Sunday, February 28, 2021

Biker Injured in Madison

Correction: The original headline said the biker was killed.  JJ apologizes for the error.  

The Madison Police Department issued the following statement.

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Jackson Water Recovery Update

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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Domestic Abuser on the Lam

A domestic abuser is on the lamb after Jackson Municipal Court Judge Jeff Reynolds ordered his arrest.  Judge Reynolds found Cole Rowland guilty of domestic violence.  Unfortunately for everyone concerned, Rowland violated no-contact orders, violated the conditions of his sentence, and completely blew off the judge. 

 

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Jackson Water Crisis Update

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba and Public Works Director Dr. Charles Williams are holding a press conference right now on the Jackson water crisis.  The presser is streamed below.

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Pearl Get's 'Em

 The Pearl Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Sal & Mookies Has Water

 Jeff Good issued the following statement. 

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You Can Have a Great Second Half

In today's edition of Sunday Sermon, the late Dr. Frank Pollard preached on coming back from setbacks no matter how tough they are.  If you played hookey this morning, enjoy.  

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Bill Crawford: Ignoring Crises for Tax Cuts

 Faced with one crisis after another, Mississippi’s Governor and Legislature rise to the challenge with one consistent solution – cut budgets to cut taxes.

Where to start?

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Jackson Water Recovery Update

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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Saturday, February 27, 2021

Cancel This

Bill Maher stood up to the cancel culture last night.  A pity more aren't saying what he said.  Enjoy. 

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We Report, You Decide: Income Tax Elimination Bill

The Mississippi House of Representatives passed a bill that will eliminate the state income tax while raising a plethora of sales taxes.  The bill will take a while to digest as it is nearly 400 pages long.  However, never fear, Jackson Jambalaya is here.  The JJ staff took a break from funneling and cooking pastalaya to break down this bill.  The analysis as well as the House leadership's talking points are posted below. 

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Friday, February 26, 2021

It's not the Size but the Size of the Fight....

 Some Oklahoma footballers figured being big and bad was enough to take care of these shrimps.....

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Jackson Water Recovery Update

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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Child Rapist Gets Life Twice

 Rankin-Madison District Attorney John Bramlett issued the following statement.

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Water Crisis Continues

The water crisis continues in Jackson.  Jeff Good and Dan Blumenthal issued this statement today: 

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(Alleged) Drunk Driver Kills 3 in Rankin

 The Mississippi Highway Patrol issued the following statement. 

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Eggheads Announce Easter Egg Coloring Contest

 Ag Commish Andrew Gipson issued the following statement. 

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No More Pigs & Peacocks on Planes

Flyers will no longer be terrorized by so-called emotional support animals.  The Department of Transportation issued a new rule that  allows airlines to limit such animals to service dogs.  The airlines promptly took advantage of the new rules and implemented new restrictions.  The Department stated in a December press release: 

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More Clarion-Ledger Purging

 Well, well, well, The Purge continues.  The Clarion-Ledger kicked the conservative comic strip Mallard Fillmore to the curb:

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Thursday, February 25, 2021

Jackson Water Recovery Update

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement.

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Health Department Office Closed Again Tomorrow

 The Mississippi State Department of Health issued the following statement. 

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Sullivan: Egbert "Murdered Deputy Brad Sullivan"

Prosecutor: "This was a calculated execution of an entire shift"

Video of entire hearing posted below. 

A would-be cop killer will spend the rest of his life behind bars. Madison County Circuit Judge John Emfinger sentenced Edgar Egbert to serve six consecutive 35-year terms in prison today after Egbert pleaded guilty to six counts of attempted first degree murder. Egbert wounded two deputies and shot at four others with a full-automatic rifle in 2019.  Deputy Brad Sullivan is still partially paralyzed and blind in one eye . 

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State Auditor Issues 2nd-Largest Demand Letter Ev-ah

 State Auditor Shad White issued the following statement. 

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Ruined?

 The Landmark building in downtown Jackson flooded last week.   Well, to say it flooded is an understatement.  Watch the video posted below.

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Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Jackson Water Recovery Update

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement.

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Fentanyl Dealer Busted, Victim Dies

 The Madison Police Department issued the following statement. 

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Food Fight!!! (Stokes Edition)

It was a press conference for the ages as Kenneth Stokes called the Jackson Mayor "Lying Lumumba".  However, the Ward 3 Councilman was just getting warmed up as he said the Mayor was incompetent and had "a relationship with dope boys."  Make no mistake, this was Kenneth Stokes completely unvarnished and unleashed.  

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Moss Point Mayor Pleads Guilty, Resigns

 The Justice Department issued the following statement. 

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Marks Singer Makes His Mark on American Idol

 Mississippi won the daily double on American Idol Sunday night.  Calvin Upshaw of Marks and Canton's Hannah Everhart earned Gold Tickets to the next round on the popular show.  The 26 year-old Upshaw may have once been incarcerated but he didn't let that mistake hold him back as he wowed Lionel Richie, Katy Perry, and Luke Bryan. 

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Sid Salter: Infrastructure Woes; After Ice Storms Comes Potholes, Road & Bridge Deteriorations

 No matter where you drive in most of Mississippi in the next few weeks, you will encounter new and challenging potholes thanks to the Great Ice Strom of 2021.

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Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Tate Rescues Jackson

 Governor Tate Reeves issued the following statement. 

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Jackson Water Recovery Update

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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FOOD FIGHT!!!

 Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba had enough of Ward 3 City Councilman Kenneth Stokes and punched him in the nose at a press conference this afternoon.  This is probably the first time a Mayor stood up to the Ward 3 legend although all probably wanted to do so.  Watch for yourself in the video posted below.  Start at 3:30.

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Death Spiral Continues at the Clarion-Ledger

 Clarion-Ledger  "Top Editor" Mary Irby-Jones will be moving on to bigger and better things.  The "state newspaper" reported: 

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C19 Update: Hospitalizations & ICUs Plummet

Mississippi is enjoying a bit of good news on the Covid-19 front.  The number of Wuhan Virus patients requiring hospitalization or an ICU bed fell to its lowest level since October 16.   However, there are only 2 available ICU beds in the Jackson metro area. 

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Deputy Beats Man With Shovel

Hinds County Deputy Brady Hightower Butler attempted to shovel his way out of a problem with a suspect last week. 

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Monday, February 22, 2021

Flashback: The Debut

Sometimes you think you are ready for the biggest moment of your life only to find....

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Vaccines Cause Drop in C19 Cases in U.K.

 The Wall Street Journal reports the Covid-19 vaccines are bringing Great Britain some relief:

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$500 Reward

 A Northview Drive business is offering a $500 reward for info leading to the recovery of a stolen trailer.  Video of the theft is posted below.

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Senate Passes Economic Development Bill

 Lieutenant Governor Delbert Hosemann issued the following statement last week. 

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Moss Point Mayor to Plead Guilty to Fraud

 Moss Point Mayor Mario King and his wife will plead guilty to fraud charges Wednesday in U.S. District Court. The couple established a bogus charity that was used to buy vehicles and pay off credit cards.  The Justice Department stated in a press release last year: 

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Canton Teen Appears on American Idol

Canton's Hannah Everhart made it to the stage of American Idol last night.  The precocious 17 year-old performed Johnny Cash's The Wayfaring Stranger in front of Lionel Richie, Katy Perry, and Luke Bryan.  Much hay was made about her strong resemblance to Katy Perry. Indeed, Ms. Perry asked her young Everhart "are you the country clone of me."  The nervous teen replied "something like that."  Watch the fun below. 

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Sunday, February 21, 2021

Coach Prime Gets Good News & Bad News

JSU Head Football Coach Deion "Prime Time" Sanders led the Tigers to victory on the gridiron today but his debut was spoiled by yet another incident of crime.  

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Jackson Storm Recovery Update

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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Sharing the Wealth Even When Broke

It appears Marshand Crisler is back at the public trough for some more gummint grub.  The Jackson City Council approved on February 17 a $50,000 contract with his company to help reorganize the billing of the water-sewer department. 

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Do You Know Who You Are?

 The late Dr. Frank Pollard begged the question in this 1992 sermon at First Baptist Church (Jackson).  Enjoy this week's edition of Sunday Morning Sermon.

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Bill Crawford: Republican Bills Weaken Governor

My political godfather, the late Gil Carmichael, fought hard for a new state constitution. A key purpose was to strengthen the office of Governor. He called Mississippi’s chief executive “one of the weakest in the nation.” As one of the pioneers of the modern Republican Party in Mississippi, he would be aghast that the Republican controlled Legislature is actively considering two bills that would do the opposite.

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Saturday, February 20, 2021

Jackson Provides Recovery Update

 The city of Jackson issued the following statement. 

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Local Vaccination Sites Open Tomorrow

 The Mississippi State Department of Health issued the following statement. 

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Medicare Fines Most Jackson Hospitals for Patient Safety

 Medicare penalized UMMC and several other Mississippi hospitals every year for the last five years for patient safety.   All metro Jackson area hospitals except MBMC were fined in 2021 as well.  Medicare cuts reimbursements to hospitals that have high rates of readmissions or high rates of infections and patient injuries.   

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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