Jackson Jambalaya

He was a human being, not a monster. He did some great things and he did some terrible things. He could exemplify class, and he could be low and trashy. He was complex, and none of us can say if the world was a better place because he was here or not. Let him rest in peace, and God willing his family will move on. I, for one, wish him well.

Agreed. As is tradition in my Catholic faith, I will pray for his soul, and for his family.

Sending prayers for soul and his family...I pray he has found peace as well as peace for those that truly love him.

Thanks for reminding us that there is so much more to remember about Stuart then the very tragic events of the past few years. Not being in his shoes, it is impossible for us to understand his seeemingly self-destructive behavior. Anyone who has ever seen a loved one struggle with the demons that accompany addiction and other illnesses knows the peace and relief that comes with knowing that thier loved one is no longer fighting that battle. Praying for peace and understanding for his family.

My thoughts on Mr. Irby, which I developed as I followed the story and learned more about him, are that he was a square peg made to pit into a round hole. He was forced at a young age to take the corporate path. Carry on the family name, take care of the family business, etc. Smart enough to actually do it but frankly, not what he wanted to do. If you know anything about him, he is passionate about the arts, especially music. He can play the piano quite well. I think if left to his own way, he would have wound up doing something in the arts and been much happier. Instead, he was forced to live a life that really was not one of his own choosing and everything about him was rebelling against that choice over the years. If I've offended, I'm sorry, that just my opinion. Nothing more, nothing less.

Sad. Simply sad all the way around.

Funny, Stuart had to die for you to say anything nice about the man. All this retrospective bullshit with a kind slant is nothing more than damage control, where is the venom?

Charlie: How the hell do you figure 'the aristocracy' is to blame for poor public education and crime, or for that matter, wars. We elect men from among our peers and send them off to a place where wars are initiated and funded. And it damned sure ain't the aristocracy that drives public education into the shithole or keeps it there. But I appreciate your lame attempt at projecting yourself as a representative spokesperson of the impotent proletariat.

Something tells me you'll show up around the corner from the funeral, streetside, with more of your bullshit on a posterboard.

Suicide is an extremely selfish, self-centered, arrogant, cowardly, sinful, and evil thing to do. When Stuart Irby chose suicide, he was deliberately choosing to abandon his responsibilities both before God and to all the people in his life, including his children, his siblings, and his friends.

No doubt, like many people who profess to be Christians, Stuart Irby did certain outward and supposedly "good" deeds. But long before the automobile accident, Stuart had deep and serious moral and spiritual problems. But at any point prior to his death, Stuart COULD have called out to the Lord in GENUINE repentance and humility, and asked God not only to forgive him of his sins and save him by the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ alone, but also to enable him--by the power of the Lord's Holy Spirit--to then cope with whatever various difficulties he was facing. And IF Stuart had done that, the Lord MOST CERTAINLY would have responded to Stuart in mercy and forgiveness for true salvation, AND in ongoing, daily help to enable Stuart to live a TRULY God-honoring life. But Stuart did NOT call out to the Lord in GENUINE repentance and humility.

By choosing suicide, Stuart Irby was arrogantly rebelling against the Lord. And by Stuart's deliberately choosing to end his own life, Stuart was ending his life in a state of rebellion against the Lord. So, based not only on this, but also on MANY other facts of Stuart's life, there is absolutely NO biblical reason why anyone should think that Stuart Irby ever truly knew the Lord or is with the Lord now.

Let's not forgot that Stuart repeatedly and deliberately stonewalled the investigation conducted by Dedousis' family, apparently in an attempt to cover up his own part in the responsibility for that terrible automobile accident which resulted in the deaths of Lisa Dedousis and Daniel Mark Pogue.

What part of brain-damaged do you not understand?

9:09, I do not know the Irby's or anyone involved in the tragic events of the past few years. You quoted no bibical reason that Stuart could have known or ever known the Lord. Matthew 7:1 says, Judge not that ye be not judged. I don't think any person on this board knows the relationship Stuart had with his Lord. That is a relationship between the individual and God. We can all change in the twinkling of an eye. My prayers are for all the family members involved.

I have refrained from posting on this subject but I couldn't help it once I received this post in my email from 9:09.
9:09- please take your bible back and choke on it. Who are YOU to judge him? Not everyone thinks like you do, nor do they believe like you do. People like you make me sick and it is people like you who make this world so demented.

A person who commits suicide is not automatically an evil person, nor are they bad. Is it selfish? Perhaps. But OBVIOUSLY he felt he had no other way out. Some people get so consumed inside their own depression they cannot see the light. And yes, not even the LORD can fix them. SHOCKER.

I had a dear friend commit suicide and your post really makes me want to slap you...and perhaps someone should slap you to bring you back to reality. And then slap you again for thinking so high and mighty of yourself.

In reality and not in bible beater land that you float around in, not all things can be saved by THE LORD.

My heart hurts for people who see no other way out in the world but to take their own life. If you are such the (backwards)"Christian" you claim to be then show some damn compassion for the man...his family...and his friends. Not everyone thinks like you do and there are a BUNCH of people out there grieiving his death.

You are just like all the other judgemental assholes in this world who are so cruel and so hypocritical with your stagnant religious beliefs. If people like you are the ones who "supposedly" go to heaven, then I will gladly go to hell to not have to spend eternity with a judgmental moron like you.
I am appalled and outraged over your comment. You are the worst kind of evil.

To ALL of the Irbys and his many friends- I am so sorry for your loss. It is a sad, horrible ending to a very painful tragic story. I hope Stuart is at peace now. I hope Karen can pick up the pieces and move forward and find closure to all of this. I hope his family and many friends can find peace and closure on this.
And I hope anyone else who is going through a dark time in their life when all they want is the pain to end, to get help.
One of the hardest things in the world is to lose someone, especially to suicide. Long after the anger ends, the pain still lingers.

9:09's ignorance and misunderstanding of the human condition is part of the reason our world is so screwed up. We belittle those who have mental problems. We call them cowards when they take their own lives. It's that kind of attitude that prevents people from getting the help they need in the first place. Granted, in Irby's case, he was brain damaged from the accident, but 9:09's callous, thoughtless and closed-minded view is indicative, at least in my mind, of a greater problem -- people with their nose buried in the Book, their heart buried in the sand, and their head buried up their ass.

The thing that bothers me is that none of Mr. Irby's friends have mentioned that he was tormented by the deaths of the doctors. Or did I miss that somewhere? I have read where he was so tormented because he was left with nannies and made to work at a job he didn't like (hard to work up a lot of sympathy when I struggle to pay my light bill). Was he so brain damaged he did not realize 2 people died? Just wondering.

Justin you are 100% right...people like that make the world so corrupt.
I hope they don't have children and brainwash them into thinking like that

The born again super conservative Christians who spew self righteousness make me sick. Stuart killed himself,you fucking moron, because he had a frontal lobe injury. Since you are stupid, I will explain what that means: When you have damage to your frontal lobe of the brain, you cannot control impulsivity, or in other words, you are dis-inhibited. Normally, your frontal lobe acts as the executive branch, vetoing all kinds of primal "limbic" needs. For instance, when a man walks down the street and an ultra hot women with great boobs walks past and he barely makes a glance, he is exhibiting a strong and dominant frontal lobe. Your conservative Christian values may tell you that there is no way he would have an impure thought, but we all know he briefly fantasied about all kinds of wicked ideas. Take the same guy that has frontal lobe damage and he might just walk straight at her and grab her boobs. It is because there isn't anything to stop him. This isn't about good and evil, it is about the layers of the brain and what they do.

So, for you to say that he is a selfish evil prick for hanging himself, well, that makes your an ignorant dumb fuck who needs to go back to your prayer group and do whatever it is you people do and keep your goddamn mouth shut.

I also agree, if they don't serve beer and hotwings in heaven, and it full of bible beaters throwing their hands in the air and singing three chord praise songs, then I would rather burn for eternity.

cue the theme to Mash 4077

all i can say is wow. screw the extreme jihadists, there are extreme christians that we might want to consider a threat to our society. to 9:09am you do know god is listening to you degrade another man and his family right... maybe he/she is taking the time to ask God to forgive him/her than replying to the same degradation he/she is receiving.

to 10:40. AMEN!

10:40 Well, now that you have explained Mr. Irby's condition to all of us, maybe you can explain this. If he was mentally ill and unable to tell right from wrong, why in the world was he ever left alone and not monitored 24/7, or why wasn't he somewhere he could not hurt himself or others? Could it be there was still no one who could tell him no?

9:09 and 10:40 -- two sides of the same inappropriately angry coin.

No one on this board or anywhere else knows what was really in Stuart Irby's heart, mind, and soul when he died. Speculating about his status with God or that his depression had to be ONLY a symptom of brain damage is JUST SPECULATION. And, quite frankly, it's none of of the concern of anyone outside his friends and family.

We don't know what happened the night of the accident, we don't know what happened between Stuart and Karen, we don't know what kinds og legal games were really happening, and we don't know why he hung himself. What we DO know is this: two bright young people with great futures are dead; a man who meant a lot to many in the community is dead; a woman went to jail; adult children AND a small boy have lost their father. ALL of that is tragic.

I feel that the appropriate Christian response to the whole thing is to reflect on what I do that's wrong -- look at the incredible pain that only a few bad decisions caused SO many people and examine my own decisions. Then I need to fall on my knees and give thanks that my own sins aren't displayed and dissected on television and blogs.

Stuart and Karen weren't cartoon villians -- no black hats or moustaches to twirl. They were just messed-up people, and everyone is messed-up in some form. The only difference is that we now have a major object lesson from which to learn. In response to this whole horror story, we all ought to take hard looks at ourselves instead of continuing to look at the Irby's. What do I do that's painful to people I love? What do I do that's potentially destructive or dangerous? How can I be better?

Serious self-reflection by Stuart and Karen MIGHT have been enough to keep any of this from happening. We'll never know. We do know, however, that anger and insults and speculation NOW won't do anything to bring anyone back to life or heal any remaining wounds.

And, 10:40, suicide IS a selfish act. People kill themselves because they cannot see beyond their own pain, they can't stop to consider the immense agony they will be causing their friends and loved ones. That kind of self-focus IS selfish.

Doesn't make the person bad, though. It makes them ill, broken, isolated, etc. It's not selfish in the way that refusing to share with someone is selfish -- it's not self-aggrandizing.

It's the worst kind of selfishness, the kind that is so focused on pain that the person cannot see his or her own value to others, blessings, talents, opportunities. It's a selfishness that works against the person, not for him or her.

Saying it's a selfish act isn't an insult directed at Stuart Irby or anyone who has committed suicide -- it's a comment on the depth of that person's misery.

Irby doesn't seem to have been an evil man, but why praise him for giving away money someone else earned?

If it involved any significant sacrifice on his part, that would be different. But how morally praiseworthy is charity when you keep more than you could ever possibly need?

Put differently, why do we heap laurels on mediocre people who, by sheer luck, are able to give away things they don't need? Aren't Irby's actions the moral equivalent of a middle class person taking old clothes to the Salvation Army?

Or do they even rise that high? After all, the middle class person didn't expect to be praised at society events for his donation.

To sum up, what's with all the sycophancy?

WAPT reported the other night that the Irbys were still married, the divorce had not gone through. The CL article today said they were divorced. Which is it? Could make a huge difference in where Karen ends up living and with how much $.

I never met Stuart Irby. But, I can tell you that he died a hard death. When hanging was still a legal form of execution, hangmen would position the noose in such a way as to snap the person's neck. However, if they did not like the person, then the noose was positioned to slowly choke the life out of the person being hanged.

No one is totally bad or good. We all fall somewhere in between.

Whatever Stuart did - he paid dearly for it.

i think the man's family deserves some respect in this matter and should be allowed to grieve.

If Stuart and Karen went to the First Presbyterian Church and he went to Belhaven, I assume Stuart had this Calvinistic spiritual philosophy that is very fatalistic. If you are chosen by God or chosen by Gold, or chosen by Glenfiddich that is just the way it is... You have to try real hard to make your own reality. Kinda dark mentality there. Like Southern gothic or gangster rap. Bloody stuff.

Good comments 1:06 and 1:53

Hilarious interpretation of Calvinism.

You get 'em all here King.

I ASSUME you are an elitest Baptist @1:53. and if you knew what the hell you were talking about there are two branches of the Presbyterian church: one who does believe in Calvanism and one who does not. so I will ASSUME that ALL of your ASSUMPTIONS are based on a 50/50 split? cant we just put some closure to this whole ordeal and have respect for the Irby's whose family is one of the best that has been around here.

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Suicide is typically the result of a person suffering severe depression also called "mental illness". When the person gets to this point, they no longer realize there is a world around them, they do not see another option.

Great book to read written by a psychologist suffering from depression - "An Unquiet Mind".

9:09--Do you attend Six Flags over Jesus? You know---the congregation that is about 2 dozen snakes short of being a cult..

Stuart was effectivley on the side that believes in Calvinism. The split turned the old Presbyterian church into two main branches, The Presbyertian Church in America and the Presbyterian Church of the United States of America. PCA churches (which First Pres is and for which Belhaven is a denominational school) are major Calvinists. PCUSA are less so. Whether or not Stuart believed all the parts of Calvinism is impossible to say, but he definitely was part of Calvinist institutions, as was all of his extended family.

By the way, the first point of Calvinism is the belief in the total depravity of all mankind, which is pretty interesting considering all that's happened in this case, and all the ugliness it's inspired.

I have heard the Covenant Prez clergymen preach and a black preacher from First Prez and they sounded little different from the plain ole baptist preachers. The elders of the Presbyterian church are supposed to have ministries to the weak in the church. The baptist deacons don't do anything, but the church governance in Stuart's church meant that the elders should have helped him...visited and prayed over him and told him that they loved him.

To the person who was so SURE of Mr. Irby's spiritual relationships - are you serious? Can you look at yourself in the mirror and spew that nonsense? What makes you think you know what is in anyone's heart and mind??

To say suicide is rebelling against God is so offensive it is almost laughable. Obviously you have never encountered a tortured soul suffering from mental illness!

I have a friend - mother, wife, professional. After the birth of her second child one year after the first, she descended into a post partum depression like no one had ever seen. She ended up spending a month in behavioral health. Blessedly, her mental health was restored and she has been fine for well over a decade.

Once we talked about the suicide attempt that led her to the hospital. Of course my question was "what about your babies?" to which she replied, "where I was, my babies didn't exist. the darkness that surrounded me had taken them. i wanted to end my life because the world was too dark for me to live in." This is a highly educated, very spiritual family woman who was barely saved from the claws of suicide.

As far as I can tell, you don't know diddly about Mr. Irby or anything else. How dare you judge him? The world knows he was mentally impaired. That injury alone could be enough to take him to that dark place. Add the accident, the deaths of the doctors, the release of his wife, no doubt he darkness pulled him in.

But to suggest that God doesn't forgive suicides and receive them into His kingdom is hateful and just downright WRONG. If you have any proof to the contrary, please present it.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. The one who loves us and gave himself as a sacrifice. The one who heals all wounds and quiets all storms.

I couldn't pick Mr. Irby out of a lineup but I do pray that his storms have been quieted and that he is in the arms of our loving Father.

By no means am I an expert on religion but I truly believe that Stuart is in heaven. I also don't believe you have to be in church every time the door is open to be a Christian.

Our father is a forgiving God and he knows all of our trials and tribulations before we even know them. He also knows what's in our heart.

I will continue to pray for the entire Irby Family including Karen. I will also continue to pray for the Dedousis Families as well as the Pogue Families.

Lord, please forgive them, for they know not what they say.

And I'll put myself out there on this one, yes, forgive them....

Because none of us, including me, could say anything, do anything to explain, condemn, forgive, allow, it is not our place. Give the man peace. You do not know the path he walks, unless you have walked in it yourself. Love, me.

I'm a bit hurt by the insensitivity regarding this man's letter inspiring words of hope. I'm not sure how to take any of you at this point.

rant done

Repeating and high-fiving this post by 5:15.

"Suicide is typically the result of a person suffering severe depression also called "mental illness". When the person gets to this point, they no longer realize there is a world around them, they do not see another option.

Great book to read written by a psychologist suffering from depression - "An Unquiet Mind"."

Not that the armchair psychologists or shithouse religionists will read it either time.

So what does the Karen Irby poll tell us??

God Rest Stuart Irby's Soul. He's in a quiet Place and he now sees the face of Christ. The veil of the bodies torment is lifted and now he and Jesus can work this out, no matter how long it takes for in the Presence of Christ there is no sense of time or place. Gods will for his son is Peace through a healed mind.

Heaven is not a privilge, a reward, or a state of separated "Specialness". Heaven is our Inheritance, we have to go there! There is no place else. Oneness means one....and that is the State of the Mind of God and all of His Creation.

That is what is mean't by "A Better Place"....peace.........

this is a tough one no question about it right, wrong or what? Three of the four involved are dead. There is NO WAY to know or understand what really happened. All the way back to the accident, the truth in the commuting of the sentence or the suicide. This story will go on for a while, how long I do not know. However there were two camps divided on the wreck. Then three after the commuting. Now I believe there are three, since the suicide. Have some people changed there opinion? Should we (that are observers) even have an opinion? It is a tough one for sure!

"Heaven is our Inheritance, we have to go there! There is no place else. "

Gee, I thought most religions believed there was another place.

Oh, hell - I can't remember the name......

Wait - it's the place Catholics say you automatically go after you commit suicide, the only unforgivable mortal sin. All sins can be forgiven, unless you're dead and can't ask God to forgive you for destroying life, specifically the life he gave you.

Kingfish,

You are the dog licking his own vomit. Go away now!! Jackson will be MUCH BETTER off without you.

Anon 6:40 PM

Your tantrum barely even rates a response.
I don't know what your problem is, but I could make a guess or two just by seeing where you dropped your load.

I don't usually respond to posts like this, but I'll make an exception. Not sure why you feel the need to be here when it obviously isn't your kind of place; so let me suggest you should just GTFO if it's too disturbing.

As a personal friend, and someone STILL mourning, alot of your comments are harmful and indignant. Stuart, was a christian. He, as himself, pre injury, would never have taken his life. He knew it (his life) belonged to God. Stuart post brain injury, had many struggles. Yet, remained a WONDERFUL man. I love him still, and miss him much. He is deceased, not his loved ones. Consider them, as you pass judgement as if you are God, yourselves. Let Stuart rest. Let his family and loved ones live and heal. This could have been your tragedy. How would you like it handled??