Wednesday, December 10, 2025

Robert St. John: The Last Strand of Tinsel

Author’s Note:
Robert St. John’s Mississippi Christmas hit the shelves a couple of weeks ago. It’s a collection of recipes and stories from the Christmases, the people, and the neighborhood that shaped me— and the ones still unfolding. The piece below didn’t make the final edit, not because it fell short, but because its heart shows up in several other places throughout the book. Even so, it has become a steady part of my readings on the book-signing tour.


Some families grow up with postcard Christmases—crackling fires, golden retrievers by the hearth, snowflakes on the St. Augustine. Then there was us. Our holidays were about as “Hallmark” as a ham sandwich on white bread.

We didn’t have much money, and we didn’t have a dad in the house. What we did have was love, a dozen casseroles, and a mother who believed in Christmas like preachers believe in Sunday.

My mother was a public-school art teacher—creative, underpaid, and armed with enough oil paint, pottery clay, and turpentine to rebuild Bethlehem from scratch. She didn’t have a budget for fancy decorations, so she leaned on imagination and child labor. My brother and I were her two-man decorating crew, compensated with cookies and guilt.

Which brings us to the tinsel.

Icicles, as we called them, were sacred. Every year my mother bought boxes of them by the gross. My family believed in tinsel the way Methodists believe in covered-dish suppers: not optional, and the more the better.

My brother and I would stand in front of the tree, hurling handfuls of icicles with the precision of a Mardi Gras float crew. The goal wasn’t beauty—it was density. If you could still see green, you were failing.

Our across-the-street neighbor, Jimmy McKenzie, had an entirely different philosophy. Jimmy placed his icicles on one at a time, straight as law, as if the whole neighborhood was grading him on neatness. His kids would sneak over to our house for a hit of chaos. “Can we throw some with y’all?” they’d whisper, and my mother, Christmas outlaw that she was, would hand them fistfuls like contraband. Within minutes, our living room looked like Liberace had moved in for the season.

It was a glorious, glittering fire hazard.

Looking back, it was the perfect symbol of my childhood Christmases—messy, homemade, and full of love that wasn’t worried about getting it right, just getting it real.

Our home on Bellewood Drive wasn’t the kind of place you’d see in a Rockwell-inspired snow globe. For starters, there was no snow. If we ever woke up to a white Christmas, it was because Hattiesburg decided to pretend for a morning. Ten houses, one dead end, and a neighborhood watch system powered entirely by gossip—but that little street had more Christmas spirit per square foot than Rockefeller Center.

There was Larry Foote, who roasted pecans so perfectly they didn’t last long enough to cool. A banker by trade, he turned into a pecan-centric master chef every December. His salty pecans were everywhere—you couldn’t walk into a room without finding a bowl of them within reach. His wife, Barbara Jane, perfected the cinnamon roll.

Across the street lived Mary Virginia McKenzie— wife of the fastidious icicle specialist— whose orange sweet rolls were the unofficial currency of Bellewood Drive. The whole neighborhood knew when her oven was on. That smell made you believe in second breakfasts.

Next door lived the Webb sisters—three old maid retired schoolteachers with matching bouffants—whose gingerbread never made it to Christmas Day. They also handed out fruitcake cookies to every child in the neighborhood. That’s how I learned what disappointment tasted like.

Mom was the holiday general holding this whole operation together. She was raising two boys on a public school art teacher’s salary that could barely feed one Cocker Spaniel, but she never let that slow her down.

She never talked about what we didn’t have—she just made what we did have enough. I never realized how broke we were because everything we needed always showed up—usually in Pyrex.

If you ran out of sugar, someone had extra. If your lights blew out, neighborhood men appeared with ladders and more confidence than wiring knowledge. Christmas wasn’t just a holiday; it was a community sport.






Every kitchen on Bellewood Drive glowed warm and smelled like butter and something frying that probably shouldn’t be. The air was thick with cinnamon, bacon grease, and cigarette smoke—the official scent of a Hattiesburg December.

Even the noise told a story—laughter from back yards, a dog barking, and somebody calling everyone to the table.

When I grew up and opened restaurants— all a few blocks from my childhood home—Christmas changed shape. The season meant payroll stress, late-night closing shifts on the line, and staff parties that occasionally ended with a visit from the police. But even then, the old light found a way through—a regular guest dropping off a tin of cookies, a server handing me a handmade card that said, “Merry Christmas, Boss. Thanks for the job.”

These days, my house looks nothing like the home I grew up in. The lights all work. The turkey is moist (thank you, brining). The mashed potatoes are from scratch because I can finally afford the luxury of lumps. But when the family piles in, the noise settles into a sound I’ve known my whole life. There’s still too much food, too many opinions, and always, always love.

Mom’s been gone for over a year, and most of those neighbors have traded casseroles for glory. But I still make Larry Foote’s pecans. My bakery bakes Mary Virginia’s sweet rolls. And sometimes, when I dig through old decorations, I find a single strand of tinsel wrapped around one of my great-grandmother’s handmade felt ornaments, still hanging on, same as the memories.

Back then, tinsel was just something shiny to throw on a tree. Now it feels more like proof we were doing our best to make things bright.

My wife prefers minimalism—“tasteful,” she calls it. Her first reaction to my family’s tinsel tradition was pure horror. She said it looked like Elvis had been in charge. 

I took it as a compliment.

For years, we fought the Great Icicle War—she’d hide the tinsel, I’d find it. She’d remove it strand by strand; I’d replace it when she wasn’t looking. Our kids grew up Switzerland—neutral but amused, sneaking on a few strands when she left the room just to keep the peace. In the end, the wife won. The tree’s gone upscale—Radko ornaments and all. I don’t know anything about the Radko guy, but whoever he is he’s a little too proud of his product which is still no match for my great-grandmother’s sequins and thread.

In my mind’s eye I can still see my old street—porch lights glowing, voices carrying down the pavement, and the smell of something sweet in the air. The world felt smaller then, but somehow fuller.

If you ask me, Christmas doesn’t need snow, or pricy ornaments, or even working lights. It just needs a place like Bellewood Drive—where the food was honest, the neighbors were close, and love was just part of the block.

And I still believe that somewhere, under those old loblolly pines, that street is glowing. Maybe not on a map. But in the kind of light you carry with you the rest of your life. The kind of light that first lit up a manger — simple, warm, and full of hope.

Ours started on Bellewood Drive — a handful of houses, a mountain of casseroles, and enough love to make up for the rest.

And not a snowflake in sight.

Onward



Bayou Bacon & Cheddar Spread


Serves 6 to 8

I can lay waste to a block of cream cheese with pepper jelly and crackers in a matter of minutes. It’s a weakness. No matter how hard I try to exercise self-control, I always find myself standing over the plate at a cocktail party, making it disappear without even thinking. This spread hits the same notes, but with a smoky, savory punch that’s hard to beat. It’s become a go-to for Christmas parties, and if you’re smart, you’ll double the recipe because it’ll be gone before you know it. It’s best when made a day in advance—giving all the flavors time to mingle.

Preheat oven to 325° F

6 slices thick-cut bacon, 1/4-inch dice
4 ounces pecan pieces
1 tablespoon dehydrated onion
8 ounces cream cheese, softened
10 ounces sharp Cheddar, shredded (about 2 1/2 cups), room temperature
1-4 ounce jar diced pimentos, drained
1/3 cup chives, chopped
1 teaspoon Creole seasoning
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon garlic powder

Place the bacon in a medium-sized skillet over low-medium heat. Cook the bacon, stirring frequently until the bacon is crispy. Pour the bacon into a strainer and collect the bacon fat if desired for other uses. Pat the bacon with a paper towel to remove any excess fat.

While the bacon is cooking, spread the pecan pieces out on a baking sheet pan. Place the pecans in the oven and roast for eight minutes. Remove and cool.

Also, while the bacon is cooking, place the dehydrated onion in a small cup or bowl. Cover the onions with 1/4 cup of boiling water. Soak the onions for 10 minutes. Drain and squeeze out any excess water.

Place the cream cheese, 1 1/2 cups of the Cheddar cheese, half of the bacon, pecans, onions, pimentos, and chives into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, if you have one. If not, regular beaters will work. Sprinkle in the Creole seasoning, pepper, salt, and garlic powder. Mix on low speed until well combined.

Combine the remaining bacon, pecans, onions, Cheddar cheese, pimentos, and chives. Shape the cheese mixture into a ball and roll it in the garnish ingredients. Serve immediately or wrap tightly in plastic and store overnight.

Allow the spread to sit out for 30 minutes before serving if made in advance. Pair with Wheat Thins or your favorite crackers.

  


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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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