Saturday, November 22, 2008

Zoo Blues

WLBT Story by Monica Hernandez

More evidence Jackson can't do anything right. One would think the Jackson Zoo would have learned its lesson in 2005 after some wild dogs killed most of the flamingos inside the Zoo but this being Jackson, learning from experience is something of an alien concept. How did some dogs get inside the zoo and kill some gazelles? Chris Mims, a Marketing Director at the Zoo, said "It's possible the dogs entered the zoo through the main gate during business hours and weren't seen". Clarion-Ledger Story

If that is the case, why hasn't anyone been fired? If the dogs got in through the front gate, then fire the person responsible? Has Frank Melton's habit of not taking responsibility for anything spread to the rest of Jackson's government? For a city that needs to improve its quality of life, this latest incident was just another example of what a joke city government has become.

Unfortunately, the amenities for the Jackson metro area have been lacking for some time even as a downtown building boom is taking place. There are few things outside of organized sports for families to do in Jackson. The reservoir, thanks to Bumbling Burwell, looks like a giant mudhole with NOTHING that adds to its recreational value (at least there was something when the Dock was around). There are no longer water parks, miniature golf, go-carts, or other activities for families to enjoy.

The Zoo is one of the few cultural icons in Jackson that draws visitors from around the state. The area around it looks like a wasteland and is not exactly the most desirable part of town to visit. Perhaps it is a bit much to expect Jackson to provide for the zoo all by itself. The Zoo is something that provides cultural value to the metro area, not just Jackson. Its one of the few attractions in the area for families that live several counties away from Jackson.

It might be time to look at removing the Zoo from Jackson's control and placing it under the direction of either the state or a board similar to the Pearl River Valley District where representatives from Hinds, Rankin, and Madison counties sit on the oversight board. Let the participating counties share in the revenues. The Zoo doesn't have to be at the world-class level of the Audubon Zoo or others but it should be something that does a better job than it currently does in representing Mississippi. Jackson AND the suburbs benefit from cultural offerings such as the Jackson Zoo.

Posted by Kingfish at 1:37 PM

4 comments:

A. Boyd Campbell, II said...

The zoo operates under a private board already and has been for some time. This is how they've managed the many improvements over the years.

The problem of stray dogs getting into the zoo has come up four or five times over the past thirty years.

I don't know that I agree that they came in through the front gate. The zoo is something like seventy acres surrounded by chain link fence. The dogs could have dug under or climbed over it at any number of places.

Perhaps he meant the parking lot gate on Capitol street. They might have gotten in there and hid out in the Mays lake area until after closing. It's unlikely though because that area is usually attended by a guard.

November 22, 2008 at 8:39 PM
Kingfish said...

I know its managed by a private board. However, I'm thinking more of the funding of it. Perhaps its time to treat it as a state or metro area asset instead of just Jackson as we do the rez. Hopefully with better results.

November 22, 2008 at 8:41 PM
A. Boyd Campbell, II said...

There was an attempt to do just that a few years ago for the current development campaign. There was some interest from congress but not enough to really make a big change. I think people from around the state tend to see the zoo as a jackson issue alone.

November 22, 2008 at 8:47 PM
Anonymous said...

The location of the Jackson Zoo will continue to inhibit and impair its success until the Zoo either closes or moves.

November 23, 2008 at 10:27 AM

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.