Thursday, February 11, 2010

Read 'em and weep

Latest shenanigans at the Mississippi Legislature:

HB #35: Passed. Revises the reporting requirements for educator misconduct with a student. Increases the penalties for teachers and students having sex (if they are not married to each other. ;-) ) and treats it as sexual battery. Bill status

HB #80: Passed. Creates panel to study creation of pre-school program. Bill status

HB #262: Passed. Creates damages in whistleblower law. Bill status

HB #232: Passed. Novelty lighter bill. Bill status

HB #273: Read the third time. Creates a crime of attempted murder. Bill status

HB #536: Read the third time. Requires nursing homes to carry liability insurance. Bill status

HB #683: Passed as amended. Require LLC's to file an annual report. Good bill. Bill status

HB #694: Passed. Require applicants for nursing license to undergo criminal background check. Bill status. I know some nervous nurses.

HB #718: Passed as amended. Clarifies powers of Gaming Commission to regulate bingo. Bill status

HB #769: Read the third time. Includes strangling in domestic violence laws. Bans parole for domestic violence convictions. Bill status

HB# 973: Read the third time. Bans use of cellphones without hands-free device while driving. Bill status

HB #1135: Passed. Bans sleeping with inmates. Bill status

HB #1309: Read the third time. Revise the stalking laws. Bill status

HB #1456. Passed as amended. Require county medical examiners to be certified in forensic pathology. Bill status

SB #2026. Motion to reconsider entered. Medical claims get first priority over other bills. Bill status

SB #2153. Passed as amended. Allows concealed-carry permit holders to bear concealed weapons in a public park. Bill status

SB #2337: Passed. Requires a statement from doctor or nurse to accompany application for absentee ballot due to temporary disability. Bill status

SB #2521: Passed. Creates a Silver alert system. Bill status

SB #2595: Motion to reconsider entered. Bans all texting while driving. Bans drivers under the age of eighteen from using a cellphone while driving. Bill status

SB #2857: Passed. Bans hunting with a firearm near home without owner's permission. Bill status

SB #3097: Passed. Gives Department of Finance authority to lease for development the "Blind School Property" near Eastover. Bill status

Posted by Kingfish at 7:41 AM

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

HB#35....you're not serious? "If they are not married to each other"....

Okay, ok, BUT, tell me this, what if they are brother and sister? Hmmmmm?

February 11, 2010 at 9:51 AM
Anonymous said...

I cannot believe that "watching" someone in a public space is now stalking. What if you are at dinner and your ex shows up and looks right at you, do you call 911?

I thought stalking was following someone and placing them in fear for their physical harm. Its a needed law. I guess now, we best keep our eyes shut.

February 11, 2010 at 10:57 AM
Anonymous said...

And after further reading, your poll could fall under the "electronic" section of "harassment" and thus this blog too is stalking.

February 11, 2010 at 11:58 AM
stilettoGOP said...

Sure are lotta rules out there. Before you know it I won't be able to stalk inmates I want to sleep with by smuggling in novelty lighters anymore.

February 11, 2010 at 12:31 PM
Anonymous said...

HB #536 - good law. nursing homes are profit machines. they cut every corner imaginable, including nursing and other medical staff, and certainly cut the liability insurance corner. then, when inevitably your loved one dies of dehydration, urinary tract infection or sepsis from their stage 3, 4 or 5 bed sores, they have no insurance or 25k limits. all of the profit, none of the risk. all of the assets are diverted into their elaborate shell game. you would not let a contractor work on your house without insurance or a bond, so do not admit a loved one into a nursing home without liability insurance. it is a strong indicium of pitiful health care and you will find your loved one resting in their own waste before its over.

February 11, 2010 at 9:27 PM
Anonymous said...

SB #2026 - what a joke. what these hospitals want is a way to offset their liability when your father or mother dies because of medical incompetence. they will let you bleed to death and then charge you for the towels they used to clean up the mess. this law is a joke. if you think lawyers are crooks, meet a member of the board of one of the major hospitals in town. these hospitals will be exposed one day.

February 11, 2010 at 9:32 PM
Anonymous said...

Attempted murder is already a crime. Actually, any "attempt" to commit a crime is a crime; re: HB 273.

February 14, 2010 at 11:45 AM
Anonymous said...

It appears that some people will introduce anything as a proposed law just to get their name on a bill. It looks a whole lot like some of these folks are trying to justify their existance. What happened to the concept of less govt. and govt. by the people?

February 14, 2010 at 11:50 AM

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.