This ESPN video from 2008 about Penn State will make much more sense now. >
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
And now for the rest of the Nittany Lion story
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
12 comments:
Everything Paterno did was out of desparation ~ for his personal image. Covering up for Sandusky is the tip of an iceberg that will likely never be revealed.
Paterno now looks scary, and for good reason. But I'm only commenting on that mess as a chance to recommend "Bailout," the new book by Neil Barofsky. Another cold-blooded look at the world of bureaucrats (in this case the Treasury Dept.) whose main focus is ensuring that they can get a job with the companies they are regulating. And much more on Wall Street as a de facto self-regulating organization. As many have observed, if it were not for the fact that we now have debit cards for the hungry, there would be bread lines all over America. Barofsky is frank: there will be no change until there is mass rage. I may join the Tea Party.
I thought Paterno was a jerk then and certainly think so today. Wonder what Barry Switzer and Jackie Sherrill have to say about it?
We don't know that Switzer and Sherrill haven't done similar things. It's probably more prevalent than anyone realizes.
We don't know that ANY Div. I coaches haven't done similar things, not just Switzer and Sherrill. I don't see many candidates for sainthood among SEC coaches, for example.
Someone on the SI website wrote that if the NCAA had ever REALLY been concerned with ethics and morality, Bobby Petrino would never have been allowed in college towns, much less allowed to coach.
I know that anything's possible and Switzer and Sherrill aren't choirboys, but is anyone seriously suggesting that they've covered up for a child molester? I don't think so. Chasing women seems to be a common mistake that many popular coaches make, and recruiting violations are spread far and wide. Throw in misusing booster club money and applying pressure to get players through tough classes and you just about have all the normal situations wherein a college coach might step out of bounds. None of those offenses can be compared to what Paterno did. None.
For those of you who seemed to miss point of the Switzer/Sherrill comment, Paterno once said he couldn't retire and leave college football to the Barry Switzers and Jackie Sherrills of the world. Turns out they're the good guys when compared to him...
Cover up for a child molester? Maybe not. Cover up for a football player who rapes coeds? Or one who sells drugs to kids? Or one who is part of a gang/organized crime? I'd believe it in a heartbeat. The point is that covering up ANY crime to "protect the program" is the same thing that Paterno, et. al., did.
The heinousness of the crime really shouldn't make a difference. If it did, where is the line? It's bad to rape little boys, but it's OK if it's cheerleaders? It's bad to lie to a grand jury, but it's OK to lie to the local police? What athletic departments need to understand is that it's not their call how a criminal act should be dealt with, it's up to the authorities.
Sherrill and Switzer are mentioned ONLY because of what Paterno said, true. But they are also good examples because they coached big-name programs. It could just as easily be Saban or Stoops. Heck, I'd lay money it's been Kiffen. And I would be more surprised if those guys and the ones with similar prominent programs have NOT covered for some player's or staff member's crime than if they had.
Basically, I think there's a little bit of Paterno in all of them.
Penn State will be fortunate if enough players stay for them to be able to compete in a 7 on 7 intramural league.
When I was an undergrad, the "meatheads" ran rampant on campus and in town, and the coaches were able to keep it all quiet with few, if any, prosecutions. The meats ransacked a small fraternity house and its occupants for putting up a sign in their yard protesting some losing efforts. They had the same "you don't know who you're messing with" attitude because you really were messing with someone pretty much immune to the rule of law. I remember them roaming through the campus bookstore picking up several items and just walking out and no one did or said anything. That was the early 70's, so it was easier to contain back then, but the athlete's attitudes probably haven't changed too much, they just get caught and dealt with more these days.
2:36, you make some really good points. Any coach who covers up violent behavior should be sent to prison. Unfortunately they already knew that before Sandusky, and I'm not sure any of them ever believe they'll get caught. Maybe the maim penalty that Penn State got will make them think twice in the future. I still feel badly for the current players and coaches, though.
A rising star on the Ole Miss football team was suspended indefinitely today following his third arrest. Already the alums are chanting 'Let him slide'. And that would be the alumni chant no matter which team the boy played for. The puzzle piece in all this crap that we seem to be missing is US ~ the ones who demand more ticks in the 'W' column, REgardless.
What's a little 'shoot em up' at a Southern Miss nightclub? What's an arrest here and there in Starkville? Or a few televisions or radios stolen from motel rooms by Ole Miss players? Or the knotheads at Valley and Alcorn who can't spell on a fourth grade level? It's all about the 'W'.
There are still a few places where football is played by true student athletes. The Ivy League, where there are no athletic scholarships, and the service academies where everyone is on the same scholarship still do it the old way. I'll never forget being at the Air Force/Army game back in the late 1980's when they announced that of the 44 players starting on offense and defense for both teams, 21 had been their high school class valedictorian. That's a stat you'll never hear them mention at the BCS Championship. All schools would do well to follow their leads, but Shadowfax is right - the fans won't let them. In an indirect way, anyone who has ever supported big time college football can be blamed for the culture that allowed Sandusky and Paterno to do what they did at Penn State, so I guess it's fitting that all of us be punished.
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