This 2006 report by the American Truckers' Association gives one a rather chilling picture of what will happen if for whatever reason, the trucks stopped rolling. Read the last page. :
Thursday, July 26, 2012
When the trucks stop rolling
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
18 comments:
Another case for NOT bombing Iran.
No relationship to Iran, bombed or not; but, who is advocating a cessation of nationwide trucking?
It's only another ridiculous pipedream in the arsenal of goofy liftist journalists. Similar to the 'Cultural Effects of Sex Habits of Aboriginal Hermaphrodites on Vacation Patterns in Italy'.
And for those of you who think driving a truck is beneath them, read the above, and then realize what happens when no one will drive them:
http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/employment/story/2012-06-22/truck-driver-shortage/55797686/1
This very scenario occurred during Katrina.
The author might as well have interviewed anyone from Jackson. When we lost access to supplies trucked in, or even local trucking deliveries due to disruption in fuel. We saw it. It didn't get to the point of what we saw occur in NOLA or on the coast. We did experience similar effects described here though.
Revelations type of event would have to occur for this to happen. The trucking industry has such a high turn over rate. There will always be someone else to replace that driver. The wages need to be alittle higher because you're asking him/her to make a huge sacrifice by being away from his/her family for weeks at a time. You have to give up everything for this lifestyle.
Trucking is bad for men especially as many develop prostate problems. Being bipeds means you are constructed to walk not do long hauls. Its crazy for people in the Deep South to receive veggies from California or Old Mexico via 18 wheelers.
Kangaroo; what alternate universe were you living in after Katrina? There was minimal disruption of interstate truck traffic other than along the I-10 and a few coast-northbound corridors. The author, it sounds to me, is foreseeing a nationwide disruption, as opposed to a very temporary regional blip that you describe.
More alarming to us should be the groups of 'owner operators' who employ large numbers of foreign nationals to drive long haul shipments. Obviously, if these groups of truckers ever intend to simultaneously target certain parts of our infrastructure (water plants, power substations, federal buildings, dams), all across the country, we will be in deep trouble. It could literally overshadow what occurred on 9/11.
Shadowfax~
Really"
Meaning like the the "spontaneous combustion" event at 14:00 into Babs' and Bris' own 9/11 video.
Maybe Mohammed Atta was able to parachute out of the plane before impact--dropping his passport in the process--and inserting a satchel explosive charge into the building that is depicted in Babs' video. What luck though, FBI agents found Atta's passport on the sidewalk beneath the "towering inferno" of the Twin Towers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNNTcHq5Tzk
Um, I was in the gasoline industry. What prey tell alternate universe were you in during the week shit hit the fan? I know I was working like a dog to get distribution back and finding reserves for critical services. You really are a hayseed sometimes.
Oh yeah and I was providing protection to gas stations from the animals that were drawing guns on the attendants.
Kap'n: Then your business should stop restricting its supply to only certain refineries. Hayseed? Whose fault is it that your tanks were limited to suppliers south of I-20. The subject here is the nationwide trucking industry, not simply your little piece of the pie. Not sure how much you know about trucking (outside tank trucks) but it's not limited to those trucks that carry long wooden measuring sticks.
Got no earthly idea what Pug is trying to say. But, I'll say this; You take 30 to 50 gas or chemical haulers driven by Jordanians or other Arabs, owned by someone outside this country and simultaneously target 30-50 municipal utility systems, nuclear facilities, giant water plants, bridges, football stadiums or highly volatile industrial sites spread all across America and you'll THINK Mohamed Attah! After 9/11, that was exactly one of our greatest fears.
Um, interstate and local trucking south of Memphis was shut down. Vicksburg was shut down. Those that had reserves were unable to truck it. No one could get to work. And if you can't equate the natural disaster results as a smaller scale of what was described in the article; I fear, it is your comprehension that is lacking. I humbly submit "uncle" to you mental prowess - or lack there of.
Looks like I'll need to update my Y2K go-bag. The only items left in it are a pint of peach brandy, a pencil, three .22 cartridges and a jar of pickled beets.
K'Root; I know the diesel fumes can be overwhelming (from experience), but you might want to check with KLLM, Yellow Freight, the LTL carriers based in Jacktown, JB Hunt, Crete, Old Dominion, US Express and a few others if you think Katrina shut down everything south of Memphis. Interstate truck traffic was stalled for a day at most south of St Louis and east of Dallas, but, lanes were open for all but southern-based refineries in a matter of a day and a half. Fuel deliveries, compared to the overall plight of interstate truck-movement, were a pimple on the ass of Katrina recovery.
I wasn't just talking about fuel. I was talking about food distribution and other necessary sundries as well, but started there - i was also involved in the food and beverage distribution as well. Think water. Get back to your drinking, it obviously hasn't kicked in enough yet.
Pimple. Ha! You are silly.
K'Root. I rarely drink. Find something else to amuse yourself. I don't know how many on here you think are interested in what you were doing during Katrina. The subject here is the shutdown of nationwide trucking. It has not happened yet and did NOT happen during Katrina. Water was never a problem during Katrina unless you were within six miles of the ninth ward. And please...tell us what 'necessaries sundries' were unavailable. Trucks were rolling south out of Jackson packed to the rafters with water and other supplies four days after the event. Perhaps you volunteered to help load them as some of the rest of us did.
As was suggested earlier, you really need to stay clear of the fuel island. The fumes have gotten to you.
Please continue to amuse.
Oh, BTW, now I know you didn't read the article. Did you read what happens after four days? Toodles.
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