Monday, July 11, 2022

Who Will Make the Cut?

"Many call but few are chosen", The Book of Bear, 5:15 

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ole Miss, Miss. State and Vandy have got to feel soooooo good they don't have to audition for the big show. Are they lucky or what?

Oh yeah. Mizzou...better to be lucky than good!

Anonymous said...

You ain't kidding @3:29. OM and State ought to be on their knees everyday giving thanks that they were two of the founding members.

Anonymous said...

3:29: Didn't Ole Miss make it to the Sugar Bowl last January?

Anonymous said...

Ole Miss won ten games last year didn't they? Just won a natty in baseball? Green ain't yall's color boys.

Anonymous said...

6:08 and 7:46 Imagine how impressive your modest football success will be when OM has to compete on equal footing with the budgets of Texas, A&M, LSU, Oklahoma, Florida Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia etc. When they fly their gymnastics team and swimming teams and all the rest to Oxford for an SEC meet we will be impressed. Until then, take the welfare check and smile.

Anonymous said...

I have no idea what 8:40 is saying, but I’m pretty should it’s snide.

Anonymous said...

Not an Ole Miss guy, but I believe the Rebels have very competitive against the Al, LSU's, GA and FL when you compare budgets. I'm talking about the big 3 sports, not the "slinging Natalie through the air" stuff.

Anonymous said...

They beat Tennessee, LSU, and A&M last year. As I say, green ain't your color.

Anonymous said...

Who is the school at the end, with the "E" shirt?
Elon?

Anonymous said...

These shorts make my days. Great.

Anonymous said...

4:33 It's the ability and willingness to spend multi millions on the "slinging Natalie through the air" stuff that separates the super powers from the so-called mid-majors who need not apply for the SEC or Big Ten in 2022. If only the "Big Three" sports counted the Houston, Louisville, Memphis, Texas Tech,
SMU, Miami etc. types would all be in line looking for the big payday. Obviously if the SEC all started over today Ole Miss, MSU, and Vandy would be in that same line. Years ago, Lady Luck gave those three a big wet kiss!
(Plenty of tongue)

Anonymous said...

The whole state should be happy that we were at the original meeting for the SEC and not out of town. If it was today we have zero TV market and therefore only in the Sunbelts Conference. Wonder how Tulane, Swanee and Georgia Tech feels?
I for one am getting tired of this NIL and transfer stuff. Feel sorry for the coaches, you have to recruit all Spring long in Football and baseball thinks they have teams set and along comes the baseball draft in July. You can't put together a team and keep them for 3 years now.


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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


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Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

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