Tuesday's action at the Legislature:
HB #232: Tabled subject to recall. Bans sale of certain novelty lighters. Another protect us because we are stupid law. Bill status
HB #298: Motion to reconsider entered. Allows family of law enforcement personnel killed in the line of duty to keep officer's weapon. Bill status
HB #411: Passed as amended. Requires name of bonding company to be posted when used for probation. Bill status
HB #563: Tabled subject to call. Creates insurance policyholder's bill of rights. Bill status
HB #704: Passed. Authorizes release of sales and income tax info to DHS for those delinquent on child support. Bill status
HB #807: Passed committee. Implements guidelines for victims of identity theft to purge credit reports and have debt forgiven. Bill status
HB #837: Passed as ameneded. Requirees abstinence only or abstinence plus into curriculum. Amendment: requires social studies curriculum. Bill status
HB #852: Passed committee. Increase victim compensation by 50%. Bill status
HB #918: Motion to reconsider entered. Eminent domain reform. Bill status
HB #960: Passed. Option of 4- or 8- year drivers license. Bill status
HB #994: Passed. Require contracts to be written in large print. I'm not making this up. Bill status
HB #1070: Passed. Provide a hunting season for terminally ill children. Bill status
HB #1158: Passed. Allow municipalities of more than 10,000 to appoint one more municipal judge. Bill status
HB #1418: Read the third time. Allows cultural or civic centers to sell alcohol for special events. Bill status
SB #2034: Motion to reconsider entered. Restores "insanity" as a ground for divorce. Won't make that joke. Bill status
SB #2293: Motion to reconsider entered. Establishes charter schools. Bill status
SB #2767: Passed. Allows people to apply for voter registration online. Bill status
SB #3021: Passed as amended. Requires Chancery clerks to redact SSN's after July 1, 2010. Bill status
SB #3078: Passed. Changes length of service before teachers can receive retirement benefits. Bill status
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Read 'em and weep
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
- Presenting the Mississippi State Capitol (Video)
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- Jackson's water bond failure: The REST of the story.
- Time to return fire on Banks
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- Post-election thoughts
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- Jackson paying $4 million in fees
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- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
16 comments:
The novelty lighter bill actually has merit. Little kids are always grabbing for them on store counters because they think they're toys.
that doesn't mean that the bill has merit. that means that parents need to keep their kids from buying lighters, or keep their kids from going to c-stores by themselves.
Now that I think about it, I wish SB 2034 was around a few years ago, because she is/was "Bat Shit Crazy!"
Ta-da-dum...
8:44, in a perfect world, parents would protect their children better. But they don't. The thought of a young child accidently burning themselves or worse is horrifying. Here's the smart thing- don't make a freaking lighter look like a toy. I hate stupid laws for stupid parents too, but what I hate worse is children suffering. They didn't ask for stupid parents.
If lighters are going to look like toys, what's wrong with rat and insect poison being sold to look like chocolate bunnies? There are some things kids shouldn't mess with, fire and poison are two. What if a child accidently comes across a toy lighter, that a smart arent didn't even buy; the stupid parent next door did and this child found it.
Don't fret, everyone can probably order their dumbass lighter crap on line and get a better selection. Really, wish the stupid law haters would get together and do something about it instead of whine. Or maybe they have and are out there whining where it matters. It looks to me like the people who cared more about the hazards of this stuff did get together, and they have almost done something about it.
That was a completely infantile rant. We are for LESS government, fewer laws criminalizing behavior, not whining about some soccer-mom's inability to watch her kids. How about personal responsibility? I guess you are one of those who whines about the government not doing enough for you. Ask not.
11:41 you show great common sense (unusual for this state). The nitwit after you has never worked in a burn unit, signed a death certificate, or had to tell a parent their child is dead. Fortunately for us it looks like he will never have to worry about shouldering those responsibilities wither,
I think you mean 11:41am lacks the common sense to keep the instruments of death, aka lighters, away from children.
All hail the "gubment" to keep us safe.
11:41 you show great common sense (unusual for this state).
And yet you are still reading. Imagine that.
the last two pinheads should get a lawyer to explain the legal concept of "attractive nuisance" to them. You make a flaming object that looks like a child's toy, you pay the damages when a kid picks it up and burns the house down. KF usually attracts much smarter readers than these two.
I don't need a lawyer, the government, or you, to tell me that a "A LIGHTER IS DANGEROUS IN THE HANDS OF A CHILD." Take a parenting class and contribute to the economy instead of asking our government to legislate your inability to act in a commonsensical manner.
This isn't some outrageous government intrusion. There are lighters marketed that look like toys. Sure parents shouldn't let their kids play with lighters or go in stores alone, but what if some dumbass drops one and your kid picks it up.
Look moron. Teach your kid not to play with lighters.
Should we ban skateboards? Should we incarcerate parents who don't force their children to wear helmets when they ride their bikes through the neighborhood? How about Nerf weapons. Don't they encourage children to shoot at people? Maybe we should criminalize rocks. Kids are told over and over again not to throw rocks but damn if they don't still throw them at people and property with too often bad results. Can I come into your house and make sure you have your guns properly stored and locked? Can your children turn on the burners on your stove?
You are right. KF usually attracts much smarter readers than yourself.
ANY LIGHTERS, I don't care if it looks like a freakin' blow pop. Don't play with it. And keep sugar away from your children, it contributes to obesity, poor teeth. Maybe we need to outlaw candy that looks appetizing because under your warped idea of government, most children will become obese and develop poor hygiene. Oh wait, they already have developed in this manner. I don't blame the government, I blame poor parenting. As was said before. Go take a class if you can't teach your children right from wrong, yes from no, to light or not to light.
HB #298: Motion to reconsider entered. Allows family of law enforcement personnel killed in the line of duty to keep officer's weapon.
The link is to the "instrument of death: (novelty lighter) above.
I understand the concept of "attractive nuisance" and that 1) you can't keep your eyeballs on a child 24/7 and 2)that children have to be able to understand what you're telling them.
But, I'll admit, being of advanced age, I do wonder how I and all of my childhood peers survived in houses that weren't childproofed, had no seat belts much less car seats, no helmets,had medicine bottles and other chemicals around that could be easily opened, our parents all smoked , we played sandlot sports without adults around,etc.,etc. It's just a miracle we all lived to adulthood and all of us are still alive and well. We musta been an incredibly lucky bunch...
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