Monday, June 22, 2009

Local Darwin Award Nominee

"Emergency responders from Jackson and Flowood this morning resumed the overnight search for a 24-year-old Clinton man believed drowned in the Pearl River. Johnnie Carroll Evans of 1501 U.S. 80 East was last seen swimming with friends Sunday afternoon in the Pearl River near a Jackson water treatment plant, said Jackson Police Department spokesman Lt. Jeffery Scott.
Today’s search is aimed at recovering Evans’ body, rather than a rescue, Scott said. “We’re still out there looking for him. It’s a search and recover mode at this point,” Scott said at mid-morning Monday...
Scott said rescuers are not ruling out the possibility that alligators spotted in the area could have attacked Evans.
“We won’t know for certain until we find him,” Scott said. “There were some fishermen who said they’d been fishing in that same spot for about three days and they had spotted alligators.”
Scott said the rough waters of the Pearl also might be a factor in Evans’ disappearance..."
story

Leave it to the reporter to screw up an easy story. If she'd bothered to look a few yards from that spot, she would have noticed a.........drum roll.......... low head dam. Think that might have something to do with the current and the swimmer going under? In that spot I'll put money on his being killed by the dam's current before I would by alligators. One guy years ago decided he'd walk across the dam. Didn't make it and neither did this idiot.

Posted by Kingfish at 11:03 AM

13 comments:

stilettoGOP said...

Isn't this the 4th or 5th local drowning story lately? What's going on? Respect the water or stay on the slip n slide.

June 22, 2009 at 12:59 PM
Autogyro said...

Good post, Kingfish. Most people have no idea how dangerous a low head dam is - and that it's nearly impossible to escape from the dam's current once it's got you. I wonder if there were warning signs posted or buoys?

June 22, 2009 at 2:46 PM
Kingfish said...

Go up to the upper lake. THAT low head damn is alot worse than this one.

June 22, 2009 at 2:50 PM
Autogyro said...

Well, I see the body has been recovered, but WLBT is still pursuing the alligator angle even as they run video footage with the low head dam in the background. Good grief.

June 22, 2009 at 3:05 PM
Anonymous said...

When I was younger (like 12) my friend and I walked across the low head dam there by Mays Lake. There were a couple of guys fishing on it too. But, when we went to walk back, my friend went but, I got the impression that the current was faster (probably wasn't) so I wandered around until I could find someone to drive me back to Riverside.

Not sure if this is the same low head dam or the upper one; but both can be dangerous.

June 22, 2009 at 4:15 PM
Hookah said...

I remember chuckling a few years ago when the treatment plant backed up and emptied raw sewage into the river. People just kept on swimming. Some even had those gigantic inflatable killer whales to help them stay afloat.

June 22, 2009 at 4:32 PM
Anonymous said...

What the hell are you talking about KF? The Pearl is a recreational wonderland.

June 22, 2009 at 7:10 PM
markt said...

I fish down there on the Rankin side just below the lowhead. Gators didn't get this guy..the current did. When that water gets as low as it is now you see people(idiots) walk across that dam everyday. Crazy man...crazy. I about have to turn my head when they do it

June 22, 2009 at 8:24 PM
Anonymous said...

I heard that a Woman also drowned over the week-end in Downtown Brandon, but have Yet to see anything on this ??

June 22, 2009 at 9:11 PM
Anonymous said...

Amy Goodwin drowned in her pool this weekend. She is someone I knew years ago. Remember her as a very nice girl. 43 years old, so sad.

June 22, 2009 at 10:20 PM
Anonymous said...

The Pearl is full of many life threatening hazards both below and above the surface. Of course you'd never read about any of them in JFP.

Reminds me of their encouraging reckless joyriding on Riverside.

June 23, 2009 at 7:48 AM
Kingfish said...

Good shot on WLBT last night of the low head damn. I might go snap a picture of it and post it this week if I get a chance to go out there.

June 23, 2009 at 9:23 AM
Anonymous said...

Dam, Kingfish, not damn, unless you're cussing!

June 24, 2009 at 9:10 AM

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.