Wednesday, June 28, 2023

Robert St. John: Mississippi

Texans are often recognized for the pride that they have in their home state. I get that. Not because I think Texas is that much better than other states in our country, but because I take great pride in my home state of Mississippi. Six years ago, I wrote an introduction to the book, “A Mississippi Palate.” In it I relayed a story of an epiphany I had a dozen or so years ago. It’s always struck me as odd that I had to travel halfway around the world to truly appreciate the entirety of my home state.

The state of Mississippi adopted the motto, “The birthplace of America’s music,” several years ago. It is catchy and clever. The PR department must have been working overtime when they came up with that phrase, I thought. Maybe it will help paint a positive light on our state in the eyes of the 21st Century the world. I get it. 



It wasn’t until I was thousands of miles away from home that my love and appreciation for my home state grew into what it has become today. It happened one night in Italy working on 
An Italian Palate. Our Tuscan friends Annagloria and Enzo had just introduced us to a couple from Milan— Barbara and Alberto— who would eventually become great friends of ours, too. We were all having dinner in a small bed and breakfast in the Italian countryside. This was a special night because the B&B hired a live band. Live music is not as commonplace in the Italian countryside as it is in Mississippi.

You haven’t lived until you’ve heard a British cover band sing American rock and roll in Italian. I was seated across from my new friend Barbara. She was warm, sophisticated, and inquisitive. “Tell us about Mississippi,” she said, shouting over a Lynyrd Skynyrd cover.

“Well I come from a town called Hattiesburg,” I said. “It’s about an hour north of the Gulf of Mexico.” Her eyes lit up. She might not have been able to point out Mississippi on a map— The Weather Channel once referred to us as that “Land mass” between Louisiana and Alabama— but she knew where the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico were located. I began searching for more familiar landmarks to help her pinpoint my home state’s location. 

“My hometown is just an hour and a half northeast of New Orleans,” I continued. 

A brief glint of recognition hit her eyes. “Jazz!” she said.

“That’s right New Orleans is where jazz was invented. And in Mississippi, if you travel up Highway 49 which passes two blocks from my house, you’ll hit Highway 61 in the Delta, where blues music was invented.

“Ah the blues,” she said. “B.B. King.”

“Yep, he’s from Mississippi. And so is Muddy Waters, and if you believe Muddy Waters who said, ‘the blues had a baby and they named the baby rock and roll,’ and I do, then just an hour or two to the east of the Delta is Tupelo, Mississippi the birthplace of Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll.”

“Elvis Presley!” Barbara— a child of the Elvis era— squealed, as if I was talking about some far off, exotic land.

“And just two hours south of Tupelo is Meridian, Mississippi…” I was just about to go into my pitch for Jimmie Rogers, The Singing Brakeman, and “the inventor of country music,” when it hit me like a shot from a cannon— Mississippi, my home state, is truly the birthplace of America’s music, and ground zero for the most influential and popular art form of the 20th Century. It’s not just a PR slogan or marketing phrase, it’s true. Mississippi is the birthplace of the music that has changed the world for over 100 years. This IS an exotic land. 

There is no question that we have scars and bruises from a rough, cruel, and many times inexcusable and unexplainable past, but those are the burdens of the entire country, too. All nations have scars. What defines us as a culture is how we move past those tragedies.  

We are often cursed by the sins of our ancestors. It is unfortunate that almost every civilization in history was founded on the pain and conquest of others. Though what distinguishes civilizations, nations, and states within those nations, are the ones who rise above it. I believe Mississippi has risen above our past. 

I believe I am a son of the new Mississippi.

When compiling the book “A Mississippi Palate,” I asked several friends and notable Mississippians to text me their feelings on our home state. I’ll let their words do the talking.

"In Mississippi, Friday and Saturday nights are filled with football. Sunday mornings are reserved for church. Though, no matter what time of the day, day of the week, or activity on the schedule, life in Mississippi is always centered around family.”  — Archie Manning

There is something about our Southern palette. Maybe it's the fresh produce, the long growing season, the cross cultural influences, or the abundance of seasoning on everything that equips someone from down here to travel with a sense of curiosity. To be curious not only about people or place but the food of other cultures. We will eat anything and can, more often than not figure out what they are doing, and incorporate it into what we do." – Bill Dunlap

No other state in the union has contributed more to American culture than Mississippi, specifically in the areas of music, literature, art, history, food, architecture, and sports – you’re welcome! – Malcolm White

“One of the things that I’ve noticed when I cross paths with a Mississippian out in the world, after you shake hands and ask each other, ‘Which town are you from?’ you just start visiting. Most Mississippi people are at home anywhere on the planet. Wherever they are it’s basically the same as being on the front porch of somebody’s cabin at the Neshoba County Fair— everyone’s welcome.” – Marty Stuart

“I grew up on field peas and corn bread, and still consider it a necessity at least once a week.  Of course, Mom’s coconut cake perched on the dessert table is mandatory to complete the meal.” – Gary Grubbs

“Whenever I get questions about Mississippi from those who haven't had the good fortune to visit us, I'm reminded that it's...complicated. Though financially we may be the poorest state, we are undeniably rich in culture, and while tensions remain in politics and race relations the generosity and graciousness that are our shared heritage shines through in our daily interactions with each other.” – Cary Hudson

"People ask me all the time how Mississippi has produced so many of the world's greatest writers. It's because we tell stories. That's what Mississippians have done – and have done well – for as long as there has been a Mississippi. Per capita, Mississippi produces more writers, musicians, chefs, and athletes than any other place on earth. We entertain, it’s what we do." – Rick Cleveland

“In one short drive down US Hwy 49 South out of Jackson, Mississippi, one can get barbecue, homegrown tomatoes, fried pies, catfish, Elvis clocks, and a metal chicken bigger than a Volkswagen.  You can get baptized at least 38 times at different churches before you get past Florence, you can have your fortune told and see a neon yellow statue of a raging bull in a handstand, with "JESUS SAVES" inexplicably written on its flanks.  Talk to me about ‘diversity.’” – Jill Conner Browne

“I carry Mississippi all over the world, and that's the least I can do. It has blessed and charmed and informed all my days. With a fire that can only be fueled by the sum of what is right and what is and has been wrong I go forward with a mission. I hope to see you somewhere on the high road. Cause that would mean we're both on it.” – Mac McAnally

Morgan Freeman once said, "The big question was, 'My Lord, you can live anywhere in the world you want, why did you choose Mississippi?’ My glib answer was, because I CAN live anywhere. But the true answer is that of any place I've ever been, this feels most like home. When I come here, when I hit Mississippi, everything is right."

Amen.

I love my home state.

 

Onward.


Banana Pudding 

1 cup               Sugar

6 Tbl.              Flour

pinch of salt

4                      Egg yolks (reserve whites for meringue)

2 cups              Milk

2 tsp.               Vanilla

6 Tbl.              Butter

4                      Bananas, ripe, peeled and sliced

Vanilla wafers

 

4                      Egg whites

1 /2 cup           Sugar

1 /2 tsp.           Cream of tartar

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

 

Combine sugar, flour, salt, eggs, milk and vanilla in a small non-reactive saucepot. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly until the pudding thickens. Remove from heat and slowly add butter until incorporated. 

 

Butter a two-quart baking dish. Arrange the vanilla wafers around the outside and across the bottom of the baking dish. Spread a layer of custard over the wafers. Place sliced bananas on top of custard and spoon the remaining custard over bananas, spreading evenly. 

 

Using an electric mixer beat the egg whites until they are increase in volume. Add sugar and cream of tartar. Beat to stiff peaks. Spread meringue over pudding and bake 8-10 minutes. Yield: 8-10 servings

 

 


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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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