Read it for yourself. Yes, I know, its a small part of the budget. However, earmarks are the fulcrum for much larger federal spending. "Hello Senator, don't want to vote to spend $800 billion to bail out this huge bank, no problem, we will just kill that earmark for your little project you promised to your constituents tomorrow. They'll understand." So the Senator votes for the bailout so his earmarks don't disappear. Earmarks need to go, both in the legislative and the executive branch.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
25 comments:
I'm hardly stunned. I think he's the same one who voted for being nice to Cuba once in some form or fashion. I had to email him over that one.
I think it's time he left.
It's the same old story everywhere - "our" senator or congressman is deeply in touch with the needs of his constituents, whereas the other 49 sets of senators and congressman are a bunch of moochers and deadbeats trying to spread our hard-earned tax dollars around other states.
Sid Salter ran some numbers on this on the air a few weeks ago and pointed out Mississippi would come out a big-time loser if earmarks were banned.
I think Boehner proposed a sensible alternative - let each of these earmarks go through a separate, up or down, public vote in the full House. It would be a lot of voting, but if the proposals were worthwhile, and each vote public, I don't see how anyone could complain, since you could always vote out somebody next election if you didn't like their voting pattern.
Can someone provide a breakdown of government monies spent in Mississippi in federal dollars v. local/state dollars? Not saying earmarks are right or wrong here, but to put the debate in context I am curious what it would mean on a practical level, in terms of dollars, if the federal spigot were cut-off from our state.
Uh...If neither the Legislative nor Executive branches can specify where federal appropriations are to be spent, who can?
Earmarks are terrible. Glad he did it.
I'm amused by the argument that MS Senators ought to be for earmarks, because without them, MS would be a "big time loser". A similar argument is that black conservatives are voting against their own interests.
This assumes that political decisions ought to be made with no other consideration than the immediate monetary benefit, and ignores the possibility that an individual or voting population may consider political principles like restricting government power or individual liberty to be more important than their own immediate financial benefit.
Hilarious! You people are underestimating the power of the dollar.
Thanks for shedding light on this subject, KF. This is something that has stuck in my craw for a long time about Mississippi. Yes, we are the poorest state in the country; however, this is, in my humble opinion, because of an extreme lack of entrepreneurism in this state, brought about, no doubt, by the steady flow of federal dollars here over the past 50 years or so. If you look at the states who have received the most federal money over the past half-century (states like Alaska, Mississippi and West Virginia) you can see that federal money does not help the economy that much. For "conservatives" like Thad Cochran to insist on spending government money for parochial interests not necessary for the prosperity of America as a whole is a betrayal of the public trust. It is also hypocrisy of the highest order for one to consider oneself conservative and business friendly while at the same time insisting on making the federal government the ultimate decider of who are the winners and losers in an economy. Some might call that communism, in fact. On the personal level, government welfare creates negative disincentives to work and personal responsibility; on the corporate/business level, it has the same effect. But as long as Mississippians keep appointing its politicians to embarrassing life terms in office, this is what we will get. Remember the old definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. We have had tons of federal money for decades and remain the poorest state in the country. Why would more of the same be of any benefit?
Bill George -- I don't know that anyone is underestimating it -- after all, Roger Wicker managed to summon up the courage to vote for the 2 year ban.
Mark, as I am sure even you would acknowledge, some services, e.g., building roads, cannot be cut. And when the federal government isn't going to help pay for it in our poor old state, the ante is going to be upped on the citizens of Mississippi, those with any kind of money, to come up with the tax dollars to pay for it. Perhaps that is fair. Regardless, it won't be pretty.
Cochran stated his position a week or two ago: whose discretion should determine where the $$$ goes, Congress's or Obama's?
I don't know how good an argument that is on the merits, but rhetorically, not bad.
MS got more than twice as much money back as it sent in in tax dollars in 2005.
Wicker was named King of Earmarks and Cochran, I think was third.
Just might want to look at where the federal money has been spent so when it's gone, you'll be prepared to live with the consequences.
i agree with the monetary argument here, but did anyone ever think of the the fda stipulations that the demos sneaked into the bill. the power the government would give to the fda (or create a new beuarocracy) to shut down any producers of food for any reason. This would eliminate small farmers (all of mississippi farmers) through stricter and more expensive guidelines that they would have to follow...
Reality check, people. If earmarks go, then our senators will have to go to the agency and present their case as to why they need the $$$. Then the bureaucratic wheels of fortune will turn and some individual, who has no interest in your district or its issues, will decide whether you get the $$$ or not. We all saw how ell this worked for the Army Corp of Engineers in New Orleans.....
can he be checked for belt-way fever, or even demensia? bound to be one of the above?
9:49 - that is NOT the only alternative. see the last paragraph of my post from 2:08 yesterday about Boehner's alternative. Cochran, for instance, could propose a federal bill to provide $5,000,000 to widen Lakeland Drive in Jackson. Period. That's the entire bill. Then the Senate and House could vote on it. If the majority approves then it goes to the President. If not, it dies. it is totally transparent. This way Congress tells the agencies how they want the money spent; it is just not hidden among thousands of other earmarks in some mammoth omnibus funding bill. It would require a lot more work from congressman (or, more likely, their staff) to decide what to support and what not to support. Horse-trading and favor-swapping would still go on, but it would be transparent, and congressman could be held accountable for each individual vote, as opposed to the current system where they can avoid responsibility for wasting money on a bridge to nowhere somewhere because it was added onto a large bill that they could not vote against because of other essential matters covered by the bill. That's ok, though - make them earn their bloated salaries for a change.
Why the hell would people want to concentrate MORE power in the executive branch of the federal government? No true conservative would! And no Mississippian, conservative or liberal, should!
"Earmarks" are the result of members of Congress doing what the founding fathers intended for them to do.
Those of you who oppose earmarks apparently have no idea how the federal government works. Under the system established by the founding fathers, a member of Congress can simply introduce a bill to fund a project in his state or district. If there is a ban on "earmarks," a senator or representative would need to crawl down to the White House and beg to have the project included in the annual budget request.
Don't be stupid, people. Do you really want all the money to go to California, Illinois, Texas, Florida, New York, and the heavily populated states?
4:07, the proposal is a nothing. You can propose all the bills you are talking about now under current standing.
Well Mark got quiet.
It is an insult to the Founding Fathers to argue that earmarks as we now see them are what they intended...highways to nowhere or monuments to egos were not intended.
The FF had a silly notion that those elected would be honorable and we would hold them accountable.
There are many different ways to improve the current necessity of helping states take on projects they can't do on their own . For example,through the existing bureaucracies( local/state and federal) by creating cost/benefit tests and/or a budget allotments for state infrastructure improvements that have to meet guidelines before they can come up for a vote.
Why are ALL political discussions offering only extreme alternatives these days, hmmmm?
bureaucracies, 3:40? Now that is a dandy. Instead of turing over my retirement to the private side, I'd like to turn mine over to some bureaucrats. Know any I could call?
No sure what in the hell your first paragraph meant but pass the pot. Or second paragraph. Keep passing.
The Constitution does not guarantee there will be no excesses or mistakes. The bridges to nowhere are the fault of the voters, not the Constitution.
The FF did everything they could to prevent the rampant federalism that has overtaken this country. But their concept is Gone With The Wind. The FF did not desire that the federal government would be in the business of "helping states take on projects they can't do on their own."
What strikes me about the last few comments is their take on the founding Flounders; keep taking in the simpleton message and do nothing but complain. This great United States is the greatest experiment ever! Get out of the petri dish and figure out how to change the world.
You "change the world" people need to get in your bunker and take the pill.
Don't know what you are talking about 5:43pm but I'm sure you are making a very important point.
Bleh...
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