Friday, December 9, 2011

The Homeboy Shopping Network presents: Tyrone Lewis merchandise.

Note: These items are actually for sale on Tyrone Lewis's Facebook page. Apparently Anderson and some others didn't get that.

Thats right. While you are taking a break from the game, check out our latest merchandise from Tyrone Lewis:

That's right. Yo' Sheriff wants yo' money. Cuz we all know dat's what its about: mo money mo money mo money. Our two reviewers even gave it two special Zorro snaps. Get your Ty-rone Lewis merchandise now. And remember: no job, no problem, no credit, no problem, no money, PROBLEM!. Contact our flygirls below to get yo' Tyrone Lewis merchandise:

Busy day with lots to carry? Our new Tyrone Lewis tote has room for everything you need to bring with you. Nylon with sturdy straps, and an embroidered Hinds County Sheriff Department logo on the front or stay hydrated with a campaign water bottle, complete with a royal-blue top and official Tyrone Lewis Sheriff logo. To purchase these items, please contact Rebecca L. Anderson (601-906-4567) or Alberta Ross-Gibson (601-941-1938)

Now since some of you don't know parody and satire when you see it, here is Mr. Lewis's actual Facebook page this afternoon:


Anonymous said...

hahahahaha You brought back some fun memories---the reviewers say "hated it"....but this one gets 2 snaps. haha

Anonymous said...

Who paid for this?

Kim Wade said...

Its paid from leftover campaign funds which you did not contribute. Malcolm Macmillin is still in charge of the sheriff department's purse strings.

This is petty and in the inference that funds came from county funds harms JJ carefully cultivated reputation of having the facts before it launches a story.
Kim Wade

Anonymous said...

You gotta be kidding!!

Kingfish said...

No one said it come from county funds. No one. Its on his FB page and was put up there several hours ago. That means today. He's not in office yet and gee, I think that is the Sheriff's insignia on the bag.

You've got it wrong. No one said it came from county funds. No one.

bill said...

It's funny but would have been completely legitimate had he waited until he was in office and run all the money through his campaign. Send in a $10 contribution and get a handsome water bottle, $20 for the man bag. There may be an issue with using the official seal of the sheriff's office, but if he's doing this through his campaign he shouldn't have any problem beyond the silly factor.

Anonymous said...

The question is not who paid for them but rather if they were paid for with campaign funds then this would launder the money into an individuals account? Since I am not a lawyer this is posed as a question.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish I think you should be flattered that they would take the time to peruse your website to make comments. The article didn't say that taxpayer dollars went toward the merchandise nor did one of the comments. The person just asked who paid for this. Kim Wade's comments made an inference to tax payer dollars in his defense. Hmmm I wonder why?

Anonymous said...

Is use of the county's insignia for profit a misappropriation of county property? Just curious.

Anonymous said...

2:01 here. KF, you got me giggling so much, I just had to look on the internet to see if "hated it" and two-snaps was still around. Lo and behold, the clips are on YouTube.

"Two special zoro snaps"---oh, thanks KF. Needed the big haha this afternoon.

Anonymous said...

Does the good (soon to be ) Hinds County Sheriff accept PayPal ?

I would love a Tyrone Tote Bag.

Anonymous said...

What is this, are you serious. How did this man win. Well let the money getting begin.

Anonymous said...

Just hope he pays the sales tax on what he sells. The State could use the money.

Anonymous said...

The inference that it was paid with "county funds" comes from the fact that the sheriff's logo was used, not anything written here.

Kim's attempt to deflect only magnifies that the logo use is an issue.

But, on the subject of shopping. How many remodels, renovations, floods, disasters, liquidations, etc does Carter Jewelers go through in a year?

Anonymous said...

and this hinds county is yo sheriff . just out for money.

Anonymous said...

tyrone and kim....a pair made for each other!

Anonymous said...

So what? If folks want to spend their money for his stuff...who cares?

Anonymous said...

Bony finger aka Kimmmmm Waaaaade is a Tyrone man? Figures since he's in bed with the former DA Faye....errrr...
Facts? Bony finger don't need no facts!

Anonymous said...

While we are piling on Hinds County, why has no one mentioned the armed robbery that occurred at the Renaissance Mall in Ridgeland. Someone was forced at gun point to an ATM.

Anonymous said...

Those two dollar bags are selling for $20? What a rip...WAIT! If you order before noon today, they'll double your order, just pay additional handling and shipping charges; and they'll include two ballpoint pens; a fifteen dollar value, free.

And if you put a dollar in the 'Sheruff Gas Fund', you'll get a free "Who's Pocket Is Kim Wade In?" lapel pin suitable for felt western hat or Sunday suit.

Anonymous said...

The main problem with this story, and some of the comments, is the confusion with two separate and distinct skits from "In Living Color":
the "Homeboy Shopping Network" and "Men on Film". "Men" did the Zorro snap. Jeesh.

Nuff2Say said...

well if "Its paid from leftover campaign funds" then where does the $$$ go once I order one?? or better yet who is getting the money for this...

The Inaugural Ball for Sheriff Tyrone Lewis
Tickets for this event are $50.00 per person. *Invitation Only*
Date: January 6, 2012
Time: 7:30pm - 11:30pm
Location: Fondren Hall located at 4330 North State Street, Jackson, MS 39206 (Next to Room by Room Furniture)
Event Overview: Semi-Formal Reception
To purchase tickets, please contact Rebecca L. Anderson (601-906-4567) or Alberta Ross-Gibson (601-941-1938)

Anonymous said...

Kim has his panties in a wad this morning? Who gives a crap about 'yo new sheriff' anyway. Hinds County is doomed.

Shadowfax said...

Thanks to 9:31 for giving me the opportunity I've longed for for months. Carter Jewelers, with it's gooped-down-smush-haired spokesman, is undergoing yet another radical renovation (not a flood this time) that requires all merchandise be sold for half the lowest ticketed price.

The roof didn't fall in this time and there's no disaster affecting the Pemberton Mall in Vicksburg, but, sadly, they have to close their doors for renovations and everything must go. Jerry what's his face tells Edward St. Pe that this may be the biggest sale in the history of Jackson, bar none. Everything down to the bare walls must go. Kim Wade will be there with a Toys R Us microphone and seven inch square amp to moderate this biggest event ever. Corner High Street and State Street. Since 1784. Bring your truck and trailer. Harvey will have cops on hand for the buying public's safety.

KaptKangaroo said...

Funny but all you get this year is a $50 Gift Certificate to the premier Jackson Steakhouse versus the diamond earrings valued at over $200.

Man, the economy really does suck.

Anonymous said...

In all fairness, the Facebook post in reference to the Inaugural event doesn't say *Invitation Only*.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS