Jackson Jambalaya

This just gets sicker and sicker. Someone is going to be found at the end of a rope before it's over.

interesting article.... it just smacks of

'looking the other way'

'plausible deniability'

'cover up'

'legal posturing'

'incompetence'

'institutional protection'

It is simply disingenuous for everyone to simply put blinders on and act innocent. Everytime
someone claims that they 'legally'
or 'technically' didnt do anything wrong is galling.

I don't know the religious preferences of people on this board (not sure it matters), but I read something last night about this whole thing that I thought was very wise. It was a transcript of what a minister with the Penn State Campus Crusade for Christ said at one of their group meetings about the whole thing. The informal title is "Love Notices Wet Hair," contrasting how the mother of one victim reacted when she saw something "off" with her son (that he had wet hair) against the complete lack of reaction by authorities who KNEW abuse was happening.

I don't think you have to be of any particular faith to agree that we all have an obligation to care for children enough to take action when we see something horrible happening to them.

--

2011
Tim Henderson|2:32 PM CT

Love Notices Wet Hair

Jesus said the most fundamental responsibility we have is to love God and love our neighbor as we love ourselves. In light of this he was asked, "Who is my neighbor?" which is another way to ask, "Whom am I obligated to love?"

At Penn State, we have been asking questions about obligation all week. Who is legally obligated to report sexual abuse of a child, and to whom must they report it? Who is morally obligated to report sexual abuse of a child, and to whom must they report it? Is there a difference between moral obligation and legal obligation?

First, though, consider two of the victims described in the grand jury's findings in the case against former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky. According to the report a graduate assistant saw a 10-year-old boy (victim two) pressed against a shower wall being raped. The assistant then left, eventually called his boss, and reported what he had seen, just as he was legally obligated to do.

In contrast, when victim six returned home from a visit with Sandusky, his mom noticed he had wet hair. On the basis of that small detail alone she was concerned and learned that they had showered together. Immediately this mom called the police, cooperated in a wiretap, confronted Sandusky to his face, interrogated him about the details of showering with her son, grilled him about the effect he had on her son, and rebuked him, telling him never to shower with another boy again.

What's the difference between these cases?

Love.

The difference is the mom loved her son. She loved her little boy and was moved to outrage by the simple fact of his wet hair. She moved aggressively. She wasn't fulfilling a legal obligation, and she wasn't fulfilling a moral obligation. Obligation wasn't the issue.

Love is the issue. The shame engulfing Penn State is about a deficiency of love. The chief responsibility of our life is loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and loving our neighbors as much as and in the same manner that we love ourselves. "Who is my neighbor?" is the wrong question. According to Jesus, the right question is, "Am I a neighbor?" It's not, "Who must I love?" It's, "Am I one who loves?"

To the extent that fact penetrates your heart, it will transform you and make you love better. It will give you ... love that moves to protect. That moves into danger. A love that doesn't measure obligation but suffers so the beloved won't. The kind of love that would notice wet hair and respond immediately.

When Sandusky goes to prison, he is gonna find out real quick what "horsing around" in the shower really means!!

Mr. Sandusky, you might want to stock up on soap on a rope. God forbit you drop a regular bar in the prison showers. Karma.

That piece on 'wet hair' is touching but as a parent myself,
the boy's mood and behavior probably set off as many alarms.
But still, a good read.

The "wet hair" opinion presented by the "Campus Crusade for Christ minister is very good.

Say what you will about religion and religious tangents and connotations. But, go no further than Catholicism. That's the model these people followed. 'Furrow your brow at the deed, quickly insulate the perp from view, put in place the necessary barriers to investigation, barricade all parties, plan the perfect plan for denial and retreat, inform all similarly programmed Catholics, meet secretely on six or more occasions, take no notes, carry out daily activities as usual, target any problematic players for destruction (missing D.A.), protect the institution at all costs, deny when appropriate, thank your lucky fucking stars when a year has passed and celebrate at the passage of five and ten years. Relax and hope for the best. If caught, scramble, lie and put your possessions in your wife's name. Phone the Cardinal. Send a check. Expect exhoneration.'

If my son came home with wet hair, I would immediately see that as odd and ask questions, with the assumption that there would be a logical and innocent explanation. I would be just like that mom after hearing that my young son took shower. Most boys at 10-12 don't decide to take a shower on their own. They have moms that TELL them to take a shower. And, the boy was coming home the same day--and could shower at home. I would be as suspicious as hell.

I mean no disrespect, but I'm curious if 5:35 is a mom or a dad. Mom's are pretty keen on details like this--for one reason is that they are most likely the parent that has to fight with their sons to bathe on a daily basis. The wet hair would be spotted immediately. The idea that he took a shower would send out an alarm. The mood and demeanor of the child would take a while to come out.

I'm a mom, with a son and a daughter, now in their mid to early teens. When the kids were younger, I was much more worried about the possibility of my son coming into contact with a pedophile than I was for my daughter. I worried for her too, but there were/are so many reports of serial child molesters abusing boys, and more boys, and more boys.

There is no way in hell I would allow my 10 year old girl to go on an outing with an adult male. Sandusky preyed upon boys with single moms--single moms that wished for a positive male role model to be in their sons' lives. Sandusky knew exactly who he was targeting with "at risk youths"--boys with vulnerable single moms that wanted the best for their boys and boys that craved attention from a positive male role model. Sandusky probably planned the "Second Mile" deal for "grooming" boys many years before he put the plan into action. Fucking freak! They need to fry Paterno and the rest of the Penn State Pro-Pedophile SOBs.

This is 5:35 and I am a dad of grown children, no disrespect taken.


Oh my God,,,,, just now hearing similar story from an assist coach of Syracuse basketball team ,,, horrible

This is 5:35 again,,, what I mean about the boy's behavior is that I believe his mood, actions, look in his eyes, tone of his voice, body language would send as many signals as simply 'wet hair' . No doubt, the mom was alerted by some things unusual and out of ordinary.

Hey 5:35! Glad you took no offense, as I did not mean to attack you. I guessed you were a dad--not a mom. Again, no disrespect, as dad's are extremely important and add contribute to raising their children in a way that is unique and crucial to the child--just as moms have their unique contribution.

Out of curiosity.. Who was the parent (you or the mom) that tackled the daily bathing issue with your kids?

One other thing that would alert me as a mom is that up to 12 years old my son did not like to (and had a bit of fear) with taking showers--water pouring over you, getting in your eyes, fear of not being able to breathe, etc. He took baths. If I heard that he took a shower at the age same age as the victim, I would be doubly suspicious.

Another truly sad aspect of all of this is that Sandusky targeted boys raised in home environments in which single mom's were the Head-of-Household. A loving father's unique perspective of their children's moods and behavior over time-- would not be available to Sandusky's target of single moms. As a mom (and I am a single/divorced mom), I don't know how it is to grow up as a boy. I'm probably not as keen as you in the slight changes in behavior of a boy.

We gotta go with the alarms we have as instinct. Those alarms will be different for every parent--mom or dad. Yet, I would bet you all the tea in China that your children would never be a victim of Sandusky's. He pegged/groomed boys that had no loving father figure in their lives.

As I read your thoughtful response , I can appreciate the fact that the mother naturally has the special maternal role that a father could never fill. To answer your question about bathtime, my wife led the charge but I was always there participating one way or another. My utmost respect to you and other single mom's who raise children.

My hope is that what happened at Penn St will start a chain reaction of other victims able to find the courage to speak out and put an end to pedophiles where ever and who ever they are.

I guess I should clarify even further what I mean about the other signs besides wet hair because I am not speaking of gradual mood changes that an extended period of abuse might trigger. I am talking about the son's behavior that day,,,, the instant that he walked in the room. Wet hair or not,,, to have something some adult man touching ,or worse , would I believe trigger a perceptable change and all I am suggesting is that I believe the mother had other compelling clues besides the wet hair. I think its just as likely that the son came in with his eyes down or spoke differently or something.

Let's face it, guys. Moms are more perceptive and in tune with the children than we are. That's the way it's supposed to be. Unfortunately for the moms in the Penn State tragedy, they were also mostly single, which is the hardest thing in the world to be. They were mostly middle or lower income, which would make it harder for them to hire a lawyer to pursue any kind of civil action. They probably had other kids to worry about, and Coach Sandusky the Hero was a welcome presence. If these allegations are true, this man is a monster of epic proportions. Bill Billingsley

10:04, I also hope that the events at Penn State will help other victims everywhere to gather the courage to come forth, but I am also concerned about liars trying to make a quick buck off the school in the frenzy that this has caused. I am watching the Syracuse situation very closely. One accuser, absolutely no corroboration from anyone else, yet a veteran coach is on the hot seat. Severe penalties need to be extracted from false accusers or this is going to be a mess. BB

The comments about a parent's "radar" for strange signs and behaviors are interesting. I posted the story because, as someone's who's not a parent, I still believe I ought to love kids enough to intervene on their behalf. I might not ever have the instincts of a parent, but it doesn't take much instinct to KNOW that when you find an adult raping a 10-year old, you REMOVE THE CHILD FROM THE SITUATION AND GET HIM TO A DOCTOR.

If I were a parent, I would hope that other adults would have enough love and concern for my kids that they would intervene for them.

Any society or organization that discourages or punishes protection of defenseless children is evil, in my opinion. I believe the point the Campus Crusade minister was trying to make is that the love people have in their hearts is what enables them to stand up.

I hope and pray that if I ever came across a situation like the one in the Penn State shower I would have the love AND balls needed to step in.

You are dealing with a Cult-like environment. And the air of protection that surrounds a Cult. Yes people, Football Communities can be a Cult.

I don't understand the question about 'who handled bathing issues'. When we brought my daughter home from the hospital when she was born, my wife and mother told me my first assignment was to give her a bath. I admit to being uncomfortable and they probably knew I would be and that's why they insisted. I needed to learn that lesson and not shy away from that part of parenting. But I certainly did not bathe my daughter after the age of two, I'm sure. Or my son for that matter.

There are band directors and scout leaders all over this state and country who are guilty of the same sins as this Sandusky puke. They need to be exposed as well. I guess when I was in school we didn't even know what queers were. Naive at that age for sure. Looking back, I'm sure we can all understand the lecherous behavior of a number of our mentors, leaders and so called role models.

There's a group of large creatures in hell with fourteen inch strap-ons just waiting for each of these creep assholes to 'come on dowwwwn'.

"Someone is going to be found at the end of a rope before it's over."

From your mouth to God's ears. I just hope it's not any of those kids Sandusky was allowed to violate.

However perceptive moms maybe and I'm one with grown children now, it's helpful to be aware of how pedophiles " groom" children.

Pedophiles place themselves in organizations where they will have contact with children.

They will pick out the most vulnerable child. One that is not popular with his or her peers or has a poor self image or has a physically or emotionally absent father or an abusive father or mother. He will initially give the child much longed for attention and make them feel " special" .
He will ingratiate himself with the parents and make the parent feel that he is a helpful, good person. He will shower gifts on the child. Physical touching begins slowly.
A parent should always be vigilant about adults who spend too much of their free social time with children. Healthy grown ups want to spend their time away from work primarily with friends, family and loved ones.
Single women should also be very wary of boyfriends who are overly interested in their children and seek alone time with those children or who are overly concerned with the children's social life. Pedophile's often seek out lonely women with children in their age preference.

Paranoia is not needed, but objective caution and letting your children know at an early age what appropriate physical boundaries are is important.

9:33 very well phrased and coherent post.
The main idea is that whether you are a single parent or a couple, we should always strive to be part of our children's lives.

MISTER Shadowfax........and I mean MISTER Shadowfax: I have been advocating for sometime for survivors of clergy sexual abuse. I thought I had read every description of clergy abuse known to man. Your words are remarkable! Could I use them?

Well, sure. I'm more accustomed on this site to being called an asshole or being told my opinions are shit. I had to scroll back up to see what you're talking about, but, if you're serious, be my guest. I spoke my mind and will await the abuse that will follow this post as well.

Changing the tone a little on this very serious issue ,
Sat Night Live managed a funny skit, ,,, type in

' SNL Devil Penn St' in the U Tube search.

I think you'll find this at the top of the board. I failed to find the humor in it. Seemed sort of second-rate to me. Maybe an intern put it together and has since been sent back to janitor detail.