Wednesday, May 3, 2023

Robert St. John: The Curious Case of a Sliding Door Monopoly Game

 AMSTERDAM— A sliding door moment is a seemingly inconsequential action that alters the trajectory of future events. I am sitting in a bakery at 8:30 a.m. in the city center of Amsterdam, due to a board game. That is a sliding door moment. There’s a theory that the simple act of missing a train or a bus can alter the course of the rest of one’s life. This example is illustrated brilliantly in the film, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The movie displays the principle in a montage of events— one as simple as a shoelace breaking— to effectively illustrate the concept. If any of the seemingly insignificant events had not happened, the course of Daisy’s life would have gone in an extremely different direction. Brad Pitt’s narration as Button effectively describes the chain of events that led to Daisy, a ballet dancer, getting hit by a taxi which ended her dancing career.

 The sliding door moment that has me eating a koffiebroodje pastry with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice in a bakery in Amsterdam occurred over a Monopoly game. It’s true. If I follow the sliding-door trail all the way back to why I am sitting here today, it’s evident that it all started with the long-standing Parker Brothers board game with miniature houses, hotels, play money and get out of jail free cards (I was always the race car, by the way).

Here's the abbreviated version— my wife and kids gave me a Beatles-themed Monopoly game for Christmas in 2009. While we were playing the game sometime between Christmas and New Year’s I looked at my daughter and it struck me that I should change my longtime plan of the family visiting one European country for a month every summer, to just doing it all at once and the four of us going to Europe and visiting 17 countries and 72 cities in six months. 

Over the next two years I worked on that plan. In August of 2011 we flew to Sweden and bought a Volvo. After several countries in several weeks, we ended up in Tuscany in a villa I found online owned by Annagloria and Enzo Corti. Once I returned from that trip and was on a promotional tour for the book “An Italian Palate,” people started asking if I’d be interested in taking them overseas to eat in the places I had written about, meet the people I was continuing to write about, and to see the beautiful places my buddy Wyatt Waters had painted for the book.

 

I made a Facebook post announcing a one-off tour to Tuscany. It filled in an afternoon. On that first tour a guide that was supposed to lead the group through Siena cancelled at the last minute. Annagloria said, “I know a lady who lives here in Tavarnelle who a certified guide for Siena.”

I said, “See if she’s available.” Annagloria called Marina Mengelberg, a Dutch woman living in Tuscany. Marina led our group masterfully through Siena. She was well versed, engaging, and charming. She did such a good job, and the guests loved her so much, that we used her in San Gimignano, too. Eventually we started using her in Florence, and when Waters retired from co-hosting these trips, she stepped in.

 

That original tour ended up not being a one-off. There was a waiting list. Then the waiting list grew a waiting list. Before long I had hosted several groups in Tuscany. Those guests started asking, “Where are we going next?” In my opinion, Venice is the most unique city in the world. Bologna is the food capital of Italy, and Milan is beautiful around Christmas, so I led a few tours to those cities. Again, they asked, “Where are we going next?” The most logical choices seemed to point southward so I led three tours through Rome, the Amalfi Coast, and Naples.

 

I visited those cities during the original family trip. But I needed some help panning the Rome-Amalfi details. I asked Marina if she had any contacts in the Rome travel industry. She hooked me up with a guy named Jesse Marinus, a Dutchman living in Rome who works for a travel service. He joined us on that tour and— like his Tuscan-Dutch counterpart— was engaging, charming, funny, and hard-working. The guests loved him.

 

Soon, the guests who traveled to Tuscany, Venice, Bologna, Milan, Rome, Amalfi, and Naples with us began asking, “Where are we going next?” Spain had been my second favorite country on the long trip with the family, so I made that the next destination. Jesse worked with me on that trip. While touring Spain we were with people who had been on multiple trips with us. They all knew Jesse and Marina (sidenote: AP Style requires the last name to be used when a proper name is repeated. But, like Elvis, Cher, Madonna, and Bono, Marina and Jesse are travel rockstars, they only need one name). 

 

I’m not sure how the original idea of a trip to Holland and Belgium came about, but to my recollection it was sometime during one of our Dutch friend’s trips to Mississippi. Marina and her two children visited in 2019, as Annagloria and Enzo had done a few years earlier. Jesse was with us in Mississippi for a couple of weeks last year. It was nice having them in our homeland. I thought it would be a great idea for all the people who have travelled with us to be on their home turf. 

 

What is it with the Dutch? Everyone I’ve met from this area are great people. I had only been here briefly on that 2011 trip. I am about to meet up with 24 travelers from the American South, who landed yesterday. Out of those 24, only four haven’t traveled with me before. For some it will be their sixth trip in the last six years. 

 

Those guests have no idea that if only one thing had happened differently, if Parker Brothers hadn’t licensed a Beatles Monopoly game, or my wife hadn’t bought that Beatles Monopoly game as a Christmas gift, or I would have stuck with the original plan of different countries for a month each year, or if I had chosen one of the other 22 Tuscan villas I was researching, or if the original Siena guide wouldn’t have cancelled that day, or if Marina had suggested another Rome contact, we wouldn’t be here about to spend 10 days with people who have become my close friends traveling through the Netherlands and Belgium.

 

In the end, Button got Daisy, and hundreds of Americans got Marina and Jesse.

 

Onward.





Pickled Zucchini


2 cups              Zucchini, cut into 2” batons
1 cup               White vinegar
½ cup              Water
2 TB                Sugar
1 TB                Kosher salt
½ tsp               Crushed red pepper
1 each              Fresh garlic clove, thinly sliced

Pack the zucchini batons tightly into a sterilized 1-pint wide-mouth glass jar. (To sterilize, cover the jar and lid in water in a pot and boil for 5 minutes.)

In a small pot, combine the remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Immediately pour over the jar full of zucchini, leaving about ½“ from the lip. Make sure you stir right before pouring so the crushed red pepper and garlic get into the jar. Discard any excess liquid. 

While still hot, tighten the lid and let cool completely at room temperature. Once cooled, refrigerate
.




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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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