Thursday, May 13, 2010

Toxicology Report Obtained, .09 BAC Results Confirmed, No Drugs at Time of Wreck, Charges filed

** MUST CREDIT JACKSON JAMBALAYA**

JJ has obtained a copy of the toxicology report for Karen Irby produced by the Mississippi Crime Lab. It does indeed state the sample provided has a BAC of .09. It also states her system tested negative for all drugs except morphine, which was given to her at the hospital. It must be pointed out she tested negative for cocaine. Many rumors flew around town about supposed cocaine use by Mrs. Irby. The reports show such was not the case and there were no other drugs in her system at the time of the wreck. It should also be pointed out the report is based on samples taken with expired labels on the vials.

Copy of report

WLBT is reporting Karen Irby filed charges against her husband. See link below for documents. Thanks to WLBT for providing a copy of the affidavit and warrant.

Copy of charges

Note: So the judge dismissed as there were no probable cause hearing? Gee, I think all of the people who were arrested based on simple affidavits would love to know about that little procedure.

51 comments:

Anonymous said...

so why plead guilty? a deal that went awry b/c of a loose cannon on deck?

Anonymous said...

I never thought alcohol was a major factor in this tragedy. Yes, she registered drunk; however at one time her BAC levels weren't considered drunk.

Now according to Karen in her claim she filed, her husband was violent. He tried to beat her in the car on the way home the night of the tragedy. He spanked her child to the point of it being reported and he abused Karen with documentation to prove it.

According to the Caring Bridge website, she continued to visit him in the hospital after the accident telling him how she loved him. She continued to live with him and subject her children to that environment and she enjoyed the freedom-entitlement of being able to travel and drive freely after the tragedy occurred.

I don't know about you, but my bags and my children's bags would have been out of that house by the time Stuart got home from the hospital. Karen should have told the truth about this from the beginning. She and her children may have had a different outcome/future together.

So to all the Karen Irby fans, I don't want to hear about your poor friend in jail for 18 years. She killed 2 people and subjected her children to an unstable home with a man who she now calls violent.

I hope that while Karen serves her time, she will find the love for herself that she so desperately needed to find years ago.

Anonymous said...

The damn Caring Bridge postings were completely controlled by Charles Irby so please get the hell down from that high horse.

KaptKangaroo said...

Man I love Mississippi.

For all of us; ANYONE CAN FILE CRIMINAL CHARGES AGAINST ANOTHER. You, whether guilty or not, will be arrested. You, whether guilty or not, must answer before a judge. You, whether guilty or not, will have to appear. You, whether guilty or not, will have to deal with the repercussions of meritorious or false accusations in your public/private life. Until we as a citizenry realize, the lawyer world in MS is a criminal enterprise in this regard, we as a citizenry are but sheep.

Now on to KI and her filing. The stakes in this particular situation are very high. If she is doing this with an attorney, I doubt it, this attorney is treading a fine line of a little old law in MS called Champerty if the charges are found to be false, but then we have a he said/she said situation so doubt the Bar would actually even glance at this one. The issue here is the criminal element vs. civil. Statute of limitations will come into play. If an attorney clearly, given she was denied the first time, filed AGAIN, that attorney is treading the Champerty charge.

Good for Karen. If it is true what she claims in her filing, she should be entitled to expose the truth. Even in the courts denial, she is trying Stuart in the public eye, and, if it is not true Stuart should come forward.

No one, not anyone, but Stuart and Karen, unless there is a little bird (wink-wink KF), knows what happened in that car.

We should all sit back and watch the train wreck. Funny, but I'm beginning to think KI is the cunning one. She appears remorseful as more and more comes to light. Hell, she is the one doing time.

And I might add, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

Anonymous said...

I don't care who controlled the CaringBridge posts, the point is, it was public knowledge and I don't think Charles made any of that up....

she says now that he tried to beat her in the car that night and she ended 2 people's lives because of it and she still went back to him!

She had her chance to get out of the marriage a year ago and with good reason.....she stayed and look where she is today. Poor Karen is RIGHT. She waited 4 days before her sentence to break her silence. What is that all about?

Anonymous said...

Kaptain Kangaroo....what happened to Mr. Green Jeans?

KaptKangaroo said...

Where is the Motion to Quash? That will read like a Grisham Novel.

KaptKangaroo said...

Don't know what happened to MGJ, but, I've been thinking lately....

Click on name for further details...

;-)

Anonymous said...

Per the Stuart's attorneys press release dated 05/11/10:

"From the beginning, Stuart Irby has not wavered. He has defended and supported Karen both
publicly and privately and actively recruited letters seeking leniency. He made sure that Karen
received any financial, legal, medical and rehabilitative resources she and her team needed."

Why the HELL would his counsel file a motion to quash re: Karen's depo? This was an opportunity for his wife to DEFEND herself against the charges and civil suit. In my opinion, a failed attempt to keep her silent. Wow! Such a creative way to "publicly and privately" defend your wife. This press release from Stuart's attorney is dated 05/11/10 and the MTQ was filed on 05/04/10.

Anonymous said...

"her team"....really?

Anonymous said...

Bullshit. Charles controlled every aspect of what information was available on Caring Bridge and 99% of the information was meant to generate compassion for Stuart. Even the BS examples that suffering, impaired and disfigured subservient wife Karen was there at comatose Stuart's bedside praying for a miracle and his recovery.

If you don't understand that Irby blood is thicker than water or marriage then you are naive (and stupid and ignorant), not the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

I call BULLSHIT! DA can't just arrest someone on an affidavit filed by a complainant? OH! I have a Civil Rights case. Different stroke for different folks. Chuck, are you there?

Anonymous said...

Here is what I know. Joe Holloman represented many in the WorldCom debacle. Many of his clients were convicted in some way, some who were merely underlings did time and ONE bigger fish did not even though she was THIS|TIGHT with an unindicted unnamed co-conspirator.

Seek the truth.

It isn't only who you know. It is who you know, or hire, who they know and how fast they get to who they know before the other hired guns do the same.

Anonymous said...

Stuart, do not divorce your wife. Forgive her, love her, and stand with her. She needs you now more than ever.

Anonymous said...

I agree!! All agree say "I "

Anonymous said...

wow you just obtained the BAC report. that came out last summer. WAPT had it.

Anonymous said...

WAPT? That shoestring operation? The same shop which reports stories based on obscure unsubstantiated unconfirmed unsupported unsourced and subsequently debunked JFP tweets?

Please, get real.

Anonymous said...

I thought the Sheriff was a good man until KF came along. We need Tyrone Lewis to run again. Mac has turned out to be a joke.

Anonymous said...

When the Irby machine took over to protect Stuart, it was all over, and we all should have known it. Karen might as well have been fighting the Taliban alone. She never had a chance.

Anonymous said...

7:07, I agree. If Stuart had ever beaten my daughter like he evidently did Karen's little girl, no power in this world would keep me with him. I can't understand a mother who doesn't take immediate action in such a situation, especially a woman of Karen's means.

If Karen is anybody's victim, she's her own victim first and foremost. She stayed in that marriage way, way past the expiration date.

Anonymous said...

When this case is aired on one of the national outlets, I wonder if they will mention the pathetic and arcane Clarion Ledger article written by Pettus last year. Talk about biased and inaccurate. WHY?

I wonder if Stu hired Haley's lobbying firm for Crisis Management - something they specializes in.

Anonymous said...

Is Stuart still driving...could be another accident waiting to happen!

Anonymous said...

To the extent Karen had a potential defense of "my husband made me do it" that did not get pursued because said husband was paying Karen's attorney - we're talking potential conflict of interest problem.

Anonymous said...

Where was the child's actual father during all of this? He should have know of the beating and should have been present at the meeting. You would think he would have been helping Karen protect this child or at least gone after Stuart for hurting his child!

Anonymous said...

Uniform Commercial Code
Contact the UCC Unit
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Filing Chain for a Debtor


Filing Type: UCC

File Number Filing Date Documents Lapse Date Pages
20090081044K 04/30/2009 Initial 04/30/2014 1
Record Type Name and Address
Secured Party BankPlus
1068 Highland Colony Pkwy, 400 Concourse, Suite 100, Ridgeland, MS 39157
Debtor Irby, Stuart M. Sr.
3940 Stuart Place, Jackson, MS 39211

Notice: Information presented on this Web site is collected, maintained, and provided for the convenience of the reader. While every effort is made to keep such information accurate and up-to-date, the Secretary of State does not certify the authenticity of information herein that originates from third parties. The Secretary of State shall under no circumstances be liable for any actions taken or omissions made from reliance on any information contained herein from whatever source or any other consequences from any such reliance.




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Anonymous said...

Uniform Commercial Code
Contact the UCC Unit
Fee Schedule
Forms and Instructions
Mississippi County Codes
Online Services
UCC Information Search
UCC Online Filing
FSA Online






Filing Chain for a Debtor


Filing Type: UCC

File Number Filing Date Documents Lapse Date Pages
20080149630E 07/16/2008 Initial 07/16/2013 5
Record Type Name and Address
Secured Party Merrill Lynch Bank USA
1600 Merrill Lynch Drive, Pennington, NJ 08534
Debtor Irby, Stuart M Sr.
3940 Stuart Pl, Jackson, MS 39211

Notice: Information presented on this Web site is collected, maintained, and provided for the convenience of the reader. While every effort is made to keep such information accurate and up-to-date, the Secretary of State does not certify the authenticity of information herein that originates from third parties. The Secretary of State shall under no circumstances be liable for any actions taken or omissions made from reliance on any information contained herein from whatever source or any other consequences from any such reliance.




Home | Accessibility Policy | Contact Us | E-mail Us | Links | Search


Copyright © 2010 Mississippi Secretary of State. All rights reserved.
Due to the use of DHTML and Java, this Web site is optimized for Microsoft Internet Explorer 5+ or Netscape 6+.

Anonymous said...

Uniform Commercial Code
Contact the UCC Unit
Fee Schedule
Forms and Instructions
Mississippi County Codes
Online Services
UCC Information Search
UCC Online Filing
FSA Online






Filing Chain for a Debtor


Filing Type: UCC

File Number Filing Date Documents Lapse Date Pages
20080160303E 07/29/2008 Initial 07/29/2013 5
Record Type Name and Address
Secured Party Merrill Lynch Bank USA
1600 Merrill Lynch Drive, Pennington, NJ 08534
Debtor Irby, Stuart M Sr.
3940 Stuart Pl, Jackson, MS 39211

Notice: Information presented on this Web site is collected, maintained, and provided for the convenience of the reader. While every effort is made to keep such information accurate and up-to-date, the Secretary of State does not certify the authenticity of information herein that originates from third parties. The Secretary of State shall under no circumstances be liable for any actions taken or omissions made from reliance on any information contained herein from whatever source or any other consequences from any such reliance.




Home | Accessibility Policy | Contact Us | E-mail Us | Links | Search


Copyright © 2010 Mississippi Secretary of State. All rights reserved.
Due to the use of DHTML and Java, this Web site is optimized for Microsoft Internet Explorer 5+ or Netscape 6+.

Anonymous said...

Uniform Commercial Code
Contact the UCC Unit
Fee Schedule
Forms and Instructions
Mississippi County Codes
Online Services
UCC Information Search
UCC Online Filing
FSA Online






Filing Chain for a Debtor


Filing Type: UCC

File Number Filing Date Documents Lapse Date Pages
20090106981H 06/09/2009 Initial 06/09/2014 1
Record Type Name and Address
Secured Party BankPlus
1068 HIGHLAND COLONY PKWY, RIDGELAND, MS 39157
Debtor STUART M IRBY SR
3940 STUART PLACE, JACKSON, MS 39211
20090108829M 06/11/2009 Amendment Parties 06/09/2014 1
Debtor IRBY, STUART M SR
3940 STUART PLACE, JACKSON, MS 39211

Notice: Information presented on this Web site is collected, maintained, and provided for the convenience of the reader. While every effort is made to keep such information accurate and up-to-date, the Secretary of State does not certify the authenticity of information herein that originates from third parties. The Secretary of State shall under no circumstances be liable for any actions taken or omissions made from reliance on any information contained herein from whatever source or any other consequences from any such reliance.




Home | Accessibility Policy | Contact Us | E-mail Us | Links | Search


Copyright © 2010 Mississippi Secretary of State. All rights reserved.
Due to the use of DHTML and Java, this Web site is optimized for Microsoft Internet Explorer 5+ or Netscape 6+.

Anonymous said...

Uniform Commercial Code
Contact the UCC Unit
Fee Schedule
Forms and Instructions
Mississippi County Codes
Online Services
UCC Information Search
UCC Online Filing
FSA Online






Filing Chain for a Debtor


Filing Type: UCC

File Number Filing Date Documents Lapse Date Pages
20080238589G 11/07/2008 Initial 11/07/2013 1
Record Type Name and Address
Secured Party REGIONS BANK
P.O. BOX 1984, BIRMINGHAM, AL 35201
Debtor IRBY, STUART M SR
3940 STUART PLACE, JACKSON, MS 39211
20090253917K 12/08/2009 Termination Secured Party 11/07/2013 1

Notice: Information presented on this Web site is collected, maintained, and provided for the convenience of the reader. While every effort is made to keep such information accurate and up-to-date, the Secretary of State does not certify the authenticity of information herein that originates from third parties. The Secretary of State shall under no circumstances be liable for any actions taken or omissions made from reliance on any information contained herein from whatever source or any other consequences from any such reliance.




Home | Accessibility Policy | Contact Us | E-mail Us | Links | Search


Copyright © 2010 Mississippi Secretary of State. All rights reserved.
Due to the use of DHTML and Java, this Web site is optimized for Microsoft Internet Explorer 5+ or Netscape 6+.

Anonymous said...

Uniform Commercial Code
Contact the UCC Unit
Fee Schedule
Forms and Instructions
Mississippi County Codes
Online Services
UCC Information Search
UCC Online Filing
FSA Online






Filing Chain for a Debtor


Filing Type: UCC

File Number Filing Date Documents Lapse Date Pages
20090229477C 11/11/2009 Initial 11/11/2014 1
Record Type Name and Address
Secured Party Irby Investments, LLC
P.O. Box 158749, Nashville, TN 37215-8749
Debtor Irby, Stuart M
2906 North State Street, Suite 200-B, Jackson, MS 39216

Notice: Information presented on this Web site is collected, maintained, and provided for the convenience of the reader. While every effort is made to keep such information accurate and up-to-date, the Secretary of State does not certify the authenticity of information herein that originates from third parties. The Secretary of State shall under no circumstances be liable for any actions taken or omissions made from reliance on any information contained herein from whatever source or any other consequences from any such reliance.




Home | Accessibility Policy | Contact Us | E-mail Us | Links | Search


Copyright © 2010 Mississippi Secretary of State. All rights reserved.
Due to the use of DHTML and Java, this Web site is optimized for Microsoft Internet Explorer 5+ or Netscape 6+.

Anonymous said...

Jan 20, 2010
Hinds County District Attorney Robert Shuler Smith announced today that a Hinds County man scheduled for trial this week before Circuit Judge Malcolm O. Harrison has plead guilty to two counts of armed robbery rather than face a jury trial.<----------LOL Big Typo there haha

MARCUS RATLIFF [ 3957 Del-Rosa, Jackson, MS; DOB 11-4-1983 ] plead guilty to one count of armed robbery of the BP gas station on Hanging Moss Road, and to an additional count of armed robbery of a customer of that business that occurred on August 27, 2008. Ratliff was sentenced to 25 years imprisonment, with 15 years suspended, and 10 years to serve, with 5 years probation after release. The sentences will run concurrent, but Ratliff will have to serve the entire ten years as a result of using a firearm in the robberies.

District Attorney Smith stated that had the case proceeded to trial, evidence would have shown that Ratliff rode to the gas station as a passenger on a motorcycle and entered the store with a handgun. He took a cash register drawer from an employee and took $1,250.00 in cash from a customer inside the store at the time of the robbery. The robbery was captured on video by the surveillance system and later broadcast on Crimestoppers. Ratliff was identified by a tipster and the victims later picked him out of a photo lineup. Ratliff confessed when arrested.

Anonymous said...

Please explain the significance of the above LENGTHY post...the third to last...

Anonymous said...

http://www.mdoc.state.ms.us/InmateDetails.asp?PassedId=146831

Total Length: 15 YEARS
Hmm says 20 years and on the MDOC says 15 .
02-26-2009 Re: State of Mississippi v. Courtney Savoie

On February 26, 2009, the Hinds County District Attorney Robert Schuler Smith and the Jackson Police were successful in convicting Defendant Courtney Savoie for the charge of Aggravated DUI.

On January 6, 2008, defendant Courtney Savoie, was traveling , South in the North bound lane near US 51, without headlights, when her 2000 Mercury Cougar collided head on with the victim, Lyndon Bowlin’s 2008 Ford Escape. The collision resulted in the death of the victim. At the time of the collision the defendant had a blood alcohol content of .25 (3 times the legal limit).

The defendant plead guilty to the charge of Aggravated DUI in front of the Honorable Judge Winston Kidd on January 21, 2009. Today, the defendant was sentenced to a term of (20) twenty years in the custody of the Mississippi Department of Corrections.

District Attorney, RSS, states that today’s conviction of the defendant is an example of his fulfilling his campaign promise to stand up for victims’ rights in Hinds County

Anonymous said...

Whhhhaaattt? BAC of .09.? With Matt Steffy saying in the Clarion Liar today she was, "very drunk"? SHAME ON YOU MISS MATT! BAC of .09.is VERY winnable in court.

Ineffective assistance of counsel!Incompetence assistance of counsel. OH...what is that foul odor in the air? A sickening, rather acrid and musty stench.. I know...it's RAT. A rat that I think many more smell.

Anonymous said...

12:59 PM--its someone's attempt to drive the public perception of this case away from the known (and admitted in court) facts and keep the comments in the “gossip” arena. Their message is that money is evil so whoever has any money is also evil. And blah blah blah, anything except the basic parts of the case. You know, I don’t ever remember a case where someone’s wallet was prosecuted for drunk driving and killing 2 people.

The case is about a car accident that took 2 lives. The gossip is all the other stuff (I keep waiting for someone to say, well my hairdresser knows a doggroomer whose 2nd cousin says they saw…..) . The driver was under the influence and has pled guilty. The only reason all the other stuff is being thrown around is because there is a case out there that could potentially be a HUGE payday for some involved.

Who knows what kind of person Karen is or what kind of person Stuart is. That really doesn't play into any of this. That plays into the million dollar payday case and the gossip mill.

Either or both Irbys could have been a total SOB--but its not relevant to the case. Who was driving the vehicle? Was that person legally impaired? Did that vehicle cause the death of others? This case, and any other case where human life is lost, is and always will be sad. All the gossip and those who climb on their person bandwagons (—the I-hate-people-with-money group…..the she-may-have-killed-them-but-my-hairdresser-said-she-was-battered-so-she-should-be-free group….the she’s-my-friend-and-she’s-a-saint-group….the he’s-my friend-and-he’s-a-saint group….) are just not necessary to any of the actual facts in the case.

It would be interesting to have a discussion, based on the legal issues, on the case and the pending lawsuits—without all the gossip, the personal bandwagons, and the personal agendas. If this was Mary and John Jones, we could do it.

Anonymous said...

http://www.mdoc.state.ms.us/PDF%20Files/Commisary%20Price%20List/Commissary%20Price%20List%203-31-2010.pdf

Anonymous said...

Too funny, you can buy a tv, a flat iron, laxatives, almost anything. I thought they gave you minimum and you had to deal with it.

I guess the only thing you can't buy in prison is your freedom.

Anonymous said...

Really getting confused here...

Anonymous said...

Stuart Irby & Matt Steffey sitting in the tree kissing, 1st comes love then comes marriage, then there's a baby in the baby carriage hehe

Anonymous said...

http://www.mdoc.state.ms.us/InmateDetails.asp?PassedId=154164 read this one.

Anonymous said...

@ 5:11

Murder Cases Largely Domestic in Nature

by Kandiss Crone
kandiss@wlbt.net

Alicia Hanner, 23, had very few words after her initial court appearance Friday. Hanner is charged with murdering Brandon Johnson, 24, early Wednesday morning. The couple had a 7-month-old child and lived together at the North Hill Square Apartments.

Johnson is the city's latest murder, and the second domestic-related death in less than two weeks.

"We've got 22 murders this year, and the majority of them are as a result of domestic violence," said Jackson Police Chief Malcolm McMillin.

Last Monday, police say Torrian Holmes stabbed Tracey Collier then ran her over with a car, killing the 33-year-old. Collier was the mother of four of Holmes' children, as well as two others.

In both cases, the women in the relationships reported abuse by their boyfriends.

"Oftentimes a woman doesn't know where to go, where she's going to live or how she's going to make it, so she'll stay in a place where she's in danger because the fear of the unknown is worse than the fear of the known," McMillin said.

McMillin says cases like Hanner's where the woman is the aggressor are rare and typically more dangerous.

"Generally that winds up with murder because the woman may have been taking a lot of abuse for a long time and then they've gone as far as they can go," McMillin said.

McMillin says his officers go through special training to respond to domestic violence calls, but sometimes the calls can be just as violent for the victim as for the officer.

"If you try to take action against one of them sometimes you wind up fighting both of them," he said.

Hanner is being held at the Hinds County Detention Center without bond.

Anonymous said...

People from Hinds County convicted of Manslaughter.

I'm sending You these People White and Black.

Racial Profiling yep because its true

http://www.mdoc.state.ms.us/InmateDetails.asp?PassedId=121552

Anonymous said...

4:26 You leave Miss Matt alone or I will come pull your hair and thlap you thilly!

Anonymous said...

@5:25PM if You think Your big and bad enough come do it! And You have a Typo Problem too.

Anonymous said...

http://www.jdnews.com/news/woman-78283-charged-perjury.html

Anonymous said...

Please read this sad story! I am shocked.
http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/05/mary_jane_lopez_happy_that_2-y.php

Anonymous said...

http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/05/carla_westbrook-spaniel_moron.php

Anonymous said...

5:40 PM, that would be ,you're big and bad enough, not your, half wit.

Anonymous said...

@ 6:03

That is more evidence that psychopaths live among us. Only some know how to exist in society, until they are uncovered, a thanks largely due to the efforts of the media, and not as much the mainstream media.

Karen Irby would have much more credibility in this new story had she told the judge this at the time of the plea. Perhaps she had bad legal advice, who knows. But her credibility lacks because of such silence.

Anonymous said...

All you defenders really do sound foolish from the standpoint that the woman "fessed-up" and stood the higher moral ground. Your insistence of a new trial, Stuart's guilt, mitigated responsibility, incompetent/influenced council only serves to weaken her integrity. You should be ashamed. I would hope if you were a true friend of this woman, you would show her the dignity she deserves.

Thats all I got to say about that.

Anonymous said...

why does this article have the header ... must credit jackson jambalaya? If WLBT steals the story, as they did so many times, they don't credit you. Why should anyone else?

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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