List five things you accomplished last week. US Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick said he secured $5 billion for the US Treasury in one day by selling 1,000 immigration Gold Cards. President Trump came up with the idea and charged Lutnick with developing a plan to sell gold cards.
According to the online Financial Express “each Gold Card costs $5 million and permits foreign nationals permanent residency in the United States.” Lutnick also said, “There are 37 million people in the world who are capable of buying the card…. The president thinks we can sell a million.” I presume those who purchase the cards must still provide information that qualifies them for “permanent residency in the United States.” The program has not been finalized yet, and Fox News reported, “Trump vows to refund or deport any ‘unsavory’ immigrants who try for citizenship under a potential ‘gold card.’” Evidently President Trump’s immigration plan not only keeps immigrants from illegally coming into America but also gives incentives for rich foreign nationals to become permanent residents and build businesses here. In with the new! Out with the old! One of at least five other things Trump did last week was to revoke security clearances. Beginning with Joe Biden, Trump revoked security clearances for Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Tony Blinken, Jake Sullivan, Liz Cheney, Alexander Vindman and (no kidding) “any other member of Joseph R. Biden Jr.’s family.” Meanwhile on the other side of the political spectrum congress-people have degenerated from common rules of decorum into outlandish curses and expletives toward those they hate, exhorting their few remaining followers to physical violence particularly toward Tesla cars and their owners. That’s the only “winning” political strategy they’ve agreed with so far. Of course Democrats and woke folks continue to sue President Trump because their lawsuits were so effective during the 2024 election. Trump signed another executive order titled, “Preventing Abuses of the Legal System and the Federal Court.” That EO falls under the auspices of Attorney General Pam Bondi who is well qualified to investigate rogue court officials who imagine they can censor the President and his administration. Follow the money. Among other instructions, the EO asks AG Bondi to review conduct by lawyers and firms who file frivolous, unreasonable, and vexatious lawsuits against the US. “Accountability is especially important when misconduct by lawyers and law firms threatens our national security, homeland security, public safety, or election integrity,” Trump wrote. That touches all four bases! Lest you think President Trump is making all the news, last week Florida Governor Ron DeSantis returned $878 million to the federal government. “At the direction of Governor DeSantis and following his meeting with Elon Musk today, the State of Florida is formally returning $878,112,000.00 in taxpayer dollars to the federal government as part of DOGE’s efforts. The specifics are below. We will also continue to identify other unused or surplus federal funding granted to Florida and determine if further refunds can be made. We hope our actions serve as a model for other states to follow.” You may remember Elon Musk’s asking federal agency heads to send an email to employees requesting a list of five things they had accomplished “last week.” Well, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. What did we accomplish last week? Daniel L. Gardner is a columnist who lives in Starkville, MS. You may contact him at PJandMe2@gmail.com.Sunday, March 30, 2025
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
33 comments:
Nothing that is mentioned here are "accomplishments." They are abuses of power from a wannabe tyrant. Trump has been abusing the legal system his entire life so the executive order is meaningless.
It's all part of the Musk/Trump immigration reform program. No borders for the very rich, very white, very Trump, "immigrants" and a closed door to all those tired, poor, huddled masses yearning....Well you know the rest. Make America Great Again! or at least as Great as their Money can buy.
Neither congress nor our own legislature is functional enough to pass a budget on time.
Great idea. Imagine how much he can raise by selling a gold pardon card. No, not pardoning everybody with money. Just those loyal MAGA types with money. I love it!
So, the rich immigrants are allowed to buy their way into our country? Huh, that is interesting.
How does that compare to the 101 million Mississippi is going to return ?
Trump’s list of 5 things could be the same every week- played golf 4 times and ran another train on the constitution. He made every hate America again, all it took was a few DUI hires as incompetent and lazy as himself.
Gee, what an easy way for mob bosses to get into the U.S. Does everyone believe being a millionaire like , oh, John Gotti or Bernie Madoff makes one a good citizen?
So will Mississippi return state sales and property tax dollars to the Feds as well? Will all Democrats lose security clearances? I'm sure D.L. doesn't know that on several committees in a state, you need DOD and DOE classified information to make good laws. You also need security clearance to serve in the military quite often and not just at the officer level. The notion that one goes after an entire family, including children not yet born is more than little excessive in a country that values free speech and the rule of law. Now my concern about having to declare " party to vote" as dangerous is confirmed. As someone who votes for candidates from both parties as it's the competence and integrity of the person that matters to me, the whole notion of voting at all is now frightening. I'd rather not vote than remove the opportunity for those who share my last name to have no chance to advance in the military or run for office. I come from many decorated soldiers who served our nation since our Revolution. Indeed, few understand there are soldiers in every branch of government who get assigned to national security positions and that was true for all those whose WWII fathers had a " christmas tree with rounded branches" on their uniforms. I want y'all to think about this. You may like the leaders of your party this five minutes of history. The Romans loved Caesar after all but by the last emperor of his line, they didn't .
Good update. Thanks.
So will Mississippi be sending state tax dollars to the Feds as well?
Fish got the easily triggered up this morning I see. Just don’t take it out on your fellow democrats teslas please.
Thank you Trump. Finally a president that is doing things that help our country. Much better than the empty chair we had for a president. Does anyone know who was making the decisions when Joe was wandering around lost?
Hypocrite congressmen and women are slinking around secretly getting their pet programs off the hook from what is otherwise being touted as rooting out government fraud and waste. Apparently, it is neither fraud nor waste if it is in my district.
@11:00 AM How does settling a personal grudge with law firms and revoking security clearances for no reason help our country?
I'm thinking they could save a lot of taxpayer money by scrapping all those expensive defense department secure communications systems. They can simply rely on Signal chat app. Seems to work great so far!
Do they even pretend to be going after anyone other than oligarchs and crime lords?
Good piece D.L.
You're staying on point with those democrat talking points.
The anti-Trump, anti-Elon people on here are funny. Stop parroting the main stream media talking points and start thinking for yourselves for once.
I think this blogger pays people to make right-wing comments or does it himself anonymously just to drive more traffic to his site.
@3:18 - It’s hilarious to watch all these MAGA idiots realize how bad they screwed up. You got played buddy, now we all have to pay a 25% idiot tax on everything imported, so everything, and all because you actually believed that lying moron. Sure hope you didn’t have any money invested or a plan to retire or a sense of morality, cause that’s all gone sucker.
@10:53 - it sure is funny watching the liberals whine about the death of our economy, the death of our democracy, and the end of America. It’s almost worth us all going bankrupt and losing every single day just to watch the liberals have to get screwed by this idiot like everyone else. Even Elon has to watch as his fortune gets cut in half like a loser.
Much like most politicals DJT, is no different, once his polls go south half this bs will disappear, the senate is about to pass a resolution opposing tariffs on Canada and Mexico.
Musk has to be gone by the end of May, His 130 days are up. The legal and political backlash will reduce the Lame Duck to a muffled karaoke mic!
I’m withholding comment and judgment until after Biden’s book of his presidential history and accomplishments is published.
@8:05 AM You think Trump's presidental history will be looked at positively? Go worship your cult leader. He needs some more of your money.
Do you have any idea what tariffs Canada had on our goods even before Trump became president? Chicken-263%, turkey-179%, butter-175%, milk-155%. Does that sound right to you?
@11:10 AM Nice try. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-canada-dairy-products-tariffs/
Isn't that one of the sites that assured everyone Hunter's lap top was a Russian plant and told us the Russian hoax was true?
@1:41 - I can’t find anything where snopes said it was a Russian plant. Maybe you have a link? Or maybe you just don’t like to believe news that makes your side look dumb so you make up crap? I’m betting on the latter, but if not, show us something.
@11:10 - got a source for those fake numbers? Didn’t think so.
All I need to be satisfied with Trump is for him to own the libs at least once a day. He is doing a top-notch job so far.
Nothing beats waking up and seeing another round of security clearances stripped away and Biden EO’s rolled back.
@4:32 PM keep calling us dumb. You will get intimately acquainted with Bosnian fertilizer methods.
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