Tuesday, November 23, 2010

New poll

Worst politician in Jackson metro area. Have at it.

76 comments:

Kingfish said...

Ok, Tim over Kennie?

At least Tim and Karl got E911 right.

Anonymous said...

Mother Mary is the worst "politician" simply because she isn't one. She's a dictator.

Anonymous said...

list is just too funny. My only problem, well, I need to vote for all of them. Well, I see one I wouldn't vote for, but the rest, just put a checkmark by all of them. haha

Anonymous said...

You should have left the city of Jackson out of it. Any white person who lives in that shithole is a moron anyway.

Tim Johnson, for throwing in with two Democrats, and governing like a Democrat, for 6 years. He should be horse whipped.

Kingfish said...

If it gets any worse, I might rerun the poll next week without Kenny Stokes. Just stipulate he is number one, poll is for number two.

Ironghost said...

Kenny's a loudmouth, but Chokwe Lumumba has an agenda for evil and a background of separatism and racism. I don't know if he's given it up, but I'm not putting money on it.

Johnson is just incompetent. Mother Mary is a suburban dictator who rules her sheep with a tight fist.

Anonymous said...

11:08, I take offense to your characterization that everyone who lives in Jackson is a moron. I am a Phi Beta Kappa, former executive at Revlon and former court reporter, and have a Master's degree. There are a lot of well-educated people who live in the city because we like Jackson and work on making it better, actually are well educated, world traveled, and are able to put sentences together without using four letter words.

Anonymous said...

It may be interesting to see how the poll would look if we could rank them in order from worst to least bad.

Mark Geoffriau said...

With regard to Stokes and Lumumba, I'm split -- it's just too hard to decide between the two of them. I recently posted this on another website:

[In reference to JFP article here: http://www.jacksonfreepress.com/index.php/site/comments/councilmen_address_store_shooting_111910/ ]

"Disgusting. Among other things, Stokes and Lumumba:

(1) attempt to make it a race issue, by suggesting that the African American "community" and the Indian "community" need to have a dialogue. Baloney. This was a conflict between a law-abiding business owner and a law-breaking thief.

(2) use intentionally misleading language to garner sympathy for the thief, by saying that people shouldn't be shot if they "got a beer" from a store. Yes, he got a beer -- he got it by stealing it from the store owner.

(3) attempt to confuse the issue by claiming that the store owner shot the thief over the theft itself ("Killing a person for stealing beer is wrong."), rather than acknowledging that the store owner chased the thief out into the parking lot, and then fired in self-defense when the thief reached down into his truck.

(4) encourage a boycott of the law-abiding Indian store owner. ("We have to, in the community, make a decision whether folks are going to shop at certain places, ... and we should use that as leverage to get people to the table to talk about it.")

I toned these comments down some, and was "rewarded" by having my response approved by the JFP moderation team (see at JFP link above).

Anonymous said...

12:03 Full of yourself? Sure sounds that way. You can have fifteen advanced degrees, belong to every honor society there is, and travel to every country on earth, but you aren't going to stop the crime in Jackson, MS. Most people know this, and if they can move to a safer place they do. They don't want to turn the TV on every night and hear about the rapes, car-jackings, robberies, kidnappings, drugs, and murders in their hometown. They don't want to hear they live in one of the most dangerous cities in America. Not saying you are a moron and if you feel safe in Jackson good for you, but most people just don't anymore.

Anonymous said...

The only idiots are those who think a city limits sign stops crime.

Anonymous said...

Stupid is as stupid does. Until someone gets a handle on crime in Jackson, hanging out downtown is...

What is more abhorrent is the fact that black on black crime in DT is not reported by any of the activist media. It is obviously not willing to deal with a very real race-related issue.

FrugalGal said...

12:40, she never said she's stop crime in Jackson. You said anyone who is white and lives in Jackson is a moron (and you didn't qualify it in any other way). By showing that her education and experience seem the opposite of "moronic," 12:03 was simply pointing out the logical flaw in your statement -- sweeping generalizations in place of actual facts don't make good arguments.

Unless you can provide the IQ tests for every Caucasian living in the city of Jackson, then that particular claim of yours has all the persuasive heft of "everyone is doing it."

You want to have a reasoned discussion about race? About crime? Sure - but more thoughtful words, less bluster, please.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Kingfish I think you should have done this poll differently. Maybe there should have been a poll only for Jackson City Council, Hinds County Politicians, Madison County Politiciation, and Rankin Politicians.. Yes you would like to vote for many on this poll as is.......

Mark Geoffriau said...

@ 12:50

Straw man much? I don't see anybody claiming that city limit signs stop crime, or that there are cities with no crime at all.

The real issue is whether criminals pick their potential victims and locations at random, or if they take into consideration local law enforcement, the average wealth of neighborhood residents, and so on. Is it your opinion that criminals choose victims and locations at random?

Anonymous said...

1:02 In replying to my post 12:40, you asumed incorrectly I wrote the 11:08 post, and I did not.

Look let's cut to the chase. We all know why the population of Jackson continues to decline while the surrounding cities continue to grow. If you have five advanced degrees or a eight grade education and you want to live in a dying, crime and drug crazed city and risk your life everyday, then Jackson is the place for you. Enjoy it while you.

Anonymous said...

RE: Mark Geoffriau

In that instance, I would have to give the nod to Lumumba, simply because I believe he is an intelligent man and capable of doing quite a bit of good for Jackson, but won't. Stokes is a hopeless fool.

Tim Johnson is a spoiled brat (among other things).

Anonymous said...

Ironghost, I agree with everything you wrote re Stokes/Lumumba. When Stokes name comes to mind I immediately think of a blowhard fool.

Lumumba has changed only in the sense that he seems more determined than ever to achieve his goals and those of the Malcolm X Grassroots Movement, "by any means necessary."

Of all the names listed in the poll, Lumumba appears the most dangerous to America and ALL its people as he promotes his political dream.

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Trap-of-Socialism-and-Communism---Sounds-Good-in-the-Beginning&id=518605

"When the people become a burden on the Government we all know what happens, society starts making choices due to scarcity from the unproductive inefficiencies of socialism and communism. Choices of who gets what or who should live or die and slowly this becomes acceptable considering the situation as it worsens, until it is your turn to have you human rights violated or your life ended. Socialism is a trap, those who promote it cannot perform. And if this continues, do not forget I told you so."

Anonymous said...

12:40, full of myself? Just stating the facts that not every white person in Jackson is a moron. And you still did not answer the other relative point. You are unable to tell me one city in America without a thriving downtown that is financially doing well. That is a fact.

And if I chose to get an education .. paid for by me while working a 50-hour a week job.... I Say more power to Jackson that people such as myself care to live there. And we don't mind if you don't come to Jackson, we don't mind at all. We prefer you satay where you are.

Anonymous said...

kingfish, don't you live in Jackson?
excuse me I mean "shit hole"

KaptKangaroo said...

2:32PM you are right, not all folks downtown are morons....

its definitely you....

Anonymous said...

obviously everyone in jackson has lost there since of humor. well educated but humorless

Anonymous said...

Two problems with this poll:

1. Many, many, many corrupt politicians (local and state) are not listed. There are lots of them who NEVER make headlines, so the regular folks don't know about 'em.

2. Can vote for only one.

Anonymous said...

no votes for ed blackmon???

KaptKangaroo said...

OK....

Here is the deal. Go to blogspot.google.com and start your own blog. Its simple. Unless, of course, you are a moran. (Don't get the joke yet?)

Then insert the widget that allows a poll.

Vote for yourself.

Then give up any attempt at opinion for credible comment here away because, I guarandamnteeya you are the ONLY visitor.

Can I get fries with that?

Anonymous said...

You are definitely a 'moran' Kappy.

Anonymous said...

WILL LONGWITZ....justice prevailed tonight and truly the best man won!!!

Paul Mitchell said...

I have a complaint about the poll, too. I honestly think that Kenny is a pretty good dude that is just of much, much lesser intelligence than normal people. In earlier times, Kenny would have never been allowed to leave the group home or ever operate a motor vehicle. Plus, the good thing about Kenny is that he is too stupid to consciously commit a crime.

My vote goes to Hood.

Anonymous said...

Ratcliff squeaked by (looks like about a 150 vote margin) depiste all the money Longwitz put into the race.

Now maybe Longwitz can open an office that people can find, put a number in the phone book, you know - all that practicing attorney stuff ;-)

Kingfish said...

I voted for Priester today. As for the Madison race, I'm just glad its over. Never seen a county court race generate so much vitriole and drama.

Anonymous said...

WAIT.
If I'm not mistaken, we have an ACTUAL Phi Beta Kappa / former executive at Revlon / former court reporter WITH a Master's degree in our very presence. (See 11:08)

And this individual claims to describe Jackson, Mississippi without using any four letter words.

What a distinguished and vibrant capital we have. And furthermore, what an honor to have an ex phi kappa Revlon in our midst.

Anonymous said...

2:32pm There you go again. Still full of yourself. We don't care if you work 100 hrs a week and go to school every night and every weekend. That's your choice and your business and has nothing to do with anything this discussion is about.

Anonymous said...

I only finished the 8th grade, I'm unemployed and on food stamps, I have multiple mental issues (but I'm in treatment and on meds), I am missing 4 teeth and a 5th one is loose, and even I don't live in Hinds County.

To think, all this time I thought people were created equal sorta but now it's fact that PBK's are in fact superior, especially when topped off with a masters and an exRevlon exec background. I hope you wear a little badge identifying you as such so we can all know that we are in the presence of greatness. You are SO awesome, I can't believe one person could be all that.

Anonymous said...

Well,I can play in the dirt... If those who live in Jackson are morons, then
those who flee Jackson are gutless, spineless 'fraidy cats who didn't have the guts or self-confidence to stick it out to fight to turn around the capitol city of the state they claim to love. I guess if the Nation is attacked, they'll pack for Bermuda.
And,those of us who live here , Buster, are smart enough and confident enough to take care of ourselves and realistic enough to know that no place is perfect but that , if we work at it, we can make any place better than we found it. You, on the other hand, just wimped out and RAN, you coward. Glad to have you in Madison and not in our military. Poor baby, did someone in Jackson scare the little buddy? Grow up and grow some.

Anonymous said...

fraidy cat?
buster?
no one "flees" jackson because they're scared, they have enough sense to not waste their life in one of the nation's worst state capitols... common sense.

probably best if you head on to bermuda

When Did This Blog Go To Moderation? said...

Demographic leaving Jackson the fastest if the black middle class. On average 19 people have moved out of Jackson every week, week in and week out, for the last 3 decades. 8:41 probably held onto WCOM stock all the way to the bottom.

Anonymous said...

The sign of a losing argument is when one side starts calling others names.

Anonymous said...

Can someone tell me what is so bad about someone being proud of their life's accomplishments?? PBK is getting beat up for doing some good things and it appears some people seem to have a problem with that. Me thinks Jackson needs more people with good life accomplishments. Then they can run for office and be on one of JJ polls.....

Rebekah said...

The exRevlon exec remark was a tad pretentious...(and please excuse the spelling or grammer...i have a 3 year old buzzing around me and I am lucky enough to go to the bathroom alone much less edit my comments)..BUT, in her a little over the top resume of her background, she was trying to make a point...and that is alot of smart, educated, WEALTHY people live in Jackson. There are also alot of poverty stricken people in Jackson...and alot of middle of the road people...Jackson is attractive to many people! They love it here! NE Jackson is pretty much "the place to be" for many Jacksonians...I think it is based on preference rather than education though. Alot of the people who love Jackson are not leaving- no.matter.what. Despite the crime, they love it and are sticking with it. I would hate for NE to just be taken over by crime and thugs (and no Donna Ladd, I am not talking race here so relax)...I have many positive points about living in Jackson, BUT I for one can't wait to move back to Madison. And our choice to move is really about the school we chose...Are the cops bad in Madison? Yes...I completely fear them..if I partake in grape therapy one night then I will grab a cab (which is what we should do anyway)..even after one glass a wine you will get pulled over. That being said, crime is EXTREMELY low there...but that doesn't mean it won't change oneday...Jackson, MS has a WHOLE is bad...there is crime everywhere and it is only a matter of time before it becomes widespread....BUT, I don't want to leave Jackson (And by saying Jackson,I am including Ridgeland, Madison, Brandon, etc.) I lived in Memphis and I HATED it. I love the hometown feeling Jackson offers....I truly hope people in Jackson stand up for their properties and not become a victim...or a statistic. Lock your doors...and that goes for everywhere...invest in alarm...perhaps a loud, obnoxious dog....and stand up for yourself. If all else fails get a gun. But if you love Jackson then you have every right to stand up for it. No one has a right to bash you for it. It is about personal preference...

Anonymous said...

I made the original comment, and I stand by it: white people who choose to live in Jacksion and be governed by animals who belong in cages at the zoo are fools.

You people live in a city that elected Chokwe Lumumba, and that regularly re-elects Kenny Stokes by landslide margins.

Keep thinking of yourselves as progressive. Live in Belhave or Fondren. But don't bitch when your wife/daughter gets kidnapped and raped.

Anonymous said...

Okay, if those of you who think my comments about being a PBK, etc. were pretentious, I apologize. You are entitled to your opinion. The point I was making is that there are plenty of people such as me that live in Jackson by choice. And I put my money where my mouth is by working on a program that helps college students in the metro area working internships in the political arena so that one day we do have better leadership. And maybe one day we won't have polls for worst politician... no offense Kf!! But very humorous poll!

Anonymous said...

This has got to be the most fun I've had discussing an issue in a while.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and on the judicial runoff election. I'm a lawyer, and I do 90% of my work in Madison County. I've been practicing for 13 years.

Will's a nice guy, and I've known him for a while. But he overreached -- badly -- especially after the general.

For any lawyer with (I think) 2-3 years of experience to disparage his opponent (who's practiced for 20 yrs) as a "title attorney" is the height of arrogance.

And Will was really stretching the truth when he called himself a "former prosecutor."

Anonymous said...

Overreach:

Longwitz
Latino
Whitwell

AND if Weill runs to be a MS Supreme in 2012, that would be the biggest example.

Anonymous said...

@11:14- I couldn't agree more re: Longwitz. Arrogant is probably the most apt descriptor of his personality; since I knew him in 2000.

I think he probably would have won had he not overplayed the "Ratcliffe's just a real estate transaction/title lawyer" card.

The claim that he is a former prosecutor dovetails nicely with his mud on the other candidate to show an astonishing amount of hubris.

Either way, now Madison County has one of its own lifetime citizens, who is also a businessman, to be its judge. I think that is a win for the County.

Anonymous said...

12:13 --

Your word, "hubris," was much better than mine.

Anonymous said...

I know Will personally and was in on his campaign from the start. He is NOT arrogant. He ran a totally ethical campaign and made it clear to all of us helping him he did not wnat to engage in an unethical campaigning. Will had the best experience to be the Madison County Judge. In addition, he has mentored at "In His Steps" ministries for young people and would have been excellent for Youth Court. Madison County is the loser in this race.

Anonymous said...

@3:08- I also know Will personally, and imagine that I have known him longer than you have.

The idea that a man with, at most, 7years' experience in law is more qualified than a 2 decade lawyer who has run a successful business is comical in and of itself.

It becomes more comical when you actually peel back some of Will's resume and discover that, in that 7 years, he's hardly been in any substantive legal practice at all. Certainly not much actual litigation.

You are right, Will has done some good things in the community of Madison. Which begs the question, when did he start? Let's see; by his own record, he's only lived in central Mississippi since about '06 or '07. It's great that he is a youth mentor and goes to church. He also was campaigning in each of those positions.

The bottom line is that he has unfettered ambition (we can all see that from the enormous amount of money and energy spent on a friggin' county court seat), which is unfortunately at this time not paired with substantive experience (which we can't find, since he's not done much.

Anonymous said...

2010 WL 1929923

There is the citation to the only case that Mr. Longwitz has on Westlaw (other than his inclusion as a second chair attorney in an '05 commodity futures trading commission order, NOT A TRIAL BUT A HEARING).

If you have access to WL, you will find that Mr. Longwitz failed to file in Federal Court an alleged civil rights violation, which is pretty much the most elementary step in that particular type of practice.

By the way, the cite is his motion for remand, which he claims he should win because he defeats federal diversity jurisdiction by naming a John Doe from Mississippi as a Defendant. Poor guy. You can still have, and must have by operation, federal question jurisdiction to deal with the 1981 or 1983 claims.

He wouldn't have been that good of a judge, is my point.

But, he does love kids!

Anonymous said...

Okay, if Will is so inexperienced as you indicate, then why did he have the endorsements of Gov. Barbour, Lt. Gov. Bryant, Rep. Martinson and Sheriff Trowbridge?

Ratcliff only had a comment on his brochure from some unknown in Jackson.

With all those years of work, seems Ratcliff would have had those endorsements. This whole election is a joke. Will won by over 2,000 votes in the first race. He loses by a few...that is ridiculous. The law needs to be changed.

Kingfish said...

My honest opinion? This was a race with a weak field. Hinds County Court Race. Former Special circuit judge, attorney who had practiced for a long time, and two other experienced lawyers. That was more like it. This race aroused the furies for some reason. Both Ratcliffe and Longwitz are pretty good men with good character. One could be considered inexperienced and the other was an experienced attorney supposedly but frankly, the experience didn't mean much to me for the race.

A real estate attorney is for the most part a glorified notary public, and yes, I know what I am talking about. They outsource the title searches to an abstractor, pay him a hundred bucks or a little more, have a notary do all the work, he comes in, signs the necessary documents in the closing package and lets the borrowers and other parties sign, the notary takes care of it in post closing, thats it. Did I mention he gets paid 65-70% commission on the title insurance policy? Suppose you have an actual real estate problem? Too bad. Many of these so called real estate attorneys will tell you to go get a real attorney (Especially one in Brandon known for his McClosings). I'll put it this way. If Mr. Ratcliffe was doing closings in Louisiana, he might not even be a lawyer as he does something that in other states does not require a license to practice law.

As for his practicing in court, most of it is collection work. Here your honor, sign off on this your honor, thank you your honor, then go garnish or attach something. Why doesn't someone show me some real litigation, and by that I mean more than a handful of cases he has handled? What I think was probably going on with Mr. Ratcliffe was that the real estate closing business is very slow (NUMEROUS real estate attorneys have told me it is) and has been for some time. Mr. Ratcliffe saw a chance to check out and grab a guaranteed salary of $103,000 a year. I don't blame him for that as I don't blame Mr. Longwitz for running or Mrs. Bluntson who serves at the whims of Harvey Johnson and would probably like a more secure paycheck herself. I told Pamela Hancock she should've run as she was more qualified than all of them put together and would've been tough to beat.

Having said that, they are all pretty good people and don't deserve some of the comments I've refused to publish. Someone called Longwitz a scumbag in one comment. Give me a friggin break. They all are an asset to the community, they all saw an opportunity to advance themselves and serve the community, and worked hard to win this race. One man won fair and square, one lost by a very close margin and that is that. This race doesn't deserve anywhere near the level of vitriol is has experienced and things need to calm down a little.

Anonymous said...

Hide yo kids
Hide yo wife
Hide yo husband,
'cause they rapin erybody out her!

Anonymous said...

We gon find you. We gon find you. You can run and tell dat! It appears I have been outed.

Anonymous said...

Having said that, they are all pretty good people and don't deserve some of the comments I've refused to publish.

How Ladd & Lange of you. The beginning of the end of the good thing you had going here.

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

Kingfish said...

So you have the right to call anyone any name in the book on this site?

Paul Mitchell said...

Well, RIGHTS are curious things, Kingfish.

Anonymous said...

You're editing out more than name calling though above you only refer to "comments". You're no different now than Ladd & Lange. Control freaks of a feather flock together. Congrats.

Anonymous said...

Please do a run-off for second place.

Kingfish said...

I'm editing out comments that are calling both candidates some not-so-nice names. My blog, my perogative. Don't like it, resubmit the comment without the name-calling and it will be posted.

Anonymous said...

Not just name calling. you are also editing out content that you don't think is "relevant". you've done it several times, with respect to this election.

Anonymous said...

Glad you voted for Priester, KF. I was amazed at the number of conservatives who voted for Southern without checking out either guy's resume. Priester was the conservative vote.

I am disappointed that you allow the anti-Jackson people to be insulting but edit out the pro-Jackson people who want to give them a taste of their own medicine.

I can understand those who can't afford private school wanting to move to Madison or those who simply want a new house and with lower taxes can get more house for the money, but I have zero respect for those who move to Madison in FEAR. The risk factors are so much greater for activities they engage in routinely. And, I think the Madison folks who fled because of crime had best find out the details of about HOW crime is reported in their county.

Anonymous said...

Crime is directly related to poverty. Look at Canton. They are significantly above the average crime index for that reason because that's where the poorest people in Madison live.
Look at the median incomes and one sees that comparisons are silly unless they are by zip code.
The sad truth is there are areas one should avoid in every community and if you are wealthy, you have less reason to be afraid of becoming a victim than someone who lives or works in a poor neighborhood.
You are more likely to be raped or assaulted or murdered by someone you know anywhere you live.
If you appear vulnerable because you aren't paying attention to your surroundings or appear frail or naive to the criminal looking for opportunity, you increase your chances of stranger crime ANYWHERE.

Paul Mitchell said...

Anon 10:48, crime being directly tied to poverty is a MYTH and that MYTH is continually espoused to justify behavior.

Crime is directly tied to ideology.

Anonymous said...

>>Crime is directly related to poverty.<<

This necessarily presumes that people of lesser material means have no free will.

Does it not?

Rebekah said...

Crime isn't just related to poverty. I know alot of "poor people" who don't commit crime...and there are "rich people" who commit crime too.
It has to do with the individual. People are just...lost...There are alot of people in this world who just DO NOT CARE about anything or anyone...It is extremely disturbing.

Rebekah said...

Crime isn't just related to poverty. I know alot of "poor people" who don't commit crime...and there are "rich people" who commit crime too.
It has to do with the individual. People are just...lost...There are alot of people in this world who just DO NOT CARE about anything or anyone...It is extremely disturbing.

Anonymous said...

If it is related to poverty, why is West Virginia so low in crime ranking? And most of Arkansas, except Little Rock?

It is relative to NO FREAKIN' DADDIES.

Paul Mitchell said...

Anon 5:48, while one would come to that conclusion without looking at the whole picture, again, it has to do with ideology. I know plenty of kids that were raised with no father and have never committed a single crime.

The ideology that allows entire families to stay on welfare forever with not one single person ever having a job, the majority of that same family never graduating from high school or even middle school, grandmothers having the same apartment for her entire life and all holidays spent at her place, no one ever having to pay a single bill...that is what I am talking about.

Furthermore, sticking with my same topic, crime explodes where there is little chance of a criminal getting DEAD practicing his trade. Where gun control is the most stringent, crime rates are the highest. It is ALL about ideology.

But, of course, that ideology does diminish the role of the father.

Anonymous said...

Oh cry me a phucking river. GOOD GOD. It has to do with 78% of black babies having NO PHUCKING FATHERS AND TEEN AGED MOTHERS.

Paul Mitchell said...

Of course, you could argue that it is nothing but black people committing crime, but you would be wrong or racist. As an aside, over 90% of black folks do appear to support the ideology of which I speak.

Kingfish said...

I'm probably going to run a poll next week for runner-up. I've gotten alot of feedback on this poll. All of it has been people think its hilarious.

Kingfish said...

Wait a second, Queen Mary gets more votes than Harvey?

You guys are kidding, right?

Paul Mitchell said...

I think that more people think that Mary should actually be good at her job, so every ridiculous thing she does is disappointing. Hence the negatives

Anyone with an IQ exceeding twelve knew that Harvey was an utter and complete failure, and remembered that Frank Melton beat Harvey because Harvey was SO BAD at being Mayor. People expect Harvey to suck and HARD.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Paul. If my neighbors became complacent enough to accept the results produced by the likes of Stokes and Lumumba (sp?) and Harvey then I'd move. A lot of people have worked very hard to be able to afford to live here, and wouldn't tolerate the stuff that goes on in Jackson/Hinds Co (e.g., the E911 fiasco).

Anonymous said...

6:29 Just curious...do you oppose sex education in the schools and hate Planned Parenthood ?

If so, you are going to have to learn to live with the results of ignorance.

Anonymous said...

Is a politician " the worst" when he's a joke but by and large ineffective or is " the worst" , the ones who are very effective at profiting from the office or acting against public interest?

You've got both kinds on the list, KF?


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Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

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In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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