What is the attraction of 30A? A comedian attempts to explain why it is the hotspot of the Florida panhandle. See if you recognize yourself in the video. Enjoy.
Sunday, May 30, 2021
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
25 comments:
I just saw this a few days ago and started laughing before it started. Just get rid of the 30A stickers. But wasn’t this developed by some of Jackson’s local talent ?
Funny. I have always thought it humorous that people who travel to the Redneck Riviera think they are really fancy!
“We are going to Florida.”
No. You are going to Lower Alabama.
Go to Ft Lauderdale or Naples if you want real Florida you hayseeds!
" Go to Ft Lauderdale or Naples if you want real Florida"
Not all of us are fluent in Spanish.
Plus, not everyone visiting south Florida is impressed by a bunch of drunk neck'id girls taking over the kiddy pool at a Ft Lauderdale Holiday Inn Express ... while filming the next episode of "Girls Gone Wild".
(or whatever it's called in 2021)
It's too damn hot in Florida.
I believe I'll pass on subscribing to this condescending tool's channel.
I've driven through 30a once in my life. I'm no apologist for 30a. But this clown's hubris is way over the top.
Seriously, Fort Lauderdale? The white sand Gulf beaches are much nicer than the Atlantic beaches. plus Fort Lauderdale is a huge urban area, and way overcrowded.
I just came to 30A on vacation for the first time and every word of this video is spot on. Well done.
Always thought the 30A stickers were the family's average IQ.
30A has the best beaches on the planet. I’ll take it
'See if you recognize yourself in this video'
'I believe this is you in this video'
We all get those bullshit fake messages on facebook. Warning: Never open one.
7:02- ...says the guy that has never been south of Daytona.
7:49- Touché!
I left south Florida in 1979, was getting so crowded. A place where old Yankees from NJ and NY go to die. Sad I didn't enjoy it more since I am rural hillbilly Yankee.
Florida is a great place to retire. Especially if you like blue hair, cinder-block sidewalks and poodles on rhinestone leashes (or sittin' on a titty in a Volvo).
The Yankees from NY/NJ/CT/PA are also moving into N. Florida as S. Florida is too crowed, and like all "blue" cities/counties, it's riddled with crime. I predict that in 10-20 years Florida will become a blue state.
Libs/Yankees are like locusts.
I'm a simpleton. Please enlighten me to what 30A is, & where it's located?
I live in Pearl.
Attn 9:29 AM We already knew you lived in Pearl!
The absolute best place in FL for a natural, untouched beach with no buildings is offered to military at: Had an awesome vacation there.
The Eglin Beach Park is located on Okaloosa Island just west of the Destin Bridge and is open during summer months to all DoD personnel with proper ID—all military ranks, retirees, family members, civilian personnel (including all federal employees regardless of duty station) and federal facility contractors—and their guests.
The facility features 4 large pavilions, central deck area, 2 sets of restrooms with showers, and direct access to the Gulf.
For all DOD workers and military, this beach is just stunning. A great place for photos for family and a beautiful day out away from the hustle and bustle of FL tourist. Felt like we had the beach pretty much to ourselves. It was so wonderful, I could not believe our military benefits afforded us this vacation. We packed a cooler and spent all day there and several other days of our vaca. We shopped on Eglin AFB and stayed at a nearby military recreation center for low dollars. Stayed one week and ended staying for a few more days. I hate crowded beaches and we could drive up here, park, roll our cooler in and have so much fun. Going back this year.
Attn 9:29 https://www.discover30a.com/
The 30A name comes from an actual road in South Walton County (County Road 30A) that spans roughly 20 miles along the Florida Panhandle coastline. The area can be found in the middle of the stretch between Destin and Panama City.
The hate is strong today. It’s like Facebook in here. Guy from Pearl, it’s a few newly developed beach towns for middle to high middle income families who want to be included in The Who’s who of metro areas in the Deep South. Beautiful town and beaches.
Oh and to the douche at 10:15am Pearl may have an image problem, but it has been a great home for my business for over 25 years.
12:59, I am sure your business is booming. Especially since the double-wide was invented!
Quick fact: Pearl Fire Dept doesn’t have a ladder truck because they don’t make two-story mobile homes! :)
Another quick fact: Did you know toothpaste was invented in Pearl? If not, it would be called TEETHpaste!
All jokes guys. Just jokes!
Have a good afternoon!
In response to the response of 7:49 and 9:19. I have actually been to Fort Lauderdale, spent several days at a conference at a top-rated resort. A great facility. Nevertheless, Fort Lauderdale is a large, overcrowded city with a beach in South Florida. Great. Nice beach. It's a beach. I prefer the white sand beach, and the sand dunes are nice too. None of that in Fort Lauderdale.
I thought the video was pretty funny, not to far off the mark in many ways, but the Gulf beaches are still better. And and before you get all snobby and snooty again, I've been to some of the finest beaches in the world, including several in Hawa'ii, and Fiji, as well as Nice, Cannes, etc. Been to Jamaica, too, but not very fond of the place.
the entire area between pensacola and 30a is bumper to bumper traffic from memorial day to the end of labor day weekend. its a total wear out. the sport fishing there has gone to hell with all the overfishing. creel and size limits along with seasons on just about all gamefish. its no longer worth it . just one more tourist trap. 10$ beers in the nice bars and 18$ glasses of wine. 2 hour waits for dinner in nice restaurants.
remember folks it only summer there basically from june till end of september. the rest of the year its seasonal and it gets cold from time to time.
only the carribbean offers perpetual summer.
if you don't believe me , go take a dip in the gulf off 30a in january.
This comedian committed the cardinal sin: he wasn't funny.
30A used to be the place you could go and get away from the rednecks, hillbilly's & coonasses in Gulf Shores and Orange Beach. They are slowly finding it and finding a way to get there.
"Aly's Beach, where the 1% were gentrified by the .01%" Now that's funny.
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