( Kingfish note: Read fifth comment. )
This is not my usual post. I’ve read and heard events connected to Heather Spencer and George Bell III. I recently watched an episode of Montel with out of control kids hitting and hurting their parents and siblings. One weekend recently, I watched a movie about a son hitting his Mom, who covered it up for a long time, and she almost waited too late to seek help. I also have a family member who is seriously bipolar. I have hormonal teenage boys that some days drive me past crazy into the deranged zone.
I would say this to mothers who love their sons; it is not love to make excuses for, hide the facts, or cover up violent tendencies towards you or anyone else by your son; it is not love to simply take your son from one school and place him in another because the original school asks you to get help for your son; it is not love to feel offended when neighbors ask you to keep your son away from their children because of his fighting.
It IS love to take your son to a pediatrician or other physician, get a physical, and take all referrals to counselors and psychiatrists seriously. It IS love to work with school officials on best solutions to keep your son where he is and suffer consequences, then face those he harmed in the first place and get past it. This may take more than one or two times, but it’s worth it. It IS love to have your son apologize to neighbors and friends for their behavior and ask their forgiveness, and ask for a chance to come over again AFTER 30 days or so of suffering the consequences of being grounded or implementing behavior modification therapies.
Medication is not always the answer, but counseling and tighter discipline is. It is never easy, believe me, but if you can get your son to get either the medical help or counseling he needs, you may one day see a smiling young man who enjoys his life again and respects the sanctity of life and living.
For those Mothers who have sons with deeper medical and psychological problems, it’s not your fault. The Mothers who will discover your family problems may stare at you and whisper, but many times they are staring at you wishing they knew what to say to comfort you and their whispers are giving thanks they are not in your shoes, but they also may be whispering prayers on your behalf.
When I see the faces of my own young men smiling, I thank the powers that be for letting them work through all their problems and getting to the other side as healthy, athletic, productive teenagers. It’s not all over yet, but tough love sometimes is the best love there is, and the rewards to follow in the coming years will be better than any one thing I can ever imagine.
Email me: dwfinms@gmail.com
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Tuesday, September 18, 2007
From DWF To Women Raising Boys
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2007
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September
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- And your typical female student at Ole Miss..........
- Another reason to hate Alan Lange and Y'all Politi...
- The Rankin County Jail's Latest Resident
- Latest from Iraq
- I haven't used that word in 3 years
- Meet the LSU Golden Girls
- Scoop: Brandon loses more than game as several pla...
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- The Original Cinderella Man
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- What is the truth? Heroes or Hoodlums?
- Marshall Ramsey is at it again.
- Did Syria have nukes?
- From DWF To Women Raising Boys
- Please Help the Spencer Family
- Catcher of thieves or Mama's Boy?
- Remembering Dien Bien Phu, or "You are a paratroop...
- The Cat's Eye Nebula
- Help the Spencer Family
- New video of the new Mike the Tiger
- For once, I can't think of a title for a post. So ...
- DWF Was A Cougar Before Cougar Was Cool
- The Clarion-Ledger does it again, sigh.
- The Marines in Iraq
- Todays Featured Neighborhood Website: Fondren
- One Last Tribute to Luciano
- Laziness at the Clarion-Ledger
- Navigating Wine with Benchmarks
- Best reporter in Jackson?
- Stacy McDonald: Jackson Artist Extraordinaire
- Nothing like Damn Good Tequila
- Since we are talking about Vietnam.......
- Check out the New Kat's Wine Cellar
- Farewell Luciano.
- The Cougar Is Back in Town (DWF)
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- The NEW Kats Wine Cellar Has Opened
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The Kingfish's Favorite Posts
- Presenting the Mississippi State Capitol (Video)
- Editorial: The airport belongs to Jackson. Period.
- Kelly arrested for taking pics of Rose Cochran
- The Real Face of Mississippi Government
- PERS gets mo' money but funding level falls
- Majority black public school districts spend more, waste more, fail more
- Jackson's water bond failure: The REST of the story.
- Time to return fire on Banks
- Supervisor votes on projects next to land he owns
- Throwdown at the Levee Board
- Door shuts on another life
- Truth begins to come out in Irby case
- Judge orders interview of Irby
- Steadivest: Snakes or snake-bitten?
- Post-election thoughts
- Rest of the story about Crisler's shooting
- Jackson paying $4 million in fees
- Will Jackson end up like Birmingham
- Record-breaking fraud?
- FBI contacted MVT about Evans
- Heather Spencer police reports
- An open letter to John McCain
- Are your 401k's safe from Democrats?
- Democrats' Plans for Controlling the Media
- Who is Teresa Ghilarducci?
- Kingfish wins at Ethics Commission
- Tribe of Obama
- Berry V. Aetna (rankin County Cesspool)
- Incest in Dixie: Mississippi Legal Profession
- Jim Hood: Liar
- JFP Tax Problems? (See comments)
- The SafeCity Bill
- Isn't this called secession?
- A Black Governor in Mississippi?
- Time to grade Miles' exam
- Domestic Violence & Divorce in Mississippi
- Truthwatch, eh?
- What is Jackson Jambalaya?
- Election Night Thoughts
- Counter-Insurgency for Beginners
- Jazz for Beginngers
- Mayor Melton's Soljah
- A Leopard Can't Change His Spots, Can Jere Nash?
- Harborwalk Hoax?
- A Pox on All Your Houses
Local Media
- Y'all Politics
- WLBT
- West Jackson Facebook page
- WJTV
- The Northside Sun
- WAPT
- The Mississippi Link
- The Rez News
- Othor Cain
- Mississippi Magazine
- Jackson Free Press (Jackson, MS Alternative Weekly)
- Harborwalk Thread (Jackson's Latest Boondoggle)
- Darkhorse Press
- Clarion Ledger (Jackson, MS Gannett Newspaper)
- Clay Edwards Show
- Barksdale Today
- Supertalk Mississippi
Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
13 comments:
You are so right. I had problems with my son and was embarassed at first but then realized he needed help. It's not easy, but you have to do it.
You leave out the fact that those kids of yours had to worry about ME beating the heck out of them if they pulled anything.
hehehe. yes I'm kidding. I think.
I hope everyone with a son or daughter with problems can find the strength to get help for them before something serious happens.
Doing the best for your children is what every parent strives to do but enabling your children to be bullies is child abuse. They will grow up hating themselves and the world around them.
I have a first cousin, who is 52. He has been in and out of the criminal justice system since he was 10. He escaped the Department of Corrections in 1983. He was captured in New Mexico operating a clandestine lab out of the trunk of a stolen vehicle. That was 5 years later. He had to complete his time in NM, then come back to MS to face his escape charges as well as complete his time on the charges prior to escaping.
The many years he abused his parents over and over again was a horrible experience for me. He is an only child. I was the only one of the relatives, outside of his parents, who would visit him in prison. Which, by the way, is a humiliating experience for visitors.
He ended up in AL after completing all his sentences in MS. Our family thought this was the beginning of a new life. He met a wonderful lady. He treated her like a queen. They got married. Then his behavior changed. He began treating his wife just the same way he treated his parents. They were divorced soon after that.
He went through several significant others. They were treated the same way.
He was then locked up for the same behavior problems he had since 10 years old.
We all knew what his surface problem was. He is an addict. He had been in and out of rehab after rehab.
He was on probation from AL. His supervision was transferred to MS, so that he could live with his Mother.
Things went ok for around six months. My aunt thought things were ok to the point that she could go visit relatives out of state for a week or two. When she returned, she found cigarette burns galore on furniture and carpeting. While sitting there crying, there was a knock on the door. A man had come to see the house. Seems my cousin had put the house up for sale.
This was the beginning of the FINAL!!!! straw for me.
Not only had he distroyed the house, he stole some checks and forged worth several thousand dollars on my aunt.
When she confronted him, the abuse was worse than I had ever seen.
I convinced her to call the police and have him locked up. The only saving grace was that I spent hours upon hours counseling and encouraging her to follow through with charges on him and make them stick.
He is now locked up once again in AL.
I have no contact with him whatsoever. Neither does his Mother. I must say, giving her support provided her with more sanity than she has ever received. I just wish I had done that alot sooner.
In closing, I hope parents with children get as much psychological support as they can. On top of that, they need a really good support system. It takes alot of courage to defend one from abusive children, no matter what the age is.
Strange Irony, being this big, tough man that can beat a woman to death with a flashlight, but you lack the stones to shoot yourself? Can't wait to see Bell fry, (rather gas, as it were,) but it'll be 20 years before we see it. He could have saved us all a lot of time and energy.
To anonymous concerning your cousin: Way too often I've learned that addictions are often ways to self-medicate deep psychological problems, which sometimes CAN be helped with prescribed medication. It's so sad you and your aunt suffered so, but hopefully the support system you speak of will be in place for the future. If only one person can step in to offer assistance, that one person makes a huge difference.
One reason I wrote the post is many single Moms don't always have that support, even with good fathers who love their kids.
DWF
Thanks for writing. Support systems are hard to find nowdays. I pray for decernment. I listen to my gut feelings. I praise God for the fact that my cousin had a wonderful son. He practically reared himself. He now has a wonderful family with strong spiritual background. He is hard working and stays on track. I am so proud of him. It is amazing to even think about how well he is doing. He is strong enough to stay away from his father, who is always on a "pitty pot".
My cousin was arrested in Arkansas once and used my Daddy's name when booked. UGGG
Ever felt like you never wanted to see anyone again?
wow - thank you for reminding us all what is really important, not just our social status and who our kids socialize with.
As one who has been in therapy and working in the helping profession, earlier on in sessions I finally realized that the longer one stays within a relationship with a psychologically damaged person, the same thing happens to them. There again, it goes back to having a strong support group to assist in bringing things into perspective. Bottom line is to ensure one has a loving and caring support system. To that end one easily realizes those people are not guiding one down the wrong path. I hope this makes even further sense.
BTW The administrator of this website had a great deal helping through my last situation.
Awww - don't tell me he has a soft side? Kingfish? Say it isn't so!
I'm afraid Kingfish does indeed have a soft side.
I do hope someone sees this that needs help, and will DO something. Hard to ignore now that all the domestic violence problems are in the news.
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