Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Don't ________ and drive

Want to read something funny? This lawsuit by Nationwide Insurance has some pretty funny details.

Posted by Kingfish at 9:19 AM

16 comments:

KaptKangaroo said...

Too funny. So the insurance company wants to deny based on partial nudity? That seems to be a reach. Good luck proving she was anything but maybe a little warm and chose to remove some of her clothing.

November 11, 2009 at 9:39 AM
Anonymous said...

I'm sure they aren't referring Kappy solely to the partial nudity as a factor in the accident. Hint, hint.

November 11, 2009 at 10:38 AM
Paul Mitchell said...

Ewww, this is unfortunate.

November 11, 2009 at 11:18 AM
Anonymous said...

Julius must not have been adventurous.

November 11, 2009 at 12:13 PM
Kingfish said...

She's married?

November 11, 2009 at 3:03 PM
Anonymous said...

Formerly.

November 11, 2009 at 4:34 PM
Kingfish said...

Its pretty funny.

November 12, 2009 at 9:36 AM
Autogyro said...

Well, it would be funny except it almost killed poor old Henry Fox. Hell, they didn't think he was going to make it there for awhile.

November 12, 2009 at 11:00 AM
Kingfish said...

Duly noted Auto and my apologies to him and his family.

November 12, 2009 at 11:06 AM
Anonymous said...

Did you get Exhibit A Kingfish?

November 12, 2009 at 11:35 AM
Anonymous said...

Henry is most likely disabled for life. I do see the humor in it all, however...Henry is massively messed up after this wreck. Capital M massive. Hopefully, he can recover at least some of his former abilities, but it will be a long, long road of recovery for him.

November 12, 2009 at 3:17 PM
Anonymous said...

Such is the nature of our beast.

Richard was buzzed and hot to go. Susan was aroused and sowing oats outside of Julius' skill set, Henry gets unfairly hosed and Nationwide wants to confirm that they aren't responsible for accident injuries caused by moving vehicle sexcapades.

Then people complain to Congress about the exclusionary complexities of homeowners insurance policies and Barney Frank claim he wouldn't recognize marijuana if it was rolled up in a big ass spliff and passed to him by his lover.

November 12, 2009 at 4:39 PM
Anonymous said...

should it not be a question for the jury to decide. and I thought that homeowners liability followed you and was not exclusive to the home?

November 12, 2009 at 7:55 PM
Anonymous said...

should it not be a question for the jury to decide. and I thought that homeowners liability followed you and was not exclusive to the home?

Absolutely. If I'm half undressed, giving the driver of the vehicle a blow job or a heap of tongue, we crash and hurt somebody badly my damn homeowner's insurance should cover that type of stupidity each and every time!

November 12, 2009 at 8:18 PM
Anonymous said...

What a great thing to tell a teenage driver.

Junior or Missy:

Please drive safely but know that if you engage in sex acts while driving and get your dumb ass in a serious pickle Mom and Dad's homeowners insurance will cover the damages and physical injuries.

By all means explore your sexuality because we'll allow a jury to decide which type of sex behavior in a moving vehicle is acceptable and which isn't. I mean, how else are the blood sucking attorneys going to make a living if we don't condone your being stupid?

What? What is that you say? Susan Travis Ridgway is pushing 50 years of age?

Well, our rules still stand. The attorney's still need a payday. Just don't get pregnant!

November 12, 2009 at 8:26 PM
Anonymous said...

Sad story. When did Susan and Julius divorce? Could the insurance policy be held in both of their names? If so, Julius could be at risk, no?

November 18, 2009 at 9:22 PM

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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).

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Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.

In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS.