Now THAT was funny. Need to win all of your games first THEN worry about the BCS.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
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- Cochran votes against earmark ban
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- Jackson's water bond failure: The REST of the story.
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
32 comments:
I almost ruptured my spleen laughing. The fact that they lost to another team that ALSO has no business being ranked was even better.
Should be no questions as to whether or not a mid major conference belongs in the championship. NO is the resounding answer. Compare that then the Auburn vs. Bama game. There are 2 different leagues of play.
10:20 IS exactly RIGHT. Put either of their asses in the SEC and OUCH.
GO TCU!
SEC would have a tough time playing in Texas. Always have, always will.
Yeah, the SEC would have a tough time playing in Texas, but we would have a better idea of how hard if a Texas team would not have JUST LOST LAST YEAR to Alabama in the BCS Championship Game. Geez.
By the way, Texas is 1-1 in the BCS, no other Texas team has gone. The SEC is 6-0, won the last four years straight, with three different teams in that run. Tennessee also won the first one. God willing, Auburn will be the fifth SEC team to win a Championship, and that will make five years straight, with four different teams.
Think before you hit "Publish."
TCU paul, not Texas. I can't bring myself to make the next comment.
And paul, did you ever consider it is a much more competitive situation and losing one game in that league is much akin to a MS team even showing up in contention?
And for the record, after the ass-whoopin' over Alabama...
GO WAR EAGLES...
Would love to see TCU - AUBURN....
Did you not say that the SEC would have a tough time playing in Texas?
Sorry, when I think of Texas, I think of the major conference with the four year colleges, I never even consider the Mountain West Community Colleges.
When I said Texas, yes I was thinking of Texas in general. Far better football in TX IMO, I consider it equivalent to FL, even though they are having difficulties lately - Tebo missing? I'm just saying lets bring in TCU. They are for real. The SEC loves to brag, but they do it under the obvious argument "we are better" because we are the SEC. History as you reference is just that, the past, ask Alabama after yesterday.
Yes its me.
Only problem is I remember this same crap from TCU a few years ago and then USM beat the shit out of them.
TCU wants respect? Follow the path taken by FSU and Miami: play good teams even if on the road and actually beat them. Doesn't help when a team like Hawaii loses only once and then gets destroyed in the Sugar Bowl either.
Same shit paul brings up, it was years ago...
If they showed up and beat 'em, I'm right, if not, I'm sold on your analysis.
It is hard to argue against the SEC being superior to all the other conferences, especially when you use the BCS as your gauge.
By the way, it is my opinion that the National Championship Game should be the Big 12-South v. the SEC Champ, every year. That way we would be assured of the best game possible.
A humongous sports blogger broke down the BCS earlier this year. I read his stuff all the time because he is a stinking genius when it comes to college footbaw. Here is the professional breakdown by a person that obviously makes a huge salary talking college footbaw.
She is cute paul, oh, and the analysis, excellent link, fantastic anchor text and...new calling?
KK, if I could get paid for talking about college footbaw, I would be the happiest guy in the world.
Boise State: funniest upset I've seen since the Longwitz-Ratcliff runoff.
Even funnier is LSU losing to the Hawgs!
LSU to Liberty bowl!!!
Utah wiped the floor with Alabama in the Sugar Bowl.
TCU would destroy Auburn.
31-17 is wiping the floor?
Wasn't that was the year that Number 1 Alabama played Number 2 Florida for the National Championship in Atlanta right? Alabama lost and had to play Utah in the silly season. I have that right, don't I?
Funny. Many love the Carel that is the BCS. However, if that is the case, just stop the chrade and and only let teams from the SEC, Big 10 (11) and Pac-10 play football. The BCS is a failure and is set up only to allow programs with "BCS status" get access.
Just because BSU lost one game does not mean they are any worse then Auburn. BSU has already proven themselves as a program (see Fiesta Bowl).
A playoff would solve this dispute.
Remember, the SEC has shitty teams too, just look at Vandy and Old Mess. Conference affiliation has NOTHING to do with how good a team is. Being the worst team in the SEC isn't saying much...
4:10- Auburn is the Tigers or Plainsmen, never the War Eagles. "War Eagle" is a chant or cry.
Anon 2:52, Mississippi State is historically the worst team in the SEC with an average win total of 4.5 a season.
As far as the playoff is concerned, there are two conferences that diametrically opposed to it and they are the PAC-10 (3 bowl eligible teams this year) and the Big 10(11)(12) (8 bowl eligible teams this year).
I suggest that the MWC, the PAC-10, and the WAC get together and play a championship. The Big 12 South and the SEC get together and play a championship. The winner of the latter will get to play the All-Stars from the former. That might be a good game, but probably not.
Anon 2:53, War Eagle is also a Tramp Stamp: http://media.ks1075.com/AM%20SHOW%20AUGUST%202010/lowerbacktatt.jpg
Record Top 10 vs Top 25
#1 Oregon - 1-0 - Stanford
#2 Auburn - 5-0 - Miss St, SC, Ark, LSU, Bama
#3 TCU - 1-0 - Utah
#4 Wisc - 1-1 - Mich St(L), Ohio St(W)
#5 Stan - 0-1 - Oregon(L)
#6 Ohio St - 0-1 - Wisc(L)
#7 Mich St - 1-0 - Wisc(W)
#8 Arkansas - 4-2 - Bama(L), Aub(L), A&M(W), SC(W), Miss St(W), LSU(W)
#9 OU - 2-2 - Mizzou(L), A&M(L), FSU(W), Ok St(W)
#10 Boise - 1-1 - VT(W), Nevada(L)
Being the worst team in the SEC isn't saying much...
So true...
I love it, "we suck less"(tm) seems to be the mantra of teams lately.
paul, really a dude tramp stamp... huh?
That says it all, JDBerry.
It is impossible for a non-AQ team to play an SEC schedule because the SEC will not let them in. The non-AQ can only play the schedule they have. SO it is complete BS to not let the non-AQ join a BCS conference, then punish them for not playing that schedule.
The circular argument is amusing. They could join the PAC-10 or the Big 10(11)(12) if those conferences wanted to play a championship.
Or, the Boise States and the Utahs could maybe schedule GOOD teams and take the money hit.
But, they won't do it and they will fade away just like Rutgers, IF the sportscasters that all went to SoCal or THE Ohio State would shut up about them.
Perspective, Boise State lost to Nevada. Yes, I realize that Nevada is ranked, but not because they are good, but to prop up Boise State. Utah? Same thing.
Two games caused the mid major conference teams to even get into the discussion - Boise State's victory over Oklahoma and Utah's stomping of Alabama. Take those away and no one in their right mind would think that ANY mid major team could stay in the stadium with the top SEC and Big 12teams.
The SEC and Big 12 clearly produce the best teams, and despite my Oklahoma upbringing and longtime Texas residence, I have to admit that the SEC is the king. Yes, Vandy and Ole Miss aren't very good this year, but I think they're the only two teams in the conference that aren't bowl-eligible. I think Auburn/Oregon is in our future, although I won't be sad to see Oregon State win this weekend and set up a TCU/Auburn title game. BB
Hey Paul,
The SEC really showed a "close" game tonight. Isn't this a championship game?
Go TCU.
KK
Yes, KK, the Auburn Tigers won the World Championship Game today.
Now, on to the silly season and fun times, the work is over.
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