Wednesday, March 5, 2025

Robert St. John: The Weight of a Wedding

Life tends to deliver milestones in clusters, never spreading them out at a leisurely pace, but stacking them up all at once. This week is no exception. On Saturday, my daughter is getting married—a once-in-a-lifetime event. Then, two days later, I board a plane to spend the next eight weeks working overseas. It’s not ideal timing, but that’s the nature of my life. In the coming months, I’ll host six trips across Europe—Spain, Tuscany (twice), a Tuscany trip I call Tuscany 2.0 where I host guests who have already travelled with me in Tuscany but with all new adventures, Holland/Belgium, and England/Scotland. Some of these trips I’ve done before, some are newer variations, but I love what I do, no matter how many times I do it. And while those familiar streets, piazzas, and villages bring me joy, my mind isn’t on travel at the moment. It’s on something far bigger.

The most common question I get these days is about the wedding. The second most common? “How did you lose all that weight?” Let’s go ahead and clear that one up. No, I’m not sick. No, I didn’t do it just for wedding pictures. It’s been a multi-year journey. Three years ago, I was tipping the scales at 285 pounds. That’s on a 5’10” frame—there’s nothing healthy about that. I was 60 years old and still eating like a college freshman. I was shopping in the big-and-tall section and they knew as soon as I walked into the store that I wasn’t tall. Something had to change. I tried one of those packaged food diets (the food was terrible), took one of those shots for a while, and worked overseas for months at a time—where I inevitably lost weight just by living differently. The Mediterranean lifestyle, the daily walks, the fresh, unprocessed food—it’s not magic; it’s just a better way to eat and move. Then I took I took a different shot for a while. Some say the weight-loss shots are “cheating.” I say it’s not a competition—it’s my life. If losing the weight means I get to see my grandkids graduate one day, then I’ll take whatever edge I can get.

Some might say this is a long-winded diversion from what’s really on my mind, and they wouldn’t be wrong. The truth is, my daughter is getting married, and I’m doing everything I can to keep myself from falling apart. She’s 27 years old, in love, and ready. She and her fiancĂ©, actually dated in eighth grade, but that was the same year we packed up for a six-month trip across Europe. There was a tearful breakup on the front porch before we left, two boyfriends in between, and then—a decade later—Robert was welcomed back into the picture. Her mom and I couldn’t have been happier. He’s everything a father could hope for in the man who will stand beside his daughter. He loves her, protects her, and respects her. And, maybe most importantly, he makes her laugh. He’s the kind of man who will be a great husband and an even better father. He checks all the boxes.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past year, it’s that planning a wedding is an entirely different beast. My wife has been in full planning mode since the day after the engagement, and our friend Justin has been right there beside her every step of the way. I’ve learned that when it comes to wedding prep, there are two kinds of people: the doers and the check-writers. I landed firmly in the second category. But while I’ve done very little besides paying for it all, I have watched in amazement as they have poured every ounce of energy into making sure this day is nothing short of perfect.



And then there’s my restaurant family—our team of 450 talented, hardworking people who make the impossible happen daily. Many of them are stepping up to handle the culinary aspects, bar, and floral elements of the wedding, and I couldn’t be more grateful. And the timing? Not exactly ideal. We just wrapped up Mardi Gras season, which meant hosting several large-scale events, cranking out thousands of king cakes, and keeping up with the sheer chaos that comes with the season. They didn’t miss a beat then, and they won’t miss a beat now. I know how lucky I am to have a team that works this hard and cares this much.

Weddings are about love, but they’re also about effort—about the people who show up, who put in the work behind the scenes, who sweat the small stuff so that when the day arrives, the only thing left to do is celebrate. I may have written the checks, but they are the ones making this day happen. And for that, I am deeply grateful.

My experience with weddings is mostly from the catering side. My experience with being the father of the bride—well, I’m a rookie. This is my first, and last. No do-overs. No practice runs. And I’m not handling it particularly well. I can be driving down the road, a song comes on the radio, and suddenly, I’m blubbering for four blocks.

And so, the time comes for a father to do the hardest thing he’ll ever have to do—stand back and let go. Not in sorrow, but in awe. Because what a privilege it has been to love her, to watch her grow into the woman she was always meant to be. She was once a little girl who fit perfectly in my arms, her tiny head resting on my shoulder, trusting me to hold her steady. And now, she stands beside the man who will hold her steady from here. My role shifts, my place changes, but one thing never will—she will always be my daughter, my greatest joy, my proudest moment. And no matter how far she goes, no matter what life brings, she will always have a place to rest her head.

Is it too soon to say that I am ready for some grandbabies?

Some weeks in life feel heavier than others. This is one of those weeks. But what a beautiful weight to carry.

Onward.


Tobacco Onion Caesar Salad

Ingredients

Dressing

2 egg yolks

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

2 Tbl fresh garlic, minced

3 anchovies

2 Tbl red wine vinegar

1 Tbl Worcestershire Sauce

2 Tbl Dijon mustard

1 cup light olive oil

Garlic Croutons

2 cups French bread, cut into 1/2” cubes

3 Tbl olive oil

2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp kosher salt

Tobacco Onions

1 large red onion, shaved into VERY thin circles ( about 1 1/4 cups)

2 Tbl white vinegar

1/2 Tbl kosher salt

1/8 tsp fresh ground black pepper

1/2 cup milk

1 whole egg

1 1/2 cups seasoned flour

1 quart vegetable oil for frying



For the Salad

3 romaine hearts or 1 large head of romaine (outer leaves discarded)

2 cups garlic croutons

1 1/2 cups Caesar Salad dressing

Tobacco onions

1/2 cup parmesan cheese, freshly grated



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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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