Friday, October 12, 2007

Review of the Local News

Jackson might lose over $1 million dollar in federal grants.
As if Jackson didn't have enough budget problems, it faces losing over $1 million in federal grant money if it doesn't hire more police officers. Under Melton's leadership, the JPD is down to 410 officers. JPD needs 450 officers to keep its grant and there are only 12 cadets in the current class at the police academy (Maybe we need to call THAT police academy. Just a thought.). Our fearless leader said he would replace the officers who complained about his running the police department with the cadets when they graduate. Yes dumbass, the crime rate has exploded under your administration, you promote your bodyguards over more qualified police officers, suspend testing for promotions, let the staff level fall to the point where you are going to lose over a million dollars and your response is to get rid of your veterans and replace them with rookies. You were right when you ran for office. You said you were going to use unorthodox tactics to fight crime.
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071012/NEWS/710120371/1001/news

By the way, if you want to see some really bad writing, read the whole story. Where do these reporters go to school? Some of my favorite phrases in this story: "weeded out", "officials have approved taking several million out of reserve" (several million WHAT?), "recruit class", and "Cmdr." (First time that word is used, should be spelled out).

JSU Band gets to march after all.
So the whole fuss over so-called hazing (The media never did disclose what the so-called hazing was apart from what the administration said. So much for investigative reporting.) was that some of the students had to do push-ups and crunches? Heaven forbid some of these lard-asses should have to actually get in shape. When they run late or screw up, can't have accountability. I did quite a few push-ups in basic training and it didn't hurt me nor anyeone else at all.
Its just amazing that the whole fuss was over doing PUSH-UPS!
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071012/NEWS/710120376/1001/news

The Clarion-Ledger once again refuses to take a stand on Iraq.
How cowardly. It has repeatedly refrained from stating a position on our presence in Iraq. Instead it usually states its still controversial and then cites polls and uses Iraq as an attempt to promote its storychat instead of doing something useful. Today it meekly opines that the Democrats have failed to withdraw troops from Iraq. It ignores the issue of whether the surge has had any success or any other real discussion about the war in Iraq. After criticizing the discussion for not covering the real issues, the newspaper then ironically goes to merely citing polls about the war. So what is it Clarion-Ledger? What do you stand for?
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071012/OPINION01/710120324/1008/OPINION

Salter blasts Lester Spell over beef plant fiasco.
Lester Spell tries to avoid responsibility for the state losing over $50 million dollars on the beef plant by blaming Mississippi State (He must not need that vote.). Salter does a very good job of refuting Spell's feeble attempts to pin the blame elsewhere. Lester, you need to go. Along with the rest of the rascals who helped you in this venture but it starts with you.
http://www.clarionledger.com/misc/blogs/ssalter/2007/10/lester-spell-beef-plant-failure-is.html

Mychal Bell of the Jena 6 back in jail.
Jena 6 thug Mychal Bell is back in jail again as his probation was revoked. Hmmm....you are on probation and are surprised that when you beat someone up and face criminal charges for doing so, your probation is revoked. The poster, L.W. claims these are old charges and uses Sharpton as an expert on how this is unjust. I will clarify this if you are not aware of some key facts. Mr. Bell has been arrested repeatedly for property crimes and battery. These are not old charges but have happened in the last two years. Its also funny how the same people who gnash their teeth over how Frank Melton was not punished for his probation violations excuse Bell's probation violations so easily. Did I mention Bell also had a prior conviction?
http://www.jacksonfreepress.com/comments.php?id=15148_0_67_0_C

The truth is Bell is a thug and has gotten a free pass until he beat up Justin Barker because he was a star football player. At Brandon and other local schools recently, when players got in trouble with the law, the were immediately suspended from the team. At Jena, Bell was allowed to keep playing despite being arrested repeatedly. It should also be noted that Justin Barker, the victim, had nothing to do with the noose-hanging incident. See previous post: http://kingfish1935.blogspot.com/2007/09/what-is-truth-here-thugs-or-theologians.html

Now, the weather is very nice today. How nice? Go to the state fair for lunch and find out!

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.