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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
59 comments:
You need to add Table 100. Their fillet is outstanding.
It is funny KF that the Eichelmouth -- who along with the "Better Mississippi Report" is one of the official unofficial PR appendages of the woefully dysfunctional Donkeycrat Party -- is heralding one of your 'vote early and often' polls as an important component in his bio.
As recognition for his work inside and outside of the courtroom, Matt was chosen by Jackson Jambalaya as the best criminal defense lawyer in Jackson in 2009.
I can't think of a better reason when hiring an attorney than to look for the JJ online poll seal of approval.
Yeah I know and I said at the time I didn't consider it a legitimate result. Eigh over Kirksey? Please.
I really think Tico's is overrated. But, at almost every place on the poll I have had different experiences.
And I really want to try Table 100. Heard only fantastic things
The Weber that sits on my patio should be on that list.
Shapleys. Not a better steak in town...and I travel a good bit...not a better steak found yet anywhere else...Beats Puck's "Cut" in Beverly Hills...Emerils Del Monico in Vegas...Gibsons....Berns in Tampa...anything in KC...
Two more votes for Shapley's here.
I think RPH is overrated
Tico's
Shapley's does have an incredible steak...Everytime we have been to 463 my steak has been perfect. I actually like Bonefish's steak as well.
Never been to Ro'Chez...Is it good?
Shapley's and Tico's. Bleh. It's steak for those who don't know better.
Sorry...I grill the best steaks if I say so myself...
2" thick strip or filet. Marinate with Wishbone, rub with Montreal Steak rub. Big Green Egg at 700 degrees. 4 minutes side one, 3 minutes side two. PERFECT and kicks any SH anywheres' ass.
Do they eat meat in Fondren? I thought their staples were tofu and crow.
okay.....can anyone suggest a good grill then? My husband prefers charcoal (and in my opinion, it does taste better) than gas, but I want to get him a kick butt grill for father's day. I have heard nothing but good things about the egg. His speciality is ribs (right KF :)....So all you master grillers please suggest the best grill
No doubt there are differences of opinions on brands. I've been cooking almost exclusively with Weber charcoal kettles and gas grills for 40 years with much success.
Whatever you do don't purchase an off-brand grill as you'll struggle to find replacement parts for it later when you need them. If you are going to use LP versus natural gas buy him an extra tank for seamless availability.
The Chargriller line gets rave reviews on the BBQ boards. I personally have a Duo (Model 5050) with the separate side firebox atachment. It is two grills in one with separate gas and charcoal sides. The side firebox lets me use it as a smoker too. The Trio (Model 7474) is the same but with the side firebox included.
The Duo is available at Lowes and the Trio is available at Tractor Supply Company.
If you happen to decide a Chargriller is your choice, do a search for "chimney mod" and "basket mod" for a couple of cheap ways to make it even better. There is even a dedicated thread on the Barbequebible.com forum for Chargrillers.
http://www.barbecuebible.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=1467
http://www.tractorsupply.com/lawn-garden/outdoor-living/outdoor-cooking/char-griller-reg-trio-gas-and-charcoal-grill-with-side-fire-box-4449832
http://www.lowes.com/pd_5050-49769-5050_4294857763+4294961701_44_?productId=1245537&Ns=p_product_prd_lis_ord_nbr|0||p_product_quantity_sold|1&pl=1¤tURL=%2Fpl_CharGriller_4294857763%2B4294961701_44_%3FNs%3Dp_product_prd_lis_ord_nbr%7C0%7C%7Cp_product_quantity_sold%7C1&facetInfo=Char-Griller
BIG GREEN EGG. PERIOD.
Baby backs, after soaking in white vinegar membrane removed for 30 minutes, 225 degrees 3 hours rubbed up completely with "Famous Dave's Rib Rub" (bought online). Then direct heat for 30 munites at 350, coating with your favorite BBQ sauce. Perfect.
Spare ribes same deal but 1 hour longer at 225.
I found a Char-Broil Quantum Infrared 4-Burner Self-Cleaning Propane Grill....Have zero idea what all that means however. I usually just read reviews on everything....
Get the weber then. I've had both and Weber much better.
Well you know what he cooks and what he likes KF...go with the weber?
And he already has one....I want the big fancy silver thing. See why a woman shouldn't make these decisions??
He told me he didn't want the egg...for whatever reason.
You do realize your husband reads this site, right?
Green Eggs are too expensive. Webers are ok.
The best of the best is the PK Grill. PK for Portable Kitchen. Made in Arkansas and built to last.
I know he reads this site....He will probably come home tonight and tell me he doesn't want a new grill. But guess what. He is getting a new grill. And I am reading up on everyone's suggestions. And new grill equals more rib cookouts KF...
http://www.biggreenegg.com/
http://www.traegergrills.com/
BGE rules but Traeger grills are cool too. Don't get as HOT as an egg however, and HOT is required for seared pittsburg syle steaks.
Weber's are good, but controlling steady temperature is guesswork.
Three of the best steaks in town got left out. Phillips on the Rez, McB's, and Fat Tuesdays. All three of these unlikely places have THE BEST ribeyes!
Shapley's needs to work on their service.
Egg. Got one. Will NEVER go back. Use it all the time.
all you big green eggers make me sick, you are like a cult, worse than Pinelake. Perhaps it is a cult within a cult. You spend a hour getting the fucker ready to cook for seven minutes, hahahaha. I turn my Weber genesis on for ten minutes and it gets 650 degrees, cooks a steak in ten minutes and no charcoal flavor.
Weber's are good, but controlling steady temperature is guesswork.
Maybe for charcoal but not for gas.
"Weber's are good, but controlling steady temperature is guesswork."
I guess i was lucky to hold 245-250 on a kettle for 6hrs yesterday. Controlling temp with dampers and size of the fire is really not that complicated. The Green Egg seems to take much of the skill & technique out of bbqing.
"cooks a steak in ten minutes and no charcoal flavor." NO CHARCOAL FLAVOR!!! GOOD LORD!!! DO YOU NOT USE WOOD CHIPS EITHER?
"Maybe for charcoal but not for gas." GAS GRILLING TAKES THE SKILL OUT AND SUCKS.
"The Green Egg seems to take much of the skill & technique out of bbqing" GREAT. THAT IS WHY I LOVE IT.
to my dear wife. please do not buy me a grill. I will buy a new one. A woman should not buy a man a grill unless she gets make and model from said man's mouth. It would be like a man buying a woman a purse or shoes with out consulting his wife (which unfortunately i have done, but got lucky)I LOVE YOU.
MINT
Well damn
Damn it. Don't buy him no frigging BBQ.
In re:May 16, 2011 8:36 AM
1. It take five minutes to heat up the natural wood charcoal. And I get that joker up to 750 within a few more minutes. It does take skill and is a hell of a lot more fun. I also don't like the stylish girly look of a guy grilling on a stainless grill, looks more like you think you know what you are doing.
2. It cooks under convection which is second only to an IR Grill which the likes of The Palm, Emiril's etc. use. In other words, stick with your stainless grill, those who like real food will take the time to do it right.
3. It doesn't leave that gas taste whether you use gas or regular charcoal. If you like bland, stay stainless.
4. I don't eat rodents, so your gas grill, in your case, is probably best.
Gas verses charcoal has always been a heated fight Kaptain Marmot, some like the flavor, some don't. I have had plenty of steaks both ways, but I prefer mine over a gas grill. If I am cooking filet, I do them in the oven under a broiler with a little browned butter and parsley. The poll shows most like theirs that way, since Tico's and Shapley's both use an 1800 degree broiler. So take your BGE and shove it up you ass.
"It cooks under convection which is second only to an IR Grill"
KK, name a grill gas, wood or charcoal that does not promote a convective heat transfer, and BTW, there are no similarities between a BGE and IR grill other than the fact that they both cook with dry heat.
May 16, 2011 11:49 AM
Not a fan of Tico's or Shapley's, especially Shapley's.
The butter is a bit over the top at Tico's and frankly everytime I've eaten at both and the steak tastes more "Choice" than "Prime". If I remember correctly they are "Choice" cuts and not prime. I may be wrong.
As to cooking, you have your sermon and I have mine. Frankly, I much prefer cooking a brisket for 24 hours over charcoal than gas. I'm not sure how economical or taste-worthy a gas grill would be in that situation. Same goes for short-ribs, you cannot beat the BGE for even cooking at low temps or at high temps.
With a gas grill you have direct flame on the meat or you have a concentrated heating element which does not allow you to cook in a convection heat environment without crisping the shit out of it. Additionally, the convection process of a BGE is completely different in terms of heat transfer. The process in a green egg is more uniform and does not promote areas of heat that burners typically burn or lead to overcooking the meat.
Don't care what you think, I have had mine for a few years. I thought what a crock of shit, until I bought one. Now, I'm sold.
Take it for what it is worth, folks here wouldn't sound so excited about it if they didn't believe it for themselves.
Oh and F-off.
4:04 you ROCK. The BGE made me an expert cook....period. Kinda like using a big ass driver, and not an old fashioned wood in golf. If this is "cheating", I am a proud cheater.
Boston Butt at 200 degrees for 15 hours....never touch the Egg after you get it there.
He is jealous because he is a Democrat and can't afford one.
KK you rock.....and your post made my day.
Shapleys
EGG. I CAN KICK SHAPELY'S ASS FROM HERE TO MEMPHIS, AND THEY GET THEIR STRIPS FROM SAM'S JUST LIKE ME (REALLY).
Do not get me started about Shapley's. Funny but Kharma has it's rewards.
I was asked by the owner about the quality of the meal. I told him the fillet was no better than I could cook and I do cook it better.
The next day I was threatened with my job, apparently the truth hurts and speaking honestly (after asking if he would be offended) didn't set so well.
The next day after a local business partner brought my honesty to the attention of my superiors and made it clear - yes, you are being honest, but I have to do business with him - I had to send an email apologizing for the crap food that was served.
Shapley's is not what you all think it is. It is not a Prime Steak House.
It is a choice house that aspires.
Kharma is a bitch.
Helped organize a function at Wynndale a couple of months ago. The owner told me he recently switched to prime cuts. He was right, it was a great steak. Nothing fancy, no elegant sauces. Just meat, with salt and pepper seasoning. Sometimes simple is the way to go.
Wynndale Steakhouse is great, if you want GREAT food, laid back "country store" atmosphere, and a place where, if you order the hamburger steak, they ask you if you want it charcoal grilled or skillet fired. I love that place.
Real steaks are cooked on charcoal, and have a unique "smoky" flavor. I am from NE Jxn, and it is worth the drive. BYOB except beer.
Where is Wynndale Steakhouse?
the big green egg is nothing more than a kiln to bake clay sculptures. i guess some hippy decided he would cook some veggies in his kiln and voila. real men use charcoal and metal... the better you can cook on a cheap grill the better the reward...
wynndale steakhouse - i-55 south past byram before terry is a wynndale exit take exit to right. does have a damn good steak and reasonably priced, but thats all they have.
I live at the place. No atmosphere, but that adds to its charm. Old gas station converted.
http://carpejackson.com/2010/07/08/wynndale-steakhouse/
Thanks!
actually the BGE, after being properly cleaned and decontaminated from being in KK ass, is nothing more than a tandoor oven. I have nothing against the oven in general, but the cult of douchebags that think they are the best cooks in history since buying one makes me want to puke.
Man you are one pleasant happy person. Do you like your life? Does your station in life depress you? Have you gotten laid lately?
I have an EGG and would marry it if it had tits.
5:23 that is the funniest post I have read in a while!
"I have an EGG and would marry it if it had tits."
"...the cult of douchebags that think they are the best cooks in history since buying one makes me want to puke."
It ain't bragging if it's the truth!
4:07 PM
You got issues bud.
"all you big green eggers make me sick, you are like a cult, worse than Pinelake."
This post made me laugh, which is a change from what is normally on this blog these days. Not knocking this blog but there is nothing funny about the crap being pulled by Tim Johnson. It makes me sick, sort of like the Big Green Egg and the guy who hates it.
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