Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Is this what charter school opponents are protecting?

The House Education Committee is scheduled to vote on a charter schools bill tomorrow and sure enough, here comes the gnashing of teeth from the Clarion-Ledger, Dr. George Schimmel, and Nancy Loome. While they writhe in agony over the thought of anyone but them approaching the altar of public schools, perhaps we should take a look at how well public schools are performing in Jackson.

JJ reviewed the report cards provided by the Department of Education on its website and found there are few bright spots in the Jackson public school system. Check out the data for yourself and I warn you: it's not pretty.

Elementary Schools (33)
Star: 2
High Performing: 7
Successful: 6
Academic Watch: 8
Low Performing:
At risk of failing: 10
Failing:


Middle Schools (9)
Star:
High Performing:
Successful: 1
Academic Watch: 6
Low Performing
At risk of failing:2
Failing


High Schools (8)
Star:
High Performing:
Successful: 1
Academic Watch: 5
Low Performing
At risk of failing: 2
Failing

% of total schools at Academic Watch or below: 66%
% of elementary schools at Academic Watch or below: 55%
% of middle & high schools at Academic Watch or below: 88%

Note: Davis Magnet is rated High Performing and Power APAC has a Star rating. I did not include those in the above descriptions as they are considered "the gifted and talented" schools.
An asterisk is placed next to a school with improvement of one level from the previous year. Two asterisks means it declined by one level. The previous level is stated if the change was more than one level.

Haven't seen these results in the media, have you? David Hampton wrote several columns and blogs this year opposing charter schools. Have you seen him write one column this year, last year, or the year before telling you how bad Jackson Public Schools really are? Have you seen him mention the poor ratings of JPS? Actually provide the data? His editorial page published a column by Claiborne Barksdale last week opposing charter schools. He published an editorial opposing current charter school legislation and no less than 15 similar letters to the editor while only two supporting letters were published in the last ten days.

How many letters to the editor or guest columns has the Clarion-Ledger published about the dismal ratings of Jackson Public Schools? Where are the 15 letters criticizing the leadership of Jackson Public Schools for only having ONE middle school and ONE high school rated above academic watch? How many times have you seen the same outrage currently spent opposing charter schools aimed at the poor performance of JPS? Not once did they tell you less than 40% of the boys at Wingfield and Provine graduate in four years or that half of all boys who go to high school in Jackson public schools graduate. Not once. Did Mr. Hampton mention his wife is in charge of public relations for Jackson Public Schools? Does he disclose this fact when opposing charter school legislation or recommending how it can be "fixed"? Earlier post on graduation rates

Then there is quote by Jackson Public School Board member Dr. George Schimmel in a letter published today in the newspaper:

"The charter school bill before the Legislature is less about choice than it is about segregation. It will segregate our children into those who are at high risk to fail and those who are not." Rest of letter

Dr. Schimmel, there will not be segregation if charter schools become reality because there is segregation right now. Children attending public schools in Jackson are held in bondage to schools that are already failing and at risk. They are doomed to a life of failure by YOUR school system, Dr. Schimmel. A school system that does not teach them, does not educate them, and damn sure is not graduating them. Even the children attending George and McWillie, two star schools actually educating children who are poor and black, see that spark of education extinguished when they move on to middle school. As for race itself, the public school system is 98% black.

I've yet to see Dr. Schimmel write letters discussing the graduation rates or pitiful report cards, yet he doesn't hesitate to raise the ghost of segregation in a 98% black school system when anyone discusses charter schools. Dr. Schimmel is a moral coward, more concerned with his position on the school board than actually doing something about the problems facing Jackson Public Schools. Injecting segregation into the discussion shows his intellectual laziness and inability to get off a path that has already led to failure because the JPS school system is a failure by any standard.

I just have one question for Dr. Schimmel, David Hampton, Nancy Loome of the Parents' Campaign, Claiborne Barksdale, and the rest of the public school lobby: How do you defend the record of a public school system such as Jackson's? How can you argue with a straight face a school system that graduates from high school only half its boys should be protected from charter schools? How do you claim a school system is not segregated when it is nearly all-black with most of the secondary schools rated as academic watch or at risk of failing? When will you admit this fight is more about you than it is the children?




Data:

Baker: High Performing
Barr: Successful
Boyd:High Performing*
Bradley: High Performing
Brinkley: Academic Watch
Brown: Successful*
Casey: High Performing
Clausell: Successful**
Dawson: none reported.
French: High Performing*
George: Star*
Green: High Performing* (At Risk of Failing)
Hopkins: At Risk of Failing**
Isable: " " **
Johnson: " "
Key: Successful
Lake: Academic Watch*
Lee: At Risk of Failling
Lester: Academic Watch
Marshall: At Risk of Failing**
McLeod: High Performing* (Academic Watch)
McWillie: Star
North Jackson: At Risk of Failing**
Oak Forest: Academic Watch
Peeples: Academic Watch*
Pointdexter: Academic Watch**
Raines: Successful
Smith: Academic Watch**
Spann: At Risk of Failing** (Successful)
Timberlawn: Successful
Walton: Academic Watch
Sykes: Successful
Wilkins: At Risk of Failing**
Woodville Heights: At Risk of Failing** (Successful)

Blackburn: Academic Watch
Brinkley: Academic Watch
Chastain: Academic Watch
Hardy: Academic Watch
Northwest: Academic Watch**
Peeples: Academic Watch*
Powell: At Risk of Failing
Rowan: Successful* (At Risk of Failing)
Whitten: At Risk of Failing

Bailey Magnet: Academic Watch
Callaway: Academic Watch**
Forest Hill: Successful. Congratulations. The best high school in JPS.
Jim Hill: Academic Watch
Lanier: Academic Watch**
Murrah: Academic Watch
Provine: At Risk of Failing
Wingfield: At Risk of Failing

Note: Adam Lynch covered some of this in the Jackson Free Press last year.

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

How many grades/times can a student fail?

Anonymous said...

How many grades/times can a student fail?

Anonymous said...

KF, unbelievably well-written column. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Unless state laws governing charter schools are properly written, charter schools will operate at will developing their own set of rules that change as more profit is desired.

http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2011/12/12/15mct_flcharteroversight.h31.html?tkn=NZXFrJNLwGNiBGQS0qHFYd0h8FIYzQKgum1%2F&cmp=ENL-EU-NEWS2

Anonymous said...

Charter school laws are "properly written" in Arkansas, and their charter schools are wildly successful. Why don't we just copy their law and be done with it?

I'll tell you why. Charter school opponents and public school trough-feeders are looking for slick ways to gut the Mississippi bill. Their only hope is for the Senators to cave in. So the time to watch out is in the conference committee. That's when I'd keep my eye on Tollison, and also when to see if Tate is serious about getting a strong bill into law.

Anonymous said...

In response to 12:20:

Isn't anything better than what the schools are like now? I grew up going to JPS schools -- Casey, Chastain and (proudly graduated from) Murrah. However, the schools are a complete joke now. Even the really good schools, like McWillie, are barely controlled chaos. (As part of a community project, I visited McWillie in March last year, so I speak from first-hand knowledge.) There is no way I'd send my kids to school at any JPS school. Why not give the taxpayers and citizens of the city the choice to send their children where they can actually be educated?

Anonymous said...

Peggy Hampton is Executive Director of Media Relations for Jackson Public Schools. Looking at what her husband David has been doing at the Clarion Ledger, I'd say she does a good job.

Anonymous said...

Competition and profit is evil.

Anonymous said...

And don't forget that David Hampton lived north of Hinds County until his kids graduated. Then he trumpeted his return to Jackson. What a guy.

Anonymous said...

I attended Key, Peeples and graduated from Wingfield. All three schools churned out educated kids at the time. Since then, there have been two major changes: the style of teaching and the color of the kids attending the schools. Without touching on race, all of the wishy washy, pro self-esteem, new math whole word rubbish that's been injected into how the classrooms has utterly failed. When you mix the new teaching styles with kids who have no self respect or respect for others, especially those in positions of authority, you have the chaos (what a great description of takes place in schools daily). But don't worry, they have plenty of self esteem.

Anonymous said...

Why Charter Schools in Mississippi Are a Good Idea
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-lynch-edd/mississippi-charter-schools_b_1300751.html

Anonymous said...

1:37 someone will accuse you of being racist, but I think you are a realist. appears to me it will be the same administrators, and same politics as now, as the new bill is structured.

Fonner Gay said...

Now why would the Eichelwankjob @ the Cottoncandyassblog out of the blue effort to bring a connection between charter schools and Muslims in Tejas originally published in June 2011 to the attention of Mississippians here in February 2012?

Anonymous said...

yawn!!!!

Anonymous said...

February 28, 2012 4:21 PM, the opponents to Charters are desperate.

Shadowfax said...

Good comments and research leading into the thread. Until someone mentioned (outed) Hampton's wife, I'm sitting here wondering why he would manipulate the 'letters' input or why, frankly, he would give a rip. Now we know. His family income depends on the PERS link which likely collapses when dominos begin to fall at the State Department.

So, next question concerns Barksdale. Why would he NOT want to see improvement or stabs at potential solutions? He's a gambler and a speculator with plenty to wager on education (literacy is his baby), so, why would he want to push back from efforts that might bring promise?

I've decided the only sensible conclusion to the Barksdale question is he doesn't want his domain challenged ~ wants to remain the only game in town, the only path out of the swamp, the only one to which truth-seekers turn for providential guidance.

Loome? The answer with Loome is an easy one. As with St. Mal and the Paddy expansion into Fondren (did I get that worded right?). He gave it passive lip service but won't give up his turf without a fight and lots of behind-the-scenes chicanery. Same with Loome. She isn't about success in the school system. Loome is about Loome. See earlier citations relative to her income. She's vested. But, she's vested in Loome. And isn't it amazing the number of terribly lengthy diatribes of hers get published by Hampton in any given twelve month period?

Don't know which way Tater's skirt will blow but will keep an eye open for JJ to expose his motives. He's probably another Molpus 25 years after Molpus put on the public-schools drum-majorette uniform. Maybe somebody much smarter than I can take a stab at Tate's thought process.

It's a given that 'them thar schools they ain't what they used to be', so we don't need to keep on reading about paddlings, boys who knew their place, the school yards of old and the respect we had for blue-haired school marms.

I consider the revelation on the Hamptons to be huge. It's one down and ten to go. He and his motive have been exposed. We will expect him from now own to begin his commentary with an explanatory disclaimer. Right, David?

Now, what about the rest of them?

Anonymous said...

let's regulate them properly.

www.tampabay.com/news/education/controversy-over-scientology-influence-clouds-future-of-pinellas-charter/1217239

Anonymous said...

The folks in control don't care about how bad the system has become as long as it remains 'their' system. That is all the opposition to Charter Schools is about. Charter Schools take money and power away from them. Many times a failing school system, with no competition, will receive more grants and funding than a successful school system. Which means more operating funds, more travel subsidies for training, more administrator positions for friends, more contracts to manipulate, more end of year money, etc...

Anonymous said...

Seeing what goes on in JPS being completely oblivious to the situation (not from the southern US), it is a typical inner city problem. Real stake holders such as the parents, community leaders, and students have to stop the name blame and begin to rebuild. Many successful inner-city minority schools have completely turned around after educated and moral individuals became involved with the turn around! I would say that this has to be one of the first steps JPS has to be willing to take in order to become successful. But the name blame, corruption, and ethical concerns have to be fixed, as well as the lowered expectations for the education of faculty and staff without the proper support from the school system. All are fixable, It is just going to take work that your community may not be up to with the Charter initiative.

Anonymous said...

A student can fail twice. The response to intervention mandate will indirectly not allow a student to fail more that that.

Anonymous said...

So a 17 year old in the ninth grade that fails, either drops out or is passed?? Apparently s/he will be passed, if they prefer to stay in school, and that skews the numbers and further complicates matters.

Anonymous said...

Comparing the Loomatic missive of yesterday with the Clarion-Liberal's editorial of today one can see that Hampton parroted Loome's email nearly verbatim.

The die is now cast. The worst case legislation will be the Senate bill.

Anonymous said...

Chicago Public Schools expect to open six-year public high schools whereby students will "graduate with an associate's degree and the expertise they need to qualify for high-tech jobs."

Anonymous said...

From the fereral level: this may shed some light in the dark, dank hole of public education...by default I am now having to deal with the Social Security Admin. and benefits for a minor child.
When this child reaches 18 years of age, all the benefits stop cold turkey...Unless, (here is the punch line, THEIR words) "The child if is a full-time student at an ELEMENTARY or secondary school" Soooooooooooooo....there is a reward to fail....SS benefits... and that "reward" is about $1100.00 per month..per child...

V.V. said...

We welcomed new neighbors recently, who came here from the Pacific Northwest. They immediately enrolled their three children in St. Andrew's, but asked the gathering "Just out of curiosity---which elementary school would they have gone to, in this district?" and NOT ONE PERSON (there were 8 or 9 couples there) could answer the question! Reason: nobody in their right minds would toss their darlings into the miasma known as "JPS". It's not even an option.

Kingfish said...

Even if the community wanted to get involved in JPS, there is almost no way for them to do so. The Mayor appoints the school board. They are insulated from public opinion. The board hires the Superintendent. Any time a Mayor or City Councilman tries to say anything about them or point out problems, screams of interference ring out.

Anonymous said...

Which only reinforces Kingfish how directly attributable Jackson's decline is to the terms of Harvey Johnson. Yes, yes, Melton was also a disaster but that doesn't render Johnson less a failure and when it comes to the educational calamity that is JPS Harvey Johnson stands front and center as responsible for the debacle.

Kingfish said...

Wrong. This started with Fortenberrry and CBOK.

Phillips is a board member. He flat out opposes teachers exams for teachers. Said so in a Jackson Advocate column back in the 90's.

Anonymous said...

Wrong? Johnson has been appointing members to the JPS board for nearly 11 1/2 years and he bears no responsibility?

You are wrong.

Anonymous said...

Ben Canada is laughing somewhere...

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry but being from another area outside the south and seeing the obvious disorganization of JPS and unqualified administration/ staff that receive degrees from universities who's students complain about the ridiculously easy certification tests makes me think... If the public... elects the mayor..... who intern appoints the school board members... who intern hire the superintendent.... who intern hires who he/she wishes for positions within the district..... Then the district declines.... There is a logical fix to this chain of events.... Hello!!!!!!! And apparently this is a cycle.... that no one has been able to break since it started... Why would you not start Charter schools in this situation? This system is broken, either reorganize he system from the OUTSIDE!!!!! or face the consequences.

Anonymous said...

And you are correct the student will either be passed or will drop out... More than likely the student/ child will actually drop out. It is sad, and makes no sense... but welcome to NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND. Instead of them failing they just end up dropping out in High School. This is what happens when politicians that do not understand or care, try to become involved in education. I also might add that every teacher saw the obvious problems with the bill as soon as it was passed but because the NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND band wagon had left the station no teacher could dare voice her opinion to a school board or mayor because they would in turn be viewed as lazy and in favor of doing the opposite LEAVING CHILDREN BEHIND. See the cycle/ problems? Thank you politicians with your quick easy fixes... And by the way I am in favor of accountability and a lot of it. It should just be executed by people that understand the process. After all would you want cattle farmers in charge of telling your doctor how to keep patients healthy? Then why are politicians telling teachers how to teach? Shouldn't it instead be well qualified teachers telling other teachers how they should teach?

Anonymous said...

Can't forget the Educational Beauracracy and the politico involved therein.

Anonymous said...

Exactly JPS seems to operate similarly to the government in Mexico... Its publicly elected, totally corrupt, no one knows how to fix it, so everyone that could fix it just complains or moves out of the country, leaving the unethical individuals to become master puppeteers for those left in office. Who actually sends their child to a JPS filling school who cares enough to become actively involved in this debate... Probably no one that understands the complexity of the problem, hence why we are in the problem in the first place.

Anonymous said...

9:11 Everyone in Canada is laughing at Jackson ;-)

11:25 Please look up the difference between "intern" and "in turn" before posting anything again.

11:38 No Child Left Behind was a noble effort that tried to rectify some ofthe problems that accumulated when previously left to the professional educators to handle. Like it or not everyone who PAYS for public schools or hires public school graduates has a say in how the system should be run.

V.V.: My 7th grader just took the ACT and scored higher than 91% of ACT-takers from Mississippi (better than 79% nationally). This shows 1) the value of paying for good teaching at a private school, and doing homework with a child every night, and 2) the poor performance of MS test-takers compared to the rest of the country.

7:16 They may have changed the rules, but if a minor collects SS because of the death of a parent they used to be entitled to support until out of college. If they collect SSI/disability because of their own disability they can continue to collect as adults if they are still disabled; there is an entire industry in MS of lawyers trying to convince SS that someone is disabled and entitled to support, no matter whether they are really disabled or not.

Anonymous said...

Which is why actual teachers should and parents should have a look at this bill before it passes. Unless we want a repeat of the amazing things NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND did to our already struggling school systems.

Anonymous said...

I alluded to this in different terminology. Glad to know there is some agreement. Often common sense doesn't prevail.

Anonymous said...

Kingfish, you are so right about Fortenberry and CBOK. I knew as an elementary student (when CBOK came into play) what a joke it was and began to see the decline while still in the JPS system.

I graduated from Wingfield in 1991 - probably one of the last classes to actually graduate a majority of it's students. At that time the teachers were still quite good. My brother was still there for a couple of years after me and by the time he graduated, it was a completely different atmosphere.

These politicians and "educators" are disgusting. They do not care about doing what is right - only about taking care of themselves - and everyone else be damned!

Anonymous said...

12:50,

I'm a '93 grad of WHS and your CBOK assessment is correct. I remember when they instituted it when I was in 5th grade. Immediately the style of teaching changed to one that "taught the test". We were turned into scan-tron robots. My mother was a teacher I can still hear her cussing CBOK like the dog it was.

Anonymous said...

Ben Canada was the Superintendent when corporal punishment was eliminated in JPS. It was not OK to paddle the little chil'ren. Canada left Jackson for Atlanta which didn't work out too well for him then on to Oregon which didn't work out too well. Not sure where he is today but pretty sure it isn't working out too well (for the school system).

Anonymous said...

Charter schools are already popular - and successful - in many other states.

For example:

http://www.kipp.org/ (a non-profit that runs charter schools aimed at low-income children in California, Colorado, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Missouri, Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, North Carolina, Washington, D.C., Maryland, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, New York, and Massachusetts; "KIPP is a national network of 109 KIPP public schools in 20 states and the District of Columbia enrolling more than 32,000 students.")

Charter schools - including "non-selective" ones (meaning schools that accept by lottery or take all-comers, without regard to talent/ability, unlike a gifted magnet school) have proven to be more successful than non-charter schools in New Orleans since they were legalized post-Katrina.

"When evaluating New Orleans’ schools against the 200 point index called the State Performance Index (SPI), 19 of the 20 highest performing non-selective schools were charter schools. Charter schools affiliated with charter management organizations such as KIPP tended to perform better than stand-alone schools. The overall percentage of schools performing below the failing mark of 60 fell from 64% in 2005 to 36% in 2009."

Charter schools can operate without teacher's unions, making them especially popular - or controversial, depending on your opinion - in states that have strong teacher unionization.

Are all charter schools perfect? Of course not. Are some worse than 'regular' schools? Most definitely. However many are really great alternatives to traditional public k-12.

I think Mississippi's best hope, school-wise, is to recruit and install non-profit charter school organizations that do this nationally. I think it would be a bad decision to grant charter school applications to local in-state organizations that don't have the experience or know-how in establishing schools. I think in-state folks can learn from the national models (such as KIPP - which has 21 schools in Houston, check out KIPP Houston - or Aspire or or MATCH) and then, in a few years, give it a go independently.

Watch this video for an idea of one charter school: The Story of KIPP on Vimeo

Anonymous said...

To: 12:14pm....7:16 am here! You are correct in one regard...these SS benefits are in fact the result of the death of this childs mother..the deceased mother was on SS disability prior to her death and those benefits now go to her kids...however, when this child turns 18, they stop cold turkey..unless, this 18 year old is still in ELEMENTRY school..huh? an 18 year old in the 5th grade? yikes!

Anonymous said...

KF, you need to see HB 337 (pardon the caps, its just the style of the bill language)

AN ACT TO PROHIBIT THE STATE BOARD OF EDUCATION FROM REQUIRING STUDENTS TO ACHIEVE A PASSING SCORE ON END-OF-COURSE TESTS ADMINISTERED UNDER THE SUBJECT AREA TESTING PROGRAM AS A REQUIREMENT FOR GRADUATION; TO AMEND SECTION 37-16-7, MISSISSIPPI CODE OF 1972, TO PROHIBIT LOCAL SCHOOL DISTRICTS FROM USING THE END-OF-COURSE TESTS TO DETERMINE IF STUDENTS HAVE MASTERED MINIMUM ACADEMIC SKILLS REQUIRED FOR GRADUATION

Anonymous said...

Anyone that wishes to retain the status quo and see their taxes increase should advocate charter schools.

Anonymous said...

I saw a utube presentation on Agenda 21 whereby the u n is ushering in the brave new 1 world government that we actually signed onto under president Bush Sr and it points out that the failure of public schools and children not being too bright is all part of this agenda- easier to enslave you know if they only listen to music. In fact under this reengineering that all nations but a handful are way down the road on of this project- jobs will be assigned and workers will be drones ,all wealth having been confiscated . So I have to opine that Hampton doing his wife's job is shocking enough on the Gannett's dime but that it is allowed by them and the true failure of the schools is whitewashed in order to keep the children in this bondage-- surely the Gannett Co is already in league with Agenda 21 and the loss of all that is American and is supportive of their long time editor Hampton who is also very well aware of what he is perpetuating.It is not our imagination that Jackson has just about crashed and burned under Hampton's trying very hard to influence public opinion at every turn but especially education - the subject he is obsessed about to the max. Heartbreaking for our city children that one man at one newspaper could cost them so much.

Anonymous said...

My favorite hat is off to you, KF, for the arduous work that went into this self-assigned report.

Michael Van Veckhoven said...

JJ, you sure seem to know a lot about JPS. I'm impressed! Question: When was the last time you stepped foot onto one of these JPS campuses that you know so much about? Also, what have you done personally to help JPS students succeed? I don't know Dr. Schimmel, but the fact that you are willing to publically insult someone speaks volumes about your own "moral" conduct.

Kingfish said...

Well, well, well, a member of Meridian's Parents for Public Schools shows up.

Notice how you avoid the facts, you don't mention them or acknowledge them but instead throw out the red herring. I know the technique well, unless someone has done everything the way you have, they need to shut up. Sorry, that does not work here.

My stepping foot onto a JPS campus does not have ANYTHING to do with noticing the fact the graduation rates are pitiful, especially for boys, and that at the middle and high school levels, only two schools are above academic watch.

As for what is moral, when you and Schimmel start using segregation and playing the race card, I don't give a rat's ass what you or him think as you forfeited any credibility or moral authority you might have had. Period.

Why don't you tell me how a school like Hattiesburg High School that graduates less than half its students and only one third of its boys is not failing? Come on, you can do it. Using BS to sell cars is alot different than trying to BS your way on this site.

Michael Van Veckhoven said...

I just now saw this response, so please forgive the late reply. Grad rates are too low. This is a fact. Another fact is that charter schools aren't any better than traditionals: http://credo.stanford.edu/reports/MULTIPLE_CHOICE_CREDO.pdf

You never answered my questions about visiting JPS campuses, and I doubt you ever will, but I'll ask again:

1) When was the last time you stepped foot onto a JPS campus?

2) What have you personally done to help any of the fatherless, poverty-stricken boys of JPS?

You haven't answered these questions because you haven't done anything for your City's public schools. You've looked at numbers and data on a computer screen and you've bitched and complained about a problem, yet you haven't done a damn thing to be part of the solution, have you? Prove me wrong. Tell me what you've done.

Ever heard of the phrase "It takes a village"?

Community involvement is the solution, and it's never too late. Not even for you.

P.S. Is the fact that I'm involved with Parents for Public Schools supposed to be some kind of indictment? How? Why?



Michael Van Veckhoven said...

By the way, regarding your "car salesman" comments...Our business employs fifty-eight people. How many people do you employ?



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In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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