothe me and take care of me until I'm ready to indulge my next diversion".

I'll take the people in the Manhattan skyscraper over these bums any day.

"Who's" on first? said...

Ok, so this discussion of Gutter Punks is mildly interesting, but the discussion about The Who, one of my favs for a long long long time, is very interesting. The person who talked about them being at the coliseum in '67 and "Capitol Towers" later has it backwards. That "Capitol Towers" concert was actually at the old city auditorium in the same location before CT was built. Back in the 60's they had lots of concerts there by, mostly, minor British Invasion bands. I sat near the front row of that '67 (or whenever) concert just SURE I was going to catch Pete Townsend's guitar after he bashed it up and threw it out to the audience (didn't happen). They did later play in the coliseum... at least once. Think I was in college, so early/mid 70's before Keith Moon died, then again after unless I'm confusing that with the trip we made to LSU to see them there in the late 70s.

Anonymous said...

"10:48 I'm afraid you're busted. Freeedom Village south of Greenville has been nothing more than an agricultural bean field for at least 40 years. And, yes, it was the host site of the Delta Blues Festival for a few years. In fact as many as twelve thousand folks showed up for those events. One power pole and a stage and eighty acres of sunshine.

Other than listening to yourself rattle-on, I'm unable to determine your point in posting. Visit The Delta. You might find something you like. You can have one of 'your people' drive you and they can scout ahead for toilets that would be suitable for your use. If you like, I can get you Morgan Freeman's autograph and I can certainly arrange a turnip-green sandwich for both of you. Chitlins if you book ahead of time. Y'all come on back now."
March 27, 2017 at 8:28 AM

AND? What, in your substance-soaked brain, constitutes "busted"? Busted for being over 40? Or busted for something which, to you, seems chronologically impossible (Are you innumerate, in addition to being addle-headed?) I just looked it up, and the Blues thing was moved from Freedom Village in '87. The first one was in '78. That would make my recollections between 30 and 39 years old. I was driving at age 15. Do I have to do the math for you, too?

And, do I need to point out the wide gulf between "twelve to fifteen thousand" and your original phrasing of "hundreds of thousands"? Anyway, please forgive me, but your description of "one power pole, a stage, and 80 acres of sunshine" sounds more like Bergen-Belsen, to me, than Heaven-on-Earth - particularly after you factor-in the heat, the humidity, the bottomland-beanfield-buckshot-mud (Have you ever experienced walking, with inches of that stuff caked on your shoes?),the mosquitoes and the Fire Ants.

Thank you for your kind offer to arrange "facilities" for me, but I am know plenty of people in the Delta. They pop-in, when they're in the Jackson Metro, and I am graciously encouraged to use the powder rooms in their homes, when I'm on the road. As for the autographs of obnoxious old POTHEAD actors...NTY. Likewise for the Soul Food. I'm not New Money, and so have NO need to indulge in Reverse Snobbery (the only reason for eating the SLOP you describe). Besides, there's pork in most of that stuff.

But yes: there are things in the Delta that I DO like: acres and acres of valuable farmland - some of which I own, and some that I'd love to buy.



Anonymous said...

Let's take a vote. The choices are 1. Be a gutter punk in New Orleans with lots of good music, lots of good food, etc. or 2. Live in Madison next on a street with a sea of Tater and Trump signs and hope Queen Mary does not send the SWAT team because the garden gnome in your yard is the wrong color.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather be a fire hydrant in Madison than the farging mayor of New Orleans. The last time I was forced to go down there on family business it took three wash cycles to get the smell out of my clothes.

Anonymous said...

5:51 - Here's a vote for option 2. I prefer orderly-hued garden gnomes to puke-filled streets.

Anonymous said...

5:51 - Here's a vote for option 2. I prefer orderly-hued garden gnomes to puke-filled streets.

Anonymous said...

@5:51 - If you choose to live as these punks do, then you really can't take advantage of the good food, unless you consider Lucky Dogs haute cuisine.

New Orleans is dirty as hell. I was in New York 2 weeks ago and New Orleans on Sunday and the two cities are miles apart in terms of cleanliness and repair. New Orleans needs to do whatever New York did 25 years ago to clean itself up.

Mock Madison all you want, but it is the most desirable community in the entire state for many people with the highest median income. That's largely due to Mary.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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