Jackson Mayor Chokwe Antar Lumumba will hold a briefing at 1 PM on the city's water crisis. The presser is posted below.
Tuesday, December 27, 2022
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
36 comments:
So the feds brought in a recognized water plant expert and put him in charge- yet we will have to listen to the mouth breather who knows nothing about water systems.
Live-streamed? Hell yeah.
Let me guess: The purpose of the press conference is to let the citizens of Jackson know about the reduction in crimes committed over the past few days by perpetrators armed with super soakers and common squirt guns due to the lack of water AND the resounding success of the administrations new "Squirt Gun Plug Buy Back and Amnesty Program".
He will then announce his plan to form a committee.
Oh great, more talking and no action. Does the Mayor get paid by the word or something?
The comment about the mayor getting paid by the word is comment of the day! Dude is all talk no action. He could f'up an iron ball with a rubber hammer.
Word on the skreet Ross Adams pulled a few strings for Chowke with Dave Roberts and it looks like Chowke's proposed VETO of the freezing weather is a GO.
This is all because y’all had to make it public that he was in Miami. He has to make an appearance to show he is involved even though he couldn’t care less what happens to any of us.
I thought per court order Jackson was out of the water business,this should be the contractor's problem.
Why can’t we hear from the guy the feds sent here
Chokwe has screwed up enough. I can imagine what the feds guy thinks of the mayor
I love to listen to the mayor talk. He's an outstanding orator, like Minister Farrakhan.
Kingfish
Can you please post locations where we can pick up bottled water from the city at designated sites. Seems never any in NE Jackson or Belhaven. Are the taxpayers just on there own and south and west Jackson get all the free water?
@12:31 Duh .. you're just now figuring this out?
@12:26
That’s an insult to Louis Farrakhan and you know it!
Excuses and blame ad nauseam.
Maybe he can expound on the meaning of this new emerency thingy. I just love to hear that Harvard education at work.
To get your “free” water, you have to wait sometimes 2 hours with your car running to receive your “free” water. You have to keep the car running because it is periodically moving. How “cost effective” is this?
12:31, is this a rhetorical question or you haven't been in Jackson long? "The collective" get the spoils, the one who have the tax collected from get the shaft.
11:23 am You win the Free Press Award & Jackson Pulitzer award. We love your sincere and honest words. IMO your must have majored in Creative Writing. You should replace Rukia! Love you! Happy New Year!
Good grief!
Y'all do know that water pipes burst with freezing temperatures, even in Pelahatchie.
If the mayor said nothing, y'all would also bitch.
Good Grief Charlie Brown 3:27 commented:
"If the mayor said nothing, y'all would still bitch", but meant to type: "Why can't the bitch be still and say nothing!"
3:27 PM, Small pipes burst. Large pipes do not freeze and first. If you notice when they start repairing the busted lines they are deep underground. Pipes that far underground do not freeze. The cold weather is just an excuse.
3:27. Lived on the redneck side of the river for over 25 years. In that time one “boil water” for 24 hours when a contractor hit a main while digging. You get the government you deserve.
Dear Good Grief @ 3:27 (great Chevy engine, by the way). You're thinking about residential pipes that burst during freezing weather, when certain precautions are not taken.
Name another city in this weather zone that's having this issue over and over, freeze or no freeze. The mair has no idea where the problems are, what the solution is or if there IS one.
Exactly what I expected to hear him say.
NOTHING.
Just a big word salad using the usual "woke" buzz words.
He only started saying "right" when he became irritated with the news reporters direct questions.
But a serious question, why did he not have the new
"EPA plant Manager" at this presser ... to answer the detailed tech questions ?
Waiting and idling your car for 2 hours for a $4.00 case of water. 24 bottles. I fully realize why some people stay broke.
3:27, When it comes to shitty water service, there is Jackson, and then there is every other city.
You do know that Pelahatchie and rest of world is not under boil water notice every other week.
Hey Mayor Chucky hold your news press conference in the morning not during General Hospital.
Has anyone been following the problems at the Liberty Bowl in Memphis and their water problems?
We all knew this was coming when the below freezing weather was forecast. The adults (the group of professionals )were forced out of the room by the kids and this is what you have now. There is no mature educated experienced proven leadership in jackson and I won’t capitalize jackson until it becomes Crossroads of the South again, yep, I’m from that generation. You know the generation who can remember the very good standing that jackson had when it was run by people who really cared about the city and everyone of all races benefited. Not just one. Now we have what the Governor of Mississippi referred to as an inept mayor. And there is absolutely no way you can tell me he graduated from Harvard. Not with a jps background. No way, uh uh…nope…you’re lyin’….
Arctic freezes usually bring out the pipe problems across the south.
Where's Ted at? He still in Virginia?
Ted was clearly zooming in from his actual out of state residence.
Can't say I blame him.
The Capital City can’t even provide the most basic of services. Embarrassing to watch on National news. No wonder MS isn’t growing like the rest of the southern states.
I think it's premature to blame this on cold weather (as was blaming the last water emergency on flooding).
At least we can reasonably expect a straight answer from the manager when they figure it out. I expect nothing but lies and excuses from Lumumba, based on his past performance.
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