Father’s Day has come and gone, at least according to the calendar. But I’m still carrying it with me.
There wasn’t a big moment this year. No slow morning at Table 19. No movie with the kids. I was in Atlanta with my wife. We had brunch at one of my favorite spots—pancake the size of a hubcap—then caught a flight home late that afternoon. That’s how it goes sometimes. Just because the day looked different didn’t mean it meant any less. I didn’t see my kids, but I heard their voices. That was enough. My son called from Chicago, where he’s been working in kitchens and steering his own path. He’d been cooking all weekend for some big-deal James Beard Awards event, but he carved out time. We talked like fathers and sons talk—about food, work, and a little bit of everything. Nothing dramatic. But solid. My daughter was tied up in a wedding. She’s at that stage where all her friends are getting married—or she is. Still, she picked up the phone and called. We talked for a while, covered a lot of ground. Some serious, some light. All of it real. When you’re a dad, you learn fast that the best parts don’t come gift-wrapped. They sneak in when no one’s looking. A quick text. A shared look. A laugh you didn’t see coming. That’s where the good stuff lives. I became a father at thirty-six. I had wanted to be one since I was a teenager. That might sound odd. Most teenage boys are thinking about cars or sports, not parenthood. But I lost my dad when I was six—one day he was here, and a few weeks later he was gone. Brain tumor. Fast and quiet. Like a door closing. My brother and I were the only kids in our Sunday school class without a father. Each year on Father’s Day, they handed out boutonnieres. One color if your dad was alive, another if he wasn’t. I don’t know who thought that was a good idea. I wish I’d had the guts to say no. But I didn’t. I just wore it and kept my head down. I don’t know when churches stopped doing that, but I’m glad they did. Some traditions need to die. I didn’t grow up bitter. I never threw a pity party. I just knew, even early on, that if I ever got the chance, I wanted to be the kind of father I missed out on having. When that day finally came, I didn’t take it for granted. Still don’t. I’ve worn a lot of hats—chef, restaurateur, author, tour leader—but none mean more than “Dad.” It’s not even close. My son and daughter are grown now, out in the world doing big things in their own way. They couldn’t be more different, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. My son is steady, focused, driven. My daughter is bright, thoughtful, sweet, and funny. They’ve each taught me more than I’ve taught them. I’m better because of them.
Fatherhood doesn’t clock out. There are no timecards or vacation days. It’s always there, running in the background, no matter what else is going on in life. And I wouldn’t change a thing. I didn’t grow up with a father, but I wasn’t completely without guidance. There were a dozen men in our neighborhood who stepped in over the years. They gave advice. Offered correction. Showed up when it counted. And then there was my mother. She never remarried. Raised us on a public school art teacher’s salary. Went back to school for her master’s degree while figuring out how to keep two boys in line. She didn’t know a thing about football or hunting. So, she did something better. She scraped together what little she had, bought a trailer, and parked it down near the Pascagoula River. Said she could learn to fish with us. And she did. That little fish camp gave me some of the best memories of my life—and taught me more about food, family, and joy than any classroom ever could. But even then, I didn’t fully understand what it meant to be a father until I had kids of my own. And when I did, everything shifted. Father’s Day doesn’t always come with pancakes or presents. Sometimes it’s a missed call or a seat left open. But it’s never been about the day—it’s about the life around it. I’m not handing out wisdom here. I don’t have a sermon. Just perspective, and a little gratitude. It’s a few days after Father’s Day and I’m looking around and feeling thankful. I’ve messed things up. I’ve had moments I wish I could rewind. But I’ve tried to show up. I’ve tried to be steady. I’ve tried to make sure they never had to wonder if they mattered. That’s what counts. That’s enough for me. So, to every father out there who’s showing up—quietly, steadily, without fanfare—I see you. To the new dads, the tired dads, the empty-nest dads, the stepdads, the solo dads, the uncles, the across-the-street neighbors, and the ones who stepped in when no one else would, you matter. You’re needed. And even if no one says it—thank you. Father’s Day comes once a year. But being a dad? That’s every day. And I’m thankful for all of it. Back then, that little boutonniere felt like a quiet way of saying what everybody already knew—we didn’t have what the other boys had. Nobody said it out loud, but there it was, pinned to our shirts like a label. What we didn’t know, couldn’t have known, was that one day we’d get to wear a different kind of badge—we’d get to be the dads. And that changed everything. Onward.
Chocolate Cheesecake Serves 8 to 10 Preheat oven to 350°F For the Crust 8 full-sized graham crackers 16 Oreos 6 tablespoons salted butter, melted Place the graham crackers and Oreos in a food processor. Pulse until fine crumbs form. Place the crumbs in a mixing bowl, drizzle with the melted butter, and mix well. Pour the crust mixture into a 9-inch springform pan. Starting in the center, press the crust firmly, moving excess crumbs toward the outer edge. Firmly press the remaining crust up the sides of the pan. Place the pan on a baking sheet and bake for 8 minutes. Remove from the oven and reduce the temperature to 300°F. For the Filling 1 1/2 pounds cream cheese, room temperature 3/4 cup granulated sugar 1/4 cup light brown sugar, packed 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream 8 ounces dark chocolate, melted and cooled 1/4 cup cocoa powder, sifted 4 large eggs, room temperature 2 egg yolks, room temperature 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract Place the cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer. Using the paddle attachment, beat on high for 1 minute. Scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula and repeat the process three times. Add the sugars and salt. Beat on high, scraping the bowl every minute, for 3 minutes. Add the melted chocolate and cocoa powder and mix well. Lower the mixer speed and add the eggs and egg yolks one at a time, ensuring each one is fully incorporated before adding the next. Scrape down the sides to ensure no large pieces of cream cheese remain. Add the cream and vanilla and beat until smooth. Pour the filling into the crust and place on the center rack of the oven. Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, until the center jiggles slightly when the edge of the pan is tapped. Using a Water Bath: Wrap the springform pan in heavy-duty foil and place it in a larger baking dish. Pour hot water into the baking dish until it reaches halfway up the sides of the springform pan. This helps prevent cracking and creates a silkier texture. Remove the cheesecake from the oven and let it cool for 2 hours at room temperature. For the Topping 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips Bring the cream to a boil in a small skillet. Remove from heat and stir in the chocolate chips. Once all the chips have melted, pour evenly over the top of the cheesecake. Cover lightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight before serving. Using the Right Technique: When cutting, dip your knife in hot water and wipe it clean between each slice for pristine cuts. Refining the Texture and Flavor: Cheesecake always tastes better a day or two after baking, once the flavors have had time to meld. For the richest flavor, make at least one day in advance. Options for Enhanced Flavor and Texture Add Depth to the Crust: Incorporate 1/4 cup finely ground espresso beans to the crust mixture for a subtle coffee note that enhances the chocolate. Layered Ganache Topping: Add a second layer of dark chocolate ganache before applying the final whipped cream topping. This extra layer gives depth and a glossy finish. Salted Caramel Drizzle: Drizzle salted caramel sauce over the finished cheesecake before serving for a contrasting note of sweetness and salt. Infused Heavy Cream: For the filling, infuse the heavy cream with crushed espresso beans or cinnamon sticks before mixing it into the batter. Enhanced Cocoa Flavor: Adding a teaspoon of instant espresso powder to the filling can deepen the chocolate flavor without making it taste like coffee.
