The Jackson Cracker Barrel is now closed.
Monday, May 22, 2023
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Trollfest '09
Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).
Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.
Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".
In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.
In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.
Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.
Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
Trollfest '07
Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.
If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!
This is definitely a Beaver production.
Note: Security provided by INS.
49 comments:
Lemme get a rockin chair for free
I remember when they opened. A representative from corporate walked into our office in Ridgeland and gave everyone a good voucher for a free meal.
KF you should really have a post listing all of all the stores and restaurants that has fled Jackson over the past 5 years
Im surprised they stayed in that hell hole as long as they did.
Another decline in City revenues. Too bad the Administration doesn’t get it
9:28 How about the list of employers as well. And residents and the spending power they took with them.
Good gosh!! This is devastating. It’s not like these decisions are made overnight. God bless that entire corridor of business.
they couldn't wait on HB 1020
Just around the corner from that part of the Frontage Road you've got Ridgewood Road north of Atkins to County Line that is completely lawless. Some bad ju-ju there.
Damn that place was covered up on Sunday.
That brand new gas station next door will be a gathering place for the local gangbangers!
"Damn that place was covered up on Sunday."
Yep, but locals on Sunday don't meet the business model of a nationwide business whose mission is to attract the traveling public.
Outback, Twin Peaks, Cracker Barrel. The boot store will be next if it's not already shuttered.
@10:31
Actually QT quick trip is super clean and has full security. Did our moron mayor address Cracker Barrel leaving during his weekly presser? I live in NE Jackson but I have a medical practice in Madison county. Other mayors don’t hold weekly press conferences bc they’re actually working and not talking. Let’s be fair though to Lumumba bc talking oops I mean lying is all he can do. It’s funny bc anyone can tell he’s lying. He thinks he’s so smart yet it’s nearly comical to other leaders in metro Jackson as they call him a laughing stock
Next!
Now the "Breakfast Club" may have to meet around the new gas pumps next door eating crackers and drinking bottled water while relieving themselves in the creek.
That gas station really overshadows it. I was just there a week ago. The food really declined.
The Chokwe Lumumba’s of this country, and those supporting them, ruin everything - for everybody else.
And it looks like corporate America, while still mostly unwilling to take a vocal public stand against leftism including “trained Marxists” (Black Lives matter Patrisse Cullors words), may be saying times up for these cities that use lawlessness - as a means of control.
P. S. 4;26 AM, sorry, but there are those that actually believe this fool Lumumba.
Who cares
Choker has been nominated man of the year for Madison county for facilitating exponential growth in Madison County
Did y’all react this way when backyard burgers closed in Madison? No, because y’all are political partisan hacks and you know it.
Geez, it’s just a chain restaurant. Those come and go.
Do you think Cracker Barrel closing has anything to do with the unrelenting crime, lack of reliable potable water, lack of reliable garbage service, or higher local sales tax they have to charge than neighboring communities?
Flee!! Flee for your lives!!
When those businesses were open, Cracker Barrell, Twin Peaks, & Outback, there were more Ford trucks broken into or stolen in those parking lots than anywhere else in the state. People can say this isn't about the mayor, but tell me how many other cities are experiencing a mass exodus of residents and businesses? Yes, Backyard Burger close, but that Franchise went belly up. Cracker Barrel closed the location. There is a big difference.
Atlas Shrugged. Cracker Barrel style. Marxists will eventually run out of productive citizenry.
JACKISTAN is in a death spiral. Keep electing the same idiots and you get what you deserve.
Will be amusing to read minor leaguer Franklin's take on this closing. You're watching the next Highway 80 transformation in real time.
I was in the Madison Sally's Beauty Supply and mentioned that the one in Ridgewood Court had closed and the manager told me that the theft was so bad, they couldn't keep any stores open in Jackson.
Unfortunately, theives and murderers got to keep on stealing and murdering to stay in business. Oh, where will they go?
We really are in a spiral as a society.
There are too many lazy people and too many criminals for the few, rare decent people to support.
I don't know how this ever gets better in my lifetime.
Please tell me more about a gas station having security. There's a famous restaurant on 80 in Jacktown that has an old guy in a blue uniform sitting on a stool out front. Now THAT is 'security', jacktown style.
@ 7:42 your attitude is EXACTLY what is killing Jackson MS
I hope the media and the "pseudo media online" credits you because they're ALL posting these same pics. Don't take from the man if you won't acknowledge him. IJS
A company spokesman stated that the closure is because of not recovering from the pandemic.
But wait, their Pearl location is doing fine. Wasn't there also a pandemic in Pearl?
Bovine scatology.
Spokesman is being PC. It's because of the crime! Duh!
According to the US Census Bueau, Jackson has surpassed San Francisco to become the city losing the most population in the country. Wonder why?
@7:42, right because a poorly-run fast food joint struggling to compete with the goldmine Chick-fil-a next door is the same situation as this.
@7:42 If you do not know the difference between a drive in fast food business and a sit down restaurant you need to wake up. Cracker Barrel restaurants in Pearl and Brookhaven are booming. No one wants to have their car broken in while eating or mugged on the way out, The I 55 corridor has become a thugs haven and the idiot running Jackson into the ground along with the racist that keep him in office are at fault. I sold my businesses and home in Jackson and got out before this last decline.
It never had easy access. I’m sure that and not having a reliable source of clean water didn’t help.
@ "According to the US Census Bueau, (sic) Jackson has surpassed San Francisco to become the city losing the most population in the country. Wonder why?"
Because Jackson is worse.
So, I've read all the previous posts, and I'm always perplexed at the comments on stories like these: why are there posters who want to obfuscate the reason everyone knows is true on why they closed this single location? What do you stand to gain by that? The reason for its closure is undeniable ("settled science," to use a phrase you prefer), so why say otherwise? To deny it seems to be counterproductive to helping solve the underlying problem. It's like an idiot I saw on Nextdoor last week who believes he has the solution to Jackson's continued decay. He said he stays frustrated with it every day, and his solution was to repeat the following 5 times, at 3 different times of the day (paraphrased): "Every day, in every way, Jackson is getting better." So, lying to yourself 15 times a day is somehow going to make this city better? I can't see how lying to yourself 15 times a day will even make YOURSELF better!
Amen 1:59.
Until the drunk admits he has a problem and wants help, its pointless.
Jackson is full of alcoholics that don't see themselves as sick.
They would rather lie about the plight of Jackson than do the hard work to fix it. Wasting anyone's time, until they really admit the REAL source of the problems. And I don't expect that to happen in my lifetime.
I-55 North is looking more and more like Hwy. 80! There is no longer a "nice" part of town. No more crackers, no barrel needed!
Heard there’s a pawn shop coming to old CB location.
It's just a perception of closing businesses. Right?
"No more crackers, no barrel needed!"
Gotta admit, that's dang funny!
Why does Madison County always get pulled into Jackson’s mess? We are a separate entity. Jackson is all of our capital city, but surrounding counties want nothing to do with Antar period!!! Is it really shocking Cracker Barrel “pulled up stakes”? Other restaurants are going to follow suit too!! There is no sound tax base because Jacksonian’s would rather patronize our businesses, or other municipalities as I previously stated!!! Hinds county tags are all over Madison County. In our shops/stores, etc. I live in Gluckstadt. I can speak on what I know are facts. Failed leadership plus crime have driven away good companies and citizens!!!!
It failed due to poor marketing. All they had to do was change their name to "Crack Barrel".
Embarrassed while traveling in Colorado talking to a stranger when he mentioned stopping in Jax at this Cracker Barrel. Said it was like no one wanted him to be there. He finished and got out quick. Mississippi can no longer claim to be the Hospitality State.
Meh. That place served trash food anyway. Hopefully a locally owned restaurant will take over the space. Little Tokyo and Amerigo are already moving back into the city from the suburbs. Won't take long for another business to capitalize on the high traffic along frontage road.
I hate this. I really liked going there. And I always had fun going through the store. This sucks.
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